After Being Scummed – Chapter 10
by Little PandaBroken Hearts Alliance!
The mockery on Zuo Jingyou’s face pierced through He Zhiwen’s already paper-thin skin. He struggled to maintain composure, clutching his hair, and said in distress, “I know I wronged you terribly. But that’s my fault—it has nothing to do with him.”
He Zhiwen sighed, his face full of guilt. “I broke my promise. I had the affair first. I fell in love with someone else. I was the first to fall…”
He Zhiwen looked at Zuo Jingyou with guilty sincerity. “But Jingyou, he’s innocent. I can’t… let him bear the blame for my mistakes.”
“Anyway, we’re already divorced. Can’t you just help out? Think of it as a collaboration. Aren’t you preparing a new film? I can invest in it, take only a small share… As long as you… you can…”
Zuo Jingyou stepped back, leaning against the wall, and looked at him coldly, her expression mocking. “I can what? I don’t need money, and I don’t need your help.”
“He Zhiwen, since you could cheat during our marriage, why can’t you go out there and take the blame for him yourself?”
Faced with her cold, mocking attitude, He Zhiwen’s tone grew urgent. “Jingyou, don’t say that. You know how complicated this is. I can’t…”
Zuo Jingyou shot him a glance, her eyes full of cold light. “Can’t what? Can’t admit you cheated? Would it affect your upcoming film? Or can’t you admit that he inserted himself into someone else’s relationship—would that damage his career and public reputation?”
Even during their divorce, He Zhiwen had never seen Zuo Jingyou this aggressive. He grabbed his hair anxiously, his tone slightly frantic. “How… how can you say that? How can you be so harsh?”
“Me, harsh?” Zuo Jingyou scoffed, lifting her chin slightly, her eyes brimming with mockery. “He Zhiwen, I called you back today so you could see Tongtong—not to hear how you plan to salvage your new lover’s reputation.”
“Go home. I’ll clarify only what needs to be clarified. I won’t do anything beyond that.”
He Zhiwen’s temper flared. His face turned red and his voice rose. “Jingyou! How can you be so heartless? How can you just stand by and watch him suffer?”
Zuo Jingyou froze for a moment. She studied the man before her—both familiar and strange—and said in disbelief, “Me, heartless? I’m standing by while he suffers? He Zhiwen, let’s get something straight: is what happened your fault or mine?”
He Zhiwen stomped his foot hard, growing incensed. “It’s my fault! My mistake! But Jingyou, you can’t be this ruthless!”
“Yes!” He Zhiwen raised his voice and said shamelessly, “I was completely in the wrong. But you have to understand—you and I split up because I stopped loving you!”
“All you lost was a husband who didn’t love you. He lost me—he lost true love!”
When Zuo Jingyou heard her ex-husband utter such a Qiong Yao-style1 line, her whole body jolted. She leaned back against the wall, staring at him in disbelief.
How could he… how could he say something so shameless?
At the same time, neither person in the argument noticed a figure with a cane appear around the corner. Upon hearing that line, the figure likewise stepped back, pressing against the wall behind the corner, face full of disbelief.
Yin Bai, leaning on her cane against the wall, could hear He Zhiwen’s frantic voice carrying continuously: “His career is in trouble right now—shouldn’t I step in to help him? There’s no love between us anymore, but can’t we at least talk about goodwill and mutual benefit? Zuo Jingyou, calm down and look at the situation, okay?”
“If you come out and clarify, it benefits you, me, and him!”
Hearing this dialogue, her cringe cancer2 flared up in full force. Good heavens, how had she never noticed He Zhiwen’s talent for writing Qiong Yao scripts? What kind of divine dialogue was this?
“All you lost was a husband, he lost love”—what kind of logic was that?
“There’s no love between us anymore, but we can talk about mutual benefit”—what did he think this was?
Wasn’t this just him unilaterally cheating? How could he be so self-righteous about it?
In all her years, it wasn’t the first time Yin Bai had seen someone this thick-skinned, but it was the first time she’d been genuinely shocked by one.
When she’d first seen the scandal, she’d thought He Zhiwen’s only crime was the affair. Now it seemed to her that He Zhiwen was simply out of his mind.
He had to be, right?
If he wasn’t sick in the head, how could he abandon his wife and child, break his promises, and say such shameless things?
Yin Bai, stunned, did something rude for the first time in her life. She peeked out slightly, watching from the shadows as the two former lovers confronted each other in the corridor.
In the dim, deep hallway, Zuo Jingyou leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking at He Zhiwen with reddened eyes. Her lips trembled. After several attempts to hold back, tears glinting in her eyes, she finally spat out, “You… you’re out of your mind.”
Zuo Jingyou didn’t seem practiced at cursing people out. After saying that, she took a deep breath, pointed toward the elevator, and said with barely contained fury, “Leave. He Zhiwen, just leave.”
“I won’t agree to this. I will never trade my feelings for profit!”
Zuo Jingyou raised a hand to cover her lips, her voice thick with tears. “That’s right, you don’t love me anymore. But you never once asked whether I still love you. How could you… say something so cruel?”
Standing in the shadows, Yin Bai heard those words and looked at Zuo Jingyou—tearful, barely holding herself together—and her whole body jolted.
What a pitiful woman…
In that moment, through Zuo Jingyou’s anguish, Yin Bai seemed to see herself.
Standing before Zuo Jingyou, the emotionally worked-up He Zhiwen suddenly looked up as well and met those tear-filled, restrained eyes. He froze.
That’s right… he had never considered this. He had simply assumed that after he’d done something so terrible, the proud Zuo Jingyou would have moved on without a second thought.
He hadn’t expected… hadn’t expected…
He Zhiwen looked up at her for a moment, then quickly lowered his head, his own eyes growing red. He mumbled, “I’m sorry…”
“From now on, I won’t… I won’t…”
Won’t what? Won’t say such things again? But the damage was already done—how could it be repaired?
Could a broken mirror3 be made whole? Of course not. He had already decided to leave his family for Lin Xiao—how could he possibly come back?
He Zhiwen grabbed his hair in frustration, then turned around with a touch of loneliness. “Take good care of Tongtong. I’m leaving. I’ll handle this matter myself. I won’t trouble you again.”
With that, He Zhiwen hurried away.
Hidden around the corner, Yin Bai watched He Zhiwen hurrying toward her as if fleeing. She quickly straightened up with her cane, lowered her eyes to play the part of a passing stranger, and walked forward, bag in hand, cane tapping tap tap tap against the floor.
Soon, the red-eyed He Zhiwen brushed past her. In that moment, the hurrying He Zhiwen didn’t notice Yin Bai glance up at him, her eyes carrying a veiled, contemptuous look.
Hah, men!
Yin Bai rounded the corner on her cane and, looking up, immediately spotted Zuo Jingyou still standing in the corridor.
Zuo Jingyou had her back to her, one hand braced against the wall, head tilted up as she pinched the bridge of her nose, slowly blinking away the tears in her eyes.
Seeing her like that, Yin Bai hesitated over whether to turn around, pretend she’d seen nothing, and slip away quietly. But just as she lifted her foot to leave, Zuo Jingyou, still pinching the bridge of her nose, turned to look her way.
Yin Bai raised her head and unexpectedly met a pair of misty, tear-filled eyes. She froze on the spot.
This was bad… she’d been spotted. No way to run!
With that thought, Yin Bai leaned on her cane and offered the woman before her an awkward but polite smile. “Heh… Miss Zuo…”
Zuo Jingyou was taken aback. “Chairman Yin?”
Yin Bai stood with one hand on her cane and the other holding a bag. Seeing the tear traces still on Zuo Jingyou’s face, she looked thoroughly uncomfortable. But she’d always been good at pretending nothing was wrong, so she squeezed out a smile and said somewhat sheepishly, “Um… Miss Zuo, how is Tongtong?”
She lifted the bag in her hand and said, her voice muffled and slightly strained, “I have a bad cold, came to the hospital to see a doctor, and… figured I’d bring Tongtong a few storybooks while I was here.”
In truth, after going home yesterday, Yin Bai had spent the whole night thinking about her own embarrassing situation, tossing and turning until she’d caught a chill and come down with a heavy cold. She could have just taken medicine at home, but then she remembered that the neighbor’s child was still hospitalized because she’d frightened her into falling. Feeling guilty, she’d grabbed a few books to bring as an apology gift, planning to visit when the adults weren’t around.
Who could have known she’d run right into He Zhiwen and Zuo Jingyou arguing? Yin Bai wasn’t particularly interested in other people’s business, but stumbling onto such a scene, she couldn’t help feeling embarrassed on Zuo Jingyou’s behalf.
But Zuo Jingyou, being the more mature and composed adult, turned sideways and quickly wiped away her tears, then managed a smile and walked toward Yin Bai. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Chairman Yin. Thank you.”
Yin Bai pressed her lips together and said with some difficulty, “You’re welcome.”
She looked at Zuo Jingyou approaching and held out the bag of storybooks. “Here, could you take these in for her? Consider them a gift from me.”
Zuo Jingyou took the books, looking surprised. “You’re not going in to see Tongtong, Chairman Yin?” Though from what Tongtong had described, the two children weren’t close with Yin Bai, it seemed they got along well with her.
Yin Bai sniffled and quickly waved her hand. “No, no, no. I have a bad cold. I shouldn’t go in.”
Yin Bai lowered her gaze, taking in Zuo Jingyou’s red-rimmed eyes and the teardrops still clinging to her long lashes. She suddenly recalled the handkerchief Zuo Jingyou had given her that night, and thought: so they really were both members of the Broken Hearts Alliance4.
Yin Bai, who never liked dealing with unfamiliar adults, reached into her shirt breast pocket, pulled out her folded handkerchief, and offered it. “Oh, and this…”
Zuo Jingyou looked up, a little puzzled.
Yin Bai pressed her lips together and said, somewhat self-conscious, “If you go in to see the child looking like that, she’ll notice. Here, wipe your face…”
Zuo Jingyou froze for a moment, then instinctively raised a hand to wipe her own tears. Yin Bai stopped her quickly, pressing the handkerchief into her hand, and said nervously, “Children… are very sensitive. If Mama is sad, she’ll pick up on it right away…”
“You… take a moment to collect yourself first.”
Zuo Jingyou looked at the handkerchief in her palm, nodded, and turned slightly away, with her back to Yin Bai as she gently blotted away the excess tears.
Yin Bai stood beside her, watching her tilt her head back slightly, her long hair cascading over her shoulders like a waterfall, lifting a hand to dry the extra moisture from her eyes. A wave of empathetic sorrow rose in her chest.
The ones left behind always suffered.
But she had never comforted anyone before, and she didn’t know how. After a moment’s thought, Yin Bai pulled out her phone, opened her playlist, and said to Zuo Jingyou, “Actually… there’s no need to be too sad. It… it’ll pass eventually.”
Zuo Jingyou turned to look at her, a little startled.
Was this… supposed to be comforting?
Yin Bai met her gaze and smiled. “Let me play you a song.” Since Zuo Jingyou was the mother of the children next door, Yin Bai decided to try to comfort her.
Yin Bai tapped her phone and, under Zuo Jingyou’s bewildered gaze, played a song with an especially cheerful melody: “She only ever leaves a phone number…”
When Zuo Jingyou heard this old, nostalgic melody, she paused for a moment, then couldn’t help but curve her lips and let out a laugh.
Broken Hearts Alliance—what on earth was this?
Thinking this, Zuo Jingyou looked up with a smile at Yin Bai. But when she lowered her eyes again, tears fell uncontrollably, large as pearls. Seeming to realize she was losing composure, Zuo Jingyou quickly raised her hands to cover her face, silently letting the tears slip through her fingers.
Yin Bai, who had relaxed slightly upon seeing her laugh, felt her brain crash the instant she saw the tears.
This was bad—she’d made it worse!
Yin Bai panicked, completely at a loss. She hastily cut off the music, looked at Zuo Jingyou covering her face, and apologized frantically, “Um… um… I’m sorry… I…”
Flustered and frantic, she looked nothing like an adult—more like a child who had no idea what to do when someone broke down crying. Zuo Jingyou kept her face covered, tears streaming ever more fiercely beyond her control.
Her voice trembling, she said apologetically, “I’m… I’m sorry, Chairman Yin… I lost control…”
“I don’t know why…”
She had already decided she would endure it. She had resolved not to cry. But in front of a well-meaning stranger, the tears had just come.
Zuo Jingyou covered her face, lowered her eyes, and said softly, “I don’t know why…”
Perhaps because Yin Bai seemed like a child, or perhaps because the emotions she’d bottled up for so long had finally found an opening, Zuo Jingyou couldn’t stop herself from saying, “I thought that as long as I did well enough, there would be no problems in a marriage. But I found that it’s not enough for just one person to do well…”
Hearing this sudden confession, Yin Bai stood in place, looking at the helpless woman before her with her face lowered and hidden, and couldn’t help thinking of the time Xiao Nian had abandoned her.
Yin Bai looked at Zuo Jingyou and murmured, as if speaking to her and also to herself, “Ah… I understand, I understand…”
“It was clearly not my fault, but I kept wondering if I’d done something wrong somewhere. Why does she love her, but not me?”
“Was it… was I not good enough?”
The author has something to say:
The dialogue in the final section between Yin Bai and Zuo Jingyou both adapts lines from In the Mood for Love.
They’re two of a kind in love, drawing warmth from each other. Of course they couldn’t have feelings for each other this early on—but! We have our little angel Tongtong!
Yin Bai, much later on: He Zhiwen, your wife is mine, and your daughter is mine too!
(So satisfying)
As usual, leave a comment and I’ll randomly pick fifty readers to send red envelopes.
Footnotes
- Refers to Qiong Yao, a famous Taiwanese romance novelist known for extremely melodramatic, self-sacrificing dialogue. Used as an adjective for outrageously over-the-top romantic speech.
- Chinese internet slang for extreme, painful secondhand embarrassment—the feeling of cringing so hard it's as if one has 'cancer' from the awkwardness.
- A Chinese chengyu meaning 'a broken mirror made round again'—a famous idiom for a separated couple reuniting and reconciling.
- A 1990 Cantopop song by The Grasshoppers. The title literally means 'Lovelorn Front Line Alliance.' Used here as a metaphor connecting two people abandoned by their loved ones.
He Zhiwen you’re such a shameless man, ptui !
He Zhiwen you’re such a shameless man, ptui !