Peerless Beauty – Chapter 116
by Little PandaHome
I’m taking you home
Once upon a time, Jian Qing had tentatively asked her about her plans for the future, but she couldn’t utter a single word in response.
Now she could submit an answer, but Jian Qing had forgotten her, only silently looking at her.
“It’s okay, from 25 to 30, you still have 5 years to slowly consider whether you want to marry me or not,” Lu Yinxi said softly.
She had just given a belated answer, a response about her plans for the future.
Jian Qing released Lu Yinxi’s hand, placing her right palm on her cheek, and said faintly, “We knew each other even earlier, didn’t we?”
She always remembered that when she gave up the idea of ending her life, the name she thought of in her heart, the name she wrote down—was Lu Yinxi.
Lu Yinxi nodded and said gently, “If we count, we’ve known each other for a year.”
Jian Qing gently caressed her cheek: “Before, what was our relationship?”
Lu Yinxi bit her lip and asked in return, “To be able to say words of marriage, what do you think our relationship is?”
Jian Qing remained silent, tracing her features with a gentle gaze.
Lu Yinxi was used to Jian Qing’s silence, but this was her own confession…
How could she still be so calm and silent?
“You, do you not like me anymore? Or, in reality, can you not accept same-sex relationships?” Lu Yinxi probed.
Her eyes were still red, like a little rabbit.
Jian Qing gently caressed her tear mole, still not saying a word.
Seeing the hesitation and indecision in the person before her, Lu Yinxi gritted her teeth and said harshly, “If you don’t like me anymore, I won’t cling to you. If I try hard enough, I can even manage to stop liking you!”
Jian Qing was amused by her gritted teeth expression, a faint smile appearing in her eyes: “How would you try to do that?”
It was a joking question, but Lu Yinxi answered seriously, unwilling to give up her self-esteem and pride: “From now on, I won’t see you, won’t contact you, won’t pay attention to any news about you. I’ll tell myself not to waste time on someone who doesn’t love me. After three to five years, maybe I’ll be able to like someone else.”
“Is this how you confess?” Jian Qing frowned slightly, letting out a soft sigh.
Not saying how much she loved, but first saying she could manage to stop liking.
Those assumptions hadn’t even been realized, but just hearing Lu Yinxi say she could like someone else made her heart shatter into pieces.
Lu Yinxi said softly, “If you don’t like me anymore and I still cling to you, staying by your side, you’ll dislike me more and respect me less. Whether it’s you or anyone else, if the person I like has good character, they should tell me clearly. On the contrary, if they know they don’t like me but still remain ambiguous, casually beckoning me when they’re bored, making me unable to resist responding, like a little dog wagging its tail and begging for affection, that’s too pathetic. I can’t become that kind of person.”
A healthy relationship should make both parties become better. Even if it’s a love that doesn’t get a response, one should still see and learn many good qualities from that person, rather than falling into a vicious cycle of anxiety, self-doubt, and self-deprecation.
Jian Qing didn’t speak.
She did indeed admire people who could pick things up and let them go.
Because she herself wasn’t easy to let go.
“Yinxi, I do need time to consider,” Jian Qing responded seriously, and then subtly used a double negative, “I don’t dislike you.”
If it were someone else, Lu Yinxi would cautiously and conservatively think that not disliking doesn’t necessarily mean liking; it could be indifference.
But this person was Jian Qing, her Jian Qing, so she could be a bit more confident
—That means she likes me!
After the brief confession and date, Jian Qing was going to drive Lu Yinxi home.
Lu Yinxi didn’t want to ride in the car; she wanted to take the subway with her.
Jian Qing asked her, “Aren’t you afraid of being recognized?”
Lu Yinxi shook her head: “I’m not afraid. It’s almost New Year, there are fewer people. Besides, I’m wearing a mask, scarf, and hat. I’m not so famous that everyone knows me yet.”
She pulled Jian Qing into the subway station. Along the way, many passersby cast glances at them.
Jian Qing was tall, wearing a navy blue double-breasted coat, which made her look even more mature and reserved.
Suddenly, Lu Yinxi reached out and pulled off Jian Qing’s gray scarf, putting her own white scarf around Jian Qing’s neck.
After exchanging scarves, Lu Yinxi lowered her head and took a deep breath.
The cold fragrance penetrated her lungs.
Her favorite scent.
She sniffed a few more times and said softly, “Teacher Jian, you can take your time to consider whether to marry me or not, but about coming home with me for New Year’s, you need to give me an answer within three days.”
Jian Qing looked at her: “Won’t your family mind?”
“I only have my mom left at home. Last time I went back, I talked to her a bit. As long as I don’t do anything illegal, immoral, or damaging to my self-esteem, she won’t interfere with my relationships. Oh, I don’t know if you remember me telling you, but she’s a cardiothoracic surgeon, in the same field as you.”
Jian Qing’s eyes were pensive: “Is she going to check my papers?”
Hearing this, Lu Yinxi burst into laughter, remembering when she first met Jian Qing and was secretly checking her papers on her phone, only to be caught red-handed.
“Don’t worry, your academic level will definitely pass muster.”
They went down the stairs and stood side by side in the farthest corner, waiting for the train.
As they stood there, Lu Yinxi hooked her pinky finger with Jian Qing’s left pinky.
The cool finger joint hooked in her hand, the sound of the subway entering the station rang out, and the train rumbled from afar, carriages quickly passing by.
Amidst the noise, Lu Yinxi turned her head and looked at Jian Qing’s beautiful profile: “Dr. Jian, New Year’s is coming soon. After the New Year, you’ll be 30 by traditional age counting. You bad person, you’ll tell me you don’t have the energy to play around with a girl in her 20s, you’ll tell me not to bother you…”
Jian Qing held Lu Yinxi’s hand back, somewhat confused: “Why are you saying such strange things?”
Because you once said these things…
Lu Yinxi lowered her head and kicked at the ground, then looked at Jian Qing and continued: “I confessed to you today because I wanted to tell you that I don’t want you to see me as a fleeting fancy. I’m serious, I want to be with you. You accepted my confession, so from now on, you can’t go on blind dates. You have to date me.”
Jian Qing made a sound of agreement.
They got on the subway and sat in a relatively empty carriage. Lu Yinxi continued to chatter: “Blind dates aren’t good. Those men are definitely only interested in you because you’re beautiful. They want you to have their children. We both studied medicine, we know how much damage childbirth can do to a woman’s body. I won’t make you have children, of course, and I won’t have children for you either. If you like kids, we can adopt one. But you don’t seem to like kids, so we can just keep some small animals, cats and dogs. I’ve even thought of names: the cat can be called ‘Facai’ (發財 – fā cái, meaning “to get rich”), and the dog can be called ‘Ping’an’ (平安 – píng ān, meaning “safe and sound”). You seem to dislike cats because they shed, but I promise I’ll take care of the cleaning…”
Jian Qing looked at the station sign and raised her hand to rub her forehead.
Why did she have so much to say?
“Also, getting a certificate abroad is just a formality, it doesn’t have much legal effect in China. If you don’t like formalities, we don’t have to get a certificate, but we can have a wedding. We can set up mutual guardianship. For the rest of our lives, we’ll be each other’s guardians. This is all part of my plan for after 30. You still have 5 years to slowly evaluate me.”
Jian Qing turned her head and asked Lu Yinxi, “You’re not evaluating me?”
“I’ve already evaluated you. You’re pretty good, you’re good to me, you look good, you’re capable, and your character, well, it’s not too bad.”
Jian Qing frowned: “Not too bad?”
Lu Yinxi muttered softly: “You should know your own nature better than I do.”
Jian Qing glanced at her sideways.
She tilted her head, leaning on Jian Qing’s shoulder, changing the subject: “You’ve forgotten so many things. If you can remember, that’s best. If you can’t remember, it’s okay too. As long as you’re safe and sound and by my side, I’m content.”
If Jian Qing couldn’t remember, she would keep those memories herself, for a lifetime.
Jian Qing looked down at her, the blank area in her heart gradually being filled.
Lu Yinxi tilted her head on Jian Qing’s shoulder: “I’m going to sleep for a while. Last night I was agonizing all night about whether to confess to you or not, I didn’t sleep at all.”
She took out her wireless earphones, put one in her own ear and one in Jian Qing’s ear, and slowly closed her eyes.
The song playing was an old one, 《原來你也在這裏》 (Yuánlái Nǐ Yě Zài Zhèlǐ – “So You’re Here Too”).
Is that person only in dreams? Why have I used all my strength, only to get half a lifetime of memories in return?
If it weren’t for your longing eyes, if it weren’t for my redemption of feelings, meeting in the vast sea of people among thousands of mountains and waters, oh, so you’re here too.
The train kept moving forward, and they sat in the carriage, leaning on each other.
“Ah Qing, are you changing shifts for the New Year? Triple daily wages.”
In previous years, Jian Qing didn’t go home for the New Year and was willing to stay on duty in the department.
This year, Jian Qing wasn’t scheduled for a shift. The colleague who was scheduled for New Year’s Eve was the first to ask her about changing shifts.
Jian Qing hesitated for a moment and refused: “No change.”
The colleague thought the money wasn’t enough and held up five fingers: “Five times!”
“No change.”
“Ten times! We’re colleagues, don’t fleece me too much.”
Jian Qing still said: “No change.” After a pause, she added, “It’s not about the money.”
She had plans this year.
The colleague clicked their tongue: “This is strange. How did you change? Did you find someone?”
Jian Qing gave an ambiguous answer: “I’m going home.”
“Oh, going home. You’re going to visit home. It’s been several years since I’ve seen you go home. Alright then, I’ll go talk to Xiao Zhang and see if we can switch shifts.”
New Year’s shifts are the hardest to change. Everyone wants to reunite with their families. Usually, only local colleagues would consider switching with colleagues from out of town.
Everyone doesn’t lack money, what they lack is time to accompany their families.
Two days before New Year’s Eve, Lu Yinxi was already staying at Jian Qing’s house and wouldn’t leave.
These days, she would ask every other day: “Dr. Jian, will you come home with me?”
“Teacher Jian, are you willing to come home with me for the New Year?”
The day before New Year’s Eve, Lu Yinxi hugged the stuffed toy on the sofa and asked again: “Dr. Jian, can I take you home for the New Year?”
Jian Qing fiddled with the potted plant that Lu Yinxi had bought for the living room and responded: “Okay.”
Thank you for all your hard work on translating this novel! I love it the story, and wish it will never end. Although that means you will have to work extra harder ;P