Little Alpaca – Chapter 210

Volume 7: Extras

Extra 2

How did Little Bird Coo Coo Fly end up with a rushed, bad ending?

Hello everyone, I’m Little Bird Coo Coo Fly, a writer on Green River​¹ who loves to daydream. I specialize in writing “little sweet cakes.”​²

            

My most well-known and beloved works are probably 《XXXX》 and 《XXXXXX》. I’ve sold basically every copyright I could for them, and they’ve driven a lot of traffic to my other stories, both new and old.

But after becoming famous for these two works, I also started seeing a lot of comments that really bothered me. For example: “This author only knows how to write sweet stories using the oldest tropes,” “The emotional scenes are decent, but after a few books you realize the character archetypes are all the same,” “You could shuffle the protagonists’ names between her books and it wouldn’t make a difference,” “There’s absolutely no growth, it gets more boring the more you read.”

Personally, I feel differently about every single one of my characters. Even if their archetypes are similar, they are by no means the same. I could list so many of their differences, as could most of the readers who have been with me from the start. But the people who dismiss my work don’t care about those little details.

            

I know that no author can write a work that everyone likes. Even literary classics are controversial, so what can I expect for the cliché stories written by a humble storyteller like me?

But emotions are often uncontrollable. Those words got to me, because I’m a very thin-skinned person. Even though I knew the comment section should be for the readers, and no matter how hard I tried not to argue with people, I would still feel hurt. Most people are like that, aren’t they? A few words of praise can make you happy for a few minutes, but a single insult can make you miserable for an entire day. As a creator, I understand all too well that a sea of compliments can’t offset a single drop of malice. It’s like a needle hidden in a ball of soft cotton—it will still draw blood.

After all, it’s a sharp pain you feel while embracing something soft. You have no defenses up, and it pierces your heart when you least expect it.

            

It hurts far more than knowing the outcome will be bad and bracing yourself for a slap in the face.

I vented to a friend. I told her I hated this side of myself, so sensitive and fragile. My friend comforted me, saying that sensitivity comes from a strong capacity for empathy, which is a double-edged sword for a creator. It allows you to write stories that move people’s hearts, but it can also make you doubt yourself at any moment. “You need to find a balance,” she said.

She told me, “If you really care about those comments, then give it a try. Try stepping out of your comfort zone. Try writing in a style you’ve never attempted before.”

            

So I decided to change my style. Amid the supportive cheers of many readers, I spent a great deal of effort creating a brand-new world setting, carefully designing characters, and planning the plot. In just two short months, I felt an excitement I had never known before.

I absolutely loved this story. I loved every single person in it who had a name.

I’d only written a few draft chapters and hadn’t even smoothed out all the logical details, but I was already dying to start a new story.​³

            

And so, I took the plunge.

The hype from my old book hadn’t faded, and many of my old readers flocked to the new one. The stats were incredible. It got great placements on the rankings early on, and its growth was phenomenal. Although there were controversies in the comments that I didn’t dare to look at, there were also more and more reviews that made me happy.

—”I feel like Gugu’s writing style has changed so much this time, it’s almost not the Gugu I know. It’s like she grew up overnight.”

            

—”Saw the author’s name and thought it was a romance-focused sweet story, but after reading a dozen chapters I realized it’s actually plot-driven. I almost thought I was reading the wrong author. Bird-da, this book feels really different, keep it up. The pit is too shallow for now, I’ll let it grow for a while!”

—”As a long-time reader who has followed so many of Little Bird’s books, the protagonist’s character design this time really blew me away. This is the first time Little Bird has written a growth-type protagonist! Although he’s still very weak and there’s a lot of debate about him, I believe he’ll become strong in the future!”

I thought to myself that even though it was a new story in a new style, and there would inevitably be denials and prejudices from people who thought an author of “little sweet cakes” couldn’t handle a grand-scale plot, that was all the more reason for me to stick to my guns and present the story I wanted to write in its entirety.

            

So, while working hard to plant foreshadowing and write details, I also started going head-to-head​⁴ with readers to defend my work.

These readers pointing fingers at me now, if they can just hold on until the end when the whole story unfolds and all the foreshadowing is revealed to connect everything, they’ll be stunned. They’ll be thrilled. They’ll want to scream in their hearts, “Little Bird Coo Coo Fly is the eternal GOAT!”​⁵

Yes, that’s right. I was an author with a vision—at least, that’s how I saw myself in my heart.

            

What? You say the male lead is written too effeminately, that he’s nothing but a little white face​⁶ who needs the female lead to protect him everywhere?

It’s called growth, do you understand what growth is? Don’t characters need to grow? It’s perfectly normal for a pitiful little thing at the bottom of the hierarchy, trampled on by his martial brothers, to be a bit weak. He’ll definitely become a domineering badass who can fuck the heavens and the earth​⁷ in the future, okay?

What? You say the female lead has no self-respect, that her mouth is only for eating, and she never explains herself when things happen?

            

That’s called kindness, forbearance, and gentleness, don’t you get it? As a steady-minded senior martial sister, her actions are all motivated by the desire to protect the people she cares about. The character acts this way because that’s her personality. You can’t just assume that because you wouldn’t do the same in her situation, no one else should either. The world is full of diversity!

OOC?​⁸ There’s no OOC. I’m the author, how could I possibly write my own character OOC?

What do you know? Do you understand my characters better than I do?

            

You ask if You Yan ever loved the male lead? I think with something like love, it’s there if you say it is, and it’s not if you say it isn’t. It depends on what each person thinks. In any case, You Yan had a certain empathy for Luo Mingyuan… Huh? You’re asking why a Demon Lord would have empathy for the son of the Heavenly Emperor? Well… how should I put this… it’s in the background setting, but I haven’t had a chance to write it yet. What’s the rush? Just keep reading!

What? Yusu falling in love with the Jinwu feels really abrupt… Cough cough, it’s normal for a supporting female character to fall for the male lead, right? Besides, the male lead’s status is so dazzling, it’s perfectly normal for a yao to fall in love with him.

Let me just quietly mutter something here… actually, in my outline, I wrote that Yusu fell in love with Chao Yun. It was supposed to be a tragic romance, a clear-cut case of mutual love that couldn’t be, leading to deep angst. I wanted to create that sense of forbidden love, of “loving someone even if it means betraying the beliefs of a lifetime,” and that painful struggle between duty and freedom. But after I started the book, I saw a lot of “trigger warning” posts​⁹ on some forums saying that having danmei or yuri​¹⁰ CPs in a straight romance novel was a huge turn-off. That scared me out of writing it, didn’t it? The character was already introduced and needed to move the plot forward, so I had no choice but to make Yusu fall for Luo Mingyuan, right?

            

Huh? You say the hidden plotline about the fire on Snake Mountain was never explained? Well… um, there were plans for it, but later I felt it wasn’t necessary, so I cut it. Cutting it didn’t affect the ending, did it?

Actually, that hidden plotline was also about a yuri CP. A deer and a dog, incompatible as water and fire, throwing a tantrum and taking revenge on society so they could be together.

I actually quite liked that storyline. If it were possible, I really would have wanted to write it.

            

You ask why I didn’t?

Well, how do I say this… the negative comments just kept piling up.

I’m not saying I’m afraid of being criticized, it’s just…

            

It’s just that I feel I’ve let them down. Both the readers and the characters in my story.

Yeah, yeah… you’re right to criticize me. My writing got worse and worse. It started strong and ended weak.​¹¹

It was my first time writing a story like this, and I was lost. Such great exposure brought me so many new readers, and I read the comments every day, both the praise and the criticism.

            

I wanted so badly to write a story that would satisfy my readers. I had no buffer chapters, and every day I was writing based on my whims. Sometimes, just one or two negative comments would make me doubt if what I was writing was wrong, and I’d try to tone down that “mistake” in the next update.

But as I kept writing, I realized I was terribly, terribly wrong. Every time I tried to tone down one “mistake,” I was straying further from the main story I truly wanted to write.

I started to suffer. I wanted to turn back, but I couldn’t find a way. I could only force myself to keep writing, trying desperately to figure out how to make sense of the tangled logic.

            

Actually, I discussed it with my writer friend​¹² many times. Even with the plot and characters in their current state, if I had been willing, there were still many ways I could have used the earlier foreshadowing. I could still have gotten everything back on track and given the story a complete, acceptable ending. I’ve been writing for so many years; I have the logical ability, I have that skill. But I had lost the courage.

Because this story was no longer the story I had originally wanted to write, and every person in it was no longer the character I had originally wanted to write.

I ruined them. I felt that all the criticism in the comments was their revenge on me, my just deserts.

            

You know, I am the creator of this world. When this world crumbled at my hands, I was more heartbroken than anyone.

I began to dread opening my writing document. I began to resent the feeling of having to update on time every day. I began to fear opening my author dashboard, to fear seeing the comments, to regret not sticking to my original ideas.

Only one thought remained in my mind: Let it end. Stop desecrating this world I once loved.

            

So, I gave it a rotten ending.​¹³

So, all the promises I once made became empty words, a joke.

So, I was mocked by the masses, and I saw many long-time readers swear off all my books forever because of this one story.

            

But in that moment, I felt a sense of relief.

Amid the countless insults, I pulled up the notes on my phone, looking at all the plot holes that were never filled, all the foreshadowing that was planted and then completely forgotten.

I began to think: where did I start to go wrong? If I had written it differently, what kind of ending would there have been?

            

Then, I had a dream. In the dream, I saw a complete story. I saw a perfect ending.

It was the ending I wanted most, the story I had once most wanted to write. It felt like a real, living world, and every character was so vibrant.

You ask if I’ll go back and revise the book? I won’t. Because the story in that dream and the story I wrote are two completely different worlds. I don’t want to lump them together. That would be an insult to them.

            

People have to look forward, after all.

So I’ve decided to start a new book. It’s a story set in the same world. I want to compensate them in this world, to overturn the story of 《Thin, Withered Branches》 in this world.

This time, I will definitely write it well. I’ve even thought of the title. It’ll be called 《Mountains and Seas》.

            

“What is loved is separated by mountains and seas, mountains and seas can also be leveled.”​¹⁴ Doesn’t that sound steadfast and deeply affectionate right from the start? This will definitely be a great story. This time, I will stick to my vision!

So, see you in the next book. I’ll be back soon with a brand-new story!

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A certain alpaca named Yi Qiu, who wishes to remain anonymous: You pit-digger! You should go experience for yourself what kind of unlucky mess you’ve written in this “screw over one’s dad”​¹⁵ world!

            

Little Bird Coo Coo Fly: ???

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The author has something to say:

People have always asked, is Little Bird Coo Coo Fly a real person? I want to say, she is a fictional character, but if she did exist, she would definitely be me. This final chapter is Little Bird Coo Coo Fly’s confession, and also a warning to the past version of myself who had a million ideas but didn’t dare to write any of them, who was so timid that in the end, I could only hand in a conventional, barely-passing work. While writing this novel, I also experienced similar torment and pain, and made compromises that you all may not see, with details that were cut that no one cared about or even noticed. But I’m glad that in the end, it is a complete story, and that through my own internal struggle, I managed to preserve the story I originally wanted to write. Though there are regrets, I have no remorse.

            

While a story is being serialized, the author is subjected to many, many external interferences. It’s not about who is right or wrong, but I believe an author should indeed possess their own sensitivity and willfulness. It’s a double-edged sword. For example, if I were afraid to touch so-called ‘trigger points,’ then I would only be able to write stories that please others, stories that are, to me, very bland. I actually understand that often, the existence of controversy isn’t a bad thing. It just depends on whether the creator can bear and endure it, and derive their own insights from it. But I’m not a particularly strong person. I have my own sensitivities and frailties, and I often doubt myself. In order to persist, I have to affirm myself by denying others’ words during my internal struggles. In this process, I have indeed had conflicts with some readers, but it’s hard to say who was right or wrong. I can only say that from my own perspective, based on my understanding of my characters, I felt I was right, so I chose to persist, and afterwards, I would feel guilty and conflicted about my own words.

But no matter what, I truly hope I can become stronger and stronger, that I can step out of the uncontroversial comfort zone and write the stories I really want to write with abandon. This path may not be easy, but I want to walk it. I want future readers who discover my work to be able to say, “You’re really different from how you used to be.” In any case, this is a novel into which I poured a great deal of passion. I am very fortunate to have met all of you through it. The green mountains don’t change, and the clear waters flow forever—if fate allows, we’ll meet in the next book. Of course, if you find that my later books have regressed, I hope you won’t be disappointed in me. Just toss me aside for half a year, and maybe the book after that will be good again?

I won’t say much more. Everything I want to express is in the story. Let’s just let the story end where it should end. Let the people in the story live on in that world, in a place unseen by readers and no longer imagined by the author, living freely according to their own hearts.

            

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