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    Love Is Inherently Selfish.

    After receiving Zuo Jingyouโ€™s call, He Zhiwen immediately packed his bags and flew back to Haicheng from the capital. Before leaving, He Zhiwen also called Lin Xiao, telling him that he was only going to see Zuo Jingyou because of Tongtong and matters related to her.

    Lin Xiao, deeply embroiled in the scandal of interfering in their marriage, was currently filming on a closed set with his production team. When he received He Zhiwenโ€™s call, he had just finished a scene and was sitting on a chair in a corner of the film set, wrapped in a shawl, drinking water.

    The late April sunlight was bright, but it felt somewhat cool shining on this northern desert land. Lin Xiao hid in a spot sheltered from the cold wind, holding a thermos cup and drinking water. Listening to He Zhiwenโ€™s voice coming through the phone, his heart felt warm and fuzzy.

    However, before he could act cuteโ€‹1 with the other man for a few more sentences, he heard that He Zhiwen was going to see Zuo Jingyou. His hand holding the water cup couldnโ€™t help but tighten uncontrollably.

    But Lin Xiao ultimately suppressed the jealousy in his heart, asking He Zhiwen in a worried tone, โ€œThen how badly is Tongtong hurt? Is she okay?โ€

    He Zhiwen sounded urgent, clearly very worried: โ€œShe probably took a bad fall, otherwise Jingyou wouldnโ€™t have contacted me. Tongtong has been afraid of pain since she was little, I donโ€™t know how much she must be crying right now.โ€

    Lin Xiao swallowed the lump in his throat, saying somewhat unnaturally, โ€œMmโ€ฆ kids do tend to cry easily. Remember to buy her some things she likes to eat, some gifts, comfort her properly.โ€

    โ€œAlso, donโ€™t rush too much. Contact your assistant in Haicheng to pick you up from the airport and take you to the hospital. Donโ€™t drive yourself, donโ€™t get too tired. Havenโ€™t you been very busy filming recently? Spend these few days properly with Tongtong, and take the chance to rest a bit too.โ€

    Lin Xiao was a man; of course, he understood a manโ€™s mentality. He couldnโ€™t appear too jealous, but he also couldnโ€™t appear too magnanimous. In this precarious relationship, even though He Zhiwen currently loved him intenselyโ€‹2, he still wasnโ€™t confident he could compare to Zuo Jingyou.

    Moreover, Zuo Jingyou and He Zhiwen shared a child. This connection was something he naturally couldnโ€™t overcome.

    But at the same time, he knew the fickleness of men. In the face of true love and desire, even the bond of a child didnโ€™t amount to much.

    So he could only strive to make He Zhiwen love him a little bit more, and then gradually, become unable to leave him.

    Sure enough, hearing Lin Xiaoโ€™s gentle and considerate words, He Zhiwen unconsciously felt guilty. He Zhiwen paused, then softly said to Lin Xiao, โ€œSorry, Xiao Yeโ€‹3, donโ€™t overthink it. Jingyou and I divorced at the beginning of the year, so this time Iโ€™m really just going to see the child, thereโ€™s no other meaning. You mustnโ€™t be jealous, okay?โ€

    On the other end of the line, Lin Xiao let out a soft laugh. He lowered his gaze, holding the water cup, his fingers unconsciously fiddling with the thermos lid. He said softly, โ€œOf course Iโ€™ll be jealous. Youโ€™re going to see your ex-wife, how could I possibly not care?โ€

    โ€œBut I know youโ€™re actually doing it for Tongtong. Thatโ€™s your daughter, you canโ€™t possibly not go see her. A lifetime is so long, Iโ€™ll have to get used to it eventually.โ€

    Lin Xiao paused, then said pointedly, โ€œBesides, Jingyou-jie isnโ€™t the kind of vulgar woman who would use her child to try and win back her husband. So, Iโ€™m very reassured about you two.โ€

    โ€œRemember to take care of yourself, understand?โ€

    He Zhiwen immediately relaxed, muttering softly, โ€œYouโ€™ve been wronged during this time. Donโ€™t worry, the clarification post will be released soon. Just give me a bit more time, and I will make you my lover, openly and honorably.โ€

    Lin Xiao smiled and told him, โ€œDonโ€™t say such cheesyโ€‹4 things. I love you, knowing that is enough for me.โ€

    The two exchanged some more cheesy, flirtatious words until it was time for Lin Xiaoโ€™s scene, and they finally hung up.

    Lin Xiao put down his phone and looked up at an empty space not far away. Where wind and sand swept through, everything was hazy gray, as if nothing could be seen clearly. Only a ray of sunlight filtering down from the sky brought a faint brightness.

    In that spot, the assistant director was filming a scene with a group of extrasโ€‹5. Lin Xiao couldnโ€™t help but think that many years ago, he too was one of these extras. It was He Zhiwen who had discovered him among the crowd, giving him a chance to make his markโ€‹6.

    During that cold winter, in those days when he was drifting alone with no support, it was He Zhiwen who had extended a helping hand, allowing him to sustain his life.

    He Zhiwen was like the sunlight shining into this hazy gray film set, warming the few remaining things in his life.

    Even though He Zhiwen was already married back then, he still strove, step by step, to climb higher, until he stood before He Zhiwen, becoming his male lead.

    Lin Xiao pondered for a moment, then picked up his phone again, opened Weiboโ€‹7, and saw the homepage filled with damaging rumorsโ€‹8 about him and He Zhiwen.

    Lin Xiao scrolled deeply through the screen, watching Zuo Jingyouโ€™s fans and his fans arguing, their words extremely fierce, and smiled, hooking his lip.

    Homewrecker?โ€‹9 He didnโ€™t care about this label at all.

    Love, ah, is inherently selfish. Isnโ€™t it right for everyone to rely on their own abilities to fight for the person they love? Life is so short, yet so cold and lonely. Only when two souls intersect can they obtain a fleeting, brilliant spark and light. Why not indulge in this moment?

    Lin Xiao switched to his messages and sent a text to an anonymous number: Release the news about He Zhiwen and Zuo Jingyouโ€™s divorce tonight.

    Anyway, they really were already divorced, werenโ€™t they? He Zhiwen and Zuo Jingyou actually had no ties anymore; from now on, he belonged to him.

    After receiving a definite reply, Lin Xiao added the number to his blacklist, stood up, walked towards the director, and continued filming his scenes.

    When He Zhiwen flew back to Haicheng and arrived at the hospital, it was already the morning of the next day.

    Ever since half a year ago, when He Zhiwen confessed to Zuo Jingyou that he had fallen in love with someone else, the two had begun handling their divorce matters. Besides the complicated division of assets, the matter of Tongtongโ€™s custody was also a major issue.

    He Zhiwen had cheatedโ€‹10 first and knew he was in the wrong, so he didnโ€™t dare fight Zuo Jingyou for custody of Tongtong. Thus, Tongtong was naturally placed under Zuo Jingyouโ€™s care.

    From that time on, Zuo Jingyou had intentionally or unintentionally reduced the time the father and daughter spent together. Until half a month ago, when Zuo Jingyou and He Zhiwen officially completed the divorce procedures, she took Tongtong and left the home they had always lived in, temporarily placing Tongtong in her maternal grandmotherโ€™s care.

    The child was still young and probably didnโ€™t quite understand the meaning of divorce. Neither Zuo Jingyou nor He Zhiwen planned to tell her right now. Instead, they would wait a while, until Tongtong got used to He Zhiwen not coming home, before explaining the situation clearly to her.

    Therefore, during this period, Tongtong always thought He Zhiwen had gone far away to film and couldnโ€™t come back to see her often.

    So, being able to see her dad today made Tongtong very happy.

    Even though the anesthesia had worn off and her wound was starting to hurt, seeing her dad first thing in the morning, Tongtong still clung to him, wanting to play Ludoโ€‹11 together.

    Ludo

    Having this rare chance to meet, He Zhiwen played with Tongtong all morning. After finally coaxing the child into a happy mood, He Zhiwen glanced at Zuo Jingyou, who was sitting opposite them watching the father and daughter. He cleared his throat and said to Tongtong, โ€œTongtong ah, Daddy still has things to attend to, so I canโ€™t stay with you much longer, okay?โ€

    He Zhiwen raised his hand, ruffled Tongtongโ€™s hair, and coaxed her with a smile, โ€œTongtong needs to be strong. Next time Daddy comes to see you, Iโ€™ll take you out to play, how about that?โ€

    Tongtongโ€™s little face immediately fell, her eyes filled with disappointment: โ€œDaddy is so busy, are you leaving already? Canโ€™t you stay with Tongtong a little longer? Tongtong misses you a lot too!โ€

    He Zhiwen nodded, lying calmly without batting an eyeโ€‹12: โ€œYes, lots of uncles and aunties are waiting for Daddy to go back to work. Even though Daddy misses Tongtong very much too, Iโ€™m really too busy.โ€

    Tongtong was an understanding child. Hearing this, no matter how reluctant she was, she just looked at He Zhiwen with teary eyes and said, โ€œThen next time Daddy comes back, you have to stay with Tongtong longer, okay?โ€

    He Zhiwen nodded, gently ruffled Tongtongโ€™s messy hair again, and comforted her, โ€œI will. Next time I come back, how about Daddy takes you to the amusement park?โ€

    โ€œOkay!โ€ Tongtong nodded, extending her pinky finger towards He Zhiwen, smiling sweetly, โ€œThen Daddy, itโ€™s a promise. Pinky swear.โ€

    He Zhiwen smiled slightly, reaching out to hook his daughterโ€™s pinky finger: โ€œOkay.โ€

    โ€œItโ€™s settled then. Pinky swear, hang if you lie, canโ€™t change for a hundred years.โ€โ€‹13

    Tongtong swung their fingers, sealing the contract with her dad, and said with a giggle, โ€œDaddy promised Tongtong, you definitely canโ€™t break your promiseโ€‹14!โ€

    He Zhiwen laughed heartily, reassuring his daughter, โ€œOf course not. Daddy would never lie to Tongtong. Iโ€™ll definitely do what I say.โ€

    After finally comforting his daughter, He Zhiwen looked up at Zuo Jingyou, who had been sitting opposite the hospital bed, watching them with a constant smile. He awkwardly licked his lips and said somewhat sheepishly, โ€œJingyou, I have to go back. Could youโ€ฆ could you walk me out?โ€

    All morning he had been wanting to speak but stopping short, seemingly having something to say to Zuo Jingyou. Zuo Jingyou knew what he was thinking, sighed, and nodded. She stood up, patted her daughter on the bed, and soothed her softly, โ€œMommy will walk Daddy downstairs, Iโ€™ll be back soon to have lunch with Tongtong. Tongtong be good here and wait for the nurse.โ€

    Tongtong nodded and obediently answered okay.

    Zuo Jingyou sighed again, stroked her daughterโ€™s head once more, then turned to He Zhiwen and said, โ€œLetโ€™s go, Iโ€™ll walk you downstairs.โ€

    He Zhiwenโ€™s eyes curved into a smile: โ€œOkay.โ€

    The two walked out of the hospital room one after the other. Just as they stepped out, He Zhiwen eagerly called out to Zuo Jingyou, โ€œJingyouโ€ฆ Jingyouโ€ฆ How about we find a quiet place to eat lunch, and then have a proper talk?โ€

    He Zhiwenโ€™s voice exploded beside Zuo Jingyouโ€™s ear. Zuo Jingyou stopped, thinking, Here it comes. She sighed, turned to face He Zhiwen, her tone calm: โ€œNo need to go elsewhere. Asking you to come back this time was mainly to visit Tongtong.โ€

    โ€œAs for other matters, havenโ€™t we already discussed them clearly? What else needs to be discussed?โ€

    All the conversations between them had been exhausted when he confessed to his affair and wanted a divorce. Zuo Jingyou didnโ€™t feel there was anything left for them to talk about.

    This hospital room, located on the second-highest floor, mostly housed patients of high status, so the environment was very quiet. It was noon, and the medical staff were taking breaks for lunch. The corridor was empty, without a single person.

    Zuo Jingyou stood in the deep, quiet corridor, arms crossed, silently looking at the man before her, her eyes like deep pools.

    Seeing her expression, He Zhiwen felt somewhat flustered, scratching his head and licking his lips as he said to her, โ€œItโ€™s justโ€ฆ after the news about Lin Xiao and me broke out two days ago, it implicated youโ€ฆ so I was thinkingโ€ฆ shouldnโ€™t your side also issue an appropriate public statement?โ€

    โ€œAnd last night, the news of our divorce also spread everywhere. At a time like this, your studioโ€‹15 needs to give a response, right?โ€

    Zuo Jingyou didnโ€™t speak, just watched him quietly.

    Under her calm gaze, He Zhiwen felt immense pressure. He thought for a moment, then decided to just throw caution to the windโ€‹16, saying, โ€œI know itโ€™s wrong for me to come to you about this now, but Jingyou, for the sake of our many years of marriage, can you help me out?โ€

    โ€œAnyway, weโ€™re already divorced. Just do me one more favor. Explain that we had emotional disagreements last year and were already divorced, how about that?โ€

    In short, donโ€™t let others think Lin Xiao was a third party who interfered in someone elseโ€™s marriage.

    Zuo Jingyou understood his implied meaning. She crossed her arms, let out a light laugh, and said, her heart chilling, โ€œWhat do you want me to say? That we were already divorced last year? That Lin Xiao wasnโ€™t the third party who interfered in our marriage? You want me, after the divorce, to still protect the reputation of the man who destroyed my marriage?โ€

    โ€œHe Zhiwen, you really are quite the devoted loverโ€‹17.โ€

    โ€œBut why should I? Why should I help him? Just because you love him? Because he caused me to lose my husband, caused my child to lose her father?โ€

    Zuo Jingyouโ€™s voice was kept very low, her face carrying a faint mockery she had never shown before: โ€œWhy should I be so magnanimous as to fulfill your love story?โ€


    The author has something to say:

    He Zhiwen is the type who thinks, โ€œMale or female, as long as I like them, itโ€™s fine.โ€

    Also, in this story, I wonโ€™t pass judgment on anyoneโ€™s actions, so how you evaluate them is up to you, my reader friends.


    LP: Re-translated on April 25, 2025



    Footnotes

    1. ๆ’’ๅฌŒ | sฤjiฤo | To act coquettishly, whine playfully, or behave like a spoiled child to gain affection or attention.
    2. ๅฆ‚็ซๅฆ‚่ผ | rรบ huว’ rรบ tรบ | Lit. โ€œlike fire, like flowering reedsโ€; Describes something flourishing, intense, or passionate.
    3. ๅฐๅคœ | XiวŽo Yรจ | Likely a pet name for Lin Xiao (้œ„ Xiฤo). ๅฐ (xiวŽo) means โ€˜littleโ€™ and is often used in nicknames. ๅคœ (yรจ) means โ€˜nightโ€™.
    4. ่‚‰้บป | rรฒumรก | Lit. โ€œnumb fleshโ€; Describes words or actions that are overly sentimental, cheesy, or embarrassing.
    5. ้พ™ๅฅ— | lรณngtร o | Lit. โ€œdragon robeโ€; Refers to extras or bit-part actors in opera or film.
    6. ๅดญ้œฒๅคด่ง’ | zhวŽnlรน tรณujiวŽo | Lit. โ€œreveal horns and show the headโ€; To begin to distinguish oneself, to emerge.
    7. ๅพฎๅš | Wฤ“ibรณ | A major Chinese microblogging platform, similar to Twitter.
    8. ้ป‘ๆ–™ | hฤ“iliร o | Lit. โ€œblack materialโ€; Slang for negative or scandalous information/material about someone, especially a public figure.
    9. ๅฐไธ‰ | xiวŽosฤn | Lit. โ€œlittle threeโ€; A derogatory slang term for the third party in an extramarital affair, the โ€˜other womanโ€™ or โ€˜other manโ€™.
    10. ๅ‡บ่ฝจ | chลซguว | Lit. โ€œderailโ€; To have an extramarital affair, to cheat on oneโ€™s partner.
    11. ้ฃž่กŒๆฃ‹ | fฤ“ixรญng qรญ | Lit. โ€œflying chessโ€; The Chinese name for the board game Ludo or Parcheesi.
    12. ่„ธไธ็บขๅฟƒไธ่ทณ | liวŽn bรน hรณng xฤซn bรน tiร o | Lit. โ€œface not red, heart not jumpingโ€; To do something (often deceitful) very calmly, without showing any signs of nervousness or embarrassment.
    13. ๆ‹‰้ˆŽไธŠๅŠ๏ผŒไธ€็™พๅนดไธ่ฎธๅ˜ | lฤ gลu shร ng diร o, yฤซ bวŽi niรกn bรน xว” biร n | A common childrenโ€™s pinky swear rhyme in Chinese, sealing a promise. The โ€œhang if you lieโ€ part is traditional but not meant literally.
    14. ้ฃŸ่จ€ | shรญ yรกn | Lit. โ€œeat wordsโ€; To break oneโ€™s promise.
    15. ๅทฅไฝœๅฎค | gลngzuรฒshรฌ | Can refer to an artistโ€™s studio, an agency, or a personal office managing their affairs.
    16. ่‡ชๆšด่‡ชๅผƒ | zรฌ bร o zรฌ qรฌ | Lit. โ€œto abandon oneself to despairโ€; To give up on oneself, act recklessly out of despair.
    17. ๆƒ…็ง | qรญngzhว’ng | Lit. โ€œseed of affection/loveโ€; A person deeply affected by love, often implying they are foolishly devoted or prioritize love above all else. Can be used admiringly or, as here, sarcastically/critically.

    6 Comments

    1. Anazu Salted Fish
      Oct 28, '23 at 2:05 PM

      Ah yes the logics of cheater and third wheel. how dare ppl forbid our love ๐Ÿ™„

    2. Anazu Salted Fish
      Oct 28, '23 at 2:05 AM

      Ah yes the logics of cheater and third wheel. how dare ppl forbid our love 🙄

    3. dweeb
      Sep 25, '23 at 4:06 AM

      I am loving the premise, love our girl fail mc ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜ฉ

    4. dweeb
      Sep 24, '23 at 4:06 PM

      I am loving the premise, love our girl fail mc 🙏😩

    5. Yunhan
      Sep 23, '23 at 6:38 AM

      ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„the audacity to ask for help

    6. Yunhan
      Sep 22, '23 at 6:38 PM

      🙄🙄🙄the audacity to ask for help

    Note