After Being Scummed – Chapter 1
by Little PandaDirector Yin1, Rest Assured, I Didn’t See Anything Today.
April 21st, the 51st Thorn Flower Award2 ceremony was held in Haicheng3. At the award venue, countless lights flickered. Stars big and small sat in the guest seats, converging into a sea of stars.
Yin Bai4 sat in the most conspicuous VIP seat, gripping her cane tightly, her cold gaze fixed on the award stage.
At this very moment, on the stage, the young female director Lu Qing5, winner of the “Best Director Award,” held her trophy. Under the spotlight, before countless cameras, she concisely delivered her acceptance speech.
Just then, she paused, looked towards her main creative team, and said with tears in her eyes, “Besides them, I also want to thank my muse, the female lead of 《Little House Last Night》6, Teacher Xiao Nian7.”
Hearing this, Yin Bai subconsciously turned her head, looking towards Xiao Nian through the crowd. Simultaneously, a spotlight shone on Xiao Nian.
Xiao Nian wore a rose-red, off-the-shoulder evening gown, her black hair coiled up like cloudlike tresses, more beautiful than any bride. Compared to when Yin Bai first met her, Xiao Nian had become more mature, and also more charming.
Thinking of this, Yin Bai felt another pang in her heart. She tightened her grip on the cane, wanting to rely on it for support to continue listening.
Yin Bai tilted her head and saw Xiao Nian under the spotlight, head raised, eyes brimming with tears, looking deeply moved.
Lu Qing’s voice came clearly from the stage: “She is not just the female lead in my movie, but also the female lead in my life, my muse, my soulmate8.”
“So here, in front of everyone, I want to say seriously, Teacher Xiao Nian, I love you!”
As Lu Qing’s words fell, the audience below erupted in an uproar. Just as everyone was astonished by her bold confession, Lu Qing picked up the microphone and, with even more force, risking everything, shouted: “Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with me? Teacher Xiao Nian!”
The audience fell silent for a moment, then burst into even more thunderous applause.
Amidst the cheers, Yin Bai clearly saw Xiao Nian raise her hand, wipe away her tears, rise with a smile on her face, lift her skirt, and run like a little bird towards Lu Qing on the stage.
At that moment, Yin Bai felt Xiao Nian was like a moth plunging into a sea of fire9—reckless, irrational, yet vividly alive and captivating.
It was a side of Xiao Nian she had never shown her, a look she could never possess.
Yin Bai looked up, watching Lu Qing on stage open her arms and embrace Xiao Nian. The two kissed before countless cameras, and huge cheers surged towards them like a tidal wave. At this moment, Yin Bai clearly heard something shatter within her heart.
It was her glass heart.
It was her fragile glass heart, after deceiving herself for three months, finally forced to face reality.
Xiao Nian had never loved her. Even though they had been together for nearly seven years, in Xiao Nian’s eyes, she was merely a villainous patron10 who coveted her body and reeked of money11.
Everything was over.
Yin Bai looked at the couple embracing and weeping on stage, discovering that aside from feeling ice-cold all over, she surprisingly had no other reaction.
Perhaps she had already vented everything on the night three months ago when Xiao Nian came clean to her.
Forget it. Not being able to attain love wasn’t such a big deal. Perhaps someone like her didn’t deserve anyone’s love.
Yin Bai took one last deep look at the stage, firmly engraving Xiao Nian’s current appearance into her heart, then stood up. Leaning on her cane, she turned her back to the noisy crowd and walked towards the darkness.
The clamor behind her faded into the distance. Yin Bai walked haltingly out of the venue and arrived at the underground parking garage.
Her assistant, Zhang Yu12, was already waiting there. Seeing her approach, Zhang Yu hurried forward: “Boss, why are you out so early? Should we head straight to the banquet hall now?”
Yin Bai’s eyes were red-rimmed. She glanced at Zhang Yu without speaking.
Seeing her mood was off, Zhang Yu quickly said carefully, “You look tired today. How about I just take you home later?”
Yin Bai didn’t speak. The scene of those lovers embracing in front of everyone flashed through her mind again, filling her heart with both jealousy and grievance.
Seven years! She and Xiao Nian were together for seven years! For these seven years, she gave Xiao Nian whatever she wanted, boosting her step by step to this position. Yet it couldn’t compare to one movie by Lu Qing, one sentence: “She is my muse!”
Why? Why! She was clearly the one who came first! In the beginning, Xiao Nian was her muse, her “Little Rose”!
The more Yin Bai thought, the angrier she became, feeling a suffocating bitterness she couldn’t vent. She hobbled to her car, leaning on her cane, then lifted it and started banging furiously on the hood of her Maserati: Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! “Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!”
“Damn it! Proposing in public! Proposing in public!”
“Is being loved by her so amazing! You’ve gotten everything, why do you still have to flaunt it in front of me!”
Zhang Yu was stunned for a moment, then quickly rushed forward, half-pulling Yin Bai back, trying to stop her: “Okay, okay, boss, calm down, it’s not worth it, not worth it. If the car gets damaged, it’ll cost a lot to repair.”
Yin Bai looked up, glared at her, and said fiercely, “I have money!”
Okay, you have money.
Zhang Yu quickly took a step back, making a “please continue” gesture with her hand: “Then please, keep smashing.”
Yin Bai shot her a glance, lifted her cane, and started banging wildly on her car hood again. Thwack! Thwack!
“Damn it, damn it! Damn that Lu Qing, I hope your movies flop! I hope you spend your whole life stuck with Xiao Nian and never find another muse! I hope you can never make another movie without Xiao Nian!”
“Damn it, damn it!”
Yin Bai raised her cane, venting her frustration on her car. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Just then, the sharp-eyed Zhang Yu saw someone approaching them from not far away. Zhang Yu quickly reached out and tugged Yin Bai’s sleeve, warning, “Boss, boss!”
Yin Bai turned her head, cane still raised, eyes bloodshot, glaring fiercely at her. What? She could afford to fix the car she was smashing. She was feeling so miserable right now, couldn’t she even vent a little?
Zhang Yu quickly spoke in a low voice, reminding her: “Someone’s coming.”
Hearing this, Yin Bai quickly looked up towards the approaching figure. In the dim parking garage, the clack-clack-clack of high heels echoed, each sound exploding near her ears.
A woman in a white narcissus-patterned, waist-cinching evening gown, wearing exquisite makeup, approached Yin Bai with her assistant. Yin Bai planted her cane on the ground. Recognizing the person, her heart instantly jolted.
What rotten luck, it was actually Zuo Jingyou13—Xiao Nian’s arch-rival in the entertainment industry! Even worse, Zuo Jingyou was one of the few people in the industry who had accidentally witnessed Yin Bai and Xiao Nian being intimate.
The moment Yin Bai saw her, she remembered the last time she and Xiao Nian argued at a private banquet, how she had tearfully begged Xiao Nian to stay by her side. Ever since Zuo Jingyou had stumbled upon that scene too, Zuo Jingyou had become someone Yin Bai never wanted to encounter again.
But wouldn’t you know it, Heaven seemed determined to work against her14, as if afraid she wouldn’t die of terminal embarrassment15, letting Zuo Jingyou witness another awkward moment.
However, having experienced this sort of thing a few times, Yin Bai had become much more composed. She gripped the cane planted on the ground tightly, pretended not to see Zuo Jingyou, and said to Zhang Yu with a blank expression, “Let’s go home.”
Zhang Yu hurried to open the car door. Yin Bai, leaning on her cane, started towards the back seat. Just as she took a step, Zuo Jingyou arrived with her assistant and greeted her, “Director Yin? Long time no see.”
Hearing her voice, Yin Bai’s scalp tightened. She had no choice but to lean on her cane, look up at Zuo Jingyou, and force a business smile: “Long time no see, Miss Zuo.”
At this moment, the corners of Yin Bai’s eyes were crimson, her face pale, looking slightly disheveled. Seeing her expression like that of a wounded little animal, Zuo Jingyou was somewhat surprised: “Director Yin, are you…”
As Zuo Jingyou spoke, her gaze swept over the slightly dented hood of the Maserati. Recalling the scene of Xiao Nian and Lu Qing embracing on the stage earlier, understanding dawned instantly.
Zuo Jingyou showed an apologetic expression: “Sorry to disturb you, Director Yin. I didn’t see anything today.”
Zuo Jingyou apologized again, adding, “I’ll be leaving first. Director Yin, please drive carefully.” After speaking, she led her own curious assistant, who was craning her neck, and turned to leave.
Didn’t see anything? What did she mean she didn’t see anything? That means she saw it, right? She definitely saw it!
Yin Bai stood rooted to the spot, leaning on her cane, watching Zuo Jingyou leave. Only after Zuo Jingyou was gone did Yin Bai turn, get into the car, sit in the back seat gripping her cane, her expression extremely heavy.
Zhang Yu started the car, driving her out of the underground parking garage.
After the car had been driving for a while, Yin Bai, clutching her cane, awkwardly asked Zhang Yu in the front seat, “Just now… Miss Zuo probably didn’t see, right?”
Zhang Yu was baffled by the question. It took her a moment to realize what Yin Bai was asking. Zhang Yu paused, then answered uncertainly, “The lighting in the parking garage wasn’t good, she probably didn’t see…”
Yin Bai wrestled with it internally for a long while, finally leaning against the car window in resignation16, sighing, “Forget it… let it be…” What did it matter if she saw or not? Zuo Jingyou had already seen her at her most pathetic anyway.
Yin Bai felt a bit tired. She leaned against the window, watching the ambiguous, hazy neon lights filter through the glass, her mind blank. Everything related to Xiao Nian flashed through her mind like images in a revolving lantern17. The last thing that appeared was her final conversation with Xiao Nian, three months ago.
It was at a major director’s private banquet. That was the first time she had lost her composure, dragging Xiao Nian to attend. But in the villa’s back garden, Xiao Nian, who had always been obedient to her, argued with her.
In the cold, windy back garden, Xiao Nian’s voice was as cold as the wind: “Director Yin, our relationship was purely contractual, and it ended last year. I appreciate you cultivating me, and I’ve always worked desperately to earn money for you, repaying the fame and fortune you brought me with money.”
“That was my choice before, but I don’t want this anymore. I have someone I love now, and I truly want to end this relationship. Even if you blacklist me, shelve me, use every means to imprison me, I will still leave you!”
“Do you understand?”
Xiao Nian’s resolve was so firm. Even though Yin Bai had long known her temperament, she was still deeply hurt. Leaning on her cane, she held Xiao Nian’s hand, feeling ice-cold all over.
Yin Bai held back and held back, but finally couldn’t restrain herself, saying with tears glistening in her eyes, “I thought… between us, there was at least… a little love…”
Xiao Nian took a deep breath, bit her lip looking at her, her expression a mixture of pity and sympathy, “Yin Bai, I’m very grateful to you, truly. But… I never loved you. I can sacrifice everything for my choices—self-respect, soul, body18… none of it matters.”
“But, I cannot deceive you, nor can I deceive myself… I never loved you, means I never loved you.”
Xiao Nian reached out, pushed her hand away, and looked at her quietly, saying, “Let go. If you want revenge, take it out on me. It’s my problem. You are a good person, but I cannot reciprocate your love.”
Her hand suddenly empty, for that instant, Yin Bai’s mind went blank, feeling as if she had fallen into an abyss.
She finally panicked. Letting go of her cane, she grabbed Xiao Nian’s hands with both of hers, clutching her arms tightly, losing her composure and pleading, “I know you love Lu Qing. I don’t… I don’t mind you loving her…”
“But can you please not leave me?”
“I have money… lots and lots of money… You can be with her, I’ll give her money to make movies, you can be her female lead, nothing has to change…”
Yin Bai spoke incoherently, acting recklessly out of despair19, making a final attempt to keep her: “So can you, can you please not leave me?”
Xiao Nian looked at her quietly, her tear-filled eyes very soft: “Don’t be like this… don’t be like this… Yin Bai…”
“You deserve better… I don’t love you… I’m not worthy…”
In the end, Xiao Nian still pushed Yin Bai’s hands away, left her standing there, and walked away without looking back.
Yin Bai finally understood her determination. Even after she had said such absurd and laughable things, Xiao Nian remained unmoved. Nothing she could do would make her stay.
She stood there, watching Xiao Nian leave, filled with a bitterness she couldn’t vent. She wanted to cry, but it was too pathetic. She even wanted to make threats, that if Xiao Nian left her, she would ruin both her and Lu Qing’s reputations20.
But as soon as she thought of Xiao Nian’s determined expression, saying she wasn’t afraid of anything, Yin Bai deflated.
She knew clearly, no matter what she did, Xiao Nian could never love her.
Yin Bai could only watch helplessly as Xiao Nian walked further away, until her figure disappeared from view. Only then did she angrily pick up her cane and swing it at the surrounding ornamental trees.
“Damn it!”
But with that swing, her body became unstable, her foot slipped, and she fell right onto the ground. When the back of her head hit the ground, Yin Bai’s mind went completely blank.
She gripped her cane, sprawled on the ground, pathetic like a pancake flattened on a griddle. Her whole body felt so cold, her heart astringent and aching… Tears shamelessly slid from the corners of her eyes. She raised her hand, covering her eyes with her sleeve, trying to stop her pathetic display. But the tears flowed even more fiercely. Like an unwanted puppy, she began to whimper uncontrollably, wuwuwu.
Just as Yin Bai was lost in her misery, the sound of high heels quietly approached. Yin Bai’s sharp ears caught the sound. She immediately wiped away her tears with her hand, propped herself up with one hand, and stood up from the ground.
The entire movement was fluid, done in one go. Yin Bai stood in the dim garden, leaning on her cane, looking utterly wretched, her gaze fierce as she looked towards the newcomer.
The newcomer’s footsteps paused. She held a handkerchief in her hand, her exquisitely made-up face meeting Yin Bai’s gaze, a hint of surprise in her eyes: “Director Yin…”
Yin Bai looked at the woman quietly, giving an indifferent21 nod: “Mm.” She walked forward leaning on her cane, passing the woman with a cold expression, using an aloof mask to hide her embarrassment.
As they passed each other, the woman still called out to her: “Director Yin…”
Yin Bai stopped, turned her head towards the woman, her gaze even fiercer: “Is there something, Miss Zuo?”
Zuo Jingyou looked at the wretched state of her face and couldn’t bear it, offering the handkerchief: “You should wipe your face, Director Yin… You probably shouldn’t go back into the venue for a bit. Go to the restroom first to clean up. Your clothes are dirty.”
Zuo Jingyou paused, then said very seriously to Yin Bai, “I’m not a meddlesome person. I didn’t see anything tonight.”
At that moment, Yin Bai felt her heart stop, and she sucked in a cold breath. She tightened her grip on the cane in her hand, looking at the beautiful woman before her, feeling like a prisoner sentenced to death, wishing she could just die immediately.
That was truly a terrible night.
Every time she remembered it, Yin Bai wished she could just die.
As the memory reached this point, all of Yin Bai’s sad emotions were about to be killed off by her own embarrassment. She raised her hand to cover her face, a sense of regret rising in her heart.
Was it too late to silence the witness by murder? Probably too late, right? Forget it, might as well just let herself die!
Yin Bai took a deep breath, lowered the hand covering her face, and instructed Zhang Yu, “Cancel all my appointments for this month. For all business collaborations, have them contact Jin Xiangyu22 directly.”
Zhang Yu: “Okay.”
Yin Bai felt this year was probably an unlucky one23 for her. Ever since the New Year, she’d either been dumped or caught in embarrassing situations. So, perhaps it was best she didn’t go out often this year.
The author has something to say:
New novel launch!
This time it’s a story about a generous spender known for being a sucker24 and the white moonlight25 of many people!
Hehehehe…
Although the synopsis gave trigger warnings26, I still have to say it in the main text: Teacher Zuo was married and has a child. Yin Bai really did love Xiao Nian…
Hope everyone can support the new novel! Thanks!
LP: Re-translated on April 16, 2025
Footnotes
- 尹董 | Yǐn Dǒng | Dong (董) is short for 董事长 (dǒngshìzhǎng), meaning Chairman/Director.
- 荆棘花奖 | Jīngjí Huā Jiǎng
- 海城 | Hǎichéng | Lit. “Sea City”.
- 尹白 | Yǐn Bái
- 路清 | Lù Qīng
- 《小楼昨夜》 | Xiǎo Lóu Zuóyè
- 萧念 | Xiāo Niàn | 老师 (lǎoshī – teacher) is often used as a respectful title in the entertainment industry for established figures like actors or directors.
- 知音 | zhīyīn | Lit. “know sound”; Refers to a close, understanding friend or soulmate, often in an artistic or intellectual sense.
- 扑向火海的飞蛾 | pū xiàng huǒ hǎi de fēi é | A common metaphor for pursuing something passionately despite obvious danger or self-destruction.
- 金主 | jīnzhǔ | Lit. “gold master.” Refers to a wealthy financial backer or patron, often implying a transactional relationship with romantic or sexual undertones, sometimes translated as ‘sugar daddy/mommy’.
- 满身铜臭气 | mǎn shēn tóng chòu qì | Lit. “body full of copper stink smell”; An idiom describing someone obsessed with money, having the stench of money/materialism.
- 张钰 | Zhāng Yù
- 左静幽 | Zuǒ Jìngyōu
- 老天爷成天和她作对 | lǎo tiān ye chéng tiān hé tā zuò duì | Lit. “Old Man Heaven is always opposing her”; A colloquial phrase meaning fate or luck is constantly against someone.
- 尴尬癌 | gāngà ái | Lit. “embarrassment cancer”; Modern slang describing extreme, almost physically painful embarrassment or ‘cringe’.
- 自暴自弃 | zì bào zì qì | Lit. “give oneself up to abuse, abandon oneself”; An idiom meaning to abandon oneself to despair, to give up on oneself.
- 走马灯 | zǒu mǎ dēng | Lit. “running horse lamp”; A traditional lantern with rotating figures inside, used metaphorically for memories flashing quickly through one’s mind.
- Original text uses □□, likely censoring 肉体 (ròutǐ – body/flesh) or a similar term referring to physical intimacy/body.
- 破罐子破摔 | pò guàn zi pò shuāi | Lit. “smash a cracked pot”; An idiom meaning to act recklessly or give up caring about consequences when things are already bad.
- 身败名裂 | shēn bài míng liè | Lit. “body defeated name split”; An idiom meaning to lose both fortune and reputation; to be utterly discredited and ruined.
- 不咸不淡 | bù xián bù dàn | Lit. “not salty not bland”; An idiom meaning lukewarm, indifferent, or insipid.
- 金镶玉 | Jīn Xiāngyù
- 流年不利 | liú nián bù lì | Lit. “fleeting years not favorable”; An idiom meaning to have an unlucky year or a period of bad luck.
- 散财童子有名冤大头 | sàn cái tóngzǐ yǒumíng yuāndàtóu | 散财童子 (sàn cái tóngzǐ) refers to Sudhana, a figure known for giving things away, implying generosity. 冤大头 (yuāndàtóu) means a sucker or someone easily taken advantage of financially. Together, it describes a character who spends money freely and is easily exploited.
- 白月光 | bái yuè guāng | Lit. “white moonlight”; A popular webnovel term referring to an unforgettable past love or idealized person, often someone unattainable.
- 排雷 | pái léi | Lit. “clear mines”; Webnovel slang for providing trigger warnings or pointing out potentially disliked tropes/content upfront.
- 非双洁 | fēi shuāng jié | Lit. “not double clean/pure”; Webnovel slang indicating that the main couple are not each other’s first partners (i.e., not virgins, or have had previous relationships).
Thank you for picking up this novel.
When I saw the synopsis, I was quite sure this novel will be involved with calculative characters who hurt the MC and dumbed her for good after using her, but I knew now that there’s more than meets the eye.
There were countless good reviews for this novel on jjwxc, and I can’t wait to read more of this. I added some tags on NU based on the review I read, but if these tags were incorrect, I will change them in the future.
Thank you for the tags :) I’ll do my best
Rlly excited for this story, read most of the MTL so I know how the story unfolds but it’s exciting to finally read the proper TL without burning my brain 😭. It’s a rlly beautiful love story honestly and the way it unfolds too between the two main characters :))
Thanks again translator for picking it up 🩵
As well I just love how hehe I will not spoil it but you get to understand there’s more than meets the eye
Thank you for picking up this novel.
When I saw the synopsis, I was quite sure this novel will be involved with calculative characters who hurt the MC and dumbed her for good after using her, but I knew now that there’s more than meets the eye.
There were countless good reviews for this novel on jjwxc, and I can’t wait to read more of this. I added some tags on NU based on the review I read, but if these tags were incorrect, I will change them in the future.
Thank you for the tags :) I’ll do my best
Rlly excited for this story, read most of the MTL so I know how the story unfolds but it’s exciting to finally read the proper TL without burning my brain 😭. It’s a rlly beautiful love story honestly and the way it unfolds too between the two main characters :))
Thanks again translator for picking it up 🩵
As well I just love how hehe I will not spoil it but you get to understand there’s more than meets the eye
Thank you for the translations! This is an interesting start.
Thank you for the translations! This is an interesting start.