Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 64.2

by Little Panda

Don’t Want a Divorce (31)

“If she were alive, she would definitely come back to find me.” (Tragic)

Liu Ruyi had not yet recovered her senses when the sound of a chair toppling over suddenly came from the hall. Instinctively, she turned to look and saw Rong Qing, her face pale with shock, murmuring:

“How could this happen?”

The two of them exchanged a glance.

Rong Qing quickly composed her trembling mind and looked deeply at her, saying: “If I find out this is a trap—”

She said: “I will drag you down with me, even in death.”

……

A great fire started from the forest and spread into the Imperial Garden.

The overwhelming flames burned for three days and nights.

Some said that the Crown Prince was still inside, but the Imperial Forest Guards went in and were scared back by the flames. Only a eunuch escaped from inside, his voice lost due to the smoke. Fortunately, he was rescued and wrote down the events of that day on paper in prison, presenting it to Liu Ruyi and Rong Qing’s case files.

In black and white on white paper, with bloodstains of unknown origin.

Rong Qing silently stared at the piece of paper, the scene shifting to that Xuan paper, for a long time…

Moist water marks dripped drop by drop onto it.

The writing smudged.

There were exclamations of surprise from the palace servants in the background, “Your Majesty!”

The light in the scene gradually dimmed until it turned completely black—

A few words appeared on the screen.

Three years later.

When the light reappeared, it was at a market outside the palace, with someone shouting, “Buns, selling buns, three coins each,” and vendors making handmade items arranging their goods, colorful pinwheels spinning wildly on the stalls.

A little girl was carrying a flower basket, calling out, “Fresh flowers, take a look?”

As she took a few steps, suddenly a hand reached out from the side and took a purple balsam flower from her basket. The girl looked up curiously—

Around her, gasps of surprise arose one after another.

It turned out that it was…

A young woman with a head full of white hair.

Someone stared at her for a moment and shouted, “Monster!” hastily fleeing. However, before they could get far, the attendants behind the woman chased after them with sticks, shouting, “What are you shouting about! How dare you disrespect our lady!”

Hearing the attendants, the remaining people behaved more normally, gathering together to discuss and point, saying, “How can someone have white hair at such a young age?”

“Ah! She must be a person of misfortune!”

Against this background noise, the woman took a step to leave. The little girl whose flower was taken moved her lips, wanting to reach out to ask for money. She was gently pushed aside by the people behind the woman, who took out a few coins from their pocket and placed them into the girl’s flower basket. The attendant could not help but speak in a rough tone, “Get out of the way, don’t block the lady’s path.”

At this moment—

A voice came from the front, saying, “There’s one here.”

The white-haired woman quickly walked over and saw a few attendants pulling and tugging at a weak woman wearing a mask, with some burn scars visible on her neck, trying to make her take off the mask.

The woman was silently resisting them, seeming to want to say something, but no sound came out, indicating she was mute.

The white-haired woman approached, and everyone stopped their actions to look at this extraordinarily enchanting, yet white-haired person, until she lightly waved her hand and said:

“Everyone, step back.”

The rough-handed attendants all released their hold and stepped aside. She then walked to the mute woman’s side and said in a gentle voice, “Sorry, I am looking for someone. Their actions were too rough and must have frightened you.”

After speaking, she turned to the people behind her and said, “If you encounter this kind of situation again, do not use force. There’s no need to rub salt into someone’s wound.”

The masked mute woman lowered her head, as if to thank her, while fresh, glistening vegetables were scattered on the stall.

The white-haired woman bent down and carefully placed a few radishes back on the stall, with meticulous and serious movements. The purple balsam flower was temporarily placed on the ground beside her, with dewy, moist marks on its petals.

After arranging the radishes, she apologized to the mute woman again, saying, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

After speaking, she intended to leave. The eldest daughter of the Rong family, dressed as an attendant, looked at her and said with some helplessness, “Xiaoqing, it has already been three years. We’re making such a big fuss searching, and you don’t let people remove their masks. When will this end?”

Rong Qing lowered her eyes and did not speak.

After a while, she said, “If she is still alive, she will definitely come to see me.”

After saying this, she insisted on heading to the next place.

The Rong family’s bodyguards followed her in a grand manner. On the spot, the masked mute woman made a sound of “ah” and pointed at the balsam flower on the stall. The person who heard her voice impatiently said to her:

“That flower is no longer needed by our lady, you can have it.”

When those noises had already gone far away—

The woman in the mask sat there, and after a long time, she trembled as she reached for the balsam flower. Clear tears flowed from under her mask, dripping onto the tiles in front of her.

A child tugged at the skirt of an adult beside them, saying, “Mother, that mute person seems to be crying…”

The adult responded, “Why are you worried about such things? If you don’t study hard, you’ll also be bullied by others in the future, just like that mute person!”

The scene shifts again.

Inside the palace.

The officials, in great numbers, knelt all over the altar for the heaven worship ceremony. A figure wearing a dragon robe and a beaded crown threw the sacrificial documents into the fire. The flames shot up to the sky, and the next moment, someone sang loudly:

“Congratulations on the new Emperor’s ascension—”

“Long live the Emperor, long live, long long live!”

The guards also knelt all over the ground and, with the officials, sang loudly: “Long live the Emperor, long live, long long live!”

Birds flew up from within the palace walls, heading towards the vast sky. The sky was filled with rolling red clouds, as if even the heavens were celebrating the new Emperor’s ascension, heralding the arrival of a brand-new era of prosperity.

The scene abruptly cut back to the side of the altar—

In the center, beneath the beaded robe, was Liu Ruyi.

She slowly curled her lips into a smile.

The screen froze at this moment, and the words “The End” slowly appeared in the lower right corner.

……

“Ah ah ah ah ah my god! Our Li Zi has become the Emperor! Is this another version of Wu Zetian’s story? I’m dying! My goosebumps were all up during the final scene!”

“I feel this is the best drama Li Zi has ever acted in! It’s real! But could you not stab me like this! Clearly, in the end, she became the Emperor, but I felt her loneliness. I vaguely remember the late Emperor’s unintentional praise: ‘You and I are fellow travelers.’”

“Wuwuwuwu the Noble Consort and Empress had a good time, but when she had white hair and walked step by step towards the mute person holding that balsam flower, my tears were worthless…”

“Why did the Empress wait for ten years and still refuse to appear? Even if they had secretly met once, I wouldn’t feel this regret. They made me experience a deathly separation and then a living parting ah ah ah, screenwriter kill me! I’m going to cut some leg meat to make a living!”

“Returning upstairs, because the Empress is considered dead in everyone’s eyes, she can no longer appear, otherwise it would bring disaster to Rong Qing. Moreover, the dog Emperor is still outside the Cold Palace, monitoring Rong Qing, so she has no chance to expose herself. This really is… fate and drama. After all the difficulty of meeting, it turned out to be caused by her son. Why? He clearly has her blood in him!”

“I feel the little Emperor there is really a great foreshadowing! The little Emperor is a distorted amalgamation within the entire palace wall. He is Qi Yunshang’s son, but he grew up in Liu Ruyi’s hands. The whole palace knows he is not Liu Ruyi’s biological child, and his mother is a criminal. Yet he has to rack his brains to win Liu Ruyi’s favor. In the end, he finds himself finally having outlasted the Emperor and achieved a position, but the real power is in his mother’s hands, and he is also being manipulated by Rong Qing, who came out of the Cold Palace. His becoming so twisted was really within my expectations.”

“Agree, this little Emperor seems to be saying that as long as you are the one who later sits on the dragon throne, no matter who you were originally, you will eventually be blinded by the ultimate power. He truly is a living example of ‘having the fate of an Emperor but suffering from the Emperor’s illness’…”

“I didn’t shed tears at the earlier death separation, but today’s ending really made me cry in agony. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but standing right in front of you, and yet we still cannot recognize each other.”

“Isn’t the ending a foreshadowing? I think Rong Qing must have recognized the Empress. She left that balsam flower on the stall and said that sentence. Was she waiting for the Empress to catch up? I don’t care; in my heart, they are HE!”

“I can understand the Empress’s final painful choice. Even though her loved one is safe and sound now, she doesn’t dare to reveal her true self because… she is no longer as beautiful as she once was. She has truly become mute and ugly. Even the most confident person would feel full of self-doubt when becoming like this QAQ.”

“I cried. How about you?”

……

Xu Jiao put down the IPA in her hand and stopped reading those comments.

The internet was filled with cries and lamentations, but in the 《The Palace Wall Willows》 production team’s group chat, it was all celebration because the last two episodes had broken the television drama data and online click records for these past years.

It can be said that 《The Palace Wall Willows》 has been a complete success.

Director Zhen had already submitted the materials for this year’s White Peony Award, and now they were just waiting for the subsequent review. If approved, this year, the 《The Palace Wall Willows》 production team could completely become a strong contender for the White Peony Award!

The White Peony Award is a very authoritative award in television dramas within this story setting. The person who wins the Best Actress award here is basically a ratings booster for television dramas; as long as they appear in a drama, the viewership rate is very high.

Someone in the group said, “At that time, our Li Zi can compete for Best Actress, and Teacher Xu and Sister Yu can compete for Best Supporting Actress. Wow! I can already imagine that exciting scene! Having two nominations from one family is so outstanding!”

Xu Jiao glanced at her phone, then threw it aside, closed her eyes, and leaned back on the sofa to rest.

……

For some reason, hearing someone speak about her and Feng Qingyu in such a mocking, joking tone always made her recall that scene in the hotel.

She was drenched in cold water, incredulously looking at the person standing outside the bathtub.

Feng Qingyu stood there, neat and clean, and apart from the showerhead she was holding outwards, no one could tell from her calm expression that she had just done something extremely excessive.

The water from the showerhead sprayed onto the bathroom tiles, with the background sound of splashing—

Feng Qingyu asked her, “Are you awake now?”

Xu Jiao was torn between the heat inside her and the coldness on her face. She exhaled twice, and the water droplets on the tip of her nose fell onto her lips. She casually licked them, smiled, and looked at Feng Qingyu:

“I’m awake, but since the method you used was not to my liking, I won’t be thanking you.”

Feng Qingyu heard the “not to my liking,” and her gaze fell on Xu Jiao’s slightly reddened lips. After a while, she answered in a somewhat hoarse voice, “Who would make you like it? Is it the person you mentioned before, Shen Yelan?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t be as gentle as you imagined. Did it disappoint you?”

Xu Jiao chuckled, grabbed the handle of the nearby bathroom door, and, being all wet, when she walked out of the bathtub, her clothes clung tightly to her skin. The elegant curves and the pretty sights, both seen and unseen, were veiled as if by a thin gauze, falling into Feng Qingyu’s eyes.

Subsequently, Xu Jiao, using the door handle for support, stood firm and then tilted her head to say, “It’s not very disappointing.”

Since she had never held any hope for you, how could she say it was disappointing?

Feng Qingyu inexplicably perceived the correct meaning from her words. She turned off the handheld showerhead, tossed it into the bathtub, and it made a loud “clang” sound.

She said, “It seems I guessed wrong. The person you love is not the one whose name you called out on my bed—”

“Not Shen Yelan, and not me, Feng Qingyu. Then who is it?”

Xu Jiao, with her back to her, said softly, “You don’t need to know.”

Feng Qingyu, upon hearing this, felt a tinge of bitterness rise in her heart. She had clearly resolved not to cry in front of this person again, but now, looking at Xu Jiao’s back, she still couldn’t hold back the moisture in her eyes.

She thought that she still really liked this person.

Yet, what came out of her mouth were words as sharp as a blade, as if only by tormenting and hurting each other could she feel a bit less pain:

“I don’t want to know either.”

Feng Qingyu stared at the extended line of Xu Jiao’s spine, seeing the beautifully slightly protruding butterfly bones. After a second’s pause, she continued, “I just want to ask you, does the person named Shen Yelan know that she is just a stand-in like me?”

Xu Jiao did not speak.

Feng Qingyu smiled coldly, lowering her gaze to the bathroom tiles in front of her, where the clear water had not yet flowed into the drain. It pooled shallowly at her feet, reflecting the slightly reddened corners of her eyes and the unspoken sadness and melancholy in her eyes.

Her tears silently mingled with the water.

Until Xu Jiao was about to leave, she heard from behind, “I am Feng Qingyu, not anyone’s stand-in.”

“Feng is the wind of the gentle breeze, the oldest surname, and Qingyu is the green jade in Shi Wenxiang’s 《Bamboo Between Chant》 where ‘I earnestly think of this gentleman, hoeing clouds to plant green jade.’ My parents hope I am like the bamboo in the mountains, with noble character and tenacious personality.”

“Xu Jiao, I like you very much, but you can choose not to like me.”

“However, please do not mistake me for someone else again.”

“If you have… other beloved ones in the future, please do not mistake them for someone else again, okay?”

Because being taken as a substitute feels really uncomfortable and unpleasant.

Feng Qingyu thinks having just herself is enough.