The Princess’ Shadow Guard – Chapter 44
by Little PandaMerely a Hair Tie?
Winter was more than half over, and the New Year festival had arrived.
Although it was New Year’s Eve1, Murong Can still went to the martial arts training ground to practice. Murong Yan, unwilling to watch the feigned pretenses of the others, drank wine alone in her own courtyard.
Warm wine entered her throat, but her body remained ice-cold.
Looking at the neatly placed black hair ribbon on the opposite side of the tea table, though it was only clear wine2, the woman felt her throat was sour and astringent, as if it were being torn apart by fierce flames.
Murong Yan was draped in a bright red outer robe, with not a trace of black on her entire body, yet it was not to celebrate with the boisterous people outside.
She was just unwilling to admit it.
It seemed that wearing any other color would be like mourning for the deceased.
She refused to acknowledge it.
The woman, who since childhood never forgot what her eyes had seen3, still remembered this same time last year, being enveloped in a warm embrace, the way Ming Qin lowered her shoulder to let her lean on it.
The woman also still remembered their intertwined breaths, Ming Qin gazing at her intently, the soft voice as she intimately caressed her cheek and praised her beauty.
Inside her mind, from time to time, still echoed Ming Qin, red-faced and drunk, shouting that she liked her, promising she would not leave her.
Murong Yan’s heart ached with a distended pain.
And at that time, she herself had pledged with sincere oaths4, to become the person Ah Qin cared about most.
But now, everything was a mess.
She drained the wine in her cup in one gulp. When she went to pour herself more, she found the jade bottle5 was already empty.
Five or six different kinds of wine jars6 were rolling on the floor.
Murong Yan suddenly laughed.
Covering her face.
As if laughing at this absurd and cruel world, and as if laughing at herself for making such a casual wish.
A huge wave of fatigue washed over her, as if it would snap the woman’s always proud posture and slender spine.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
Like a camel in the desert carrying a thousand gold7, if one more thing were added, even something as light as a feather, it would collapse with a crash.
Unbearably haggard, she fell into a deep sleep just like that.
Under her eyes still hung undried tears.
Midnight.
Fine snow was drifting outside.
In the main hall, having finished the reunion dinner8, Prince Yu, along with Concubine Liu and the father and son pair Murong Wen, three generations of grandfather and grandson, were keeping the New Year’s vigil9 together.
The atmosphere was joyous and harmonious.
The young Murong Fu, unable to stay awake, was dozing off, humming softly as he lay in Concubine Liu’s arms.
A flurry of chaotic footsteps approached from a distance, interrupting the few people who were drinking and chatting.
The area under Murong Yan’s eyes was crimson, her clothes were in disarray, the bright red outer robe had slipped from her shoulder, and her expression held none of its usual composure. Barefoot, she violently pushed open the door.
Ignoring the others’ surprised expressions, she walked straight to the somewhat dazed boy, grabbed him by the collar, and said in a low voice, “Where is the thing?”
Seeing the boy had yet to come to his senses and was just staring at her blankly, Murong Yan’s slender arm exerted force, yanking him off Concubine Liu’s lap. She raised her voice and asked again, “Where is This Palace’s thing?”
“Yue… Yue’er.” Prince Yu said, looking at the woman’s unusual expression, and spoke out to mediate, “If Fu’er did something wrong, just say so, just say so. Don’t be rough with the child.”
Taking a deep breath, Murong Yan forcefully suppressed her churning mania and fury, her eyes fixed as she looked down at the boy and said, “This Palace just woke and discovered that a hairpin worth a thousand gold, bestowed upon This Palace by the former emperor, was lost. I asked the servants, and they said they only saw you in This Palace’s courtyard this evening? Hmm?”
“Impossible!” Murong Wen grew a little flustered hearing that such a valuable item was lost. “Fu’er, did you really go to your aunt’s courtyard and take the imperially bestowed10 hairpin?”
“I didn’t!”
Murong Fu’s face was flushed from being pulled, and he cried out, “I swear I didn’t! I didn’t take a hairpin! I only took a black hair tie!”
Hearing the boy’s words, the others all breathed a sigh of relief.
She, however, sneered, her expression growing even darker. “I didn’t expect the Prince Yu Manor would actually produce a thief.”
Beneath her dry, hoarse voice was a violence on the verge of erupting. She lifted the boy by the collar and took a few steps back. “So, where is This Palace’s hair tie?”
Seeing the boy still stunned, Murong Yan’s voice trembled as she questioned, “The hair tie you stole from This Palace, where is it?”
“I… I don’t know.” Murong Fu looked at the woman before him, whose voice was not loud but whose eyes were sinister, and he cowered slightly.
“You don’t know?” the woman repeated, lowering her head and setting the boy down.
Just as everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Murong Yan, with strength from nowhere, grabbed Murong Fu by the neck and slammed him against a door pillar, gritting her teeth. “Are you saying you don’t know where the hair tie you stole is? Hmm?”
Her knuckles exerted force, and the boy struggled to breathe.
“Fu’er!”
“Let go!”
“Yue’er! What are you doing! It’s just a hair tie.”
The few people beside her scrambled to their feet, and Prince Yu rebuked her loudly.
“Merely a hair tie?” Murong Yan repeated faintly, the tiger’s mouth of her hand still locked tight, as she glanced sideways at the flustered group. “In This Palace’s hand is also merely a life.”
Her tone was light and airy.
“Think carefully.” She looked at the pale-faced boy in her grasp, her expression blank as she warned in a low voice, “Think carefully about where you took This Palace’s hair tie.”
A hint of madness seemed to churn in her eyes.
“I… I…” Nearly suffocating, Murong Fu’s mind raced.
I had only wanted to get back at this unfamiliar aunt. Even though Father had enjoined and instructed me a thousand and ten thousand times not to provoke her, why should I, who is so doted upon, have to be utterly respectful to this arrogant and crippled woman? And why, as soon as she arrived, did the large courtyard where I always play have to be given to her? It’s clearly been this young master’s since I was born! Peeking through the crack in the door, I saw how this woman treasured that tattered rope as if her life depended on it, so I snuck in to teach her a lesson. That stupid rope wasn’t anything special, I have no idea which pond I casually tossed it into long ago.
“The pond…” the boy struggled to squeeze out the words.
Murong Yan’s hand loosened slightly. “The pond? Which pond?”
Gasping for precious air, Murong Fu hesitated, “Probably… in the fish pond in the main courtyard…”
As soon as she heard the boy’s answer, Murong Yan abruptly let go. Ignoring the boy who had collapsed to the ground, gasping in distress, she turned and walked toward the fish pond without looking back.
The woman, barefoot, stepped onto the snowy ground, walking with difficulty toward the fish pond step by step.
The pond was very shallow, but a thin layer of ice had formed on top due to the cold of the night.
Murong Yan, without hesitation, stepped forward and broke the layer of ice. Her bright red robes, soaked by the cold water, became incredibly heavy, but she continued onward until the lower half of her body was submerged in the water.
She reached out with hands that had never touched spring water11 and, bending over, anxiously began to dig through the mud in the pond on this sky-cold, earth-frozen snowy day.
Her delicate fingers were cut by the stones, oozing tiny beads of blood, but whether because her hands were numb from the cold or because her mind was consumed with worry, she was completely unaware of the injuries.
Ah Qin.
It was my fault.
I lost your thing.
I’m sorry.
I lost you, too.
Ah Qin.
I’m sorry.
The mud at the bottom of the pond caused Murong Yan’s prosthetic limb to sink deep, and losing her balance, she fell heavily several times.
The cold wind blew against the drenched woman. Her lips were deathly pale, and her entire person was drained of color.
Rotten lotus leaf stems and roots were turned up from the mud, and buried fish bones gave off a foul stench, but still, she persisted.
After an unknown amount of time, Murong Yan only felt her body refusing to move anymore, her consciousness gradually drifting away.
The last thing echoing in her mind was only Ming Qin.
Ah Qin.
I really miss you so much.
LP: Re-translated on August 11, 2025
Footnotes
- 除夕 | chú xī | Literally “to get rid of the evening.” This is the last day of the lunar year, a time for the culturally significant family reunion dinner (團圓飯 | tuányuán fàn) and staying up late to welcome the new year (守岁 | shǒu suì).
- 清酒 | qīngjiǔ | A type of clear, distilled or fermented rice wine. While the term is also used for Japanese sake, in a Chinese context it refers to a traditional Chinese alcoholic beverage.
- 过目不忘 | guò mù bù wàng | A Chinese idiom (chengyu). Literally “to pass the eyes and not forget.” It describes the ability to remember everything one has seen, equivalent to having a photographic memory.
- 信誓旦旦 | xìn shì dàn dàn | A Chinese idiom (chengyu). Literally “believe-oath-sincere-sincere.” It means to make a solemn vow or a firm pledge.
- 玉瓶 | yù píng | A bottle made of jade. In Chinese culture, jade (玉 | yù) is a highly prized material symbolizing purity, beauty, nobility, and immortality. A jade bottle would be a luxurious and valuable item.
- 酒甕 | jiǔ wèng | A large, wide-mouthed earthenware jar, typically used for fermenting or storing wine or other liquids.
- 千金 | qiān jīn | Literally “a thousand pieces of gold.” In this context, it is used metaphorically to mean an extremely heavy burden. The phrase can also refer to something of great value or be used as an elegant term for someone’s daughter.
- 团圆饭 | tuányuán fàn | The “reunion dinner” held on New Year’s Eve. The term “tuanyuan” itself means “reunion,” and this meal is one of the most important cultural traditions, where all family members gather together.
- 守岁 | shǒu suì | A traditional custom on New Year’s Eve where family members stay up all night to see the old year out and welcome the new one. It is believed to ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune.
- 御赐 | yù cì | Literally “imperially bestowed.” The character 御 (yù) is associated with anything related to the emperor, so this term signifies a gift from the emperor, which carries great honor and value.
- 春水 | chūn shuǐ | Literally “spring water.” The phrase “hands that have never touched spring water” is an idiom used to describe the delicate, soft hands of a high-status woman who has never had to perform manual labor.
dang. her storming in like that and grabbing the brat by the neck was EPIC. i clapped my hands in my heart when reading that part. and her family is full of weak scums ohlawd. how the hell did her father, the pathetic weak sauce, even become general???
dang. her storming in like that and grabbing the brat by the neck was EPIC. i clapped my hands in my heart when reading that part. and her family is full of weak scums ohlawd. how the hell did her father, the pathetic weak sauce, even become general???
Yeeshh, her side of the family is really.. terrible
Yeeshh, her side of the family is really.. terrible
Aw he’s kinda annoying! That’s so rude to beat a tiger and steal something? It’s too much. Wonder when Ming qing will come back
Yikes 😭
This spoiled brat, damn. And thank you for the chapter!
Ahhhh, my hearts hurts for Murong Yan. To lose her only physical reminder of Ming Qin is painful (ಥ﹏ಥ)
Aw he’s kinda annoying! That’s so rude to beat a tiger and steal something? It’s too much. Wonder when Ming qing will come back
Yikes 😭
This spoiled brat, damn. And thank you for the chapter!
Ahhhh, my hearts hurts for Murong Yan. To lose her only physical reminder of Ming Qin is painful (ಥ﹏ಥ)