I finally understand that love can’t come back, and I always realize it too late
The fireworks had faded, the clamor subsided, and Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan, stirred by past memories and the passage of time, fell into a thoughtful silence.
There was no trace of a smile on Lian Xuan’s face, her emotions clearly low. Lu Zizheng stood quietly by her side for a moment, breaking the silence with a suggestion: “Let’s go somewhere else, see something different…”
Lian Xuan nodded lightly and followed Lu Zizheng.
Lu Zizheng walked down the stairs on the right, head down, focused on the path, taking each step steadily. But just as she was about to step onto level ground, someone suddenly slammed into her from behind, causing Lu Zizheng to stumble and fall to the ground unprepared. In the next instant, as she instinctively reached out to brace herself when falling, a pair of hands swiftly grabbed the shoulder strap of her handbag.
Everything happened in the blink of an eye. Lian Xuan, too quick to even see the face of the purse snatcher, had not yet reacted to help Lu Zizheng when she saw Lu Zizheng, in the next moment, swiftly get up, seize the strap of the handbag, and without hesitation, run about ten meters, catching the footsteps of the assailant and starting to tug..
It wasn’t until the second after her bag was snatched and the pain hit her knee that Lu Zizheng realized what had happened. In that instant, she didn’t have time for much thought. She reflexively ignored the pain and got up to snatch her bag back. She didn’t think of anything else, forgot about fear, and her mind went blank, with only one thought—she couldn’t let the bag be lost!
The purse snatcher was a tall, skinny man with a crew cut, but due to the dim lighting, Lu Zizheng couldn’t make out his specific appearance. The man had initially intended to snatch the bag and escape in the confusion, but he didn’t expect Lu Zizheng to react so quickly, grabbing onto the strap of the bag and, unrelentingly, running alongside him, all while pulling and shouting for help: “Robbery, someone is robbing me…”
He felt both anxious and panicked, reaching into his pocket with his left hand, revealing a shiny, sharp fruit knife in front of Lu Zizheng.
The crowd began to stir, drawing the attention of many, but it seemed that everyone was too afraid of the assailant’s knife, only daring to watch from a distance and discuss the situation. For a moment, no one dared to step forward to help.
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However, Lu Zizheng, seemingly fearless, bit her lip and widened her eyes. She continued to exert all her strength in the struggle. During the tussle, the clasp of the bag came undone, and her wallet and mirror scattered on the ground…
Everything that had happened up to this point was just a matter of seconds.
Lian Xuan finally snapped out of it when she saw the knife in the hand of the bag snatcher, and her face instantly turned pale. Trembling, she advised Lu Zizheng with a shaky voice, “Zizheng, it’s dangerous, let go first…” as she ran forward to help Lu Zizheng. However, when Lian Xuan was just a few steps away from Lu Zizheng, the bag snatcher, growing impatient with the tug of war, finally swung the knife in his left hand toward Lu Zizheng’s tightly gripped hand.
Lu Zizheng saw a glint of silver flash before her eyes and instinctively tried to pull her hand away, but it was too late. The knife’s tip struck her tiger’s mouth1, slicing through it fiercely, and fresh blood immediately oozed from the wound, staining Lu Zizheng’s hand.
As the bag snatcher took advantage of her pain to let go, he swiftly yanked the bag away and made his getaway…
Lu Zizheng’s forehead broke into a cold sweat from the pain. Nevertheless, she pressed her injured hand, paying no attention to anything else, and took steps towards the direction the man had fled. Lian Xuan had reached Lu Zizheng’s side, standing in front of her to halt her progress. She tremblingly took Lu Zizheng’s hand and examined her wound. Seeing the flesh at the tiger’s mouth was turned outward, with blood still flowing, she felt heartbroken and anxious. Tears welled up in her eyes as she quickly tried to tear her own shirt to dress Lu Zizheng’s wound. With a quivering voice, she scolded Lu Zizheng, “Are you out of your mind? Fighting with those desperate criminals, do you want to get killed?”
At this moment, finally, some kind-hearted people arrived. Someone helped pick up the dropped wallet and mirror and handed them to Lu Zizheng. Lian Xuan, choking back tears, said, “Thank you” to help Lu Zizheng.
Lu Zizheng knew she couldn’t catch up anymore. She mechanically took the items handed to her, her eyes vacant as she watched the direction the assailant was leaving. Tears welled up in her eyes but didn’t fall as she murmured, “My Huaixi’s voice recorder was inside…”
When Lian Xuan heard the words “Huaixi,” her tears surged even more. She looked at Lu Zizheng’s bleeding tiger’s mouth, feeling heartbroken and almost faint. Unfortunately, perhaps because of the quality of her clothing, she couldn’t tear her own shirt open no matter how hard she tried. In her urgency, she simply took off her shirt, leaving only a tight-fitting undershirt. She used the shirt to cover Lu Zizheng’s wound and applied pressure to stop the bleeding.
The security finally arrived, albeit too late. Lu Zizheng was still somewhat dazed, and Lian Xuan answered a few questions on her behalf. Concerned about Lu Zizheng’s wound, she hurriedly took her to the hospital. Finally, she left a business card with the security and said, “Contact us later,” before briskly walking with Lu Zizheng toward the entrance of the sand sculpture garden.
Outside the sand sculpture garden, just as Lian Xuan and Lu Zizheng were about to flag down a taxi, a woman with clear features approached. She took out a brand-new shirt with a tag from her shopping bag and handed it to Lian Xuan. Then she said, “If you don’t mind, I’ve arranged a car to take you to the hospital, just ahead.”
Lian Xuan hesitantly accepted the shirt, raising her head to look ahead not far away, where indeed there was a taxi parked.
It truly relieved their pressing urgency, and Lian Xuan felt extremely grateful, repeatedly saying, “Thank you” several times, and reaching for money in her wallet to give to the woman.
The unfamiliar woman, however, just smiled sheepishly, shook her head, and said, “No need, I could only help with something like this, I’m sorry.” Just a moment ago, she had been standing in front of the robber. If, during the robber’s escape, she had dared to rush out and block his way…
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Lu Zizheng gradually regained her senses. Her emotions were still very low, her face pale from the pain, but she managed to muster a faint smile and sincerely said to the woman, “You’ve already done very well, and we’re very thankful.”
The taxi driver, growing impatient from the wait, leaned out and looked in their direction.
The woman gave a wry smile and said, “Hurry on your way.”
Lian Xuan expressed her gratitude once again, and Lu Zizheng nodded slightly. With Lian Xuan’s support, she limped towards the taxi.
Inside the taxi, the radio was playing music, and the driver lowered the volume a bit as he confirmed with Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan, “Are we heading to the nearest People’s Hospital?”
Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan were not familiar with this place, so when they heard it was the nearest one, Lian Xuan nodded in agreement.
The driver, upon receiving confirmation, replied with, “Alright,” and then turned up the radio volume again.
“I miss your smile, I miss your coat, I miss your white socks, and your scent. I miss your kisses…” Singer Xin Xiaoke’s song, filled with longing and lament, quietly flowed through the narrow compartment.
Lu Zizheng tightly pressed her right hand against her left, biting her lip, tilting her head to look out the car window. She watched the unfamiliar streets of City X, illuminated by colorful streetlights, and in the square, the celebration of strangers.
Her complexion grew paler, but her eyes welled up with redness.
Lian Xuan, seeing Lu Zizheng’s distress in the reflection of the car window, also had tears in her eyes. She anxiously asked her, “Zizheng, is it hurting a lot?”
Lu Zizheng gently shook her head, her voice soft and slightly nasal, “It’s okay, not painful…” However, her tears, stubbornly, drop by drop, fell onto the back of her hand.
Lian Xuan became flustered, feeling helpless. She feigned a crying tone and urged the driver to go faster.
“I miss your smile, I miss your coat, I miss your white socks, and your scent. I miss your kisses…” The song still lingered in the car, echoing through the unfamiliar streets of this foreign city, resonating in Lu Zizheng’s increasingly fragile heart.
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With a hoarse, crying tone, Lu Zizheng stopped Lian Xuan, reassuring her, “Lian Xuan, it’s okay, it’s not hurting too much…” Then, she choked up for a moment and explained, “I just suddenly felt a strong, strong longing, especially, especially for Huaixi…” This statement, like pressing a button in her heart, unleashed a flood of emotions that had been building up in her for a long time, emotions she could no longer suppress.
Starting from the day they left Linzhou, the faint sense of unease and doubt had accumulated into worry, suspicion, grievances, and insecurity over the past few weeks. Now, with the extreme regret and unease of losing Jiang Huaixi’s voice recorder, she had reached the edge of an emotional breakdown.
She tried to hold back her tears, her voice choked and almost unreal, as she continued intermittently, “Lian Xuan, am I useless? Why did she choose to push me away when she faced difficulties and not share them with me? I can clearly hear that she’s not doing well, but I can’t help her in any way. Even the gifts she put so much thought into giving me, I couldn’t protect them. I’m truly inadequate, utterly useless…” When she reached the end, she finally broke down, sobbing aloud.
Lian Xuan, with teary eyes, watched Lu Zizheng, who was hanging her head in despair and had tear streaks all over her face. She felt a profound sense of sadness, loss, and heartache, and her tears finally welled up too. She reached out and gently embraced Lu Zizheng, softly patting her back with a tearful voice, constantly reassuring her, “No, it’s not like that. Jiang Huaixi definitely doesn’t think that way.” As she spoke, her tears flowed even more vigorously than Lu Zizheng’s, wetting Lu Zizheng’s shoulder.
She could no longer deceive herself, and she had to face this heart-wrenching reality.
Lu Zizheng didn’t love her anymore. Her heart and eyes were filled only with that woman named Jiang Huaixi. There was no possibility left for them.
In the end, she had lost.
Lian Xuan sniffled, wiped her tears, and comforted Lu Zizheng, “Let’s go to the hospital and get your wound treated. Tomorrow, you’ll go back to find Jiang Huaixi. Trust me, if she hasn’t told you, it’s because she loves you more than anyone else and doesn’t want you to get hurt. As for the voice recorder, don’t worry, leave it to me. I will definitely, definitely find it for you.”
She knew she hadn’t lost to Jiang Huaixi.
She had simply lost to Lu Zizheng, lost to what they called fate, lost to time.
She admitted defeat.
- “tiger’s mouth” refers to the fleshy part of the hand at the base of the thumb and the index finger. This area is also called the “web” of the hand.