Life is Like a Journey Against the Current

Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 123

by Little Panda

Volume 4: Union

Ichigo Ichie

Understanding the essence of Ichigo Ichie is the most sincere gratitude towards fate.

[Ichigo Ichie – Japanese concept meaning “one time, one meeting” – treasuring the unrepeatable nature of a moment]

Lu Qingshi had a very long dream.

In the dream was a spring blooming with flowers [brilliant and beautiful].

Papa and Mama were still alive, Lele was also still living, and the family of four was harmonious and happy.

The little one would burrow into her embrace and sweetly call “Mama”, would act coquettishly with her, would kiss her cheeks, and would also say some childish things to her.

Everything around was blurry, only Lele’s face was as clear as yesterday.

She was deeply immersed in this dream state, unable to pull herself out.

All disasters had not yet happened, how wonderful.

In this dream, the sky was forever blue, the grass forever green, without any of those unbearable pains, everyone’s face wore smiles.

Until water droplets suddenly fell from the sky, her forehead felt ice-cold, she hadn’t had such a clear sensation for a long time.

Lu Qingshi froze, the scene changed rapidly, blue sky white clouds and grassland disappeared, and she fell again into a white light.

She instinctively reached out to grab: “Lele!”

“Mama, I’m here” the child poked his head out from her embrace, he seemed unchanged, still looking like he did years ago, pupils black and bright, corners of his lips wearing a smile.

That white light gradually disappeared too, Lu Qingshi’s world turned completely black, she seemed to have forgotten something, yet seemed to recall someone’s face.

She saw Papa and Mama appear in the darkness, Papa still looked like before, cultured and gentle, Mama elegant and beautiful, they waved to Lele, gesturing him to come over.

“Mama, I have to go to Grandfather and Grandmother’s place now…” Lele reluctantly rose from her embrace, Lu Qingshi held him tight, feeling directly that if they separated now, she would never see Lele again.

“No…”

“Qingshi…” The rain fell harder and harder, someone was calling her, Lu Qingshi painfully held her head in her hands, a woman’s clear and beautiful face flashed through her mind.

She suddenly couldn’t remember that person’s name.

Another drop of water crashed down, in the droplet’s rainbow-colored splendor, she saw two figures in blue and white leaning against each other, with a background of raging fire.

The woman in the flame-blue firefighter uniform turned her head, Lu Qingshi’s pupils suddenly contracted.

Papa’s hand rested on her shoulder: “Qingshi, you should go back.”

“No, Papa, Lele, I…” Lu Qingshi futilely reached out to grab, but Lele had already risen with Grandfather and walked into the darkness.

She saw Papa and Mama holding Lele’s hands standing before a door, their expressions gradually becoming unclear.

Lu Qingshi stumbled forward two steps, that door opened, revealing eternal white light, while she alone remained in the darkness.

“Lele, say goodbye to Mama” she heard Mama’s gentle voice, tears flowed down the small child’s face as he waved to her.

“Mama, go back quickly, someone is waiting for you.”

“Qingshi…” That voice again, the woman seemed to be crying, so familiar, a strange aching feeling suddenly surged in her chest.

In an instant the world spun, that door gradually closed before her eyes, Lu Qingshi lunged forward, was repelled by an invisible force, and fell into a warm embrace.

She turned back hurriedly and saw her tear-streaked face.

The woman had an unforgettably beautiful face, in her eyes she saw herself, and also saw eternal love.

She cried in disarray, and she too instantly felt a tightness in her nose.

Gu Yanzhi lay on top of her, the hand lightly resting on her neck suddenly felt moisture, she raised her head in surprise, and saw two clear tears suddenly slide down from her tightly closed eyes, flowing down her cheeks, continuously wetting her fingers.

Warm and salty, proof that she was still alive.

Gu Yanzhi cried with joy, calling her name several more times: “Qingshi, Qingshi, I miss you so much, please wake up, Qingshi…”

This time the response was slightly moving eyelids and fingers gently gripping her hand.

Gu Yanzhi suddenly covered her mouth and burst into loud sobs, firmly holding her hand in response, while Yu Gui rushed into the hospital room and seeing this scene, her eyes also reddened.

“Quick, call the doctor!”

A crowd of people rushed in, someone lifted Lu Qingshi’s eyelids to look: “Light reflex has returned, spontaneous breathing present, let’s remove the ventilator.”

The long tube was finally removed from her body, the pain making her fully awake, the world went from darkness to gradually whitening, then to faintly visible, outside the curtain was an orange light, it was… the sun, perhaps.

In the haziness, she searched for someone’s face, and Gu Yanzhi gripped her hand tightly: “Qingshi, I’m here.”

She was still very weak, unable to speak, her gaze went from empty to gradually focusing on her face, only managing to look at her once before falling back into slumber.

“Qingshi, Qingshi…” Gu Yanzhi anxiously shook her hand, but was stopped by the doctor.

“Consciousness has returned, but bodily functions still haven’t caught up, it’s good to let her sleep at this time.”

Gu Yanzhi, as if having taken a reassuring pill, nodded, watched as the doctor adjusted her medication plan, gave some precautionary instructions, tucked in her blanket, kissed her cheek, and only then reluctantly left the room.

“Sister Lu is awake, why do you still look like this?” Hao Renjie walked into the office, Yu Gui sat in the corner, facing the computer, her shoulders shaking.

He thought she was crying, but walking closer, Yu Gui lifted her head from the keyboard, her lips wearing a smile, though tears were falling.

“I… I’m happy.”

March 28th, night.

Yu Gui wrote in her diary:

Teacher Lu woke up at the end of spring, everyone was very happy, especially Captain Gu, crying and laughing like a child, but then again, who wasn’t?

Seeing them embrace each other again, it was truly wonderful.

At times like these, I can’t help but think of you, Zhiyou.

How are you doing in Korea?

I’m doing well.

Two water drops fell where the pen touched, blurring the ink.

After three months of closed training, today was her debut, Fang Zhiyou took the highest score in one go, becoming a rising star of L Team.

After the event, fans came backstage with flowers, a shy girl handed over a love letter and chocolate, calling her club role name in Korean: “Caihong-xi [Rainbow Xi] (xi Korean honorific), do you have a partner?”

Fang Zhiyou only took the flowers from her hands, smiling and answering in Korean: “Yes, thank you.”

Qin Xuan and Xiang Nanke never met again, like parallel lines that after intersecting only grow further apart.

Shanghai is a busy international metropolis, Qin Xuan took root here, squeezing into subway cars like packed cans with ordinary office workers every day, then taking the empty last train at midnight back home.

Nanjing Road was still crowded with tourists, the Bund clock chiming every fifteen minutes had become an inseparable part of her work life.

Xiang Nanke had picked up cigarette butts here, caught thieves, helped elderly grandmothers cross the street, sent lost children home, but never met her again.

“Director Qin, we’re leaving first.”

“Okay, goodbye.”

Leaving work on time had become a distant memory for Qin Xuan, countless nights after surgery she still had to do rounds, attend academic conferences, and review medical records, she saw her former self – that arrogant young attending physician who left right on time – seemingly sitting across from her.

“Never thought you’d become what you hated most”

Her past self quietly watched her, at times like these she always felt an inexplicable tightness in her nose.

Qin Xuan hadn’t gone to bars to drink her sorrows away for a long time, exhausting work had drained all her energy, replaced by Xiang Nanke.

In the nights after work, a lonely soul with nowhere to belong, she wandered among the crowds with a wine glass, searching for every trace that reminded her of her.

When she collapsed drunk at the bar counter again, the bar was about to close, the bartender brought her a glass of water: “Officer, you’re not here to drink but to look for someone, right?”

Xiang Nanke picked up her coat, stumbling to her feet: “Yes, I’m looking for my love, have you seen her? She’s very beautiful… especially beautiful…”

After Qin Xuan disappeared, she had become what others used to be.

Shanghai’s nights held many such lonely and fragile souls, the bartender smiled and didn’t respond further.

Six months later.

Medical Affairs Office.

Yu Gui returned to the starting point once again, the person who had initially brought her in now wore the hospital director’s badge, sitting across from her, with the new head of Medical Affairs beside them.

She received her new IC card, the photo unchanged, her smile still innocent and lively.

The small text below had changed.

Renji Medical University First Affiliated Hospital.

Emergency Department.

Attending Physician, Yu Gui.

The young person’s wish was fulfilled, but Liu Changsheng showed some regret: “After your residency, several departments contacted me, Thoracic Surgery, Cardiac Surgery, General Surgery…”

Yu Gui smiled and shook her head: “I just want to stay in Emergency.”

“Why?” Any surgical department would be a jack of all trades, the compensation many times higher than Emergency, with fewer medical disputes.

The youth, oh no, now a mature young doctor.

Yu Gui just smiled, her face showing a trace of nostalgia: “Dean Meng said Emergency is the first line of pre-hospital care. I want to guard this place for him, for Director Xu, for Teacher Lu.”

Today was also Lu Qingshi’s discharge day. Early in the morning, Gu Yanzhi came to the hospital, giving gifts to every medical staff who had cared for her. Being well-liked meant inevitable small talk, and by the time she pushed open the ward door, that person was already up.

The blue and white hospital gown was neatly folded on the pillow, autumn breeze blew in ginkgo leaves through the opened curtains.

The woman standing by the window was tall and slender, her figure thin, the fitted shirt hanging somewhat loose on her frame.

Her hair wasn’t long, just reaching her shoulders, the breeze lifting her strands, just standing quietly created a serene yet vivid picture with the blue sky, white clouds, and golden leaves outside.

Gu Yanzhi dared not disturb this beauty until she sensed someone approaching, turned around, her pupils black and bright, reflecting her shadow.

Lu Qingshi’s lips curved slightly, like first snow melting, pear blossoms blooming on branches.

Stern, gentle, and approachable.

She called her name: “Gu Yanzhi.”

She stepped forward, took her hand: “Hey, let’s go home.”

Six floors was still quite a challenge for someone just recovering from illness. Halfway up, Lu Qingshi was breathless, unable to lift her head anymore.

Gu Yanzhi crouched down on the step above: “Come, get on.”

The scene seemed to return to the first time she carried her upstairs. Lu Qingshi was no longer stubborn, holding tight to her neck.

Her hair strands brushed against her face, feeling slightly ticklish.

Lu Qingshi nuzzled against her neck, warm breath suddenly brushing her ear, causing the person carrying her to almost stumble forward. Gu Yanzhi looked back at her with a slightly reproachful gaze.

“Be good, you can nuzzle more when we get home.”

Before reaching the front door, those two little ones became restless, one barking wildly and one continuously meowing through the door.

Gu Yanzhi put her down, took out her keys to open the door, on the shiny keychain hung her hand-drawn keychain – an endearingly simple and naive French fry.

The first to jump into her arms was French Fries, who had grown quite a bit, face bigger, more fur, dragging a white fluffy tail, agile and clever like a small squirrel.

The wet black nose nuzzled her face, Lu Qingshi smiled, while Hamburger circled around her, rising on hind legs to jump on her, almost drooling.

Gu Yanzhi, worried Hamburger’s large size might trip her, pulled it away by the scruff of its neck, Hamburger lay on the ground clawing at the carpet while howling, refusing to leave Lu Qingshi’s side.

The doctor couldn’t help but smile: “When did you bring these two back?”

“Spiky Head helped me get them, I thought you’d miss them when you came home.”

It was still the same old apartment, cleaned thoroughly, not a speck of dust on the floor, with new white sofa covers, game controllers under the coffee table, and DVDs neatly stacked.

The dining table had a white checkered tablecloth with long tassels hanging down, a clear vase on top holding several small sunflowers and daisies.

Everything showed signs of careful decoration and care.

Lu Qingshi’s eyes grew warm: “Thank you.”

Seeing her expression as if about to cry again, Gu Yanzhi also smiled, her gaze soft and full of love.

“I wanted to go myself, but couldn’t leave while caring for you. Fortunately, Spiky Head was returning to his hometown after being discharged, forgot to tell you, he’s from Gansu, so he helped bring Hamburger and French Fries back on his way. Oh right, he’s getting married, the bride is his childhood sweetheart from elementary school, and he invited us…”

Lu Qingshi smiled too, feeling increasingly emotional: “Really? That’s wonderful.”

Gu Yanzhi sat on the sofa, opening her arms: “What’s wonderful?”

She walked over, hands resting on her shoulders, Gu Yanzhi embracing her waist.

Lu Qingshi leaned down slightly, pressing against her lips: “Having you is wonderful.”

French Fries ran away from between them, the breeze turning pages of an open book on the sofa, rustling.

The sun set, sinking into the buildings like a salted egg yolk, orange light enveloping them.

Light spots on the floor gradually shrank, the sofa sank, shoes were kicked off, pale bare ankles extended out.

Hamburger stood at the bedroom door, head tilted and tail wagging as it watched everything happening in the living room, its dog face bewildered.

French Fries jumped onto its head, using paws to cover its eyes. Hamburger turned back and barked once, lowered its head, letting it slide down, then gently grabbed its soft neck fur with its teeth and went back to their bed to roll around.

The warmest holiday in winter is probably New Year’s Eve.

On this day of family reunion, the head nurse specially brought dumplings from home, giving everyone a lunch box with about ten dumplings each. The metal lunch boxes clinked together with a “clang,” counting as a toast.

“Happy New Year!”

Beijing gets dark early, Gu Yanzhi set out bowls and chopsticks: “Eat quickly, after we eat we’ll go sweep Lele’s grave.”

Lu Xucheng came out of the bedroom with a cane, holding two red envelopes, reluctantly: “Rarely come back for New Year’s, yet still thinking about this old man’s money.”

It was the Lu family custom for elders to give red envelopes to younger family members on New Year’s Eve as a gesture.

Lu Qingshi accepted without hesitation, knowing this old man only appeared poor – how could a Chinese Academy of Sciences salary be small?

“I’m already being nice not asking you to make up for previous years.”

Lu Xucheng huffed and puffed, helpless against her.

Gu Yanzhi leaned over: “Qingshi, what about mine? Didn’t Grandpa give you two?”

Lu Qingshi turned her face expressionlessly: “Did he? Those are for Hamburger and French Fries.”

Gu Yanzhi let out a tragic cry, falling into the chair: “Grandpa, control her! Pets are treated better than people!!!”

While visiting the grave, they unexpectedly met old acquaintances. Fu Lei’s family of three bowed before Lele’s tombstone, their young child placing a bunch of daisies in front of the photo.

Gu Yanzhi paused, looking at the person beside her. Lu Qingshi’s expression remained normal, so she relaxed and followed her over.

The two families exchanged greetings, Lu Qingshi maintaining a faint smile, only showing a trace of sadness when her gaze occasionally fell on the child.

As Fu Lei’s family prepared to leave, Peipei suddenly let go of her father’s hand and ran to her side, tugging at her pants leg.

Lu Qingshi crouched down, looking at these eyes so similar to Lele’s.

Peipei hugged her head, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you, Auntie Lu, and Brother Lele too. Dad and Mom said you saved me.”

Lu Qingshi froze, a soft yet bitter feeling exploding in her heart. When she released the small hand holding hers, her eyes were slightly red: “Do you and your parents come every year?”

“Yes!” Peipei nodded vigorously.

Jiang Jing called her name: “Peipei, it’s time to go.”

The little girl kept turning back while running: “Goodbye Auntie Lu, goodbye Auntie Gu.”

“Goodbye.”

Before a child’s innocence, adults fall short.

New Year’s Eve, only critical patients remained in the hospital. Yu Gui returned to the office to write medical records after finishing rounds. Just as the clock passed twelve, her phone rang with a long string of unknown numbers.

Location unknown.

Thinking it might be a spam call, she instinctively moved to hang up, yet somehow pressed accept instead.

In that moment, a distant wind came across from foreign shores.

Only quiet breathing could be heard through the receiver.

“Hello?” she frowned.

Fang Zhiyou gripped the phone, palms sweating from nervousness.

“I…”

“Dr. Yu, the patient in bed three’s breathing is deteriorating!” The voice from outside drowned out the receiver’s sound, Yu Gui quickly hung up.

“Ah, okay, coming!”

The day after New Year’s Eve, not having to be on duty, Xiang Nanke came to the familiar bar for a drink. She finally understood why Qin Xuan liked coming to such places.

Lively, not lonely, some people quietly drinking at the bar counter, some grabbing the microphone while drunk, some weaving through crowds in crop tops and shorts, no one paying attention to you.

Your loneliness and fragility mean nothing in such a place.

When she hazily woke again it was dawn. She reached for her wallet to pay, but the bartender wiping glasses said: “Don’t bother, someone already paid for you.”

“Really…” still not fully sober, she withdrew her hand, then suddenly seeming to remember something, grabbed his arm.

“Who paid for me? Was it a beautiful woman, wearing high heels, great figure, wavy long hair, with a mole by her eyebrow…”

She rarely spoke so much at once. The bartender, sensing this must be the person she’d been looking for all along, hesitated.

“Just left, you might catch up if you go now.”

Xiang Nanke ran immediately.

On the empty streets under dim streetlights, she ran for two blocks, fine snow covering her brows, hands on knees gasping for breath, eyes slightly red, she shouted at the dark sky: “Qin Xuan!!!”

Only occasional passing car horns responded.

They stayed in Beijing until after the New Year, then returned to Jinzhou. Just as the plane landed, Gu Yanzhi went to collect the checked luggage while she waited by the large carousel.

Real-time news scrolled across the airport’s big screen, the CCTV International News female anchor speaking in perfect pronunciation. Lu Qingshi’s attention was drawn to it.

“At 4:30 AM local time on February 18th in M Country, the capital city of Myer was attacked by anti-government forces from the air. According to witnesses, thick smoke rose from the scene, with deafening explosions. Indiscriminate attacks destroyed large areas of civilian housing, causing numerous civilian casualties. Extremist groups also took advantage of the chaos to occupy the airport in Myer’s suburbs. The three-way conflict continues to escalate. CCTV International News reporter brings you this on-scene report.”

The scene flashed by, artillery fire rising to the sky, even the ground seemed to shake.

Homes beyond recognition, thick black smoke, crying children sitting in ruins, elderly people with missing limbs and blank expressions were pixelated.

Overcrowded hospitals, men and women covered in bandages, their faces unrecognizable, moaning in pain.

A corner of green military uniform buried under rubble, and terrorists cheering excitedly atop vehicles with machine guns.

Hell on earth.

Lu Qingshi felt as if someone was gripping her throat, unable to move.

Gu Yanzhi returned with the luggage: “Qingshi, let’s go.”

She came back to her senses, seeming distracted, face pale: “Okay, let’s go.”

Back home, Gu Yanzhi went to cook, while she went into the study, opened the computer, and typed “M Country.” Numerous news pages popped up.

The mouse slowly scrolled, each page more shocking than the last. The final item was a recruitment notice from MSF (Médecins Sans Frontières) [無國界醫生組織 – Doctors Without Borders].

At the bottom, an email icon kept flashing. Lu Qingshi clicked to open it – as expected, it was an email from Geneva, Switzerland, written in both English and French.

She closed her eyes slightly, fingers pressing against her brow.

“Here’s some milk for you,” Gu Yanzhi gently placed the glass in front of her. Lu Qingshi turned, subtly using her back to block the screen from view.

“Thanks, is dinner ready? I’m starving.”

Gu Yanzhi’s gaze swept across the computer screen, her lips moved but she said nothing.

“Almost done, just a moment.”

Lu Qingshi stood up, holding her hand: “Then let me help too.”

Gu Yanzhi finally smiled: “Alright, come along then.”

In early spring, Lu Qingshi went to the hospital to resume work. Liu Changsheng took out her resignation letter from the drawer to return it.

Lu Qingshi kept her hands in her pockets without accepting it, smiling: “I’m afraid you’ll need to keep that.”

Yu Gui had been hoping all morning to see her return to work. As soon as that door closed, she immediately ran after her.

Wind blew through the corridor, lifting the doctor’s white coat. Yu Gui followed closely: “Dr. Lu, what do you mean you’re not coming back? Why aren’t you staying in Emergency? Everyone’s been waiting for your return. Dr. Lu, say something!”

Her sleeve was grabbed, stopping Lu Qingshi. She paused, gently brushed off the hand, and continued walking.

Being ignored, Yu Gui froze for two seconds, eyes turning slightly red, then chased after her again, blocking her path, just like that night.

“Dr. Lu, why are you leaving when I stayed?” The young person lowered her head, always returning to that sensitive, fragile young doctor in front of her.

“Dr. Lu, I’ve passed my medical license exam now, I’m not clumsy anymore, I can do everything, I can do anything, I won’t hold you back anymore, I can assist in your surgeries. I know I’m still not good enough, you can scold me all you want, just don’t leave… please don’t leave…”

As the young person spoke, tears rolled down her cheeks: “Zhiyou left… now you’re leaving too… I don’t know… don’t know why I’m staying here…”

The spring afternoon light was soft and bright, painting her hair with a golden hue.

She watched her bowing her head, shoulders trembling, wearing a well-fitted white coat, just a head shorter than herself. The badge on her chest no longer read “Resident” but “Attending Physician.”

Lu Qingshi’s lips curved into a gratified smile. Standing in the sunlight, she slowly opened her arms.

“Yu Gui.”

The young person rushed into her embrace, instinctively seeking comfort like a baby bird returning to its nest.

“You are the student I’ve taught…”

Yu Gui choked up: “I know, you always say I’m the stupidest student you’ve ever taught.”

It was just a simple hug, Lu Qingshi let go quickly, more like a farewell ritual.

“No, you’re the most excellent student I’ve ever taught.”

She stared blankly at her smiling face, gentle eyes full of gratification.

The young person burst into tears, unable to speak anymore.

“Remember what I said that day at the operating table, what was the last lesson I taught you?”

She nodded: “Yes, the determination to never abandon any patient.”

Lu Qingshi shook her head gently: “That wasn’t the final lesson.”

She reached out, like a sister to a younger sibling, lightly flicking her forehead: “The real final lesson I wanted to teach you is—”

She paused: “Farewell.”

Farewell—just tasting these words, Yu Gui felt their bitterness.

In these two years, she had witnessed many partings of life and death, yet never truly understood the meaning of these words.

Fang Zhiyou’s departure taught her a profound lesson about life, teaching her to respect others’ feelings at all times, especially those close to her, understanding being as important as love.

Lu Qingshi’s departure taught her another vivid lesson, helping her understand that meetings end in partings [meaning: all meetings must end], the essence of Ichigo Ichie.

Before leaving the hospital, Lu Qingshi looked back one last time. Not only Yu Gui had come out, but also Hao Renjie, Liu Qingyun, Chen Yi, the head nurse, and many other colleagues, even patients she had saved.

Everyone tacitly stood on the steps without taking another step forward.

Hao Renjie smiled, the big boy’s eyes turning red: “Sister Lu, have a safe journey, come back to visit when you can!”

Liu Qingyun gripped Chen Yi’s hand: “Sister Lu, Chen Yi and I are engaged, you must come to our wedding in a couple of years!”

Lu Qingshi just smiled, everyone just smiled, under the azure sky where Renji Medical University’s logo hung alongside the Red Cross.

She waved, turning away gracefully: “Goodbye.”

The hospital witnessed too many prayers, while airports always witnessed too many farewells.

Before international departure, Gu Yanzhi made one last plea: “I’ve never begged you for anything, this is the first and last time. I’m begging you, please don’t go to such a dangerous place, okay? I can’t lose you again…”

Lu Qingshi quietly watched her tear-streaked face, pulling her into an embrace: “Remember when Zhou Yuetong’s parents changed their minds? I was truly heartbroken then… I applied to Doctors Without Borders before meeting you. If I had known I would fall in love with you, I definitely wouldn’t have written that application, but since what’s done is done, backing out now would be like murder…”

Her voice was heavy with pain, tears sliding into the hollow of her neck as she held her. Gu Yanzhi, as if burned, suddenly pushed her away.

“Then can’t you… can’t you consider my feelings?!!! Do you know how it felt watching you lie in that hospital bed between life and death?! Huh! Do you know how I got through those days?! I almost wanted to die, Lu Qingshi, do you know that!!!”

She rarely had such hysterical outbursts. They faced each other, both with tears streaming down their faces.

Lu Qingshi bit her lower lip, tilted her head back, yet still couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Gu Yanzhi stepped forward: “Qingshi, come home with me, let’s go home, okay? Hamburger and French Fries are waiting for us, didn’t you say a few days ago we should get a bigger house? Get a taller climbing frame for French Fries, Hamburger’s bed is getting a bit small too. Qingshi, let’s go home, let’s go home.”

The boarding announcement rang out.

Lu Qingshi bit her lip and stepped back: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Gu Yanzhi’s heart plunged into a bottomless abyss, tenderness fading, her expression turning cold and sharp.

“If you really must go, then we…” she paused, grinding out those three words through clenched teeth.

“Let’s break up.”

In that instant, Lu Qingshi’s heart felt like it was being carved by knives. She almost doubled over in pain, sobbing loudly, unable to speak.

Gu Yanzhi had forced her into a corner.

Among the bustling crowd, she couldn’t hear anything else, only those words “let’s break up” replaying in her mind.

Like an executioner torturing her wounded heart, each cut drawing blood, each word piercing her heart.

Boarding began, she moved forward mindlessly with the crowd, constantly looking back through blurred vision. She saw her running, calling out, crying, finally stopped by staff at the security checkpoint.

She was getting further and further away from her.

Lu Qingshi closed her eyes, tears streaming down, desperately clutching the ring on her right pinky finger, pressing it deep into her flesh, as if only this could ward off the pain and make her feel her presence.

March 28, 2014, Gu Yanzhi’s diary had only one line: Spring has left me.

That night, she had a dream about the sunset after snow stopped falling that winter a year ago.

They had decided to travel the world together.

She sat on the swing, their foreheads touching.

Breathing mingling, intertwined.

In her eyes, she saw a spring full of blooming flowers, the gentlest, most romantic spring.

Who needed to travel the world when the most beautiful scenery was in her eyes.

All the world’s famous landscapes couldn’t compare to her rare beauty [鳳毛麟角 – idiom meaning rare and precious as phoenix feathers and unicorn horns].

She said: “I love you.”

I love you.

She answered the same.

LP: My expectations were murdered in cold blood