STT – Chapter 72

The most beautiful thing is not a rainy day, but the eaves under which I once hid from the rain with you

On that Saturday, Lu Zizheng woke up early, finished her morning routine, and had a simple breakfast of warm milk and two slices of bread. She left five minutes earlier than the agreed-upon time with Lian Xuan, prepared to wait by the door for Lian Xuan to come out.

To her surprise, as soon as Lu Zizheng opened the door, she found Lian Xuan already waiting by the door, looking fully prepared with a bag slung over her shoulder and holding… a bag of breakfast?

Upon seeing Lu Zizheng emerge, Lian Xuan immediately stood up straight, tilted her head, her black hair falling gracefully over one shoulder, and greeted with a gentle smile, “Good morning, have you had breakfast?” She raised the soy milk and buns she held in one hand slightly and explained, “I bought breakfast on my way back from morning practice and brought you a portion. I was worried it might be too early, and you might not have woken up yet, so I didn’t knock on your door. I waited here to see if I might coincidentally bump into you when you come out to buy breakfast.”

Lu Zizheng gently closed the door, looked at her, and bit her lip with a hint of embarrassment, “I’ve already eaten…”

Lian Xuan was briefly taken aback by her words but then shook her head lightly, wearing a nonchalant expression, and said, “It’s okay, I was just worried it might be too early, and your daily routine might be different. I was afraid you wouldn’t have time to eat.” After saying that, she turned toward the door, saying, “Wait a moment, I’ll put it away and come out.”

Lu Zizheng softly responded with a “yes” and observed as Lian Xuan turned and went inside, her brow furrowing in thought.

So, how early had she actually started waiting at the door?

As it was still relatively early, with gentle morning light and a cool breeze, the streets were unusually empty. Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan walked side by side, maintaining a comfortable distance. Lu Zizheng took a moment to survey her surroundings and remarked casually, “It seems like I’ve been here for quite some time, but this is the first time I’ve observed the scenery along this street so attentively.”

Lian Xuan tilted her head to glance at Lu Zizheng, appearing intrigued, and replied with a smile, “Since I arrived here, I’ve been jogging in this area every day. So, I’m quite familiar with this road.” She extended her hand to point ahead, casually introducing, “See that flowerbed over there? There’s a small path leading from there to a park. Every morning, you’ll find many elderly men and women dancing and practicing Tai Chi in there. They seem to have more energy than most young people who are still half-asleep. Then, after the park, a bit further ahead, there’s a famous historical residence. It has a very rustic appearance and a unique architectural style compared to the surrounding buildings. I’ve always wanted to go inside and take a look. And then, a bit further…”

As Lian Xuan spoke about these places, she did so in an orderly manner, listing them as if they were precious gems. Lu Zizheng watched her with interest, listening attentively.

As Lian Xuan continued with this route of introduction, by the time she had finished, they were unexpectedly right in front of X University.

Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but smile and playfully remarked to Lian Xuan, “It looks like you’re better suited for the role of a tour guide than I am. Morning runs are a great habit, not only for keeping fit but also for broadening one’s horizons.”

Lian Xuan gracefully curved her lips, revealing two shallow dimples. After a brief moment of hesitation, she extended an invitation, “Morning runs are indeed wonderful. How about joining me for a workout in the morning? I find it a bit challenging to stay motivated when I’m running alone.”

She looked at Lu Zizheng with a smile on her face, her gaze open and natural, as if it were just a casual suggestion. Only Lian Xuan herself knew how rapidly her heart was beating and how her palms grew sweaty after uttering that question, filled with anticipation.

However, Lu Zizheng appeared oblivious and simply gave a casual smile, shaking her head gently in refusal, “I’m lazy. I can’t get up early. Let me sleep a little longer.” With that, she briskly walked toward X University, calling out, “Let’s hurry, the sun will be heating up soon.”

Lian Xuan observed her silhouette, subtly nodded, her expression briefly dimming. She sighed deeply and followed along.

With Lu Zizheng holding the campus card, the two of them easily entered X University. Lu Zizheng had prepared in advance and planned out their sightseeing route. She had a map in hand and guided Lian Xuan in through the East Gate, taking a scenic detour westward around the campus. Along the way, she provided explanations and even assisted with taking photos. Apart from declining to strike poses with Lian Xuan for photos, which left Lian Xuan somewhat disappointed, she proved to be a diligent and enthusiastic guide.

As noon approached, the sun gradually intensified. Both Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan were wearing sleeveless dresses, and after a short while in the sun, they both started to feel the heat.

Lu Zizheng found a shaded area under a tree, stopped, and retrieved an umbrella from her bag. Tilting her head slightly, she noticed Lian Xuan looking at her umbrella with eager, somewhat pitiful eyes. Lu Zizheng had a pretty good idea of what was going on and asked knowingly, “You didn’t bring an umbrella, did you?”

Lian Xuan nodded apologetically.

Lu Zizheng opened the umbrella and smiled softly, saying, “Let’s share it.”

Lian Xuan’s eyes curved, and she nodded, moving closer to Lu Zizheng and seeking shelter under the umbrella. As they continued walking and emerged from the shade of the trees, Lian Xuan naturally closed the distance between them, lightly holding the hand that was gripping the umbrella handle.

Due to her preference for women and her limited close friendships, aside from Jiang Huaixi and Xu Baihan, Lu Zizheng was somewhat sensitive and cautious about overly intimate physical contact.

The moment Lian Xuan drew closer and held Lu Zizheng’s hand, Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but briefly tense up, her expression becoming slightly awkward. In the next second, she pretended to be nonchalant and switched the hand holding the umbrella, saying, “It’s more convenient to hold it with this hand…” As she spoke, she moved away from Lian Xuan, with almost half her body outside the umbrella, exposed to the sunlight.

Lian Xuan couldn’t truly ignore Lu Zizheng’s deliberate distancing gesture. The smile on her face became slightly subdued. She dimmed her gaze, took the umbrella from Lu Zizheng’s hand, and acted as if she didn’t notice, speaking in her usual gentle tone, “Let me hold it.” She then tilted the umbrella slightly towards Lu Zizheng’s side, enveloping her entirely in the shade. Afterward, she moved her body away from the umbrella, proactively creating some distance from Lu Zizheng, not too close, not too far, just the right distance.

Lu Zizheng couldn’t quite discern whether Lian Xuan had noticed her deliberate actions. Nevertheless, they didn’t exchange many words and maintained their distance as they continued on toward the East Garden Cafeteria.

After enjoying lunch at the East Garden Cafeteria, they took a brief break and then proceeded to the library together, seeking refuge from the scorching afternoon sun and waiting for the right moment to resume their exploration.

After 2 o’clock in the afternoon, the sky unexpectedly began to darken, and the sunlight gradually faded away. Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but smile and commented, “Jiang Huaixi rarely checks the weather forecast, but it seems surprisingly accurate this time. It really looks like rain is approaching.”

So, they immediately departed from the library, taking advantage of the rare overcast weather, and commenced their afternoon sightseeing. Along the way, they passed by the Science and Technology building, the historically rich Economics and Finance Teaching building, the Nautical dormitories, various unique book café shops, and the renowned Bai Lu Zhou nature reserve. Lu Zizheng, to Lian Xuan’s pleasant surprise, possessed an in-depth knowledge of the history of these places, explaining them in great detail. Little did Lian Xuan know that Lu Zizheng had put in significant effort, treating this sightseeing opportunity as a rehearsal, aiming to impress Jiang Huaixi when they came together next time.

By evening, as they were exiting a distinctive bookstore near the International Education College and preparing to leave through the West Gate, Lu Zizheng suddenly felt something cool brushing against her face.

Lian Xuan, who had been by her side, suddenly sounded a bit excited in her typically gentle and composed voice, saying, “It’s going to rain…”

As she spoke, a few large raindrops fell onto Lu Zizheng. Without hesitation, Lu Zizheng tilted her head, lowered her shoulder, and was about to retrieve the umbrella she had just put away in her bag.

Unexpectedly, Lian Xuan was quicker and beat her to it. She swiftly pulled out a cardigan from Lu Zizheng’s bag, moved closer to her, raised her hand, and unfolded the cardigan, shielding both of their heads from the rain. She anxiously said to Lu Zizheng, “There’s a small pavilion ahead. Let’s run there to take shelter from the rain.”

Lu Zizheng, who had one hand still holding the just-retrieved umbrella, let out a soft “Ah” in surprise, feeling somewhat bewildered and unable to make sense of the situation. Before she could react, Lian Xuan gently nudged her with her arm, setting her in motion, and they began to run.

The rain intensified a bit, and Lian Xuan couldn’t completely cover them both with the cardigan. Raindrops fell freely on their faces. To seek shelter from the rain, Lu Zizheng reflexively reached out to help Lian Xuan pull over a corner of the cardigan, propping it up. As they ran, she was panting for breath and cast a puzzled and bewildered look at Lian Xuan, who was running and laughing beside her. Her face wore an expression of utter confusion: Why not just use the umbrella?

After a challenging run, they finally reached the shelter of the Forget-Me-Not Pavilion. Lu Zizheng, fatigued, leaned against one of the pavilion’s pillars, breathing heavily. After catching her breath a bit, she wanted to ask Lian Xuan why she hadn’t used the umbrella. However, when she turned her head, she saw Lian Xuan cradling the cardigan, gazing at her with gentle, unblinking eyes, a tender smile forming in her dimples, almost overflowing with warmth.

Lu Zizheng felt an unexplained heaviness in her heart, so she turned her gaze away, avoiding direct eye contact with Lian Xuan. She heard Lian Xuan’s soft voice, speaking gently and smiling as she asked, “Are you wondering why I didn’t use the umbrella when we had one?”

Lu Zizheng nodded slightly.

Lian Xuan blinked her eyes, her expression tender, and explained, “Actually, it was just a spontaneous whim. This cardigan was initially meant for sun protection when it’s too hot.” She paused, and a somewhat rare blush colored her smile. “You know, when I used to watch movies, I always found scenes that looked very romantic, like the male and female protagonists running in the rain to seek shelter, to be childish and unrealistic. But deep down, I secretly envied them. If I could find someone who made me willing to be silly and crazy together, with mutual affection, it would be a rare stroke of luck.”

Finishing her explanation, she looked at Lu Zizheng, her eyes carrying a hint of mischievousness, and added, “So today, with the perfect timing, location, and the right person, I couldn’t resist being a bit whimsical and silly. Even though by my usual standards, it’s undeniably childish and hard to take seriously, I must say, it feels rather nice.”

Lu Zizheng was struck by Lian Xuan’s gentle and pure smile and her clean yearning. She let go of her mask, revealing her own playful side, which didn’t quite match her elegant and gentle appearance but surprisingly displayed a hint of childlike charm. Lu Zizheng looked at her, suppressed a smile, and teased, “So, are you trying to say that there’s a romantic little girl living in your heart?”

Lian Xuan, feeling a bit embarrassed, brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled, not denying it. She noticed that Lu Zizheng’s bangs were wet from the rain, slightly disheveled and clinging to her forehead. She took out a tissue from her bag and instinctively reached out to help Lu Zizheng wipe it away, her eyes filled with tenderness.

Lu Zizheng, like a startled deer, hastily stepped back. Then, realizing she may have overreacted, she avoided Lian Xuan’s gaze and accepted the tissue from her, awkwardly explaining, “I can do it myself.”

After hastily wiping a few times and noticing that the rain was gradually easing outside, she playfully asked, “Romantic little girl, the rain is getting lighter. Shall we head back? Do you want to try walking in the drizzle without an umbrella?”

As Lian Xuan’s hand hesitated in the air when Lu Zizheng moved away, she eventually let it drop with a hint of awkwardness. Her gaze turned contemplative as she watched the gentle rain outside, looking as if lost in thought. Upon hearing Lu Zizheng’s question, Lian Xuan refocused and smiled faintly, playfully agreeing, “Sure, but if you catch a cold because of this, I won’t be responsible.”

Lu Zizheng simply smiled faintly and shook her head, saying, “Of course not.” With that, she gracefully stepped out of the Forget-Me-Not Pavilion, entering the drizzling rain.

Lian Xuan stood outside the pavilion, gazing at Lu Zizheng with her long hair flowing behind her, swaying in the breeze. In this misty rain, she looked like a painting, and her heart couldn’t help but flutter. She turned around, slightly raised her head, glanced at the pavilion’s plaque, her expression turning somber, a hint of melancholy in her tone. “Forget-Me-Not Pavilion, forget-me-not, who else remembers without forgetting…”

On the streets gradually leading away from X University, in the rain curtain getting closer to their apartment, Lian Xuan finally couldn’t contain the bitterness that had built up during their journey. With a mix of hope and regret, she asked, “Zizheng, if, if I hadn’t been so selfish and cowardly back then, if there hadn’t been so many twists of fate, would our relationship have been more than just friendship?”

Lu Zizheng, walking not far from her, paused her steps for a moment and let out a soft sigh, responding with a calm and detached tone, “But, Lian Xuan, life has no ‘ifs,’ only outcomes.”

Past emotions, the sincere feelings they once had, were undeniable and didn’t need to be denied. If there were ‘ifs,’ removing the obstacles that caused their separation, they would have continued to love each other. As long as the love was genuine, which loving couple hasn’t thought about being together forever until old age?

However, making all these assumptions, in comparison to the present, was like chasing illusions, something unattainable. She had loved Lian Xuan in the past, that was true, but now, she didn’t love Lian Xuan anymore, that was also true.

Why did both Jiang Huaixi and Lian Xuan ask her such questions? Or perhaps, did they both hope she could provide them with some kind of proof?

Lu Zizheng’s voice was soft and faint, ethereal, “Actually, the way things are now is quite good, isn’t it? We’re still friends.”

Lian Xuan pursed her lips tightly into a thin line, merely lowering her head, offering no response to Lu Zizheng.

In truth, for many years, Lu Zizheng had believed that becoming friends after a breakup was impossible because truly loving each other made it too cruel to face each other. And now, because of Jiang Huaixi and Lian Xuan, she suddenly realized that the reason post-breakup friendships were often impossible was that there was still resentment between them, or perhaps, the love still lingered, ultimately, they couldn’t escape the fact that they hadn’t let go.

And now, she could face Lian Xuan without any animosity, which just shows that she had truly let go, without any lingering concerns.

However, at this moment, looking at the silent Lian Xuan by her side, thinking of that night when Jiang Huaixi’s expression was clouded and inscrutable, and the recent inexplicable silence when Jiang Huaixi mentioned Lian Xuan, Lu Zizheng seemed to suddenly understand.

Lian Xuan seemed not to have understood; for her, everything had become the past, irretrievable. As for herself, perhaps she wasn’t as confident as she had imagined? Towards Lian Xuan or herself?

Lu Zizheng’s steps gradually grew heavier, and her brows furrowed slightly. Maybe this distance wasn’t suitable for her and Lian Xuan after all?

Lian Xuan wouldn’t give up, and Jiang Huaixi wouldn’t find peace.

Lu Zizheng sighed deeply in her heart. Huaixi, even if I wholeheartedly follow your Zen, there are still some things I can’t comprehend without your guidance. To truly understand and sustain love, maybe there’s still a lot more for us to learn.