May there be no years to look back, and let us share deep affection for the rest of our lives
That night, as Lu Zizheng was on her way back from the hospital, Jiang Huaichuan called her and told her that he was already on his way to the airport. He said he could tell that his sister was still worried about her injury, so he came over to check on her first. In addition, he had some things he wanted to say to her before she met Jiang Huaixi.
It was a little past eleven o’clock at night when Lu Zizheng’s doorbell rang, and Jiang Huaichuan had rushed there in a hurry, looking somewhat disheveled.
When she opened the door, Jiang Huaichuan immediately noticed that Lu Zizheng’s eyes and nose were red, clearly indicating that she had been crying.
He felt guilty and lowered his head, sincerely saying, “Sister Zizheng, I’m sorry.”
Lu Zizheng turned and entered the room. Her voice still carried a hint of nasal congestion, but her tone was calm. “Huaichuan, if there’s a need to apologize, it should be Huaixi herself who should say it to me.” While speaking, she went to pour a cup of hot water for Jiang Huaichuan. “It’s chilly here at night, and the wind is strong. Don’t catch a cold.”
Jiang Huaichuan stared unwaveringly at Lu Zizheng’s bandaged hand. Lu Zizheng seemed to sense his gaze and calmly said, “I’m fine, it’s just a small injury on my hand, nothing serious.”
Jiang Huaichuan carefully examined Lu Zizheng and indeed found no other visible injuries. He finally breathed a sigh of relief. He took the glass of water offered to him and sat down on the living room sofa, apologizing, “I apologize on behalf of myself and my parents. I’m sorry for us all keeping the truth from you.”
Lu Zizheng, with only red eyes and a tired expression, silently looked at him without saying a word.
Jiang Huaichuan took a sip of water, rubbed his hands together, gathered his courage, and finally uttered the difficult words he wanted to say in defense of Jiang Huaixi and as a plea.
When you’re wrong, you’re wrong, and when you’re sorry, you’re sorry. Jiang Huaichuan understood Jiang Huaixi too well. She was not the type to deflect blame or defend herself. If it were Jiang Huaixi, no matter how Lu Zizheng accused her, even if she misunderstood her, she would never speak up in her defense. She would only shoulder all the faults, blame herself for the entire concealment, blame herself for being selfish, and for delaying Lu Zizheng.
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He also acknowledged that Jiang Huaixi’s actions in this matter were indeed wrong and unethical, and he apologized to Lu Zizheng. However, he also knew that Jiang Huaixi’s original intention had never been to harm Lu Zizheng. Sometimes, telling one lie requires a hundred more lies to cover it up, and the longer you hide something, the harder it becomes to confess. The unfolding of events had taken everyone by surprise. He knew that Lu Zizheng had the right to criticize Jiang Huaixi and even to leave her in anger. Still, he wanted to advocate for his unfortunate sister, even if it meant appearing somewhat forceful and shameless.
Starting with Jiang Huaixi’s congenital heart disease, he talked about her current struggles with pleurisy and the difficulties in finding a cure. He told Lu Zizheng that in the early days, when medical science was less advanced, Jiang Huaixi had been predicted to live no longer than twenty years. Later, with the advancement of medical science, her surgery had been successful, but she was still predicted not to live past fifty. She had once been living carelessly, resigned to her fate. However, since meeting Lu Zizheng, she had developed the will to fight against her destiny.
He said, “Meeting you was the most beautiful accident in my sister’s life. She always thought that as long as she could be by your side and watch over you from afar, she would be content, even if the happiness she witnessed wasn’t of her making. But in the end, she couldn’t resist temptation and chose to be with you. That was the most selfish decision she ever made in her life.”
Lu Zizheng lowered her head, her eyes swollen and red. When she heard those predictions of twenty years and fifty years, it felt like her heart was being brutally tortured with a sharp knife. Memories flashed before her eyes: the ambiguous moments from those years, Jiang Huaixi’s calculated distancing, the heart-wrenching rejection when she had mustered the courage to confess, and the tears that had welled up in the corner of Jiang Huaixi’s eyes when they had their first intimate moment. Suddenly, she understood what had kept Jiang Huaixi distant, something she had struggled to comprehend before, and perhaps she now understood what Mother Jiang had referred to as Jiang Huaixi’s “emotional baggage.”
She seemed to see the image of Jiang Huaixi, who had been struggling desperately to distance herself but ultimately had to watch herself fall into despair in her memories, with a slightly melancholic and indifferent face.
She also recalled and understood why Jiang Huaixi never attended physical education classes, why her lips had been purple when she woke up in the hospital bed that year after fainting during gym class, why her physical strength had been so poor. She understood what Jiang Huaixi had been enduring behind the scenes, even as she cared for her with unwavering attention.
In that moment, tears welled up in her eyes. Her voice choked, and she asked Jiang Huaichuan, “Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t she say anything to me at all?” Did she know how much she cared for her, how much she regretted wasting precious time, how much she agonized over not being there during her moments of sadness and helplessness, providing support and companionship?
Jiang Huaichuan’s voice was also slightly hoarse as he said, “At first, when you were just friends, she felt there was no need to tell you. Later, when you became a couple, you had just gone through a major change, and she couldn’t bring herself to tell you. She couldn’t bear to see you suffer another loss, fearing that you would be consumed by anxiety if you found out. And now, she simply wants to wait until she’s feeling better, until the situation improves a bit, before she tells you.” He paused and let out a bitter smile, “But if you were to ask my sister this question, she would only answer, ‘I’m sorry, I lied to you, regardless of the reason, you have every right not to forgive me.'”
He implored Lu Zizheng, saying, “She’s foolish, you know? In front of you, she won’t say anything to exonerate herself. She has made many mistakes, and all of them are her fault. But Sister Zizheng, her love for you is genuine. No matter what, please, can you find it in your heart to forgive her? Please, don’t leave her? Although perhaps she truly can’t accompany you until old age, I dare say there’s no one in this world who loves you more than she does. She really, truly can’t bear to lose you.”
Lu Zizheng sobbed and cursed, “She’s not just a fool, she’s also a scoundrel. And so are you, Huaichuan. Huaichuan, do you know that all the reasons you mentioned are valid, but there’s one most important reason you didn’t mention?”
Jiang Huaichuan looked at Lu Zizheng in confusion.
With a tearful and bitter smile, Lu Zizheng said, “She, just like you, doesn’t trust me enough.”
Jiang Huaichuan didn’t believe in her love for Jiang Huaixi, feared that she might reject Jiang Huaixi’s body, feared that she might not forgive Jiang Huaixi’s concealment and deception, and feared that she might leave. That was where Jiang Huaichuan and Jiang Huaixi were foolish and acted like scoundrels. On the other hand, Lu Zizheng knew that Jiang Huaixi would certainly believe that she wouldn’t despise and leave her even if she knew the truth. But the foolish scoundrel side of Jiang Huaixi was in her fear that she wouldn’t trust in her love and determination as the one who would weather all storms with her, fearing that she might not be able to bear it and might collapse.
She was the lover who could stand shoulder to shoulder with Jiang Huaixi in mutual support, not a fledgling bird sheltered under Jiang Huaixi’s protective wings. She could also be the one to hold up the sky for Jiang Huaixi, shielding her from wind and rain, just as Jiang Huaixi had always done for her.
However, Jiang Huaixi had never given her this level of trust, never granted her the right as a lover to care for and protect her, to share in all her pains.
Jiang Huaixi had never trusted her enough, always assuming she needed to be safeguarded in an absolute safe zone.
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As she contemplated, wiped away her tears, and with red eyes, she gritted her teeth and said to Jiang Huaichuan, “Huaichuan, after we return to Linzhou tomorrow morning, please take me to Hengshan. This time, if she still doesn’t understand, I really won’t forgive her anymore.”
Jiang Huaichuan stared in astonishment, puzzled as he asked, “Sister Zizheng, you…” He remembered his sister mentioning that Lu Zizheng had a fear of heights and was completely averse to tall mountains. Hengshan, in particular, was a well-known steep and treacherous mountain, especially the hair-raising suspended wooden plank path on the mountain.
Lu Zizheng firmly said, “I have some things I want to tell Jiang Huaixi. When the time comes, I’ll need your help with preparations.”
The following day, through Jiang Huaichuan’s connections, Lu Zizheng changed her flight to return to Linzhou in the morning. After breakfast, she and Jiang Huaichuan prepared to depart for the airport with their simple luggage.
Lian Xuan, at some point, had already waited at the door. When she saw Lu Zizheng leaving, she flashed a faint smile and greeted her, “Are you heading to the airport?”
Lu Zizheng nodded gently.
Lian Xuan took a few steps forward and extended her hand, revealing a delicately wrapped gift bag that had been hanging behind her. She smiled, her eyes and dimples forming a shallow curve, and said, “Consider it a farewell gift from me.” She winked and continued, “I’ll retrieve the voice recorder for you, don’t worry. There’s nothing else to delay your time now. I wish you all the best.”
Lu Zizheng accepted her gift with both hands, looked deeply into her eyes, and curved her lips slightly. Her expression was sincere as she said, “Thank you, and I wish you all the best in the days ahead, to be the best version of yourself.”
Lian Xuan nodded, smiling, and watched Lu Zizheng as she walked away. Her voice carried a gentle and amused tone, “Yes, goodbye, until we meet again.”
It wasn’t until long after Lu Zizheng’s figure had disappeared that Lian Xuan wiped away the tears that had unknowingly welled up on her cheeks and turned to leave.
On the plane, Lu Zizheng opened the gift bag to find a small, exquisitely illustrated comic book. The cover depicted two long-haired girls lying in the snow and watching fireworks on a cold night. The title of the comic was “About My Love for You.”
In an instant, Lu Zizheng’s hand trembled slightly, and her heart was deeply touched.
In the comic, the protagonist is a girl with sweet dimples. On her first day after returning from England, she noticed a beautiful and unique girl sitting next to her in class. This girl rarely left her seat during breaks and hardly spoke to any classmates. She appeared silent and somewhat sad. Over time, the protagonist found herself increasingly drawn to and curious about the girl next to her. During classes, she would often turn to sneak glances at her. In private, she couldn’t help but ask other classmates about the girl. However, when she heard negative rumors about the girl from others, she was unwilling to believe them.
She decided to only believe what she saw and felt for herself.
So, she set out to get to know this girl who had captured her attention. She put thought into how to get closer to the girl, seized every opportunity, and even offered the girl test papers when needed. Once, when the girl was alone doing her duty of taking out the trash, she quietly helped with one of the bins before the morning bell for preparatory reading rang. She even intentionally stayed at school to have lunch, creating multiple chances to run into the girl and eat together.
Because of this girl, she experienced her first heartbeat of love. When she couldn’t resist secretly delivering love letters from boys to the girl multiple times, she also felt jealousy for the first time. When she finally kissed the girl’s lips, she understood the sweetness of love.
The girl brought her so much joy and happiness, but in the end, due to her own selfishness and weakness, she repaid kindness with cruelty, leaving the girl heartbroken.
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Many years later, she encountered that girl again and realized that she had never truly let go of her all those years. So, she decided to break off her engagement, hoping to gain her freedom. However, her grandfather confined her, causing her to miss the moment when the girl needed her the most. She had a heated argument with a longtime friend, disregarding her own pride, and cried and made a scene. Eventually, her friend had a change of heart, revealing the hurt she had caused to the girl behind her back. After much effort, she and the girl resolved their past grievances, but she found that the girl seemed to have changed… Nevertheless, she still wanted to give it another try.
At the end of the comic, on the night before the girl’s departure, she took the girl to see a sand sculpture exhibition. On the Titanic, she wrapped her arms around the girl from behind, and the girl smiled, spreading her arms in that classic pose. She leaned close to the girl and asked, “Stay, and let’s start over, okay?”
The girl turned to her, gazing deeply into her eyes, and replied, “Okay…”
Lu Zizheng noticed that above the word “Okay,” there was a large teardrop stain, smudging the writing.
Lu Zizheng tightly pressed her lips together, slowly turned the page, and on the next page, she saw Lian Xuan’s elegant handwriting, which read, “Zizheng, I started drawing this from the moment you agreed that I should prove it to you in Japan. I originally thought I could surprise you with it when you agreed to start over with me. But now, I think it’s not a bad idea to make it the final gift. No matter if it’s the excitement or the heartbreak, the sweetness or the bitterness, they are all the unique treasures you’ve given me, and I will cherish them for my whole life. So, thank you. The real ending of the story comes after this, I hope you like it.”
There were slight tears in Lan Zizheng’s eyes as she sniffled and gently turned the page.
In the final pages of the comic, the girl with dimples woke up from her bed to realize that the so-called “fresh start” was nothing more than a beautiful dream she had crafted for herself. Today, as she awoke from her dream, she witnessed the wedding of the girl she loved to her true soulmate, another beautiful girl with long black hair. At the wedding, the two brides shared a sweet kiss amidst the heartfelt blessings of everyone. She sat in the audience, her eyes filled with a smiling sincerity, and sincerely wished the girl: “Zizheng, I wish you happiness.”
At the end, it was written by Lian Xuan:
May there be no years to look back, and let us share deep affection for the rest of our lives.
Zizheng, I wish you and Huaixi a lifetime of happiness, never to part in your old age.
Lan Zizheng closed the comic book, and a tear couldn’t help but fall from the corner of her eye. She gently wiped it away and turned her head to look out the window. This was the first time she had the courage to gaze down while on a plane. She saw the plane pass over one patch of clouds after another, fly by one scenery after another, and soar over one mountain after another.
She couldn’t help but close her eyes, not daring to look anymore. In her mind, Jiang Huaixi’s beautiful face slowly appeared, proud, cunning, helpless, and tender… She opened her eyes again, tilted her head to overlook the earth below, and replied sincerely to Lian Xuan’s words, one by one: “We definitely will, and you must be happy too.”