After Being Scummed – Chapter 10

by Little Panda

The mockery on Zuo Jingyou’s face pierced through He Zhiwen’s already thin skin. He Zhiwen looked uncomfortable², running a hand through his hair, his expression troubled. “I know I let you down badly, but that was me letting you down. It has nothing to do with him.”

He Zhiwen sighed, his face full of guilt. “I was the one who broke my promise, who cheated first. I was the one who fell in love with someone else, the one whose heart moved first…”

He Zhiwen looked at Zuo Jingyou earnestly, full of remorse. “But Jingyou, he’s innocent. I can’t… let him bear this bad reputation because of my mistake.”

“Anyway, we’re already divorced, so just help me out, okay? Think of it as a collaboration. Aren’t you preparing a new movie? I can invest in it, taking only a very small share of the profits… As long as you can… you can…”

Zuo Jingyou took a step back, leaning against the wall, watching him coolly, her expression mocking. “I can what? I don’t lack money, nor do I need your help.”

“He Zhiwen, since you were capable of cheating during our marriage, why can’t you go out there and take all the blame for him?”

Faced with her cold, sarcastic attitude, He Zhiwen’s tone grew urgent. “Jingyou, don’t say that. You know the difficulties involved, I can’t…”

Zuo Jingyou shot him a glance, her eyes filled with cold light. “Can’t what? Can’t admit you cheated? It would affect your upcoming movie release? Or should I say, can’t admit he interfered in someone else’s relationship, because it would affect his career path and public image?”³

Even during the divorce, He Zhiwen had never seen Zuo Jingyou look so aggressive. He anxiously scratched his head, his tone slightly sharp. “How… how can you say that? How can you be so harsh?”

“Me, harsh?” Zuo Jingyou scoffed, tilting her chin up slightly, her eyes full of derision. “He Zhiwen, I asked you back today to see Tongtong, not to listen to how you plan to salvage your new lover’s reputation.”

“Go back. Regarding this matter, I will only clarify what ought to be clarified. I won’t do anything extra.”

He Zhiwen suddenly became annoyed, his face flushing as he raised his voice. “Jingyou! How can you be so heartless? How can you just stand by and watch someone suffer?”

Zuo Jingyou froze for a moment. She scrutinized the familiar yet strange man before her, saying incredulously, “Me, heartless? Me, standing by and watching someone suffer? He Zhiwen, you need to get it straight—is it my fault that you two ended up like this today?”

He Zhiwen stomped his foot hard on the spot, somewhat flustered and exasperated. “It’s my problem! It’s my fault! But Jingyou, you can’t be so devoid of fellow feeling!”

“Yes!” He Zhiwen raised his voice, speaking shamelessly⁴, “I was terribly wrong, but you have to understand, you and I separated because I stopped loving you!”

“All you lost was a husband who didn’t love you. But if he loses me—what he loses is a sincere love!”

Hearing such a Qiong Yao-esque⁵ line come out of her ex-husband’s mouth, Zuo Jingyou shuddered, leaning slightly against the wall, staring at him in disbelief.

How could he… How could he say something so shameless?

Meanwhile, neither of the arguing pair noticed a figure leaning on cane appear around the nearby corner. But upon hearing that sentence, this person also took a step back, hiding behind the corner wall, their face filled with disbelief.

Yin Bai, leaning on her cane against the wall, heard He Zhiwen’s exasperated voice continuing unabated. “Now that his career has hit a snag, shouldn’t I step in to help him? There’s no love left between us, but can’t we still talk about friendship, talk about benefits? Zuo Jingyou, calm down a bit, analyze the situation, okay?”

“If you come forward and clarify things, it benefits you, me, and him!”

Hearing these lines, she felt her secondhand embarrassment acting up⁶. Heavens, how had she never realized He Zhiwen had the talent for writing Qiong Yao scripts? What kind of unbelievable lines⁷ were these?

What did he mean, you lost a husband, he’ll lose love?

What did he mean, there’s no love between us, but we can talk about benefits?

Wasn’t this a case of you unilaterally cheating? How can you be so self-righteous?

Yin Bai hadn’t lived this long without seeing such thick-skinned people before, but this was the first time she’d been so shocked by someone this thick-skinned.

When she first saw the scandal, she only thought He Zhiwen’s wrongdoing was cheating. Now, it seemed He Zhiwen had something wrong with his brain.

He definitely had something wrong, right?

If not, how could he abandon his wife and child, how could he break faith, how could he say such shameless things?

Yin Bai was stunned. For the first time in her life, she did something impolite. She peeked her head out slightly, secretly observing the two former lovers confronting each other in the corridor.

In the deep, long corridor, Zuo Jingyou leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking at He Zhiwen, her eyes slightly red. Her lips trembled slightly. After struggling to hold back several times, tears glistening in her eyes, she cursed out, “You… You’re insane!”⁸

Zuo Jingyou didn’t seem very practiced at cursing. After getting that out, she took a deep breath, pointed towards the elevator, and said, unable to bear it any longer, “Leave. He Zhiwen, just leave.”

“Regarding this matter, I will not agree to your request! I will never trade my feelings for benefits!”

Zuo Jingyou raised a hand to cover her lips, her voice tinged with tears. “Yes, you don’t love me anymore, but did you ever ask me if I still love you! How could you say something so cruel?”

Standing hidden in the shadows, Yin Bai shuddered when she heard this sentence, looking at Zuo Jingyou’s tearful, restrained appearance.

What a pitiful woman…

In that moment, through Zuo Jingyou’s disheveled state, Yin Bai seemed to see herself.

Standing before Zuo Jingyou, the emotionally agitated He Zhiwen also suddenly looked up, meeting a pair of tearful, restrained eyes, and was momentarily stunned.

Right… he had never considered this question. He just assumed that after he had done something so awful, the proud Zuo Jingyou would definitely have hardened her heart and let him go.

He hadn’t expected… hadn’t expected…

He Zhiwen glanced up at her, then quickly lowered his head again, his eyes reddening too. He mumbled, “I’m sorry…”

“In the future, I won’t… I won’t…”

Won’t what? Won’t say such things again? But the damage was already done, how could it be mended?

Could a broken mirror be made whole again? Of course not. He had already decided to leave his family for Lin Xiao, how could he possibly come back?

He Zhiwen scratched his hair in frustration, turning away somewhat dejectedly. “You take good care of Tongtong. I’m leaving. I’ll handle this matter myself, I won’t trouble you again.”

After saying this, He Zhiwen hurried away.

Yin Bai, hiding behind the corner, watched He Zhiwen approach her direction as if fleeing in disarray. She quickly propped herself up on her cane, lowered her gaze pretending to be a passerby, and holding the bag in her hand, walked forward with the tap-tap-tap of her cane.

Soon, the red-eyed He Zhiwen brushed past Yin Bai. In that instant, the hastily departing He Zhiwen didn’t see Yin Bai look up and cast a subtle, contemptuous glance his way.

Hmph, men!

Yin Bai walked out from the corner on her cane. As she looked up, her eyes immediately fell on Zuo Jingyou, still standing in the corridor.

Zuo Jingyou had her back to her, one hand braced against the wall, tilting her head up to pinch the bridge of her nose, slowly blinking back the tears in her eyes.

Seeing her like this, Yin Bai hesitated, wondering whether to turn around, pretend she hadn’t seen anything, and leave quietly. But just as she lifted her leg to go, Zuo Jingyou, pinching the space between her brows, turned to look at her.

Yin Bai looked up and unexpectedly met a pair of misty, tear-filled eyes. She froze on the spot.

Oh crap… I’ve been discovered, can’t escape now!

Thinking this, Yin Bai, leaning on her cane, offered the woman before her an awkward yet polite smile. “Hehe… Ms. Zuo…”

Zuo Jingyou was taken aback. “Director Yin?”

Yin Bai leaned on her crutch with one hand and held a bag in the other. Seeing the tear stains still on Zuo Jingyou’s face, she looked extremely awkward. But she was habitually able to act as if nothing had happened. So, she squeezed out a smile and said, somewhat embarrassed, “Um… Ms. Zuo, is Tongtong doing okay?”

After speaking, she lifted the bag in her hand and said in a muffled, slightly strained voice, “I have a bad cold, came to the hospital for a check-up, and… just happened to bring a few storybooks for Tongtong.”

Actually, after going back yesterday, Yin Bai had been thinking all night about her own embarrassing situation. Tossing and turning, unable to sleep, she ended up catching a bad cold. She could have just taken medicine at home, but then Yin Bai remembered the neighbor’s child was still hospitalized because she had fallen after being scared by her, and felt a bit guilty. So, Yin Bai brought a few books as an apology gift, intending to visit while the adults weren’t around.

Who knew it would be such a coincidence, stumbling upon He Zhiwen and Zuo Jingyou arguing? Yin Bai wasn’t really interested in other people’s affairs, but bumping into such a scene, she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for Zuo Jingyou.

But Zuo Jingyou was a more mature and composed adult than she was. Hearing Yin Bai’s words, she turned slightly, wiped away the tears with her back to Yin Bai, managed a smile, and walked towards her. “Director Yin, you’re too kind. Thank you so much.”

Yin Bai pressed her lips together, finding it somewhat difficult to say, “You’re welcome.”

Watching Zuo Jingyou walk towards her, she handed over the bag of storybooks she was carrying. “Here, please take these inside for her. Just consider them a gift from me.”

Zuo Jingyou took the books, looking surprised. “Director Yin, aren’t you going in to see Tongtong?” Although Zuo Jingyou had heard Tongtong’s description, and the two children weren’t very familiar with Yin Bai, it seemed the kids got along well with her.

Yin Bai sniffled and quickly waved her hand. “No, no, no, I have a bad cold, I shouldn’t go in.”

Yin Bai lowered her gaze, looking at Zuo Jingyou’s red-rimmed eyes, long lashes still beaded with tears. She suddenly recalled the handkerchief Zuo Jingyou had offered her that night, thinking that they really were members of the Broken Hearts Club Alliance.

Yin Bai, who usually disliked interacting with unfamiliar adults, took the handkerchief folded in her shirt’s breast pocket and offered it over. “By the way, there’s this…”

Zuo Jingyou looked up, regarding her with some confusion.

Yin Bai pressed her lips together, saying somewhat sheepishly, “If you go see the child looking like this, she’ll notice. Wipe your eyes…”

Zuo Jingyou paused, subconsciously raising her hand to wipe her own tears. Yin Bai quickly stopped her, pressing the handkerchief into her hand, saying flusteredly, “Children… are very sensitive. If their mother is sad, they sense it immediately…”

“You… calm down first.”

Zuo Jingyou looked at the handkerchief in her palm, nodded, turned slightly away, and gently dabbed the excess tears with her back to Yin Bai.

Yin Bai stood beside her, watching her tilt her head slightly back, her long hair cascading like a waterfall over her shoulders as she dabbed away the remaining tears. A wave of empathetic sadness washed over Yin Bai.

Those who are abandoned always feel terrible pain.

But she had never comforted anyone before, nor did she know how. Yin Bai thought for a moment, took out her phone, opened her playlist, and said to Zuo Jingyou beside her, “Actually… there’s no need to be too sad. It… it’ll pass eventually.”

Zuo Jingyou turned her head, looking at her with some surprise.

Was she trying to comfort her?

Yin Bai met her gaze and smiled slightly. “Let me play a song for you.” Seeing as Zuo Jingyou was the mother of her little next-door neighbor, Yin Bai decided to offer some comfort.

As she spoke, Yin Bai pressed a button, and under Zuo Jingyou’s astonished gaze, played an exceptionally cheerful tune: “She always just leaves a phone number…”

Hearing this old, nostalgic melody, Zuo Jingyou paused for a moment, then couldn’t help but curve her lips and let out a chuckle.

Broken Hearts Club Alliance, what on earth was this…

As Zuo Jingyou thought this, she looked up at Yin Bai with a smile, but when she lowered her gaze again, tears uncontrollably dripped down like large pearls. Seemingly realizing her loss of composure, Zuo Jingyou quickly raised her hand to cover her face, silently letting the tears flow.

Yin Bai, who had relaxed slightly upon seeing her smile, instantly felt her brain crash⁹ the moment she saw the tears.

Oh crap, looks like I messed up!

Yin Bai panicked, completely at a loss¹⁰. She quickly stopped the music, looked at Zuo Jingyou who was now covering her face, and hurriedly apologized, “Um… uh… I’m sorry… I…”

She was flustered, not at all like an adult, more like a child facing an emotional breakdown, utterly helpless. Zuo Jingyou kept her face covered, tears flowing even more fiercely, seemingly beyond control.

Her voice trembling, she said apologetically, “I… I’m sorry too, Director Yin… I lost my composure…”

“I don’t know why either…”

She had clearly told herself she would endure it, clearly decided not to cry, yet in front of a well-meaning stranger, she couldn’t hold back the tears.

Zuo Jingyou kept her face covered, looking down and saying softly, “I don’t know why either…”

Perhaps because Yin Bai seemed like a child, or perhaps because the emotions pent up for so long had finally found an outlet, Zuo Jingyou spoke uncontrollably, “I thought if I just did well enough, there wouldn’t be any problems in the marriage. But I discovered, just me doing well alone isn’t enough…”

Suddenly hearing such a confession, Yin Bai stood rooted to the spot, looking at the helpless woman hiding her face before her, inevitably thinking again of when she herself was abandoned by Xiao Nian.

Yin Bai looked at Zuo Jingyou, murmuring to herself, as if speaking to Zuo Jingyou, yet also as if speaking to herself, “Ah… I understand, I understand…”

“It clearly wasn’t my fault, yet I always wonder if I did something wrong. Why does she love her, but not me?”

“Is it because… I wasn’t good enough somewhere?”

The author has something to say:

The last part of the dialogue between Yin Bai and Zuo Jingyou adapts lines from 《In the Mood for Love》.¹¹

The two of them share a similar kind of love [story/pain], finding warmth in each other. Of course, it’s impossible for them to have feelings for each other right now, but! We have little angel Tongtong!

Much later, Yin Bai: He Zhiwen, your wife is mine, and your daughter is mine too!

(Feeling great)

Same old rules, leave a comment, fifty lucky readers will get a red envelope.

LP: Re-translated on April 27, 2025

Footnotes

失恋阵线联盟 | Shīliàn Zhènxiàn Liánméng | “Broken Hearts Club Alliance,” title of a popular 1990s Taiwanese pop song by Grasshopper.
脸上有些挂不住 | liǎn shàng yǒuxiē guà bu zhù | Lit. “unable to hang it on the face”; means to feel embarrassed or unable to maintain one’s composure/save face.
路人口碑 | lùrén kǒubēi | Lit. “passerby word-of-mouth”; refers to public perception or reputation among the general populace, especially online.
厚颜无耻 | hòu yán wú chǐ | Lit. “thick face, no shame”; Brazen, shameless, impudent.
琼瑶 | Qióng Yáo | Taiwanese novelist/producer known for highly dramatic, often melodramatic and cliché-filled romance stories. “Qiong Yao-esque” implies overly dramatic or cheesy dialogue.
尴尬癌 | gāngà’ái | Lit. “embarrassment cancer”; internet slang for feeling extreme secondhand embarrassment or cringe.
神仙台词 | shénxiān táicí | Lit. “immortal lines/dialogue”; internet slang praising lines as amazing, incredible, or unbelievably good/bad/dramatic.
神经病 | shénjīngbìng | Lit. “nervous system illness”; Common insult meaning “crazy,” “insane,” “out of your mind.” While literally referring to mental illness, it’s often used colloquially as a strong insult implying irrational or unacceptable behavior.
宕机 | dàngjī | Lit. “crash” (computer); used metaphorically here to mean froze up/mind went blank.
手足无措 | shǒu zú wú cuò | Lit. “hands and feet have no place to go”; To be at a loss, not knowing what to do; flustered.
《花样年华》 | Huāyàng Niánhuá | “In the Mood for Love,” acclaimed 2000 film by Wong Kar-wai, known for its themes of unspoken feelings, missed connections, and shared loneliness between characters whose spouses are having an affair with each other.

Footnotes

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