A Willing Mistake, My Lady – Chapter 41
by Little PandaRetreat in Order to Advance
She said, she was a woman
“You… You… I’ll admit you have guts,” the enemy general said, composing himself after his shock. He looked up in surprise at the young general clad in silver armor standing atop the wall.
“Our forces might not be as strong or as well-mounted as General Hu’s,” the youth said. “But if you put those two hostages to death, then no matter how useless and cowardly I am, I will lead the Shen family army to avenge the Old General. When both sides are devastated, what good does that do you? This fortress is easy to defend and difficult to attack. Even if you win, you will lose half your troops. What is the point?”
“If you give me a day to consider, and grant a path of survival to the commoners of our Great Qian, then these fertile lands, these existing houses, and even the grain, pigs, and sheep we cannot carry away will all be yours. How about we both take a step back?” Raindrops the size of beans fell from high above, pattering one by one against the youth’s jade-like face. She suppressed the urge to fight with the fierce, aggressive enemy troops beneath the wall. No matter what, she could not let the enemy pass today.
At present, they had no generals left who could ride out of the city gates to face the enemy. Originally, there had been thirty thousand troops of the Shen family army defending the city, but a transfer order two months ago had stripped away more than twenty thousand of them. Xixing Pass had always been guarded by General Shen. Over the years, aside from a few minor foreign incursions and provocations, there had been no major battles, which caused the imperial court to grow lax. They had actually transferred their already meager forces to the south to suppress bandits.
Now, there were fewer than ten thousand usable soldiers left in the city, and barely any generals to speak of.
The enemy forces, who had originally planned to launch a brutal assault, looked up at the dark, oppressive clouds gathering all around. Seeing the rows of archers stacked deep on the city walls, and remembering the arrow that had nearly taken his life just moments ago, Hu Gudan indeed wavered.
“Watch him. Don’t let him seek his own death,” he ordered his subordinates to keep a close eye on Shen Yao. “This man was only useful alive; if he died, they would lose their leverage.”
“I will give you exactly one day. If you do not obediently open the city gates by tomorrow, I will hack off the Old General’s head and present it to you as a greeting gift.” It was not that he trusted the young general on the wall. Rather, the temptation of breaching a Great Qian pass without losing a single soldier was simply too great. He wanted to try—what if? If this kid whose hair had not even fully grown was lying, he would lose nothing by fighting him to the death tomorrow anyway.
Thus, the youth could only watch as her elderly father was dragged away like a dog. The bow in her hands was raised, only to be lowered in helpless defeat. She looked up at the black clouds, praying for a miracle. Please, do not let it rain before tomorrow.
Clad in black clothes and silver armor, the youth stood isolated on the high wall. With her head slightly lowered, she clasped her hands before her forehead, praying for something unknown.
A sudden gust of wind rose from nowhere, whipping the youth’s hem and hair into the air. The raindrops, which had been pattering down one by one, were dispersed by the gale before they could gather strength.
The youth reached out her hand. Sensing no more rain, she was overcome with wild joy and turned to run down the wall.
Just past the Hour of the Ox1 in the dead of night, when the enemy was in their deepest slumber, a dense barrage of flaming arrows suddenly streaked through the sky. The arrowheads, wrapped in cotton and soaked in grease and fuel, fell upon the enemy tents in an eerie, magnificent display of light against the silent night.
With so many flaming arrows and such powerful winds, a ring of fire quickly encircled the camp before the enemy could even scramble to their feet. The enemy’s tents, provisions, carriages, horses, and even the soldiers who failed to rise in time were all trapped within the blaze.
Our forces split into two routes. Ye Huaiqing and Zhao Chenlan divided the duties—one planning the path of the fire attack, the other preparing the flaming arrows. Meanwhile, Little General Shen led three thousand men to charge into the enemy commander’s camp, tasked with rescuing the Old General.
Of course, this title of “Little General” was just something her subordinates had temporarily bestowed upon her the previous night.
Three thousand men for the fire attack, three thousand for the rescue, and two thousand for cover. They charged into the enemy camp to fight while the barbarians were thrown into utter chaos.
Even with the aid of oil and fire, the enemy’s numbers were vast and their camp spread wide; they still had to end the battle quickly. And there was only one way to secure a swift victory: to capture the ringleader first.
She had studied martial arts under renowned masters since the age of three—it had been thirteen years now, perhaps even longer. Yet, she had never killed a single person. Ordering the fire attack just now had required discarding her conscience, turning herself into a mere war machine to strike such a ruthless blow. But if she did not steel her heart, the commoners behind her would be the ones to suffer this torment.
“I’ll kill you! Aaaaargh!” Roaring with fury, the massive Hu Gudan brandished a heavy scimitar and lunged toward the youth.
The youth had sought out the enemy general’s tent of her own accord. Since it was bound to be a fight to the death anyway, it was better to get it over with cleanly. Her father’s subordinates had already gone to locate him; as long as she could decapitate this enemy commander, there would be a turning point in this unwinnable battle.
The youth’s raw strength was no match for the fierce barbarian giant, and her sword was pinned down completely by the heavy scimitar. However, she was incredibly agile and lightning-fast. In the brief intervals of their clash, she sliced several gashes into the giant’s unarmored flesh.
Several times, Hu Gudan swung his great blade directly at the youth, but each time she seemed to be swept away like a leaf in the wind. Even when the blade was about to bite into her flesh, it somehow failed to touch her.
Meanwhile, the few cuts he had sustained infuriated him. Like an elephant plagued by ants, Hu Gudan grew increasingly enraged. Suddenly, a vicious, sinister gleam flashed in his eyes. Forcing the youth back toward a ruined tent with his blade, raging fires roaring on either side, Hu Gudan raised his great scimitar and snarled, “Let’s see where you run now! Today is the day you die!”
The firelight illuminated his face, making him look like a life-claiming devil from hell, as though fangs had sprouted from his jaws.
With nowhere to dodge, the youth could only use her sword to block with all her might. Though the sword was small, it could withstand a heavy blade ten times its own weight; clearly, it was no ordinary weapon.
The youth’s hair was slightly disheveled across her forehead, and her face was smeared with blood from an unknown source. The muscles in her arms tensed and bulged as she gripped the hilt. She could barely draw breath under the pressure of the great blade. She was not suited for close-quarters brawling with such a brute.
With a sharp flash of her eyes, the youth suddenly let go of her strength and dropped to the ground. Hu Gudan lurched forward from his own momentum, then spread his legs to stabilize his stance.
Seizing the opportunity, the youth slid like a sleek fish right between his □□. Rising to her feet, she swung her blade and hacked at the barbarian’s nape. The man instantly froze in place, his hands still locked in the posture of holding his scimitar.
Warm, crimson blood sprayed across the youth’s face and neck, sticky and thick. She had no time to ponder what it felt like to kill a man. Perhaps because she was unaccustomed to it, or perhaps because her heart was not ruthless enough, the enemy’s head remained half-attached to the neck. She raised her sword and hacked down viciously once more. She needed the enemy commander’s head.
Upon seeing the barbarian’s fingers twitch twice, she gagged instinctively. Yet, she still picked up Hu Gudan’s head, mounted a tall horse, and raised the severed head high amid the fierce, chaotic din of battle.
“Hu Gudan’s head is here! Why do you not surrender immediately?!” The youth’s resonant voice broke through the chaotic melee. After a stunned silence, the soldiers began to cheer for their Little General, their morale soaring.
In the end, the enemy traded their retreat to recover their general’s head and corpse, withdrawing over a hundred li2 away.
They did not have the capacity to house and guard prisoners, so they had no choice but to release more than half of the enemy soldiers. Strictly speaking, this battle could not be considered a victory. One side had lost half its troops, the enemy commander had been slain, and their own commander had been captured alive—it could, at best, be called a draw.
Yet, the dispirited soldiers had returned to life, their eyes filled with deep gratification as they looked upon their Little General. The Old General and his bastard son had been rescued, clawing back some dignity. The onlookers who used to watch the spectacle would now say that only the legitimate son of the primary family could be so promising, truly surpassing the older generation.
The fire, which had burned through half the night, was completely extinguished at dawn by a long-awaited heavy rain. It washed away all the unsightly traces of battle, bringing a perfect end to the Little General’s coming-of-age ceremony.
Shen Hetang felt as though she had just played an incredibly immersive, lifelike virtual game, yet the sticky sensation of blood still seemed to cling to her hands and face.
Her thin nightshirt was completely drenched in sweat, sticking coldly to her damp skin. Summoning her remaining strength, she got out of bed and went to the kitchen, quietly boiling a large pot of hot water. It was another day of missing her wife. She had been absolutely terrified in that nightmare just now; when she had desperately wanted to hold her soft, fragrant wife, she could not find her anywhere.
Twenty days later, Jiang Ning finally saw fit to return her. However, since Jiang Ning had appointments with buyers, she had no time to visit Jiang Manor. Jiang Chenyu bounded joyfully to the bedroom door, then silently sneaked up from behind to drape herself over Shen Hetang’s neck. She had wished for nothing more than a pair of wings to fly straight back to her.
“Go eat first. Stop messing around. You must be tired from the road,” Shen Hetang said flatly, her voice devoid of any surprise.
The young girl suppressed her emotions and ate dinner with her. The pink dress she had specially changed into for her homecoming suddenly did not seem pretty anymore. She had no idea what was wrong with Ah Tang.
After dinner, as the sky gradually darkened, Jiang Chenyu still could not figure out where the problem lay. She could only go to take a bath, feeling thoroughly dispirited.
In her unhappiness, she soaked in the water for a long time. By the time she returned to the room, night had completely fallen.
But the moment she stepped inside, she was startled. The room was pitch black, saved only by a single small lamp lit on the table in front of Shen Hetang.
Ah Tang sat there in absolute silence, her face slightly pale, her long hair draped loosely over her shoulders, and her lips a vivid red.
“Are you sick, Ah Tang?” Why did he look so cold? Besides, with his hair down like that, he looked a bit too beautiful. Yes, beautiful. She could not help but feel that something was off.
“Look at this first,” she said. Her voice was somewhat detached, as if she were speaking to an absolute stranger.
“What is this?” Jiang Chenyu reached out and took the sheet of paper. Holding it under the lamp, she stared at the black ink on the white page. She recognized every individual character, but once they were strung together, she wished she could unlearn them all.
“What is this? A divorce agreement?” A chilling dread gripped Jiang Chenyu’s heart. Her voice carried such deep grievance that she looked as if she might burst into tears at any second.
Standing beside Shen Hetang, the hand holding the paper trembled.
“Chenyu, I might not be able to grow old with you. I hope it is not too late to let go now.” Looking at the little white rabbit whose eyes were already red with tears, she almost pulled the girl onto her lap to hold her.
The young girl bit her lower lip hard, the rims and corners of her eyes flushing a delicate pink. After pooling in her eyes, tears finally fell like pearls from a broken string, splashing drop by drop onto Shen Hetang’s fingers. She looked as if she might shatter into pieces the very next second.
The tears felt scalding hot against Shen Hetang’s fingers, causing her to curl them instinctively.
“Did you remember something? Why don’t you want me anymore? Ah Tang, please don’t cast me aside! Waaah!” She lunged forward and threw herself onto Shen Hetang’s lap, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck and burying her tears against her neck.
With a soft sigh, Shen Hetang could not hold back any longer. She wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her close and tightening her embrace.
“It has nothing to do with remembering anything,” she said, steeling her heart to drive a knife into Jiang Chenyu’s heart. “I… I simply cannot be with you anymore. Go find yourself a real man. If you cannot find one on your own, I will find one for you!”
“No! I won’t! I won’t! I only want you, I don’t want anyone else!” Jiang Chenyu sobbed uncontrollably, her head shaking vigorously against her shoulder.
Seeing that she was crying so hard she could barely catch her breath, and that her arms were squeezing her neck so tightly she was nearly choked, Shen Hetang knew she had to speak.
“I am a woman,” she said, finally gathering the courage to speak the truth. “You and I can never be a real husband and wife.”
“I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care!” Jiang Chenyu wailed, still in a state of near-hysteria. “You married me, so we are husband and wife! Even if you were a dog, you wouldn’t be allowed to abandon me!”
“Did you actually hear what I just said?” Shen Hetang’s heart thumped rapidly. Gently pulling the girl away from her shoulder, she wiped away her tears and asked again.
“What did you say? Did you say you’re a dog?” The delicate beauty was sobbing so hysterically that her mind was completely muddled.
“I said… I… am… a… woman!” Cupping Jiang Chenyu’s chin with her hand, she repeated the words slowly, one by one.
“You said you’re a woman…” Jiang Chenyu repeated mechanically.
“Yes.” Externally, Shen Hetang remained composed, but inside, waiting for the verdict felt no better than weeping!
“Huh?” Jiang Chenyu echoed in her daze.
A moment later, her red, swollen eyes went wide. What had she just heard? Her husband was a woman?
A woman? A woman? She raised her hand to touch Shen Hetang’s face, staring at her in utter shock and scrutiny.
They had not even sorted out the divorce yet, so how had a revelation about her gender suddenly been thrown into the mix?
She, she, she, she, she, she… which matter should she resolve first?
“Woman” and “divorce”—these two concepts took turns spinning frantically in Jiang Chenyu’s head.
Seeing the little white rabbit who had been crying hysterically just moments ago now frozen like a block of wood, Shen Hetang grew anxious and a little frightened.
If they divorced, she would never see Ah Tang again. She wouldn’t be able to hold her, and Ah Tang might even go and hold someone else. No, divorce was out of the question; it was absolutely impossible.
“Divorce is out of the question. I do not agree,” Jiang Chenyu said, her wits finally returning to her after a long pause. “As for you being a woman, I need some time to clear my head. We can talk about it later!”
“What is there to say later?” Shen Hetang asked. Tightening her grip around Jiang Chenyu’s waist, her voice turned low, showing absolutely no intention of letting go.
“If you stay with me, you will never be able to have children. You should still go find a man,” Shen Hetang pressed, giving her no time to calm down.
“I don’t want children! Either way, you are not allowed to leave!” If keeping Ah Tang meant sacrificing some hypothetical child she did not even know, then she would gladly do without.
“But you will regret it in the future,” Shen Hetang tested, retreating in order to advance.
“Why? Are you planning to take a concubine instead?” Light returned to Jiang Chenyu’s eyes as she looked Shen Hetang up and down. Her meaning was clear—even if Ah Tang took a concubine, it would be useless.
“Where did that even come from?” Seeing her return to her usual lively self, Shen Hetang felt a wave of relief wash over her.
“Let’s not divorce for now, and don’t leave, okay?” Jiang Chenyu’s tone sounded like a pitiful child begging for candy.
“Alright… I won’t leave for now.” Shen Hetang lowered her head, nuzzling gently against Jiang Chenyu’s earlobe.
“Mm… stop, it tickles!” With her mind no longer numb, Jiang Chenyu let out a wet giggle as the nuzzling tickled her.
As for the revelation that Ah Tang was a woman, Jiang Chenyu did not feel any different about her yet. She could not quite adapt to such a sudden shift—part of her found it hard to believe, while another part knew it was true. In short, her mind was a mess, but letting her go was out of the question.
She only felt that Ah Tang seemed even more beautiful now, and sitting on her lap filled her with a sudden shyness that made her look down.
Even if she did not want a divorce, was this really acceptable? Could two women kiss and hug like this? Why did she feel a sudden urge to test it out, just to see if anything felt different from before?
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