Let’s not waste time, come and kiss me
Roughly glossing over another world and the existence of Great Mi Yi, Qiao Yu laid out her experiences and discoveries of the past two years.
What she really wanted to say were two things – first, in that exiled world, there were many hosts from different worlds whose missions had failed, and second, there existed higher powers that could be watching them at any time, like watching ornamental fish in a tank.
“I usually refer to it in my mind as ‘God’.”
Qiao Yu succinctly summarized this power, as Lin Qing continued with a serious expression.
“It holds near-absolute control over this world, able to send me in, and take me out, able to make all of you forget about me, and fabricate false memories for everyone so that my return doesn’t seem abrupt.”
“No matter what kind of existence it is, essentially speaking, it can be said to be not much different from the gods in people’s minds.”
“…”
Lin Qing pondered for a while, furrowing her brow.
“Is your mission also… given to you by this ‘God’?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever had direct dialogue with it?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“What about your ‘Observer’?”
“True to its name, it only has an observing role. Not to mention me, even it can’t establish contact with ‘God’.”
It was almost as if she was a frontline employee working tirelessly for a company but had never met the boss. Qiao Yu said this, turning a deaf ear to the disgruntled grumbling from the system in her mind.
Lin Qing sighed with a hint of resignation and posed the next question: “What is the purpose of this ‘God’?”
“I don’t know.” Qiao Yu shrugged, then added, “I can’t guess the fundamental purpose of why it has brought so many people to do missions, but in my case, it probably just wants to make up for its mistake.”
“Mistake?”
Here, of course, referred to the incident of mistakenly sending Great Mi Yi to the doomsday world, resulting in Qiao Yu being captured to take on the role of the writer – was this book of Mi Yi’s really that important, or were those gods just avid readers? This was too unreliable, wasn’t it?
But Qiao Yu didn’t dare to be too clear with Lin Qing about these thoughts, just shook her head and remained silent. Lin Qing glanced at her, then lowered her gaze.
“…About you hiding things from me, can I ask why?”
“Because knowing certain things could be dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” This term did not deter Lin Qing, who expressed an unaccepting look and said lightly, “Then aren’t you also in danger?”
“Not really.”
In response to her skepticism, Qiao Yu decisively shook her head, showing rare firmness in her attitude when faced with Lin Qing’s differing opinion.
“I can confirm that the ‘God’ does not want people to know this. But I am still unclear about how you would be treated if you found out, so I believe this information is dangerous.”
“As for why I can still stand here safe and sound after knowing it…”
Qiao Yu paused, then chuckled self-deprecatingly.
“I guess it’s because, at the time when I learned this, I was already in a very dangerous situation.”
“So perhaps that’s why the ‘God’ let me off the hook. After all, I didn’t have the luxury to fully comprehend this information at that time.”
“…”
She spoke calmly, but a surge of pain washed over Lin Qing.
“Now that I have the luxury of time, I might have become a thorn in the ‘God’s’ side, too. I cannot let you take on the same risk.”
“This is different from when I hid things from you before I left. The reason I am telling you all this is because I want to share my thoughts and actions with you to the fullest extent possible. I… want to do something.”
Upon hearing her compare this matter to the past, Lin Qing couldn’t shake a sense of foreboding. She lightly pressed her lips together, held her breath, and waited for Qiao Yu to continue.
“I want to try to leverage the information I know… as leverage to have a conversation with the ‘God’.”
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“…!”
Lin Qing shivered, widening her eyes as she looked at Qiao Yu, who, however, showed no hint of joking on her face, solemnly nodding at her.
“Of course, this is just an idea for now. I just feel there might be potential for implementation.”
“Qiao Yu…”
Numerous thoughts raced through Lin Qing’s mind, but the most urgent thing she needed to say now was only one sentence.
“If you are going to do something risky, then you must let me share that risk with you.”
“I don’t want to wait in ignorance like I did back then.”
“…”
Her lover’s face showed a mixture of disagreement, hesitation, and doubt, but Lin Qing was equally unwilling to back down, lowering her arms to encircle her.
“Don’t always think about protecting me behind you. I am your lover.”
“I am the person in this world who should stand by your side the most.”
“Or do you think I am not qualified for this?”
With a very direct move, Qiao Yu frowned, seeing her lover provocatively raise her eyebrows as she looked at her, as if scrutinizing whether she could give a positive answer.
Of course, she could never deny the unique position Lin Qing held in her heart, but Qiao Yu still felt that it was unwise to involve Lin Qing in this uncertain risk.
This may be the first time they truly clashed in terms of opinions. The two of them were at odds, unwilling to give in to each other, and neither could persuade the other.
“…Let’s forget about it for now. Let’s not talk about this.”
The unexpected one to back down first was Lin Qing. However, she did not concede from her own position but rather decided to temporarily set aside the unresolved topic and turn to the second topic that she was more concerned about.
“I’ve had questions I wanted to ask you since earlier. Can you tell me about this matter in its entirety?”
Her voice gradually softened, taking a gentle breath, she proactively closed the distance between herself and Qiao Yu, trying to catch the other’s bewildered gaze.
“…Besides insomnia, what other sequelae did you experience during your exile?”
Lin Qing was extremely concerned about this matter.
Her guilt and self-blame twisted into a heavy, icy substance in her chest, dragging her heart down. Lin Qing didn’t want to blame Qiao Yu, who only showed her scars after swallowing all the bitterness. She only wanted to blame herself for not recognizing Qiao Yu’s pain earlier, despite seeing some clues.
“It’s pretty much all fine now. Don’t worry too much about it…”
Qiao Yu looked a bit puzzled, seemingly pondering what to say. However, Lin Qing just shook her head, earnestly expressing her desire to know.
“…Most of them are minor issues, but they were more severe during the first half-year after I returned.”
Unable to resist her lover’s persistence, Qiao Yu, who had been secretive about the secrets of the world, reluctantly disclosed this aspect of information truthfully, carefully choosing words that would not upset Lin Qing too much.
“I developed photophobia and also became uncomfortable in darkness.”
“I became very sensitive to sounds and colors. At the beginning, I could stare at the ceiling for half a day and find it quite beautiful.”
“Maybe it’s because I hadn’t eaten in so long, the first meal always tasted a bit different from what I remembered. It took my taste buds quite some time to readjust. I was really worried if I would never be able to taste anything again in the future, that would be quite unbearable.”
Perhaps to avoid making the conversation too heavy, Qiao Yu’s voice was cheerful, casually discussing it as if it were everyday chatter, concealing the hidden helplessness behind each sentence.
“It actually sounds scarier than it is. As the person involved, even during the experience, I really didn’t think much of it.”
Qiao Yu grasped Lin Qing’s slightly tense fingertips on the sofa, gradually easing her grip, brushing against her cold fingers with the warmth of her palm.
“Because, these are the proofs that I truly came back from there.”
“My insomnia might also have been partly due to this.”
“When I close my eyes, I always feel like the scene in front of me is taking me back to the time of exile, sometimes getting confused, unable to distinguish between closed and open eyes, unsure which side is the real world… It’s like a philosophical contemplation akin to Zhuangzi’s dream of the butterfly.”
Qiao Yu laughed as she spoke, using her other idle hand to tuck Lin Qing’s stray hair behind her ear.
“But after we moved here, I haven’t had insomnia again.”
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“So please don’t make that kind of expression, okay?”
Not all of the words were spoken solely to comfort Lin Qing. During the period immediately after returning, Qiao Yu gradually became aware of various issues with her own body, but it didn’t make her feel particularly painful; rather, she felt grateful.
Being able to acknowledge a problem is the first step towards solving it, which is much better than completely breaking down in secrecy.
However, compared to those sequelae, the pain of her lover in front of her made Qiao Yu more uneasy. Qiao Yu had considered that Lin Qing would surely dig deep into the matter after finding out about the psychologist, but since they had undergone the medical examination together, there was no reason to continue keeping it from her.
It wasn’t a good situation, but she didn’t want to have any unnecessary secrets from Lin Qing anymore. Qiao Yu found it hard to imagine Lin Qing’s current feelings, trying her best to empathize, thinking that if she were to hear Lin Qing say these words, she would probably feel the same way, heartbroken to the point of being unable to bear it.
“…Qingqing…”
Qiao Yu gently called out Lin Qing’s name, brushing her tearful face.
“It’s all in the past.”
With this simple statement, she summarized everything and leaned closer to her lover, jokingly saying, “Instead of spending time thinking about things that have already passed, why not seize the moment to give me a kiss?”
Her lover took it seriously, without hesitation, stepping forward to kiss her.
“…” The tender touch lingered briefly, Qiao Yu gazed at Lin Qing who was softly pursing her lips, raising her eyebrows slightly.
“Not enough, one more time.”
Her hands became restless, pulling Lin Qing closer with a playful smile, pointing towards her own lips. This time, Lin Qing hesitated for a moment but obediently leaned in, engaging in a playful exchange with Qiao Yu before pulling back.
Lin Qing’s kiss was gentle and pure, and Qiao Yu knew that Lin Qing must be trying to make up for her own guilt by actively offering the kiss, hoping to provide some comfort through this gesture.
However, Qiao Yu didn’t want Lin Qing to be thinking about other things while kissing her.
“What’s wrong? Teacher?”
The long-unused term suddenly surfaced, surprising Lin Qing, who looked at Qiao Yu inquiringly, only to meet a pair of dazzling eyes with a mischievous smile as if she was up to something.
“Forgot how to kiss?”
She deliberately spoke slowly, and Lin Qing could clearly see her tongue darting between her teeth, appearing soft and intriguing.
Lin Qing blushed instantly, the mix of concern for Qiao Yu’s situation and embarrassment creating a complex swirl of emotions within her. She hesitantly spoke, feeling a bit flustered, “Wait, Qiao Yu, this isn’t the right…”.
“I’m not waiting.”
With a smile in her voice, Qiao Yu cut off her words and pulled Lin Qing into her arms with force. Then, as if it was natural, she closed in, almost touching, and said to the slightly flustered Lin Qing.
“If the teacher doesn’t remember, then let me teach the teacher.”
“Don’t think about those miscellaneous things. This time, remember to… focus more.”
The last few words vanished between their merging lips, and Qiao Yu couldn’t help but kiss her, effortlessly breaking through her defenses, causing a tremble, intertwining with her repeatedly, gently yet forcefully swallowing up all of Lin Qing’s breaths.
Lin Qing’s mind fell into confusion. She felt that things shouldn’t have taken this turn. Just moments ago, they were discussing such heavy topics, and now doing this seemed a bit untimely.
But she always found it difficult to outright reject Qiao Yu’s advances.
So she could only let her thoughts drift in the relentless pursuit of Qiao Yu, her mind becoming hazy, solely focused on the person in front of her, even forgetting how to breathe until Qiao Yu deliberately whispered a reminder in her ear to breathe, and Lin Qing took a breath as if awakening from a dream, only to be silenced by Qiao Yu once again.
Lin Qing couldn’t judge how much time had passed. The places where she touched Qiao Yu’s body were growing warm, feeling Qiao Yu’s hand slowly reaching the hem of her sweater. Lin Qing’s breath caught, uncertainly wrapping her arms around Qiao Yu’s neck, her mind boiling, unable to think clearly.
“Qiao Yu…”
She didn’t know if she wanted to resist or to accept, the unresolved self-blame and pain in her heart seemed to have been suppressed by the intense kiss just now, followed by the ignited flames of love.
“Yes, just like that.”
Qiao Yu pulled back slightly, her amber eyes flickering with a faint light, capturing Lin Qing’s gaze. Her hand slowly and deliberately touched the skin hidden beneath Lin Qing’s sweater, satisfied to see her lover tremble, then lightly biting her lower lip.
“All those so-called sequelae, the ones that needed healing have almost healed by now.”
“Even the most stubborn insomnia hasn’t recurred under the effect of your remedy―so don’t show that sad expression like earlier, it would make me very sad, very sad.”
“Now this expression suits you well.”
But Lin Qing barely had time to respond to Qiao Yu’s words. While this person spoke seriously, her hands were unreservedly causing chaos. Lin Qing had to focus all her thoughts on suppressing the low moan in her throat, frowning in frustration.
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“Don’t bite. I want to hear.”
However, her lover was particularly wilful today. After a casual remark, she semi-forcefully covered Lin Qing’s mouth, not allowing her to bite her lower lip. Only after hearing Lin Qing’s voice as desired did she slightly pull back, then proceeded to kiss the corners of her lover’s eyes, now tinted with a rosy color from the arousal, wrapping her trembling body tightly.
“…If Qingqing feels guilty for not being by my side during those times, there’s really no need.”
Compared to the already confused Lin Qing, Qiao Yu’s voice sounded remarkably calm, planting another kiss near Lin Qing’s ear.
“More than those emotions, I want… love.”
“So… give me a little more, will you, teacher?”
Ah, what a greedy person.
With her earlobe lightly nibbled, Lin Qing helplessly hugged Qiao Yu tightly. Since she was told not to bite her lip earlier, she restrained herself from doing so, feeling embarrassed hearing her own sounds. She wanted to raise her hand to cover her mouth, but even that Qiao Yu didn’t allow, firmly holding her wrist to move it away, then casually kissing her pulse.
Although she had already given her all the love, this person still said it wasn’t enough, wanting her to exchange all other emotions for love and then give it back to her.
But Lin Qing felt helpless towards her. She had no way to resist her tendency to give her everything she wanted whenever she asked for it.
The only thing she couldn’t concede to Qiao Yu was letting her venture into danger alone; everything else was permissible.
Although the two of them had not yet reached a consensus on this matter… but well, let it go, let it go.
This issue would eventually need to be brought up more solemnly, but definitely not now.
After all, thinking about these matters now, if discovered by her lover, she would likely be criticized for not being focused as a teacher.
Ooh, Teacher Lin Qing, fight!