Crossing the Line – Chapter 62

Completely Out of Control

Gulp.

In the too-quiet room, Jiang Siyi could hear her own swallow.

            

Why… completely no reaction.

Still looking at me like this?

Panic crept up her heart.

            

For no reason, she thought of the “substitute” she didn’t want to believe in.

The thought had barely formed when Lin Ji’s hand pinching her chin interrupted it.

Her heart suddenly clenched.

            

Her chin was lifted. Lin Ji’s cold and gorgeous face slowly drew near in the light.

Those full, soft lips that knew so well how to part her own had reached kissing distance.

Even the warm breath slowed a few degrees.

            

Sss—

Lin Ji gently sniffed by her lips.

Jiang Siyi: ?

            

Lin Ji: “No alcohol smell.”

Jiang Siyi: .

So she thought I’d been drinking.

            

Thought I was talking nonsense because I was drunk?

No alcohol smell meant she hadn’t been drinking, yet she’d said she loved her.

Lin Ji’s heart had just been conquered by an unexpected wave of sweet surprise when she saw Jiang Siyi turn her face away and slip from her grasp.

            

Her hands were suddenly empty.

“I wasn’t drinking, why would there be alcohol smell.”

Flaring up, Jiang Siyi stood.

            

She stood too fast, as if genuinely angry.

And indeed, a little disappointed.

She’d finally worked up the courage to confess…

            

“Siyi.”

Lin Ji tried to grab her arm, but she stepped away first.

Jiang Siyi: “I’m going to shower.”

            

Amid the rising steam, she sank into the bathtub. Bath oil spread across the water’s surface in a cherry blossom pink scattered with fine shimmer.

Her fingertips skimmed lightly across the water as she tried to empty her mind, not to recall the awkwardness just now.

How could she blame Lin Ji.

            

It was true that she did become more forward after drinking.

Lin Ji had even chased her to the London reception before, just because she’d had a couple extra glasses.

But confessing—she would never do something like that on impulse from alcohol.

            

Had Lin Ji seemed a little anxious just now, even a little sad?

A sour ache spread little by little across her chest.

Don’t be like this, Jiang Siyi.

            

She patted her own face.

Don’t make the person you love sad. Don’t do this kind of thing.

She adjusted her mood and composed her expression in the mirror while blow-drying her hair.

            

When she went out, she’d pretend nothing had happened.

Loving her—like the way Xueqiu loved her—that would be fine too…

When she emerged from the bathroom, her expression was flawless, but her thoughts were still in chaos.

            

The moment the door opened, she saw Lin Ji standing by the bathroom again, waiting for her.

This time she wasn’t reading. She was simply standing here, fully focused on waiting for her.

Lin Ji had also finished showering, in the other bathroom.

            

Her hair was in a freshly blow-dried, slightly damp state.

Not as meticulously groomed as usual.

Tonight her long hair had a few strands of unruly frizz, as if she had no mood to care whether every strand was perfect.

            

Her eyes met Lin Ji’s—eyes layered with unspoken thoughts.

A black so dense it seemed it could steal her soul.

Just moments ago she’d told herself that loving her like Xueqiu did would be fine.

            

Now, being looked at like this, she should go up and nuzzle against her, not turn away guiltily, afraid to look too long into those eyes.

Jiang Siyi didn’t know how many times Lin Ji had watched her back.

When she turned away, that slender silhouette was like a blade, effortlessly slicing open Lin Ji’s heart.

            

She didn’t want her to walk away again.

Arms suddenly reached forward from behind, wrapping tightly around her from both sides, pulling her into a full embrace.

The force of the sudden embrace from behind was immense—like a beast—pressing directly against Jiang Siyi’s spine.

            

She stumbled slightly in surprise, but the person behind held her heavily, steadily, with no chance of falling at all.

Her steps away were forcibly halted.

The person holding her from behind was trembling slightly.

            

“Why did you leave without hearing my answer?”

Lin Ji’s voice sank into her heated nape.

Beneath the restraint was an unmistakable hurt.

            

The scattered traces of hurt in Lin Ji’s words settled over Jiang Siyi’s heart, blooming into an ache that covered her completely.

She didn’t leave again. She wanted to hear her answer.

Anything would do.

            

Her thundering heartbeat began pounding against her chest again.

A certain premonition echoed.

The answer she hadn’t dared to hope for was being delivered to her ears in Lin Ji’s tender voice.

            

“I love you, earlier than you liked me.”

The arms already holding her tight enough to ache could still tighten further.

“Much earlier.”

            

Strange—happiness felt so similar to heartache.

Swelling ache and sour tenderness flooded Jiang Siyi’s heart all at once.

A hundred tangled thoughts twisted into knots, then melted in an instant beneath Lin Ji’s kiss.

            

The same bath gel’s fragrance mingled between their lips and teeth.

And was distilled into heat by a kiss too deep, too entangling.

The bedroom door was closed. The bed was soft.

            

Jiang Siyi was kissed down onto the bed, the woman above her wreaking havoc in silence.

As lips and tongues tangled, her soft, wet, water-red tongue was drawn out and stirred.

Such a deep kiss that even Jiang Siyi’s thin eyelids flushed peach-pink.

            

Her chin went soft and sore, yet was held firm—nowhere to escape—she could only tilt her chin up and kiss her back.

The wet sounds grew heavier, and the air turned parched.

Her back was slick with sweat, her hair damp and stifling.

            

She hadn’t yet learned how to breathe more efficiently while kissing; her breath was still scalding, clumsy. But the ferocity Lin Ji unleashed this time was entirely different from their previous kisses.

Her brow furrowed unbearably.

Tiny, fragmented sounds had been hidden in her throat.

            

Pressed out by kiss after deep kiss until several escaped.

Jiang Siyi’s palm was narrow—delicate, clean, fair in that uniquely feminine way.

Lin Ji’s hand slid in from the side, thumb pressing over her intricate palm lines, claiming the three lines and nine mounds¹ of her palm.

            

Then she gripped her wrist, easily leaving red marks on the thin skin.

Beneath the red marks, skin flushed pink through and through from kisses and touch.

The person beneath her was a mess again, but this time the intent was different.

            

She only wanted to make even more of a mess of what she had yearned for all these years—messier, wilder.

Lin Ji gathered Jiang Siyi’s skirt hem in her hand.

Long legs, smooth as cream, bent restlessly.

            

Her knees were steadied.

A very unfamiliar gesture, but the body’s owner had been kissed so dizzy she’d gone soft as water.

In whatever position, she could only let Lin Ji do as she pleased.

            

Her knees were warmed by Lin Ji’s palms, turning red.

Her thighs were trembling.

Jiang Siyi’s breathing grew even more ragged.

            

She was so tense she curled entirely into Lin Ji’s embrace.

Lin Ji kissed her starting from her ear, to behind her ear, to her neck, to the hollow of her nape.

Bit by bit, soothing her.

            

Soothing her so gently.

Yet the possessiveness hadn’t diminished in the slightest.

Amid murmurs of “so good,” the tension slowly transformed into something unfamiliar.

            

A strange tingling and numbness.

Flickering through her body.

That pure, classical face had been coaxed into an alluring flush.

            

Her eyes lost focus, and lips that were always tightly closed began to beg for mercy.

She begged, then was coaxed with “really so good” into sitting up in Lin Ji’s lap.

Her flushed, slender waist was held captive, impossible to escape.

            

What was this feeling—so foreign it left her dazed.

Jiang Siyi could only wrap her arms around Lin Ji’s neck.

Her knees clamped tight around Lin Ji’s waist.

            

Keeping herself from going limp, from sinking down.

It didn’t look like begging for mercy. It looked far more like begging for more.

No matter what else happened, the kisses never stopped.

            

Scalding breaths mingled in a dizzy haze.

Truthfully, Jiang Siyi couldn’t tell whether she was begging for more or not.

Part of her wondered how her body could change like this.

            

Part of her marveled at how well Lin Ji kissed, how well she held her—so clever that she could easily find places Siyi didn’t even know about, and easily give her everything there.

…

She had wanted so badly for Lin Ji to sleep well, thinking about it every day.

            

She never expected that tonight, the person who ruined Lin Ji’s sleep would be herself.

At midnight, drained of all strength, Jiang Siyi was held by Lin Ji and plummeted straight into sleep, unaware of any point of departure.

In her dreams, Lin Ji’s impossibly beautiful hand was still caressing her body.

            

Leaving finger marks freely across her fair, delicate skin.

And scattered fragments of memories of Lin Ji growing up.

Detours of the past, all dredged up.

            

Back then, Lin Ji had seemed to look at her the same way.

In those lightless black pupils, her silhouette was reflected.

Every hidden thought stored within, also swallowed without a trace…

            

…

When she woke, there was a distinct weight around her waist—Lin Ji’s arms.

The AC was still running, yet it felt hot.

            

Because someone was wrapped around her from behind.

Still, she hadn’t shifted position the entire night.

The difference was that instead of lying flat, she was holding the person in her arms.

            

Her arms were still locked tight, as if afraid she’d run away.

Last night had been so absurd. Remembering her own disheveled state, Jiang Siyi’s heart thumped.

The sheets had been changed at some point—dry, clean, and comfortable.

            

Only, her pink lace…

How had it become a white one of the same style?

Memory suddenly rewound.

            

After the second time, she’d already been too soft to support herself.

Lin Ji had kissed her while coaxing her.

She still had some impression of the silky lace sliding against her skin.

            

Ah.

So Lin Ji had changed it for her.

Even breaths blew against the back of her ear, and the tips of her ears gradually burned red.

            

Her neck flushed too.

She’d never imagined that someone as aloof as Lin Ji would do such a thing.

That immaculate hand of hers would touch there.

            

From kissing to… to that—everything was impossibly skilled.

After all their time together, she’d thought she understood Lin Ji fairly well.

She hadn’t expected that her understanding didn’t even amount to one ten-thousandth of the truth.

            

Her thoughts scattered, wandering far, until her own imaginings left her burning up.

The body heat behind her was palpable, yet she didn’t want to leave so soon. She wanted to keep being held by Lin Ji.

Lin Ji’s embrace had a closeness that grounded her.

            

As if the person behind her could accept no one but her.

In the end, it was the phone alarm that ended everything.

Lin Ji woke too, her embrace loosening. Jiang Siyi reached out to turn off the alarm.

            

After the alarm was silenced, the room was so quiet.

“You…”

Lin Ji was about to say something.

            

Jiang Siyi immediately said, “Good morning.”

Afraid of hearing Lin Ji say something suggestive, she didn’t dare look at the person behind her.

Jiang Siyi pretended nothing had happened, said good morning as usual, then wriggled out of bed to wash up.

            

The moment she stood, her legs went soft—without a shred of strength.

She nearly sat right back down on the bed.

It was Lin Ji who wrapped an arm around her waist and held her up.

            

“Thank you…” Jiang Siyi thanked her, still dizzy.

“I should be the one apologizing.”

She’d gone too far.

            

Siyi had begged for mercy, and she hadn’t let up.

Jiang Siyi didn’t dare hear the rest, mumbling something like “it’s not your fault” before mustering her spirits to go wash up.

Bzzzz—

            

Jiang Siyi stood before the mirror, brushing her teeth.

She couldn’t help checking her neck.

Mm, no visible marks above her collarbones.

            

Despite all the biting and licking, very skillfully nothing had been left behind.

So she wouldn’t have to trouble herself with covering up on a workday.

Below the collarbones, Lin Ji hadn’t been so generous.

            

Tooth marks and red traces interlaced—not painful, but covered in marks.

Marks that she belonged to Lin Ji.

Thinking of last night’s entanglement, her gaze grew slightly unfocused.

            

She and Lin Ji had done something extraordinary last night.

She couldn’t doubt it was a dream—whether it was her neck, her collarbones, or the faint presence somewhere lower—everything told her directly that she hadn’t just crossed the line; she’d let Lin Ji cross her boundaries again and again.

Though in front of Lin Ji, she didn’t seem to have any boundaries to speak of…

            

Her thoughts drifted further and further.

Until she caught Lin Ji’s figure in her peripheral vision and snapped back to attention.

Lin Ji passed behind her, watching her brush her teeth with utmost seriousness, fully invested, as if studying an auction lot.

            

Without a word, she picked up her own toothbrush and stood at the sink beside her, brushing together.

Jiang Siyi washed her face. While wiping away the water droplets, she happened to see Lin Ji rinsing her toothbrush after finishing.

Water clung to her fingertips, droplets catching the light and dripping down.

            

Last night, she had wet Lin Ji’s hands the same way.

Dripping and spilling.

Lin Ji couldn’t hold it all, leaving a wet patch on the sheets.

            

She drew a sharp breath inward. Her red, soft ears had already betrayed her feelings. She quickly wiped her face and left.

Out of well-known embarrassment, Jiang Siyi volunteered to bike to work on her own this morning.

Lin Ji: “If you bike, you might be uncomfortable.”

            

Jiang Siyi: …

Before today, she might not have understood Lin Ji’s implication.

Now, she understood in a second.

            

“It’s fine. Then I’ll walk.”

Seeing that Jiang Siyi was sincere, Lin Ji could only give a soft “Mm.”

Last night had been their first time, and she’d gone a bit too far.

            

No—far too far.

Lin Ji knew it in her heart. She had completely lost control.

Siyi’s nature was reserved. She needed a little time and space to ease into it, to process slowly.

            

Lin Ji: “Be careful on the road.”

“…Okay.”

The early September morning temperature was pleasant. Jiang Siyi let her mind wander the whole way, walking slowly to the office.

            

She ran into Duan Ning at the building entrance.

“Huh, how come my gentle, beautiful, and wealthy Lin Ji-jie isn’t dropping you off today?”

The moment she said it, Duan Ning’s expression froze.

            

They didn’t fight, did they?

Stupid mouth, why ask that, what business is it of yours.

Hearing Lin Ji’s name, Jiang Siyi’s expression flickered slightly.

            

“The weather’s nice today. I wanted to walk.”

Duan Ning went along with it: “Yeah, so nice… huh?”

Her gaze landed on the back of Jiang Siyi’s neck for a moment. Her expression shifted slightly, and she grabbed her.

            

Instead of heading to the elevators, she pulled her toward the first-floor restroom.

Jiang Siyi: “What’s wrong?”

In the restroom, Duan Ning didn’t waste words. She pulled out the makeup bag she always carried and dabbed foundation onto the back of Jiang Siyi’s neck.

            

“What are you doing, coming to work like this? Have some consideration for us single dogs², okay?”

Even without seeing the back of her neck, Jiang Siyi understood immediately.

It was a hickey…

            

That morning, the mirror had only let her check the front—she couldn’t see the back of her neck.

And she’d been avoiding Lin Ji, so Lin Ji hadn’t noticed either, hadn’t been able to remind her.

In the end, one had slipped through.

            

“Thank you…”

Even facing Duan Ning, it was so awkward.

Duan Ning covered the hickey above the little wing tattoo. The shade was slightly darker than Jiang Siyi’s skin, but it would do—not too conspicuous.

            

“What are you thanking me for?” Duan Ning grinned slyly. “Seeing you and Lin Ji-jie so close, I’m relieved. What did I tell you—Lin Ji-jie is good at everything, isn’t she?”

Jiang Siyi couldn’t take it and pinched her arm.

Duan Ning yelped “Ow!”

            

“Okay, okay, no more teasing. Let’s go, go, go, we’ll be late. Lunch is on me—we need to have a good chat, hehehehe.”

---

She’d thought work would be exhausting today, given that last night’s three rounds had nearly pushed her to her limit.

Unexpectedly, apart from some soreness in her waist and legs, she felt energized.

            

Aside from the occasional sudden flashback of a certain presence, nothing was too uncomfortable.

Even colleagues asked why her complexion was so good today.

“Is it?”

            

First time she’d learned it had that effect.

By nearly noon, she finally had a moment to sit down and drink some water.

While drinking, she saw WeChat messages from Lin Ji.

            

Before she’d even finished swallowing, she opened them.

，:【Does it hurt?】

It was a voice message. Held to her ear, Lin Ji’s gentle breathy voice made her ear burn and tickle.

            

The morning had been too busy to check her phone, let alone reply.

Since that unreplied message, every half hour, Lin Ji had sent another WeChat message.

，:【Cat peeking.gif】

            

，:【Dog peeking.gif】

，:【Fox peeking.gif】

，:【Capybara peeking.gif】

            

“Cough…”

Jiang Siyi nearly choked on her water.

She felt surrounded by countless Lin Jis in different forms.

            

An uncontrollable smile crept to her lips. Jiang Siyi leaned back in her chair, thought for a moment, and replied:

【I was too busy this morning to check WeChat. It doesn’t hurt…】

Whoosh—

            

One minute after she sent the message, Lin Ji replied.

，:【So it feels good?】

Jiang Siyi: …

            

“Feels good” meant “comfortable”… right?

How was anyone supposed to answer that?

And she asked as if she were being perfectly serious.

            

Jiang Siyi’s face was burning. But she couldn’t not reply—she didn’t want to leave Lin Ji hanging, especially after ignoring her all morning.

While Jiang Siyi was still deliberating, her phone buzzed.

Lin Ji had answered her own question.

            

，:【Miss Loose Toast has confirmed by default.】

Jiang Siyi: .

She could perfectly imagine Lin Ji wearing an inscrutable smile as she sent that message.

            

Before she could even protest, another message came in.

，:【See you tonight.】

See you tonight.

            

Three words that spawned endless associations.

Cradling her phone in both hands, huddled in a corner secretly reading her wife’s WeChat, Jiang Siyi’s imagination ran wild—she completely forgot to protest.

The tips of both ears were bright red.

            

Like her favorite strawberries.

---

The author has something to say:

Lin Ji: Wife-pampering step 28, those who know, know 2.0

            

---