The Martial Arts Stunt Double of the Entertainment Circle – Chapter 29
by Little PandaAs soon as Qiao Chunyi got home, she found Gu Min and Tuoba Jiao sitting on the sofa in a daze. At the sound of the door, both turned their heads in unison, two pairs of eyes staring straight at her—their synchronization was genuinely amusing.
Qiao Chunyi set down her bag with a wry laugh. “What’s going on?”
Gu Min said, “Tuoba Xiu came by earlier.”
“Tuoba Xiu?” Now Qiao Chunyi couldn’t laugh anymore. Her eyes went wide. “How did he find this place… Was he looking for you and Jiaojiao? You didn’t let him in, did you?”
Gu Min shook her head. Though she had steeled herself to confront Tuoba Xiu with a blade, after years of being bullied and ground down by him and Jiang Guilan, the fear still ran deep. She carefully recalled his appearance and told Qiao Chunyi:
“He was dressed very formally—a proper suit and leather shoes. He knocked a few times and then left. He didn’t seem intent on forcing his way in.”
The three of them discussed it briefly but couldn’t reach any sensible conclusion. They were all rather baffled.
“Forget about him. Let’s eat first,” Qiao Chunyi said.
Tuoba Jiao asked, “What about Sister? Aren’t we waiting for Sister?”
“Your sister eats at the studio—they provide meals on set.” Qiao Chunyi smiled at Gu Min. “Look at that—those two get along so well. Jiaojiao even knows to ask whether Yanyan’s coming home for dinner. If Yanyan were half as well-behaved, I wouldn’t have to worry so much.”
Tuoba Jiao said earnestly, “Sister is very good.”
Though Qiao Chunyi hadn’t asked her to, Gu Min had already gotten the rice started. The apartment was spotless, and in the kitchen she had prepped two vegetables—bean sprouts and organic cauliflower—all washed and trimmed, ready for the wok.
Qiao Chunyi had the morning and evening shifts today, with the afternoon off to rest at home. She had intended to cook herself, but Gu Min gently yet firmly pushed her out of the kitchen. Seeing that Gu Min had chosen vegetables stored on the kitchen floor, Qiao Chunyi told her there was sausage in the fridge she could slice up a plate of—it wouldn’t do for three people to eat nothing but greens like a bunch of rabbits.
Gu Min’s cooking turned out to be surprisingly decent. Qiao Chunyi asked offhand, and it turned out that Jiang Guilan, that Old Hag, had always tormented Gu Min. Kitchen work, cleaning, household chores—all the tedious, troublesome tasks were dumped on Gu Min and the hired help, and Jiang Guilan nitpicked the food on top of it. After sixteen years under her thumb, Gu Min had naturally developed the skills.
At this point, Gu Min said cautiously, “Sister Qiao, Jiaojiao and I won’t keep staying at your place forever. I’ll go find work and somewhere to settle…”
Qiao Chunyi cut her off directly: “Don’t go looking anywhere else. If you find our place too humble, that’s one thing—but if not, then settle down here in peace and stop overthinking.”
How could she not know Gu Min’s temperament? She was clearly afraid that staying too long would wear out her welcome and get her thrown out, leaving her homeless again. Setting aside the fact that Qiao Chunyi had misunderstood Gu Min for so many years and genuinely wanted to make it up to her—even if Gu Min were just an ordinary woman who’d suffered domestic violence, Qiao Chunyi would still have stepped in to help.
Gu Min was both quietly glad and anxious all at once, choked up and unsure what to say.
Just then, a knock came at the door. All three at the table thought the same thing: He’s here.
Qiao Chunyi signaled Gu Min to keep quiet, then crept to the door and peered through the peephole. Who else but Tuoba Xiu—dressed up like a dog in human clothes, a bouquet of lilies in his arms.
“Go into the bedroom and keep quiet. I’ll handle him,” Qiao Chunyi whispered to Gu Min and her daughter.
Gu Min, full of worry, was pulled into the room by her daughter.
Gu Min and Tuoba Jiao’s departure had left Jiang Guilan and her son each nursing their own schemes. Jiang Guilan genuinely didn’t want to see those two jinxes1 again—divorce would be ideal, but not one cent of the Tuoba family’s assets would go with them. Meanwhile, Tuoba Xiu initially felt his authority had been challenged. Gu Min and his second daughter, who had never dared defy him before, had actually turned against him. This was unacceptable. He figured they’d come crawling back once they couldn’t survive on their own, but eventually he began to seriously consider whether divorce might be the right call.
Ever since encountering Tuoba Yan at the yakiniku restaurant, Tuoba Xiu had been slightly unhinged. He spent day and night reflecting on his life, only to discover that the genuinely happy times were those few years of courting and marrying Qiao Chunyi. True, they’d had a bitter falling out over the children later, but Tuoba Xiu was confident he could win his ex-wife’s heart back.
He had investigated Qiao Chunyi’s movements over the years—nothing but sales clerk and promotional work, with no signs of remarriage or any romantic involvement whatsoever. A divorced woman who steadfastly refused to remarry—what else could it mean?
It meant Qiao Chunyi still had feelings for him! She simply wasn’t willing to marry another man.
Tuoba Xiu examined himself in the mirror. The marks of time were there on his face, but they only added a refined maturity—he was still the same handsome, dashing gentleman.
He freshened up and headed downstairs in high spirits. Jiang Guilan was scrolling through her laptop doing research. Seeing her son come down, she quickly called to him: “Ah Xiu, come here a moment.”
Tuoba Xiu and Jiang Guilan had been in a cold war since their last argument, but she was still his mother, and he had to give her some face. He asked with studied indifference, “What is it?”
Jiang Guilan dearly wanted to curse this unfilial son, but she retained enough sense to know this wasn’t the moment for another confrontation. She insisted on showing him the surrogacy profiles she’d been researching, introducing each one: this candidate was a Zhongjiang University graduate, that one had particularly refined features—all excellent surrogacy candidates.
She meant well, but Tuoba Xiu was having none of it. “What’s the meaning of this? Surrogacy? If I want a child, I’ll figure it out myself. Mom, stop meddling!”
He still had to rekindle his romance with Qiao Chunyi!
That morning, Tuoba Xiu had rushed to the address he’d dug up—Qiao Chunyi’s current residence. It was even more rundown than the photos, and a pang of guilt struck him. Yanyan and her mother had been living here all these years? No wonder Yanyan had been so disrespectful last time. Tuoba Xiu swore he would make it up to his good daughter.
But Qiao Chunyi wasn’t home. He remembered passing a flower shop on the way and decided to buy her a bouquet—she loved lilies most. Cradling the flowers, he timed it well and knocked on the door. With a creak, it opened from within—and there stood the woman he thought about day and night.
Thanks to the herbal tonic soups Tuoba Yan had been brewing for her, Qiao Chunyi had regained much of her vitality. With her daughter’s gentle prodding, she’d also stopped dressing so dowdy. She was naturally beautiful to begin with—her former looks had returned to about eighty percent, her complexion radiant and luminous. In Tuoba Xiu’s eyes, she looked as though she had stepped straight out of his memories.
Qiao Chunyi didn’t give him the slightest warm reception. “What a rare guest. What brings you to my door?”
Tuoba Xiu collected himself and presented the bouquet of lilies. “Flowers for a lovely lady. Won’t you invite me in to sit?”
Qiao Chunyi pushed the flowers back with a cold laugh. “Thanks for the lilies, but this cast-out wife2 and hag3 can’t accept your flowers. You’re a married man—those flowers are better suited for your own wife. Now, go downstairs, get out of my sight, and give the flowers to whoever you please. Don’t come back, or I’ll beat you every time I lay eyes on you.”
Tuoba Xiu put on an act of deep devotion, working himself up until he was moved by his own performance—while making Qiao Chunyi want to vomit:
“Chunyi, are you really this heartless, driving me away? I came to sincerely apologize. Of course, I know I’ve wronged you too much for you to forgive me all at once. This is my first visit—there’ll be a second, a third. Whenever you forgive me and are willing to come home with me, I’ll carry you home in an eight-bearer sedan chair4 and marry you all over again.”
Qiao Chunyi: “You’ve divorced your wife?”
“Chunyi, you have no idea how vicious that woman is. She schemed against you and me from the very start. She and I have no feelings for each other—it was all…”
Qiao Chunyi slammed the door. If she hadn’t shut it, she feared she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from killing this thug who spouted nothing but lies.
The author has something to say:
Trash dad visits: fifteen years divorced, discovers his greatest love is still you…
Mama Qiao: Get as far away as you can.
Mother Gu: I can’t hold back anymore—I’m requesting immediate humane destruction5 of him, and I volunteer as executioner!
Footnotes
- 丧门星 | sangmenxing | A Chinese derogatory term literally meaning 'jinx' or 'harbinger of misfortune,' used to describe people believed to bring bad luck and calamity wherever they go.
- 下堂妇 | xiatangfu | Literally 'wife dismissed from the hall'—a traditional term for a divorced or cast-out wife, carrying connotations of social shame and loss of standing after being sent away by her husband.
- 黄脸婆 | huanglianpo | Literally 'yellow-faced woman'—a colloquial and derogatory Chinese term for an aging, worn-out wife whose looks have faded, reflecting traditional cultural assumptions linking domestic drudgery with loss of beauty.
- 八抬大轿 | bataidajiao | A ceremonial bridal sedan chair carried by eight bearers, used in traditional Chinese wedding processions to signify the grandest possible pomp and ceremony for receiving a bride.
- 人道毁灭 | rendaohuimie | Literally 'humane destruction'—a euphemism for euthanasia or the controlled putting-down of animals, here humorously repurposed by the author as a death sentence for the trash father.
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