Sequela
(LP: sequaela – a condition which is the consequence of a previous disease or injury.)
Since returning, Qiao Yu’s feelings towards writing have been complicated, but she has never felt afraid.
This is not to say that she does not value the risk of being pulled back to that place of exile anytime, but Qiao Yu is confident that at least some readers will appreciate her when she starts writing what she truly wants to write.
So, she resumed updating, treating it as a job similar to what she had in the original world, except that the embarrassment of feeling like she was writing her autobiography would sometimes prevail when she sat down to write every week.
And now she suddenly realizes that she cannot truly convey this confidence to Lin Qing.
Her lover does not care about the quality of her writing; all they care about is whether she is still wearing those invisible shackles.
“Is there really nothing you can do on your end?”
“Really nothing… after all, in your terms, I’m just the supervisor of the host…”
There is little it can do on the fundamental issue, the system’s voice sounding somewhat despondent, feeling disheartened for not being able to help the host.
“To be honest, originally in the design, the host could part ways with this mission at the conclusion of this story. But now…”
The system didn’t finish its sentence, but Qiao Yu already understood its meaning, falling silent for a moment.
With the current changes in orientation and the protagonist, the book with the ending condition of “Lin Qing marrying Cong Ye” is never going to come to a conclusion.
Moreover, this direction was never feasible to begin with. After the conclusion, she would have to return to the original world, which is not the ending she had painstakingly thought of.
It’s been a month since Lin Qing opened up, but Qiao Yu still hasn’t thought of a proper solution.
If she doesn’t consider this issue, their daily life continues warmly and happily, living and returning together.
They hold hands on the school playground, kiss under the plane trees, and when Qiao Yu senses someone approaching, she will raise the collar of her jacket to cover Lin Qing, and they both laugh softly together.
Qiao Yu can hardly imagine a better life.
However, the only time she feels a slight crack is when she has to write. As Lin Qing mentioned that day, she conceals her emotions well and obediently occupies herself for the two or three hours when Qiao Yu is writing, either reading a book or studying, as if the act of writing does not exist as long as she doesn’t see Qiao Yu doing it.
But every time Qiao Yu finishes writing and comes out to hug her, Lin Qing always holds her extra tightly.
Qiao Yu has thought about finding time to write secretly without telling her, but in their current living arrangement, it’s not an easy thing to do. Lin Qing is very smart, and even if she comes up with some poor excuse, it will be quickly seen through. She may choose not to expose it out of concern for Qiao Yu’s feelings, which might make her even more anxious.
And the light screen of the system is really not suitable for use in a crowded place like school. So, the method Qiao Yu currently uses is to try and finish writing on every Tuesday, the day when they go home to their parent’s house, but she suspects that Lin Qing is already aware of this. They both understand it without speaking, and it’s a topic they never bring up.
“…What should we do? I really feel that there’s absolutely no way to escape this judgment system through normal means…”
Currently at the Qiao family’s home, after finishing writing and following the usual discussion time with the system, they are unable to find any feasible solution, and the discussion quickly reaches a deadlock.
“…”
Qiao Yu pondered for a while before sighing.
“‘Normal means’… huh.”
Yes, Qiao Yu does have some thoughts after all.
When it comes to “unconventional means,” she actually has an idea.
Although immature and very risky, the risk is proportional to the reward. It is a straightforward path, and if successful, it would be a permanent solution.
“The host was warned by Lin Qing not to take risks just recently!” The system suddenly became alert, carefully watching over the host on behalf of Lin Qing. “If you truly choose that method, even I won’t be able to help.”
“I know, I haven’t decided whether to go through with it yet.”
Qiao Yu shook her head, but her thoughts couldn’t help drifting back to the depths of her memories.
She didn’t tell Lin Qing everything that happened during her exile.
Even now, when she briefly mentioned those two years to Lin Qing, it was only in vague terms, saying it was a desolate place where she kept walking until the day her satisfaction level increased.
As for encountering Great Mi Yi there, Qiao Yu chose to conceal it.
Her reason for doing so was not to deceive Lin Qing, but rather she was unsure if she could bring herself to speak about it. If she told Lin Qing, would it bring about any dangerous consequences for her?
After all, the moment when the unidentified force forcefully expelled Great Mi Yi, with whom she was exchanging information, out of that space, Qiao Yu still remembered it vividly to this day.
Above the firmament, there was an invisible giant hand that Qiao Yu could not fathom how powerful it was.
However, since returning from exile, Qiao Yu felt like she hadn’t encountered any major troubles, perhaps her behavior of keeping silent and not digging for answers had pleased the divine beings.
Qiao Yu walked to the window, lifted her head to gaze through the glass at the black night sky.
Perhaps up in the heavens, there was an indiscernible figure staring back at her.
As far as the eye could see, it was only pitch black, a night without any stars or the moon.
Qiao Yu gazed for a while and then drew the curtains closed.
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It was the weekend, a time when both of them should have been resting at home together, but not long after getting up in the morning, Lin Qing noticed that Qiao Yu was already dressed neatly.
“Are you going out?”
She spoke up, furrowing her brows slightly. After all, since the convenience store incident that occurred shortly after they moved in, Qiao Yu had always informed her in advance of where she was going. This was the first time she had already changed and had yet to mention it to her.
“Oh, I was just about to tell you.”
Qiao Yu, who had just put on her sweater, raised her head in response, smiling apologetically at Lin Qing.
“I haven’t done my regular check-up for this month yet. My dad reminded me just now, and since it’s the weekend today, I have to go.”
“…A doctor? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”
Lin Qing suddenly became flustered, taking a few steps forward. She saw Qiao Yu waving her hands, looking hurried but not appearing sick at all.
“It’s okay. It’s just that I had a serious illness before — at least that’s how my parents saw it. So they are worried and still want me to go for regular check-ups and things like that.”
“I’m actually very healthy, so don’t worry.”
Only then did Lin Qing relax a bit, heaving a sigh of relief, and said, “I’ll go with you. Just wait for me.”
“Huh? Can you?”
Qiao Yu widened her eyes in surprise, and Lin Qing jokingly rolled her eyes at her.
“I don’t have anything going on, so of course I’ll go with you.”
Lin Qing said as she walked to the wardrobe to pick out the clothes she was going to change into. She continued, “In the future, if you need to go, just let me know — unless there’s some medical report you don’t want me to see?”
“…” Qiao Yu tilted her head in thought and then decisively shook it, “No.”
“Your suspicious pause for thought says otherwise.”
“I really don’t have anything to hide. The results of this check-up will be shown to you as they are,” Qiao Yu reassured, touching her nose and adding, “…Besides, you should know best about whether I’m healthy or not, right?”
“…”
Lin Qing’s hand holding the clothes froze for a moment. She angrily gritted her teeth and grabbed a stuffed shark from the bed, throwing it at Qiao Yu.
“I need to change! Wait outside!”
Looking puzzled, Qiao Yu reflexively caught the soft shark toy thrown at her and obediently covered her eyes as she walked out, considerately closing the door behind her.
Since she had seen it countless times anyway — if she dared to say those words out loud, she might have received more than just a toy thrown at her, right?
Qiao Yu held the shark and glanced at it before zipping up her mouth in a gesture.
The examination process was indeed uneventful. Qiao Yu went through each test smoothly, with the only highlight being that the doctors at this hospital seemed to recognize Qiao Yu. They would smile and greet her warmly when they passed each other in the hallway.
“I woke up here before.”
Qiao Yu explained to Lin Qing as she nodded at a passing nurse.
“In the eyes of the staff here, I’ve been lying here for two years, so they are quite familiar with me.”
“…Oh, I see. So are you not very familiar with them?”
“It’s not that. After all, I stayed here for a while after waking up, and then I kept coming for check-ups. Hmm, it’s like I actually stayed in the hospital for that long. At first, it was a bit strange, but now I’ve grown used to the hospital and don’t resist it as much. I don’t know if it’s a good thing…”
Qiao Yu muttered, sounding somewhat unlucky. She gestured for Lin Qing to wait outside and went into the next room for the scheduled examination. Lin Qing sat on a bench by the wall, smelling the hospital’s disinfectant, feeling a bit uneasy.
At that time, when Qiao Yu had just woken up, it would have been good to have been by her side right away.
Even though it was in the past, thinking about it still felt somewhat regrettable.
Imagining Qiao Yu waking up alone here, Lin Qing couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
She only had a vague understanding of Qiao Yu’s two-year experience. She knew it was something deliberately chosen by Qiao Yu, so she respected Qiao Yu’s wishes and did not choose to dig deeper.
From the desolate and uninhabited nature of that place, it was clear that Qiao Yu’s time there was definitely not a pleasant experience. Initially, when they reunited, they both had more pressing issues to address. Now, Lin Qing felt it might not be appropriate to bring up that matter again, unsure if it would touch upon Qiao Yu’s emotional wounds.
As she hesitated and pondered, Qiao Yu had already finished the examination and came out of the room, visibly relieved.
“Everything’s been checked. It seems like there are no major issues with my health.”
“Good, that’s a relief.”
Lin Qing put aside the thoughts in her mind for the time being, smiled at her, and the two of them left the hospital together, returning to the waiting car of the Qiao family’s driver.
But the driver did not immediately start the car. He hesitated for a moment after gripping the steering wheel, and tentatively glanced in the rearview mirror at Lin Qing sitting in the back.
This action was noticed by Lin Qing. Just as she was puzzled, she heard the driver hesitantly speak, “… just go directly to the old place?”
The old place?
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It was like solving some kind of dumb riddle. Lin Qing furrowed her brows and looked at Qiao Yu, who was being asked. Qiao Yu, with a calm expression, affirmed, “Yes, it’s okay.”
So the driver started the car. From his familiarity with the route, it seemed like he had traveled this road many times before. Without receiving an explanation, Lin Qing was filled with doubts. Qiao Yu, facing her probing gaze, awkwardly tilted her head, seeming unsure of how to best approach the situation, only saying, “I will tell you everything later.”
The journey was not far, and they soon arrived at their destination. Qiao Yu got out of the car first, then took Lin Qing out from the car.
In front of them was a building, with people coming in and out from time to time. There was no obvious clue from the exterior, but the sign at the entrance made Lin Qing’s throat tighten.
Psychological counseling.
Confusion clouded Lin Qing’s mind, and the thought even crossed her mind whether Qiao Yu had brought her here to receive psychological treatment for her tendency to overthink and worry excessively. As Qiao Yu led her inside, walking in as if she knew the place well and knocking on the door of a room, she realized that it was impossible.
Because the driver referred to this place as the “old place”.
Inside, a calm female voice signaled for them to come in. Lin Qing, in a state of confusion, followed Qiao Yu to sit on the sofa, listening almost dazedly as Qiao Yu instructed the lady not to mind Lin Qing’s presence, and then started talking to her as if they were familiar.
“How have you been lately? You seem to be in better spirits compared to last month.”
“Yes, I have been doing well since I moved to a new home.”
“Has there been any improvement in your sleep issues?”
“Yes. I can basically fall asleep normally now.”
“That’s great to hear. Relying on sleeping pills all the time is not a good thing.”
What are they… talking about?
The content heard was simple and easy to understand, but Lin Qing found it difficult to piece together the information, feeling her mind in a jumble.
Sleep, sleeping pills, falling asleep normally.
Her memory suddenly flashed back to when Qiao Yu’s senior high school year, when she had just started tutoring Qiao Yu. She remembered saying a sentence back then.
‘You have really dark circles under your eyes.’
At that time, she touched Qiao Yu’s face, assuming it was just due to Qiao Yu staying up late studying, never doubting her.
“Getting into the university you desired must have reduced your stress, right? It’s normal for high school seniors to have insomnia, so you don’t need to worry.”
“Well… there might be some factors in that regard. But I feel the main reason is that I… don’t sleep alone.”
Qiao Yu smiled shyly, tightly holding Lin Qing’s hand. The psychologist did not miss her action, and there was a hint of blessing in her smile.
“A good love can heal heartache.”
“I wish you both happiness.”
After leaving the psychological clinic, Lin Qing only said, “Let’s talk when we get home,” and then fell silent. In the car, she kept her head down, the only visible sign being her tightly pursed lips, giving no hint of her feelings in her eyes.
Qiao Yu could clearly sense the unusual atmosphere surrounding her, but it didn’t quite seem like the usual anger — induced low pressure — after all, she had left a brief explanation. So, she decided to respect Lin Qing’s wishes and refrained from disturbing her, holding a mix of anxiety and apprehension.
It wasn’t until they walked into the house together, with Qiao Yu following Lin Qing cautiously step by step, that she couldn’t help stealing glances at her.
“…Qingqing? Are you angry?”
“…”
Lin Qing was slowly unbuttoning her coat, her hands paused in their awkward movements upon hearing Qiao Yu’s words. She took a deep breath but couldn’t stop her trembling.
“I never knew.”
Her voice was soft, yet the emotions within her were incredibly heavy.
“Because I never said anything.”
Qiao Yu smiled wryly, fearing Lin Qing might misunderstand, and hastily continued speaking.
“It’s not that I deliberately didn’t tell you… It’s just that during those moments right after waking up, my symptoms were most severe. But at that time, you see, our relationship wasn’t that great.”
“And then, I felt like bringing up this matter would seem like I’m seeking sympathy by selling my misfortune to you… I don’t want that.”
“Plus, um, back then, I was in high school anyway, and I thought not being able to sleep was a good opportunity to focus on studying…”
Her voice trailed off uneasily. Walking slowly towards Lin Qing with her hands behind her back, she bent down to look at Lin Qing’s expression, trying to explain herself.
“But, but, after Qingqing told me to go to bed before midnight, I actually listened.”
“It was just really difficult to fall asleep at that time… I did try my best.”
“Now it’s much better! With Qingqing by my side, I sleep well.”
Qiao Yu’s tone carried a slight sense of guilt, which tore at Lin Qing’s heart.
“Are you really angry? Then I—”
Unable to bear hearing the person still wondering whether she was angry or not, Lin Qing embraced her tightly, burying her face deeply in her neck.
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“… Is it sequaela from exile?”
“Yes.”
Qiao Yu admitted calmly, comforting her with gentle pats on the back.
“It’s in the past.”
“That time… was it very difficult for you?”
“I’m fine.” Qiao Yu’s voice, surprisingly tinged with a smile, softly reassured her, “Really, I’m fine. At least I can still lie in bed.”
Lin Qing involuntarily gripped the fabric on the back of Qiao Yu’s clothes, nearly shedding tears from the overwhelming surge of bittersweet emotions.
“Don’t worry so much… you see, I’m doing better now.”
Qiao Yu’s voice was very gentle, lowering her tone as if soothing her.
“My experience did indeed leave many sequelae, but as long as I’m by your side, it seems like I miraculously get better.”
“You can cure my illness, and I also want… similarly, to heal your heartache.”
The gentle tone turned resolute, causing Lin Qing to startle, raising her head to look at Qiao Yu blankly, meeting those gentle yet profound eyes.
“There’s something I want to discuss with you, but before that, I want to share my experiences during my exile with you.”
“But there are still things I need to hide from you. Please forgive me.”
Apologizing in advance for not being completely honest with her, Qiao Yu took a deep breath, casting her gaze into space.
“… It might be an unpleasant topic. Do you want to hear it now?”
