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Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 66

Don’t Want a Divorce (End)

“I want her to no longer look down on me, understand?”

Hearing Feng Qingyu say this, Xu Jiao was stunned for two seconds. The words of refusal had not yet come out of her mouth when Feng Qingyu urged again: “Hurry up, isn’t your next scene about to start?”

Sure enough.

In the distance, the assistant director was already holding a megaphone and urging. Xu Jiao’s new assistant had gone to buy a warm baby1 for her earlier. Now, not finding her in the usual resting place, when she finally found her, she was panting heavily.

“Si- Sister Jiao… director, director said the next scene is about to—”

In her out-of-breath voice, Xu Jiao nodded lightly and replied: “Got it, I’ll go now.”

Since the crew over there was urging, Xu Jiao didn’t continue to politely entangle with Feng Qingyu here. She turned and headed over there. Because it was already around the time of the Lunar New Year, the weather was very cold. The water droplets from washing her face earlier hadn’t dried, and now with the cold wind blowing, it made her face feel as if it was being cut by small knives, chilly and sharp.

Feng Qingyu called her assistant, handed her a tissue, and asked her to give it to Xu Jiao.

The young assistant chased after her, and Xu Jiao tilted her head to take the tissue, casually dabbed her face, then went to let the makeup artist touch up her makeup, and immediately entered into her acting state.

After another take, Xu Jiao inadvertently turned her head and saw Feng Qingyu sitting in her usual resting spot off set. Because Xu Jiao usually liked to stay away from crowded places, her resting spot was also quite deserted, as if isolated from the entire world.

When Xu Jiao herself sat there, she didn’t feel anything, but when she saw Feng Qingyu sitting quietly in that spot, very occasionally, Xu Jiao would have a feeling that this person seemed to have suddenly crossed the entire world to come before her.

Everyone gradually got used to Feng Qingyu being there, so they didn’t pay much attention to that side anymore. Only Xu Jiao would look over there, and after looking for a long time, she almost couldn’t distinguish between reality and illusion.

Just like Feng Qingyu had said earlier, Xu Jiao almost started to see her as the person she used to like.

She thought that person had come back to her side.

After all…

Feng Qingyu was also that gentle.

“Cut! That’s a wrap for today!” The director stood up from behind the monitor, waving his hand to announce the news. The crew collectively breathed a sigh of relief. Qiu Yongli raised her hand to high-five Xu Jiao, then said to her with a cheerful smile:

“I saw Sister Yu guarding you all day today. Do you want to invite her for a late-night snack later… eh? Where is she?”

Qiu Yongli’s gaze swept around the set.

But where could Feng Qingyu’s traces be found now?

This person, just like when she came, was silent, and she left just as quietly. By the time everyone realized, she was no longer in the spot where she had been waiting before.

Xu Jiao followed her gaze to the previous seat. Even the small folding stool had been put away, leaving it empty, with no trace of the bitter orange scent.

Even the wind blowing through was clean and pure.

She pressed her lips together and simply said, “She went back first. No need to invite her, let’s go.”

Qiu Yongli nodded half-understandingly and soon put the matter behind her. She warmly linked arms with Xu Jiao, showing none of the cold demeanor she had when playing the role of a bionic person. Like a chirping little sparrow, she began telling Xu Jiao stories about which bar she had visited a couple of days ago.

……

During the entire filming of 《Qingyu An》.

The entire crew could occasionally see Feng Qingyu’s figure, but she always came and went in a hurry, only watching Xu Jiao from a distance. When Xu Jiao’s scenes were about to finish, she would leave early.

No one had ever seen the two of them together.

Some people sighed at Feng Qingyu’s unobtrusive thoughtfulness, as she was worried that being with Xu Jiao would prevent Xu Jiao from maintaining her focus on filming. Therefore, she suppressed her feelings and watched from afar. Clearly, the two of them were married partners, yet Feng Qingyu adhered to the rules and didn’t disturb Xu Jiao’s acting state.

Others, astute from observing their unspoken meetings, guessed something, and only sighed inwardly, without spreading any messy rumors outside.

Until 《Qingyu An》 was about to wrap up—

Feng Qingyu never came again.

That day, Xu Jiao opened the chat window with Feng Qingyu and found that their chat history still stopped at a few months ago when Feng Qingyu asked her to take the documents to handle the divorce procedures.

It seemed that Feng Qingyu had already said her farewell to her at the previous hotel.

She knew that Xu Jiao would never fall in love with her, so she only guarded her own heart, no longer taking the initiative to get close, unless… Xu Jiao changed her mind.

…..

《Qingyu An》 started filming at the end of the previous year and continued until around March or April of the following year. By the time the special effects were finished and the film was scheduled for release, it was already the end of the year.

During this period, Xu Jiao did not take on any other projects, just waiting for the White Peony Awards ceremony.

Because 《The Palace Wall Willows》 had ten nominations at this ceremony—

Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Screenplay, Best Director, Best Music…

And so on.

Xu Jiao was waiting for the results of 《The Palace Wall Willows》, and in the meantime, 《Qingyu An》 had somewhat worn her out. During her hiatus, she traveled to many places in this world and tasted a lot of delicious food. Every time she posted on Weibo, it would elicit excited responses from her fans.

Later, whenever her fans saw her posting pictures, they would tease her in the comments:

“The food blogger is back in business!”

(If you're not reading on littlepandatranslations.com, it means this has been stolen)

“This is clearly an internet celebrity blogger!”

“A celebrity who can’t cook isn’t a good internet celebrity? [oe]2

“Long time no see you interact with Sister Yu, did you guys get divorced?”

“Even the reincarnated Noble Consort is living so well! I’m so jealous! Damn it!”

Most of the time, Xu Jiao would pick the ones she could reply to, but interacting with fans didn’t take up much of her life. She lived a rich and colorful life by herself, even self-learning skills like painting, until the day of the White Peony Awards ceremony.

This day happened to be the preview day for 《Qingyu An》.

The entire crew was very nervous about the audience’s feedback because if the preview effect was not good, it would directly affect the real-time box office predictions for the later stages, significantly impacting the scheduling and profits of the theaters in the later stages.

……

“Isn’t the romance film by Qiu Yongli and Xu Jiao being released today? Speaking of which, ever since ‘Q’, Xu Sajiao has become extremely popular, right? But instead of continuing to stay in the spotlight at the peak of her fame, she chose to take a break. Is there a reason for this? Could this be her last work?”

“Waiting for the first batch of audience reviews for 《Qingyu An》… I’m also very curious. Has no one noticed? Xu Sajiao hasn’t interacted with Feng Qingyu on Weibo in the past six months, and those endorsements and brand collaborations by Feng Qingyu didn’t include Xu Sajiao. What’s going on? Did the Concubine P break up in reality? Did Xu Sajiao leave the entertainment industry due to a broken heart?”

“Oh my god, no, no, no! I can’t accept this! Other CPs are just for show, but Feng Jiao Ri Nuan actually got their marriage certificate! How can they break up?”

“Two hours have passed, and none of you have checked the real-time box office for the preview? It’s almost ten million already! I just saw several apps adjust the box office forecast for 《Qingyu An》 to two billion! Aren’t you going to take a look?”

“I finished watching it—I’m back to report! Everyone, bring tissues, bring tissues, bring tissues, I can’t stress this enough! I’ll briefly praise some elements: the special effects are really amazing, I felt like I was playing a large-scale live-action 3D future game in the cinema! There were so many things that blew my mind! The screenwriter’s creativity is incredible! Why doesn’t he win a sci-fi award? And of course, the absolutely beautiful love story made me cry. In short, it’s about someone parting with their lover a hundred years ago and waking up a hundred years later to find only a bionic person who looks like their beloved… Alright, I won’t spoil anymore![oe]”

“Is it a BE or an HE? Fragile beings like me can’t handle the shock! Please, everyone, tell me if they end up together!”

“The following comments contain spoilers! The screenwriter’s imagination is really wild! The female lead, Zhi Liao, wakes up a hundred years later, taught by a bionic person who looks exactly like her lover to survive in the new world. She finds she can’t forget her lover and drags the bionic person, who looks like her lover, to teach her how to fall in love. At this point, I thought the screenwriter was doing a melodramatic substitute trope! But that’s not the case! At the end, the bionic person never learns how to love, and even has to be sent back for repairs due to being outdated. However… after the repairs, she finds a new memory file and loads it… Oh my, it’s an HE! Xia Weiyang never wanted to leave Zhi Liao! She knew she wouldn’t live for a hundred years, so she left all her life’s memories and planned from the beginning to load them to accompany her after a hundred years! QAQ! Although there were misunderstandings, they eventually reunited!”

“The sister upstairs voiced my thoughts! I was really scared that Zhi Liao wouldn’t find her lover and would spend her life in despair and loneliness! But! Haha! This is a commercial romance film, how can it be a BE! I want to praise the director and the two main actors! From today, I’m a fan of Xia Zhi Liao CP!

I’m also a fan of the Noble Consort! God knows, in the last scene, when Xia Weiyang smiled at Zhi Liao and walked towards her, my eyes got teary along with Zhi Liao…”

“What! It’s an HE? I’m going for it! I’ll search if there are any preview screenings near my place!”

“Today is the White Peony Awards ceremony, right? Will Xu Sajiao have a double celebration? Rubbing my hands in anticipation! I feel there haven’t been many female stars in the entertainment industry in recent years who are as popular as her! It’s strange, Feng Qingyu and Qiu Yongli are from the same period, why do I only remember her?” “Because there aren’t many vases3 who can reclaim their reputation! Among the idols we used to follow, how many have transitioned from being popular to being powerful? None! Only Xu Sajiao! Enough said, I’m going to admire her red carpet look today! Ahhh, I miss her waist, her legs, her beauty!”

……

White Peony Awards ceremony.

Red carpet, flashlights, and the female stars with their fragrant cheeks and powdered shoulders, the male stars in dazzling high-fashion suits, each ABO with their own characteristics, yet varying from person to person. Everywhere, the scent of perfume and flowers fills the air. The red carpet gathers the world’s most top-tier designs and the most outstanding faces.

This is the entertainment industry.

This is stardom.

Xu Jiao wore a golden haute couture dress, a material like thin gauze, adorned with fine rubies creating stunning patterns, and shimmering golden flakes embedding a phoenix bird in the center. The skirt was a puffy design, somewhat high, but with a reasonably cinched waist. The neckline just aligned with the direction of the phoenix’s head, with its slender beak holding a beautiful flower.

Everyone followed the shape of the petals and discovered that it was a balsam flower.

The audience on-site and in the live broadcast room were a bit excited. She really understood! Even though it had been half a year, everyone was instantly reminded of 《The Palace Wall Willows》, thinking of the scene where the Empress painted the Noble Consort’s nails, and the final scene where the gray-haired Noble Consort placed the balsam flower in front of the Empress’s stall.

The sound of photos being taken was continuous, and the flashlights flickered repeatedly on her face.

Xu Jiao, however, did not rush to enter the venue. Instead, she looked in another direction. She had agreed to enter with Feng Qingyu because it was not yet time to announce their divorce, so naturally, they had to maintain this appearance in public.

Feng Qingyu walked over from the other side, wearing a black dress, yet the floral decorations on it were golden. Many stars in the circle loved to wear black, but few could wear it with her kind of elegance.

The two had not coordinated their outfits, but now that they were on stage together, the similar gold accents allowed their CP fans to continue finding sweet moments.

Xu Jiao held her hand as they entered, walking down the red carpet with a faint smile on her face. She asked Feng Qingyu, “How many awards do you think our crew can win today?”

Feng Qingyu seriously pondered, “Some awards are quite uncertain. The Best Director will definitely go to Director Zhen. Over on the Best Actor side, Lu Xun has a few competitors, and the Best Actress is also a tough category. Qiu Yongli’s chances are slim. However, if both of them win—then we definitely won’t get Best Supporting Actress.”

That’s just the way it is.

It’s impossible for all the awards to be given to the same crew.

Especially the Best Actor and Actress, and the Best Supporting Actor and Actress.

Xu Jiao nodded understandingly and didn’t say anything further. By this time, the two of them had already walked from the beginning of the red carpet to the central signing and photo area, so there was no need to talk about anything else.

After signing, taking photos, and answering questions, they went to sit with the 《The Palace Wall Willows》 crew. Members of a crew usually sit together. Qiu Yongli waved at the two of them, and Lu Xun gave Xu Jiao a hand gesture for “100,” reminding her that he had promised to book 100 screenings of 《Qingyu An》.

Xu Jiao smiled faintly, chatted with them casually for a few moments, and then the awards ceremony was about to begin.

Sitting in the midst of those dazzling seats, Xu Jiao actually felt a bit unreal, especially as the lights around gradually dimmed, giving her a dreamlike, hazy feeling.

The host announced the nominated works and awards one by one, and the spotlights continuously flew overhead before landing somewhere beside her.

As expected, Zhen Tiao won Best Director.

Best Score, Best Set Design, and others were all swept by 《The Palace Wall Willows》.

The penultimate award was Best Supporting Actress.

The light suddenly fell on her and Feng Qingyu.

(If you're not reading on littlepandatranslations.com, it means this has been stolen)

At the same time, there were two or three other beams on actresses from other productions.

But most people’s eyes were on the two of them because of how popular the Empress-Noble Consort CP was, though they didn’t know which one of them it would be.

Qiu Yongli softly cheered them on from the side: “Good luck.”

Xu Jiao exchanged a glance with Feng Qingyu—

The host on stage had already read out the lines:

“She is so beautiful that it seems she doesn’t need to act; her acting is so superb that people will always remember her beauty.”

“The winner of the 38th White Peony Award for Best Supporting Actress is…”

The light moved back and forth among the five of them!

Suddenly!

It froze on the two of them! Both were illuminated!

The scene cooled for a second, then applause erupted: “Xu Jiao, Feng Qingyu—congratulations to them! The Noble Conosrt and the Empress didn’t get the best ending, but you should!”

Qiu Yongli jumped up with a “wow,” hugging them one by one, saying, “I feel like I will never forget this day. You two are truly amazing! You are the best lovers I’ve ever seen!”

Lu Xun curled his lips, as if he had already noticed something, but he didn’t say anything, just smiled and nodded at the two of them.

Hearing Qiu Yongli’s words, Xu Jiao and Feng Qingyu didn’t say anything either, just walked side by side towards the stage. As if worried that the long walk would be too awkward without saying something, Feng Qingyu suddenly turned her head and asked Xu Jiao:

“Have you thought about your acceptance speech?”

Xu Jiao looked at the high platform at the end of the road, and the microphone already placed there, as well as the trophy in the host’s hand. She nodded to Feng Qingyu: “Yes, I’ve thought about it.”

The two of them went on stage, and the intricately carved trophy was passed into their hands.

Two trophies, both heavy.

Feng Qingyu smiled slightly at her, indicating that she should go up and speak first, but Xu Jiao shook her head, signaling for her to go first.

Feng Qingyu took a deep breath and walked to the microphone: “Thank you to the jury for their great favor, and thanks to Director Zhen for his guidance, and to the crew members for their continuous support…”

The beginning was very conventional, merely thanking the officials, the crew, and her parents and friends.

But later, she suddenly changed—

“I know that everyone has regrets about the Empress and the Noble Conosrt, but I think this ending is very good. It constantly reminds us that life is short, and we should cherish every moment with our loved ones, because we never know when we might part ways at the next intersection.”

“May you all grow old with the one you love and live a peaceful life.”

The audience erupted into waves of applause.

Feng Qingyu’s expression remained calm. She politely took a step back, letting Xu Jiao come forward to speak.

Xu Jiao walked to the microphone. The lights in front of her were so dazzling that she couldn’t see anything else, as if her voice alone needed to be conveyed to the world. She softly began:

“The person I should thank the most is Feng Qingyu.”

“It was she who helped me get the audition opportunity for this role, which allowed everyone to see Rong Qing and Xu Jiao this year.”

The people below thought they were showing off their affection and smiled as they applauded for them.

Xu Jiao’s eyes dropped slightly, a smile curved upon her lips, and she looked at Feng Qingyu beside her. The expression in her eyes was something Feng Qingyu couldn’t decipher for a moment. After a pause, Xu Jiao said very earnestly:

“Thank you.”

Thank you for helping me fulfill my dream, and thank you for liking me so genuinely and passionately.

Then, she took a deep breath and said: “Goodbye.”

Goodbye to this stage, and goodbye to Feng Qingyu, goodbye to this world.

Goodbye, 《Starlight.》

……

Everything that followed became blurry.

Only the cold voice of the system in her ears pulled her back to the space: “Welcome back to the virtual space.”

Xu Jiao looked down at her palm. The Best Supporting Actress trophy had already disappeared. Vaguely, she seemed to see Feng Qingyu’s eyes, somewhat sad and somewhat relieved.

She looked up at the bookshelf in the virtual room and, for the first time, took the initiative to ask the system: “How was the ending?”

The system was silent for two seconds.

Subsequently, the book 《Starlight》, glowing with a golden light, flew out from the bookshelf and opened in front of her. The pages flipped one by one and finally stopped. When it closed again, the light suddenly grew intense!

The system’s voice followed: “Congratulations to the host on successfully modifying the ending—because you entered before the story unfolded and timely corrected Shangguan Yan’s love for the female lead, this book has turned into… a proper drama with no problematic elements! It perfectly aligns with our core socialist values! Feng Qingyu ultimately became a legend in the industry, winning all the major Best Actress awards! She entered Hollywood! Became a myth in the entertainment circle!”

Xu Jiao saw that the book was golden. With a thought, the book opened, and at the beginning of the story, it indeed mentioned that Feng Qingyu had a marriage, with the content almost identical to the original text.

Only this time, it was the other party who did not love Feng Qingyu and divorced her. Feng Qingyu was desolate for a long time and eventually put all her focus into her career.

A few simple sentences…

(If you're not reading on littlepandatranslations.com, it means this has been stolen)

Contained within it were all the stories of the two of them.

Xu Jiao couldn’t help but wonder if Feng Qingyu would remember her, as her name was not left in the book.

It would be best if she forgot as well.

She closed the book, nodded in satisfaction, and for some reason sighed: “Feng Qingyu… is quite good.”

It seemed this should have been her original ending.

……

In another space.

A female voice awakened and asked: “This time, how much again?”

“Congratulations! You have gained 10… no! 11, 12, 13… 15! A total of 15 points of the Creator’s favor! Your performance was excellent! Please keep it up, and then in just eight more worlds, you can fulfill your wish!”

“15 points?” The female voice chuckled and asked, “Do you think 15 points is liking?”

The mechanical voice suddenly fell silent.

The person sighed softly, “You see, even you know this isn’t love; this is pity.”

“My god—”

“She is always high above, even her liking feels like a gift.”

“I’m not content, you see. I want her to stand in the same place as me. I want her to no longer look down on me, do you understand?”



Footnotes

  1. Warm baby: A Chinese term that refers to a portable heat pack or hand warmer. These are small, disposable packets that generate heat when activated, and they are commonly used to keep hands or other parts of the body warm in cold weather..
  2. [oe]: In Chinese online forums and chats, “oe” is a common shorthand or slang that can mean “oh” or “oh, I see.” (I’m not sure if this is accurate info)
  3. Vase: A derogatory term for someone who is perceived to be attractive but lacking in talent or substance.

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