Ex-Girlfriend – Chapter 35

by Little Panda

Volume 2: Power Over Court and Country

The Deposed Empress 10

Covering The Heaven With One Hand

Xin Lan was startled by these words, and with the alcohol energy rising to her head [alcohol taking effect], she felt tipsy.

“That’s true, if you, Yanyan, hadn’t entered official service and hadn’t entered the palace, we would have had no chance to meet, and I wouldn’t have been able to know such an extraordinary woman like you.”

Xin Lan wanted to raise her cup again, but discovered she had already finished her drink.

Qu Zhi’an was indeed a rare extraordinary woman of this era, and Xin Lan greatly admired her. If she could completely stand on the same side as her, then she would admire her even more.

Qu Zhi’an showed a dizzy smile, the soberness in her eyes replaced by haziness.

“What should be done in the future…”

Xin Lan heard Qu Zhi’an’s mumbling, watching her as she sat on the stool supporting her head.

“Yanyan…”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind, it’s nothing.”

Xin Lan hesitated for a moment, still didn’t speak.

In fact, Xin Lan wasn’t clear what she was hesitating about. She could actually accomplish what she wanted to do without relying on Qu Zhi’an, but with Qu Zhi’an’s help, she could better strike at the emperor’s soft rib [weak point]. If Qu Zhi’an remained ignorant, they would definitely end up in opposing positions, or slightly better, Qu Zhi’an might ignore her actions.

“Whatever you want to say, feel free to speak. Aren’t we good friends?”

Qu Zhi’an looked up, wearing a smile on her face.

Xin Lan paused, but still shook her head.

How could she tell someone that she wanted to plot rebellion, together?

In the end, she still didn’t trust Qu Zhi’an enough.

Her wanting to kill the emperor was understandable, and Qu Zhi’an likewise despised the emperor’s behavior, but this kind of thinking wasn’t enough to support her actions.

Xin Lan knew that Qu Zhi’an subjectively wanted to help her, and maybe even hoped she could succeed.

But to have her personally participate in doing this thing, she might be hesitant.

If someday Qu Zhi’an achieved success and fame, perhaps she could make things convenient for Xin Lan. When Xin Lan pushed Wu Yanqing down and welcomed a new person up, Qu Zhi’an might even lead others in kneeling [in allegiance].

Xin Lan wanted more than this, but also felt this wouldn’t be bad either, so she hesitated and didn’t speak up.

Qu Zhi’an looked at Xin Lan, and the atmosphere between the two people fell silent for a moment.

The two of them were actually thinking the same thing – Qu Zhi’an very much wanted to help Xin Lan, but was hesitant about exactly what Xin Lan was thinking.

After all, this could affect their future lives – walking different chess moves [taking different paths] might lead to heaven-and-earth turning over changes [complete changes in their lives].

Qu Zhi’an said she didn’t regret entering official service, and truly didn’t regret it – she only regretted meeting such an emperor.

If the emperor hadn’t deliberately schemed against the two of them, they would still have become acquainted.

One could only say the emperor had lifted a rock to drop on his own foot [Chinese idiom meaning: to harm oneself through one’s own actions].

That jar of Autumn Dew White wasn’t enough to make Qu Zhi’an drunk, but if she continued thinking deeply about this problem until it was clear, she got a headache, and if she tried to put the problem aside and not think about it, she hadn’t drunk enough to lose consciousness, so she couldn’t help but think about it again.

The best solution was actually to understand in her heart but pretend not to know, but she was afraid she couldn’t help but participate, not wanting to let Xin Lan busy herself alone.

Qu Zhi’an propped up her head looking at the woman opposite her, with lovely appearance, cheeks flushed light red from the alcohol, the showing color making people unable to resist being captivated.

Originally having a cold and stern temperament, yet possessing a face as colorful as spring flowers. If one looked at first glance, what caught attention first wasn’t that face, but rather those eyes containing sharp cold stars.

There is a saying about a red beautiful branch with condensed fragrant dew, clouds and rain on Wu Mountain breaking hearts in vain [reference to classical Chinese poetry about beauty and romance].

Such a good, delicate beauty who should be cherished at the tip of one’s heart [idiom meaning: deeply loved], how could anyone bear to repeatedly harm her?

Xin Lan called her an extraordinary woman, but wasn’t she herself also one of the few bold women in the world?

The two faced each other wordlessly, the atmosphere inevitably awkward.

Xin Lan rose somewhat unsteadily, staring at Qu Zhi’an’s face.

“Tonight’s wine is finished, I won’t disturb you any longer.”

“The night is already deep, and you’ve been drinking. Going back to the palace now might be inconvenient. My small courtyard has other rooms – if you want to stay, you can rest here.”

Qu Zhi’an didn’t know through what channel Xin Lan had come, but feared something might happen to her after drinking.

“No need.”

Xin Lan was somewhat drunk, but not so unclear-headed that she couldn’t walk. Returning tomorrow morning would be more conspicuous, better to sneak back during the night.

As Xin Lan walked to the door preparing to push it open, she heard Qu Zhi’an’s voice from behind.

“If… if I decide to walk back [meaning: retreat/change course], will we still be good friends?”

If they were to walk different paths, would they still be like now, able to drink together as good friends?

“We’ll be friends not enemies. Though we can’t say ‘different paths mean no cooperation’, some things still have distinctions between close and distant. If someday I need something from you, I’ll bring two liang of wine and come to disturb you.”

Xin Lan spoke these words clearly, also drawing that line clearly.

If the two weren’t allies, then naturally Xin Lan couldn’t be so comfortable with her anymore.

Qu Zhi’an’s three parts lost, three parts grievance mixed with three parts alcohol effect and one part regret, turned into complete bitterness.

“You should know some revenge must be taken, otherwise the anger can’t disperse, the mind can’t be at peace. He has repeatedly insulted me, between us there is deep hatred, not to mention the grudges between him and the Xin family. I just can’t stand seeing him well off. He clearly used our Xin family’s power to reach that position, now he finds the Xin family an eyesore and wants to eliminate me – I don’t blame him for that, but he drugged me in the first year of our marriage, showing this wasn’t a sudden thought but long-planned. Later he repeatedly degraded me, and even tried to smear me as unfaithful.”

Xin Lan turned around, her pair of beautiful eyes seemed to hide flames, scorching the listener’s heart.

“He shows me no benevolence, why should I show him mercy? Yanyan, I know you’re a clever person, you should know what I want to do,” Xin Lan paused, “You also know why I similarly don’t speak – your concerns are my concerns.”

The advantage of talking to clever people is they can guess your unfinished words, but the bad point is also this – what you haven’t yet expressed, others already know.

“I am decisive in doing things, no matter what I do I like to make everything clear. If you choose to walk the same path with me, then you won’t be allowed to regret it. If you develop even a bit of hesitation in your heart, I will be displeased. So, Official Qu Zhi’an, I hope you can carefully consider clearly.”

She didn’t call her Yanyan anymore, but called her Qu Zhi’an and Official Qu.

Qu Zhi’an’s heart felt a little sad, no, very sad.

The alcohol made her thinking ability less clear, emotions defeated reason, making her feel very wronged.

She wanted to be good friends with this person, because they knew each other’s secrets, she didn’t need to pretend in front of her.

They had even shared the same bathtub and drunk together, how could they say they wouldn’t associate just because they took different paths?

Indeed, she asked first, and Xin Lan gave a clear answer.

And though she clearly knew the answer would be like this, she still had to ask.

Xin Lan looked at Qu Zhi’an’s furrowed brows and bitter face [worried face], feeling somewhat helpless and also somewhat amused.

Perhaps this is like the old saying, “loyalty and righteousness have always been hard to fulfill together” [classical Chinese saying]. Although Qu Zhi’an may not be very loyal to Wu Yanqing, she had never thought about rebellion.

But Xin Lan was determined to plot to seize the throne, she must pull that person down from that position, let him taste what loss means, what it means to have nothing.

On this path, she absolutely wouldn’t allow her allies to have thoughts of regret.

Qu Zhi’an remained silent without responding, and Xin Lan spoke again.

“Do you know why I came to find you again tonight? Because I don’t want a strong enemy to appear later, and, you know, Wu Yanqing sees you as a useful official now, and also as a woman he favors. If you could stab him in the back harshly, his reaction would be so shocked, so interesting.”

Xin Lan didn’t hide the pleasure on her face when speaking about this hypothesis, displaying it plainly before Qu Zhi’an.

“I’m saying all this to let you know I don’t want to make you my chess piece, and I’m not afraid of you telling Wu Yanqing I have these thoughts.”

“Won’t tell him, you know clearly I couldn’t possibly do that.”

Qu Zhi’an immediately retorted, how could she possibly tell the emperor such things?

She couldn’t protect Xin Lan fast enough, how could she add frost to snow [make her situation worse]?

“So,” Xin Lan stared at Qu Zhi’an, her gaze like a tiger locking onto prey, stepping closer unhurriedly, “has Yanyan decided?”

She softened her voice, intimately calling her name, her voice seemingly coated with honey.

Qu Zhi’an felt even more dizzy, wanting to think, but her mind was wandering like horses galloping in the sky [who knows where].

“Whether you have the courage to become my ally – I won’t force you, but I also don’t like dragging things out. If you can’t answer me tonight, then I’ll come again tomorrow.”

Xin Lan straightened her body, hands dropping to her sides, a light smile appearing on her face.

Not as pressing as before, revealing a daughter-like subtlety [feminine gentleness].

Thanks to the tempering of hundreds of villain worlds, she had always possessed female hosts, so she had developed some softness, her personality no longer too much like a steel straight man [Chinese internet slang for overly rigid/masculine], but slowly changing.

After all, female Alphas don’t have that kind of organ on their bodies, they all rely on pheromones to conquer Omegas.

Thinking of this, she remembered her first time in the villain world, when her host vessel was the white lotus [Chinese term for seemingly pure/innocent] type like Concubine Man, she tried to intimidate others with her gaze. Although she couldn’t emit pheromones, the aura was the same, but that person actually thought she was making eyes at them, angering her so much she beat them up right there, teaching them the consequences of misreading eye contact.

This time before Xin Lan could reach the door to push it open, Qu Zhi’an grabbed her hand.

“Stay here tonight to rest, anyway no one will look for you in the Cold Palace.”

“Has Yanyan really decided?”

“I’ve decided,” Qu Zhi’an’s eyes also carried a smile, “If your personality were gentler, if you had come crying to me, I probably would have been hair rising in anger [enraged to action] long ago.”

“Oh? Is Yanyan complaining that I don’t know how to share my grievances?”

“But if you were to complain of grievances, you wouldn’t be Miss Xin anymore.”

The smile in Qu Zhi’an’s eyes grew softer. Xin Lan was like the king of beasts whose gaze could look down upon all living things [idiom meaning: commanding presence]. If she really showed a weak appearance with tears like pear blossoms [poetic description of crying], it wouldn’t be like her at all.

She happened to love this cool and sharp appearance of hers, making others pale in comparison by three parts [idiom meaning: making others seem inferior].

“If this emperor isn’t good, then we’ll change emperors to serve loyalty to, it’s all the same.”

Qu Zhi’an’s voice was soft, dispersing into the night.

She left home to live freely, why should she endure an emperor who covets her, wronging herself, and also wronging her Miss Xin.

LP: Re-translated on December 20, 2024