The Princess’ Shadow Guard – Chapter 28

Ah Qin, I want more (water)

“What did you say?!”

Murong Xiao roared, his eyes crimson.

            

His always-neat coronet was askew, hanging loosely to one side. With a single sweep of his hand, he sent everything on the table before him crashing to the floor. The inkstone holding the ink fell heavily, its contents staining the robes of the kneeling crowd.

As if venting, the man grabbed a nearby jade ewer and hurled it into the group of people. The shattering fragments tore through the fine robes of several individuals. Then, Murong Xiao lunged forward, grabbed the lead man by his hair, and forced him to his knees to meet his gaze, his tone sinister. “What did you just say? Say it again.”

The tearing pain from his scalp made the kneeling man’s face turn pale. He fought to control his trembling body, his thoughts still clear as he spoke, “This subordinate official, following Your Highness’s order, went to Cangyue Tower to bring back the Commandery Princess Chongwen. The guards and maids there noticed nothing unusual, but by the time this subordinate official arrived, the Commandery Princess was already gone. All that was found was an iron hook on the window used to secure a rope. I fear she has been abducted by someone.”

            

“Abducted? Then why aren’t you giving chase?” Murong Xiao exploded with rage. He yanked his arm, viciously smashing the man’s forehead into the ground three or four times. The savage thuds sent a chill down the spines of the other kneeling people.

Fresh red blood stained the man’s vision. He struggled to open his eyes and answered with difficulty, “This subordinate official… has already sent men to search… all over the capital in the past two days… but we have yet to find the Commandery Princess. I fear the Commandery Princess has already left the city…”

“You say she’s left the city?”

            

Murong Xiao flung the man aside, ignoring him as he collapsed to the ground, groaning in pain. He muttered to himself, “Elder Sister has left the city? Impossible, this is impossible.”

One of the kneeling old men spoke up, “Your Highness, I fear the Commandery Princess has already been abducted by the people from the Shadow Guard Camp.”

“The Shadow Guard Camp?”

            

Murong Xiao looked down at the old man prostrated at his feet. “Zhang Chi​¹, how could Elder Sister…”

His eyes suddenly widened as if he’d thought of something. He gritted his teeth and murmured, “Damn it! That damn shadow guard, that damn woman wearing Elder Sister’s earring!”

The man’s hair was disheveled and he was barefoot, his entire being exuding a terrifying madness.

            

“Zhang Chi!”

He roared, “Send men out of the city! Bring Elder Sister and that goddamn woman back to Gu​²! If you can’t find them, none of you will live.”

“Your Highness!”

            

Zhang Chi spoke up, enduring the immense pressure, “Your Highness, the most urgent matter is to find the Eleventh Prince and ensure Your Highness can ascend the throne without any worries! There are still many military commanders who have not yet submitted. Commandery Princess Chongwen… is truly not…”

“Silence! How dare you, an old fool, talk back to Gu!”

Murong Xiao glared viciously at his own maternal uncle. “Gu is the legitimate heir; it is only right and proper that I inherit the throne. But if Gu cannot have Elder Sister, what use is this imperial power to me! Scram, all of you scram! Do not come see Gu until you have found Elder Sister!”

            

Watching the crowd scatter like birds and beasts​³, leaving the hall vast and empty, Murong Xiao slumped onto the dragon throne, panting heavily. He clutched his head in anguish.

Why did Elder Sister have to flee? Why would Elder Sister rather run away with a lowly person than stay by Gu’s side?

Why? Just why?

            

If I had known it would come to this, I should have just cut off her other leg back then.

That autumn hunt, it was I who sent assassins to try and kill Father Emperor.

I never expected that Elder Sister, having just finished her mourning period, would be traveling with Father Emperor. Nor did I expect that Elder Sister would shield Father Emperor, stepping in front of the assassin. Those goddamn things I sent actually struck Elder Sister’s leg with a poisoned sword, forcing her to have it amputated.

            

Ah, I so loved watching Elder Sister dance. Missing a leg, she could never dance again.

Those damn things!

Those things that don’t know their place!

            

Although I personally whipped the assassins’ corpses thousands of times, seeing Elder Sister nearly die still wasn’t enough to quell my anger.

However, it was precisely because of this that the damned Marquis Changping actually took the initiative to annul the engagement.

Yes, that’s right! That soft, rotten man who has no self-awareness doesn’t deserve Elder Sister!

            

It’s a good thing the engagement was annulled, otherwise I wouldn’t have a second Princess Consort Yu to kill.

Eight years ago, I traded one leg to ensure Elder Sister would not belong to another man.

Now, if I break her remaining leg, will I be able to keep Elder Sister by my side forever?

            

When Elder Sister returns, I’ll build an even bigger cage.

I’ll break Elder Sister’s wings so she can never fly from my grasp, keeping her with me forever and ever.

Ah, and I’ll no longer have to force other women to drink contraceptive decoctions​⁴. I can finally be free of the binds of etiquette and touch the Elder Sister I’ve longed for day and night.

            

As Murong Xiao thought of this, a crazed look appeared in his eyes.

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On the fourth day of Ming Qin driving the carriage, aside from occasional short rests in between, they had been traveling day and night.

The farther they got from the capital, the more of a safety cushion they had.

            

The bumpy, potholed road made the small carriage rock from side to side.

Ming Qin couldn’t help but turn back, lift the small window flap, and say to the person inside, “We’ll hit the main road soon. We’ll find an inn to stop at for the night​⁵.”

Inside, the person didn’t reply immediately. After a moment, a weak voice came through. “Don’t worry about me. Ah Qin, just stick to the original plan.”

            

Ming Qin anxiously stopped the horse and dismounted. Opening the door, she saw Murong Yan struggling to sit up. Her face was pale with dark circles under her eyes, and a trace of the sour liquid she had just vomited still clung to her chapped lips.

Taking the wooden basin out of the carriage, Ming Qin cleaned out the filth without a hint of disgust, speaking drily, “It’s not because of you… it’s because the horse needs rest. And… and, I need to sleep.”

Racking her brain for a reason, Ming Qin couldn’t bear to see Murong Yan suffer any more torment from the arduous journey.

            

“Ah Qin, I’m really fine.”

Murong Yan remembered the person before her once saying she could go seven days without sleep on a mission, yet now she was struggling to find a clumsy excuse.

“No! I said the horse and I both need to rest. Besides… if you get sick, you’ll only slow us down!” Ming Qin’s words were fierce, but her hands were gentle as she supported the woman’s head and helped her drink water.

            

Ming Qin’s eyes were filled with heartache. The jolting of the carriage not only made Murong Yan dizzy, but it also caused extreme discomfort to her severed leg.

The coarse, dry rations were a world away from any food she, a noble Commandery Princess, had ever eaten, yet she never complained once. Instead, she constantly told Ming Qin not to worry about her.

Murong Yan took a sip of water and then turned her head away, refusing to drink another drop no matter how she was coaxed.

            

“You know I wouldn’t mind,” the shadow guard said, her tone aggrieved.

Ming Qin knew. Murong Yan was reluctant to drink more water because she didn’t want to trouble her for help relieving herself​⁶.

Out in the wilderness, it wasn’t like the Cangyue Tower, where everything had been meticulously designed for Murong Yan to use independently. Thus, every time she needed to urinate, she needed Ming Qin to half-carry her to do so.

            

Occasionally, when Murong Yan was too weak to have any strength, Ming Qin also had to place a hand on her lower abdomen and press lightly, even helping her clean up afterwards.

This was also why Ming Qin was so anxious to find an inn—the prolonged lack of water.

“But I mind, Ah Qin.”

            

Murong Yan tried to keep her tone even, but an unstoppable sadness filled her eyes. “I would mind.”

She had escaped the cage as she wished, thinking she could gain freedom, but now she had to trouble Ming Qin for even the most basic physiological needs.

She hated this.

            

Whether it was the sounds she made or the feeling of losing control in front of Ming Qin, every moment from start to finish made her feel ashamed.

Even though Ming Qin considerately closed her eyes every time, and had offered more than once to be blindfolded and have her ears plugged, this sense of shame still enveloped her deeply.

In truth, Murong Yan hated feeling so powerless, as if she could never change the feeling of being trapped.

            

From the bottom of her heart, she detested this version of herself that needed to depend on others.

Or rather, it was fear.

She was grateful she could rely on Ming Qin to escape and was happy to accept Ming Qin’s protection, but now, even something as simple as urinating required Ming Qin’s help. She suddenly felt like a burden.

            

Yes, a burden.

A heavy burden that could be discarded at any moment.

Murong Yan, who had never cared much for others, was for the first time afraid of being abandoned—because of Ming Qin.

            

Is Ah Qin truly willing to do these things for me? Or is it only because this is a ‘mission’ from the Shadow Guard Camp?

Which things does Ming Qin do willingly as a ‘person’? And which things is she forced to do as an imperial shadow guard?

How long can Ah Qin, as a ‘person,’ tolerate me? Will she leave me once the mission is over?

            

In Ah Qin’s eyes, am I Murong Yan or Commandery Princess Chongwen? Or perhaps, just as she once said, am I no different from a flatbread or a piece of candy in her eyes?

I have nothing now. I can’t offer anything to keep Ah Qin. No wealth, no beauty, no status, nothing at all…

Murong Yan’s chaotic, near-hysterical train of thought was interrupted by a cool, moist sensation on her lips and teeth.

            

Her mind went blank. Sweet water, passed from the mouth, felt like heavenly dew nourishing a field of withered flowers.

Ming Qin carefully passed the water from her mouth to hers, gently, as if worried the person in her arms might choke. Then, without a care, she licked away the trace of sourness from the corner of her mouth.

Just now, she had watched Murong Yan get lost in thought, not responding no matter how gently she called, her eyes filled with a sense of loss and endless sorrow.

            

She didn’t know what was troubling the woman, but she hated seeing Murong Yan like this.

“I said I don’t mind you troubling me. I won’t mind no matter what you become, so you shouldn’t mind either, okay?”

Ming Qin’s brow was furrowed, her tone resentful. She looked at the shocked face of the person in her arms. “Don’t refuse to drink water. Your body won’t be able to take it.”

            

“Ah Qin…” Murong Yan gently touched the space between Ming Qin’s brows.

Did Ming Qin just kiss me?

For the first time, she took the initiative to kiss me, a worthless burden?

            

And she said she wouldn’t mind no matter what I become, while still worrying about my health.

Does this mean Murong Yan is more than just a burden?

That I’m important.

            

‘Murong Yan’ is important to ‘Ming Qin’.

Pushing aside the complicated thoughts in her head, Murong Yan felt her heart soften. Her eyes reddened as she whispered softly, “Ah Qin, I want more.”

Tilting her head, “More?” Ming Qin took a sip of water and lowered her head again.

            

Feeling the person blocking her lips, she swallowed the sweet dew.

As Murong Yan gently stroked Ming Qin’s hair, she thought.

What I want more of isn’t water.

            

But this is fine too.

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LP: Re-translated on June 30, 2025

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