The Princess’ Shadow Guard – Chapter 15
by Little PandaThe Hardest Thing to Find is a Good Match (Heavily Revised Crown Prince POV in the Second Half)
In the quiet room, the only sounds were the occasional rustle of Murong Yan turning a page and Ming Qin’s soft snoring.
Pillowed on Murong Yan’s lap, Ming Qin slept deeply with her eyes closed, her hands resting properly and obediently on her stomach.
Today was the Heir of Marquis Changping’s… No, he should be called Marquis Changping now.
Today was the full-moon celebration for Marquis Changping’s eldest legitimate son. The Eleventh Prince had gone to congratulate them on behalf of the imperial family instead of going to the Imperial Academy, so Ming Qin naturally got a day off as well.
So Marquis Changping already has a child, Murong Yan thought.
Had her mother not passed away and had she not lost her leg, she would likely have married Marquis Changping long ago and given birth to their child.
Aside from a faint sigh for the passage of time and the impermanence of the world, Murong Yan felt no ripples of emotion in her heart.
She harbored no lingering affection whatsoever for that shy youth she had once met at a poetry gathering.
A man she had met only twice, who had swiftly broken off their engagement after she lost her leg—it was truly impossible to harbor any special feelings for him.
That it was only human nature was true; that it was chillingly cold-hearted was also true.
She did not resent him. After all, the hardest thing to find in this world was a good match1.
During the imperial hunt, the assassin’s blade aimed at the Emperor had not only severed her leg, but had also severed an engagement that had lasted for five whole years.
Clean and swift, with nothing left to yearn for.
A man of such shallow affection was better off discarded anyway.
Looking down at the woman resting on her lap, Murong Yan composed her thoughts.
From childhood to adulthood, she had met thousands, if not tens of thousands, of people. Because of her status as a Commandery Princess2, some had been obsequiously flattering, while others had been humbly submissive.
But when it came to someone who was good to her to the point of foolishness, Ming Qin was truly the only one.
The person in her lap suddenly let out a soft hum, turning over as one of her hands slipped off the couch.
Her slightly loosened collar revealed a patch of snow-white skin on her chest, catching Murong Yan’s gaze for a long moment before she reached out to pull the robes back together.
Feeling the movement on her body, Ming Qin blinked her eyes open.
“Did I wake you, Ah Qin?” Murong Yan asked, her brow furrowing slightly with apology.
“No,” Ming Qin replied, yawning as she sat up. “I was dreaming of something strange anyway. It is just as well that I woke.”
“Oh? What was it?” Murong Yan was somewhat curious.
“It was about being abandoned when I was little,” Ming Qin recalled, rolling her neck. “The lake water felt freezing cold, and my lungs ached terribly.”
Murong Yan reached out to touch Ming Qin’s cheek. “Do not think about it anymore, Ah Qin. I will not ask.”
She had heard Ming Qin mention it in passing once before. At the time, she had not paid it much mind, but hearing it again today, she felt her heart ache.
“It is fine. I was so young then, I do not actually remember any of it.”
Ming Qin patted Murong Yan’s hand reassuringly. “After Master picked me up, he sent me to Yelan Court to train with the other young Shadow Guard recruits. For as long as I can remember, I have been at Yelan Court. The Shadow Guard Camp is like a home to me. I am quite content with it.”
Murong Yan knew how brutal the work of a Shadow Guard was and had heard Ming Qin describe their training. She could not bring herself to agree with Ming Qin viewing the Shadow Guard Camp as a home.
“It was only during training one day, when we discovered I hated lake water and could not learn how to swim no matter how hard I tried, that Master finally told me how he had found me,” Ming Qin continued. Then, she hesitated, tilting her head as she thought of the Eleventh Prince, Murong Wan, from a few days ago.
“Though, sometimes I do get curious about what it feels like to actually have a father and mother.”
Ming Qin told Murong Yan about everything that had happened at the Imperial Academy that day. “The Eleventh Prince was so angry when they insulted his mother that he cried. I did not even know how to comfort him.”
She scratched her head and looked at Murong Yan. “Most of the people in the Shadow Guard Camp do not have parents either, so I did not know who to ask. If someone insulted your parents, would you cry too?”
Looking at her puzzled expression, Murong Yan felt her mouth go dry.
After a moment of thought, she cleared her throat and said, “My father was an ever-victorious general, but a weak father and husband. So if someone insulted him, I would probably only find it satisfying.” She gave a bitter smile.
“But my mother was a very, very good person.”
Murong Yan paused and took a deep breath. “I still remember how she would always lull me to sleep at night with her gentle, soft voice. She was a bit scatterbrained, but she played the zither beautifully. Even though she was born in the warm Jiangnan3, she was willing to move to the Northern Borders for the sake of her children.”
Her voice faltered for a moment, and then she said softly, “So I think, if someone were to humiliate her, I would probably harbor murderous intent.”
“So, a mother is such a good thing. I think I understand now.”
Ming Qin nodded with half-baked comprehension. “In that case, I had better give those bad people who insulted the Eleventh Prince’s mother a good thrashing.”
Looking at Ming Qin, Murong Yan spoke with a trace of bitterness in her voice, “You are better off not understanding.”
Life was already bitter enough. To understand would only invite more sorrow. Besides…
“Ah Qin, tell me more about what else has been happening in the Capital,” Murong Yan said, shifting the subject.
Ming Qin thought nothing of it and began to babble on about various happenings in the Capital—from things as small as whose dog had gone missing, to things as large as what cases the Court of Judicial Review4 was currently investigating.
Murong Yan looked at Ming Qin’s earnest face and thought.
Your heart does not need to hold too much.
Not parents, nor princes, nor even the Emperor.
It is enough as long as I am in your heart.
The Crown Prince’s Eastern Palace.
Murong Xiao was uncharacteristically gentle.
(The Crown Prince was preparing to do the things this green website does not allow me to write. I have already revised this part at least six times, yet it keeps getting locked.)
(The Crown Prince hasn’t even done anything yet, but the woman in front of him is already on the verge of tears. (I am also close to crying from having to delete so much.))
Murong Xiao’s eyes were dark and sinister as he looked at the woman before him, whose face bore a seventy-percent resemblance to the beautiful silhouette in his dreams. “She would never show a cowardly expression.”
Terrified, the woman clamped her mouth shut, struggling to suppress the raw fear in her heart.
She knew that the person in His Highness the Crown Prince’s heart would never exhibit such emotions.
Only by resembling her more closely could she survive longer.
Seeing the woman adjust her demeanor, Murong Xiao finally nodded in satisfaction.
“Jiejie, Jiejie.”
(The Crown Prince is already a twenty-five-year-old adult, so he did what this green website does not allow.)
His gaze was ruthless as he took deep breaths, straining to keep himself under control.
(The Crown Prince’s self-control is too poor—used too much force and almost strangled the lady. (Look, you can even learn English by reading my work! Please do not lock me again.))
Before he possessed Jiejie, he had to endure.
Murong Xiao’s heart felt as though it were scorched by fire, making him incredibly irritable.
He wanted so badly to rush over right now, to see what kind of expression his normally cold Jiejie would make as she yielded before him.
Would she be as cold and indifferent as she was on ordinary days?
Or would she be as gentle and charming as a woman of Jiangnan?
Or perhaps as gorgeously radiant as a blooming flower, just like when they had first met?
The more he thought, the more excited he became. Murong Xiao could not stop himself from laughing aloud.
“Jiejie is this prince’s.”
She could only be this prince’s.
The author has something to say:
I have been locked so many times because of this annoying Crown Prince, I am so mad! (What I hate most is that they clearly let me pass at the very beginning, but after I merely fixed a typo, they locked me! I am never fixing a typo again!)
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I really didn’t write anything explicit, yet they keep blocking me from posting. Now I am starting to worry about what will happen to the interactions between the Shadow Guard and the Commandery Princess later on… (I want to cry so badly, it feels so helpless. It is clearly a sweet story, yet I can’t post any sugar!)
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I don’t know how to use Weibo either! Being locked like this from morning to night is really demoralizing. I worked on this from 5:00 AM to 4:00 PM UK time.
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I deleted some details and a large section of the Crown Prince’s psychological monologue. In short, the Crown Prince is someone who would be diagnosed by modern psychologists with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder.
I highly recommend that if you encounter this type of person, you try your best to avoid them if you are not professionally trained.
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I was originally considering whether to write a second book after finishing this one, because there are currently three stories constantly playing in my head, shouting, “Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!” It has given me insomnia for a long time.
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But this current state of affairs is truly heartbreaking!
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Even though this sounds very negative, don’t worry—I currently have a hundred thousand words of drafts saved up, so this book will definitely be completed!
I probably just need a little bit of love and warmth~
Footnotes
- Liángrén is an ancient Chinese term that literally means 'good person,' historically used as a poetic or classical term for a spouse, most commonly a husband.
- Jùnzhǔ is a noble title in imperial China, usually granted to the daughter of a prince of the first rank.
- Jiangnan is a traditional geographic region of China located south of the lower reaches of the Yangtze River, famous for its mild climate, canals, and rich culture.
- The Court of Judicial Review (Dali Si) was a high imperial government office in traditional China responsible for supreme judicial review.
Chinese censorship is annoying but it shouldn’t be this bad I don’t think? I’ve read Chinese novels with fairly explicit scenes though never outright smut. The Koreans though lol.
It really sucks that one of the countries with the most ridiculous censorship rules is the one whose gl novels I’m addicted to reading. Fuck China and their censorship
just wanted to add to TL:
if the source of the confusion is that the crown prince calls Murong Yan “Elder Sister”. I checked the original text and it seems he’s using 姐姐 which is translated to “jiejie”. This is an honorific. its often used for girls/women who are slightly older than the speaker and not a whole seniority above. its a bit more automatic between siblings though there are also other honorifics between siblings but it can also be used for relatives or close friends or even people you work with. it can be used whether blood related or not or if you consider family or not. its supposed to indicate a degree of intimacy if someone can call someone else like that.
the crown prince wants to be intimate with his cousin so instead of using the term for a cousin of her level which would indicate a certain distance he uses jiejie to show closeness and intimacy.
*my understanding is from the rough explanation of my friend on chinese honorifics I can’t read most pinyin but jiejie shows up often enough in texts
anyway thanks TL for taking this up and making it easily understandable!
I’m still in doubt who the crown prince is. Is he the princess’s brother? Like son of the same father? Why if he is the crown prince, wouldn’t he have to be the emperor’s son? And since the emperor is the princess’s uncle, wouldn’t the crown prince be her cousin? I’m still confused about parentage.
Basically, Murong Yan and the Crown Prince are cousins since Murong Yan’s father, Prince Yu, is the Emperor’s brother, and the Crown Prince’s father is the Emperor.
I just want to say, thank you for taking the time to translate the story! I’m really enjoying it so far, and I really like the main leads interactions so much!
Thank you for the chapter! And the crown prince is truly disgusting.