So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 115
by Little PandaI’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight
I’m Back
Welcome home.
The motion-sensor light in the distance suddenly switched on, casting a dim, yellowish halo.
On the cabinet by the front door stood a single blue hydrangea, its full-bloomed silhouette leaning against the wall, framed by the shadow of the shoe rack.
Chi Qian had just quit her job; she couldn’t imagine anyone would come looking for her this late.
Hearing the knock, she quickly composed herself and looked toward the door with caution. “Who is it?”
“Delivery. Leaving it at your door.”
A familiar, hurried voice came from the other side.
It was the SF Express1 courier who handled Chi Qian’s area. He knew her well and was aware of her delivery preferences, so he simply said his piece, dropped off the package, and left.
The clock on the wall gave a soft clack as the minute hand shifted. It was just past eight-thirty.
It was the time for the courier’s last run of the day.
Even so, Chi Qian’s tense mood didn’t ease.
She hadn’t ordered anything online in the last two days. There shouldn’t be any deliveries.
Worried she might have misremembered, Chi Qian pulled out her phone to check her delivery information.
The last package had been received the day before yesterday. She truly had no new parcels on the way.
What was going on?
Finding it extremely strange, Chi Qian cautiously approached the door.
A bright path of light from the open door fell across the doormat. The hallway was quiet and empty. A square package lay right in her line of sight.
Chi Qian had never received a package like this before. She picked it up and weighed it in her hand. It felt like a book.
Her gaze fell to the shipping label on the front. In the recipient field, she saw her own name, her phone number, and her address, accurate down to the apartment number.
A knot of nervousness tightened in her chest.
She had a feeling this was no ordinary package, yet an unconscious impulse made her keep reading.
Sender: Song Tang.
Sender’s Address: 341 Jianxing Road, Wutong District, Ningcheng City.
Forget the sender’s name—the address was a place Chi Qian had never even heard of.
“Ningcheng…” Chi Qian murmured the city’s name. It felt familiar for some reason, but she couldn’t place it.
Where was Ningcheng?
And why didn’t this package feel threatening?
Deeply puzzled, Chi Qian weighed the package in her hands and brought it inside.
She tore open the mailer with practiced ease. Inside was indeed a book, its four corners protected by black iron guards. The book was in perfect condition.
The cover had the distinct look of a romance novel, an oil painting in a romantic style with a pink and purple palette. In an inconspicuous spot, the male and female leads were depicted standing side-by-side.
The title was printed in the top left corner: 《Sleepless Night》.
“Sleepless Night?” Chi Qian read the name aloud, her curiosity piqued by the contents.
She was an omnivorous reader; anything that caught her interest was fair game.
And so, driven by curiosity, she opened the book.
The high-quality paper was smooth and fine to the touch, and the freshly printed words carried the faint scent of ink.
The moment she opened it, Chi Qian felt a magical force pulling her in. 《Sleepless Night》 was about to live up to its name.
She sat on the sofa and began to read. Perhaps because she knew she didn’t have to work the next day, she completely lost track of time.
The moon fell from the branches, and the sun streaked the horizon with a trace of light.
A new day was about to begin.
In truth, Chi Qian had little interest in heterosexual love stories. It was as if she was searching for something.
Her fingers slid over the pages, flipping downward relentlessly. She was more than halfway through the book when Shi Jinlan made her entrance.
【In the soundless silence, a sudden tap, and then another, echoed through the hall.
Everyone instinctively turned toward the source of the sound. There, at the entrance to the banquet hall, a cane rested on the marble floor.
Long fingers casually brushed past the red stone inlaid in the cane’s handle. An arm, as pale as a peeled spring onion,2 was both straight and languid.
The hem of a dark black dress swayed in a shallow arc with the woman’s steps. The crystal-sharpened light carved out for her a sense of exquisite refinement that was both real and unreal, as if she existed on a different plane from everyone else.
Her cool gaze swept carelessly from near to far, seemingly uninterested in anything. All she left for those present was a detached and disdainful silhouette; no one would notice her unsteady leg.
“Is that Shi Jinlan?”
“Yes, that’s her.”】
Chi Qian’s reading slowed as she looked at the passage.
Her eyes lingered on the three characters for “Shi Jinlan,” and a sudden pang of pain struck her heart, as if she knew this person.
As if this was the very reason she had been frantically flipping through the book.
The name “Shi Jinlan” felt incredibly familiar. She kept reading, a sense of urgency building.
She couldn’t wait to find out the final fate of this villain, couldn’t wait to know what she had gone through, to know who was buried beneath the tombstone she so often visited.
【“Ah Qian…”】
As Chi Qian read the name—the same as her own—that Shi Jinlan called out in the book, it was as if she could actually hear someone calling to her.
Thump! Thump!
Her heart hammered in resonance. Her eyes chased the words on the page. Only as the story neared its end was Shi Jinlan’s tale revealed.
The name she called belonged to her beloved, who had died young.
Buried beneath that tombstone was the greatest love of her life.
They had met when they had nothing. That person was a beam of light in her dark life, accompanying her through its most difficult times.
But the Shi Jinlan of that time didn’t know that even harder days awaited her.
The person she loved would die for her. After avenging her, Shi Jinlan could only stand guard over endless time, once again becoming the unfeeling cog of the Shinian Group, swallowing up companies large and small.
Until the male and female leads appeared and, as their most glorious trophy, cut her down.
【The silent world of the deep night had its mute button pressed. Only the waves endlessly washed the shore, providing a soothing white noise.
The splashing spray dampened the hem of Shi Jinlan’s dress. She had returned here once more.
This was where Chi Qian had saved her all those years ago.
Now that she was to depart, she would depart from here as well.
In this final game, Shi Jinlan had lost everything, yet her eyes still held a smile.
Perhaps, after this, she would be able to see the person she most wanted to see. And so, without a second thought, she walked into the deep sea.】
“…”
Reading that line, Chi Qian’s breath caught in her throat, a searing pain.
That feeling of being so heartbroken she couldn’t breathe—it was back.
She didn’t want Shi Jinlan to walk into that deep sea. Her empty hand clenched the edge of the book, desperately trying to crush the ending she had just witnessed.
“Why… What on earth am I so sad about…” Chi Qian pressed a hand to her chest, unable to understand her own reaction.
The pain was making it hard to breathe.
The oxygen around her suddenly felt thin. The anguish was uncontrollable, forcing tears from her eyes.
Clack.
Her grip on the book faltered, and it slipped from the sofa, tumbling to the floor.
From between the pages she had yet to read, a postcard fell out.
Azure seawater churned under a night sky, drawing a romantic, white-foamed line against the beach.
It should have been a scene of tranquil beauty, but the reefs cut through the waves, revealing the ocean’s ferocious side, as if it wanted to swallow a person whole.
Chi Qian’s gaze froze. She stared at the postcard, an intense feeling of familiarity washing over her.
With a trembling hand, she picked the card up from the floor. She looked up, toward the wall behind the sofa. The scene on the postcard was the very painting hanging on her wall!
Chi Qian’s heart skipped a beat.
She didn’t feel afraid. She simply held the postcard and stared at the painting.
A faint static sound grew louder, calling her name.
“…Ah… bzzzt… Qian.”
“Quick… kssht… come over… bzzzt… Qian…”
In an instant, the churning seawater in the painting began to pour out of the frame.
The azure water, like boneless tentacles, wrapped around Chi Qian. With excitement, with a laugh, it enveloped her.
“Found you…”
“Ah Qian… I’m taking you… home.”
The moonlit night was silent. A few lonely stars hung in the sky, not nearly enough to adorn the inky blackness.
Waves crashed against the reefs, a repetitive, tireless sound.
A figure stood on the reef closest to the water’s surface.
The cold wind, carried on the waves, fiercely whipped through her long hair. The scattered black strands revealed features far sharper than the wind itself.
Shi Jinlan sat sideways on the reef, gazing into the distance, indifferent to how punishing the cold wind was.
Summer had passed so quickly. By the time Shi Jinlan had noticed, it was already cool autumn.
One day, the autumn cicadas fell silent, leaving the long night entirely to the sea.
The moonlight sketched the shadow of a cat on the beach. Thirteen padded over slowly.
It looked at the scene before it and was suddenly reminded of a long time ago, when it and its Host had waited just like this for Shi Jinlan to arrive.
Back then, its Host had waited for Shi Jinlan for a very long time.
And now, Shi Jinlan had been standing here, waiting for Chi Qian, for a very long time.
For some reason, Thirteen felt an unexpected wave of sadness.
It leaped lightly onto the reef, then curled up in Shi Jinlan’s arms with practiced ease and called out to her, 【Master.】
During this time, Thirteen had figured out why it called Shi Jinlan “Master.”
It had also figured out that it had always been a cat, and that its memories, like its Host’s, had been grafted.
But why was it that now, when it finally remembered, its other master was gone?
In the past, it had maintained a cat’s aloofness and hadn’t been particularly close to Chi Qian. But now, it truly missed her.
【Master, when will Host be back?】 Thirteen looked up at Shi Jinlan, unable to stop itself from repeating the question.
【I don’t know.】 Shi Jinlan’s voice was faint. Her fingers, chilled by the sea breeze, gently scratched Thirteen’s head. 【It could be soon, or it could be a long time.】
【Do you miss her? I miss her so much.】 After regaining its memories, Thirteen had so much it wanted to tell Chi Qian. 【Host makes the best seafood congee. I love it.】
【Is that so? She’s never made it for me.】 Shi Jinlan watched the sea calmly, her voice tinged with what might have been a sigh, or perhaps wistfulness.
【Then when she comes back, Master, you have to make her cook it for you,】 Thirteen declared.
【Alright.】 Shi Jinlan nodded.
She said it with such certainty.
As if she firmly believed that Chi Qian would, without a doubt, return.
“Splash—!”
A wave suddenly crashed against the shore with greater force, slamming into the reef without warning.
Shi Jinlan calmly watched the raging sea. The spray flew up, but not a single drop touched her.
She even unhurriedly raised a hand to shield the water-fearing Thirteen.
“Meow~” In return for her protection, Thirteen snuggled affectionately in her arms.
The night was heavy, and layers of clouds pressed down from the sky, as if wanting to merge with the sea.
The white foam of the waves blocked Shi Jinlan’s downward gaze. She looked down at the affectionate cat, completely failing to notice the figure walking out of the sea.
Droplets of water fell from the hem of a thin dress, leaving a trail along the way.
Chi Qian stared blankly at the world the sea had brought her to. The scattered lights of the island filled her eyes, and her memories of this world came rushing back.
The sea breeze lifted her long hair. She realized she had returned to a familiar place.
And she saw a familiar person.
Chi Qian looked at the person sitting on the reef. With a single glance, her heart began to pound uncontrollably.
Her water-drenched lips were moist and thin. Like the gentle flutter of crimson butterfly wings, two words escaped her throat: “…Ah Lan.”
The sound was so soft, it seemed it could be shattered by the next wave.
But Shi Jinlan’s sharp hearing caught it. She looked up, her movement both swift and hesitant, as if she couldn’t believe it.
The moonlight shimmered on the water’s surface. A long shadow walked toward her, stepping across the water, one step at a time.
Thirteen froze, then in the next instant, it was certain. Chi Qian was back.
It leaped excitedly from Shi Jinlan’s lap and ran toward Chi Qian. “Meow—! (Host!!)”
Hearing the familiar address, Chi Qian knew that nothing had changed.
She reached out and steadily caught Thirteen’s flying pounce. “Thirteen!”
“Meow—! Meow meow—! (Host! What took you so long to come back!!!)” Thirteen cried out, its voice shrill and excited. It kept its claws retracted as it protested in her arms.
Holding the warm ball of fur, Chi Qian finally felt that she was truly back.
She rubbed Thirteen’s head apologetically. “Sorry, I only just remembered,” she said, her ears catching the sound of footsteps.
Shi Jinlan had already stepped down from the reef.
She stood just a step away from Chi Qian, her gaze fixed deeply upon her.
The moonlight was pristine. The two of them faced each other, their eyes meeting.
Nothing was said, yet it felt as if everything had been.
Chi Qian fought back tears, her smiling eyes saying to Shi Jinlan, “Ah Lan, I’m back.”
Shi Jinlan nodded. The moon couldn’t see the redness of her eyes. A shadow flickered, and she pulled Chi Qian into a tight embrace. “Welcome home.”
“Meow! (Host, I’ll wait for you at home!)” Thirteen was now two hundred percent perceptive. It leaped from Chi Qian’s arms and darted away.
With nothing between them, Chi Qian was completely enveloped in Shi Jinlan’s embrace.
Her empty hands slowly came to rest on Shi Jinlan’s waist, returning the hug, pulling her close.
It had only been a few days, but Chi Qian could clearly feel that the waist her arms wrapped around was far too thin.
Her wrist brushed against the sharp ridge of Shi Jinlan’s spine. A sob caught in her throat. “You’ve… lost weight.”
“It’s summer. I don’t have much of an appetite,” Shi Jinlan said lightly, trying to brush it off.
But how could Chi Qian believe such a clumsy excuse? “Liar.”
“Then punish me,” Shi Jinlan offered, her eyes watching Chi Qian intently.
Chi Qian looked at her, then leaned in and bit her lip.
“Sss—”
Shi Jinlan hissed, sucking in a sharp breath. She hadn’t expected Chi Qian to actually do it.
Even less had she expected Chi Qian to take advantage of that gasp to press forward.
And then she kissed her.
The author has something to say:
Qianqian: The Fierce Top3 is online!
Lanlan: Wife is back! Red envelopes in the comments! Mama’s treat.
Pigeon:4 looks tearfully at my little wallet QAQ
Footnotes
- Original: Mǒu Fēng (某丰). SF Express (Shùnfēng Kuàidì, 顺丰快递) is one of the largest and most well-known courier services in China.
- Original: shuǐcōng (水葱), literally ‘water onion’ or scallion. A common descriptor in Chinese literature for fair, slender, and delicate skin or fingers.
- Original: měng 1 (猛1). ‘1’ is internet slang in LGBTQ+ communities, derived from the 1/0 system, for the ‘top’ or dominant/insertive partner in a same-sex relationship. ‘Měng’ means fierce or ferocious.
- ‘Pigeon’ (gēzi, 鸽子) is internet slang for someone who flakes on promises, stands people up, or is late with updates. The author is humorously referring to herself.
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