After Being Scummed – Chapter 54
by Little PandaA Choice
Their lips and tongues tangled, her breath stolen away. In the midst of such a fierce kiss, Yin Bai felt the air around her grow thin. Gradually, she found it hard to breathe.
As her breathing grew difficult, Yin Bai struggled out of Zuo Jingyou’s embrace. With her hands still wrapped around Zuo Jingyou’s waist, she leaned her head back against the door, tears welling in the corners of her eyes as she panted, “Oxygen… oxygen…”
I’m going to die, I’m going to die…
My heart is beating so fast. I’m definitely going to die from lack of oxygen on this godforsaken plateau!
Zuo Jingyou looked down at her, her eyes moist, her lips glistening. She caught her breath for a moment, then, holding Yin Bai by the waist, said, “Open the door. There’s an oxygen tank inside…”
Yin Bai nodded, breathing heavily. She reached into her pocket, fumbling for a while, but couldn’t find her room key. Her mind was a complete blank. She looked at Zuo Jingyou, at a total loss. “My… that keycard… Zhang Yu…”
Oh god, her keycard was with Zhang Yu. She had returned in such a hurry she’d forgotten to ask for it back!
Seeing her flustered state, Zuo Jingyou chuckled in amusement. She looked up, her eyes curving into a gentle smile. “Then come with me. Let’s go to my room first. I have one there.”
Yin Bai didn’t reply. She shot a quick glance at Zuo Jingyou, then her gaze fell to the cane that had dropped to the floor. She pressed her reddened lips together tightly.
Zuo Jingyou released her embrace, smoothly took her hand, and bent down to pick up Yin Bai’s cane. She placed it in her hand and said softly, “Let’s go.”
Not waiting to see if Yin Bai had heard, Zuo Jingyou led her by the hand toward her own room.
Yin Bai limped behind her, leaning on her cane, her eyes fixed on Zuo Jingyou’s back. Her mind was completely filled with the kiss from moments ago.
She had thought Zuo Jingyou was so good to her just because she had a great relationship with Tongtong—that they were just good friends.
She had thought all the companionship Zuo Jingyou offered was merely a form of special treatment, born from the affection between friends.
She had never imagined that there could be anything romantic between them.
But was that really true?
Zuo Jingyou called her at the same time every day, coaxing her, comforting her… always looking after her emotional state…
The things she said during those late-night calls were nothing but vague, romantic hints…
Had she herself really not felt a thing?
Dazed, Yin Bai followed Zuo Jingyou, watching unsteadily as she swiped her keycard to open the door. Like a ghost, she trailed her into the room and was gently pushed down to sit on the living room sofa.
Clutching her cane, Yin Bai watched as Zuo Jingyou opened a bottle of oxygen from the coffee table, attached the mask, and handed it to her. “Here.”
Yin Bai reached out, took the oxygen tank, and placed the mask over her face, pressing the button. With a hiss, she took a deep breath, finally finding relief from the suffocating distress.
She held the mask to her face and took several greedy gulps of air before her wildly pounding heart began to calm.
Sitting beside her, Zuo Jingyou watched as she took a few deep breaths before cradling the tank and taking smaller, gentler sips. She smiled faintly and asked softly, “Feeling better?”
Yin Bai nodded. She hugged the oxygen tank and looked up, stealing a cautious glance at Zuo Jingyou. But the moment their eyes met, she quickly looked down again and asked, her voice laced with unease, “What did you mean by… ‘try’?”
Seeing her evasive posture, Zuo Jingyou’s heart softened. She said gently, “It means… let’s try dating. How about it?”
So that’s what she meant.
Yin Bai hugged the oxygen tank tighter, her feet tapping nervously on the floor. She bit her lip, holding back for a long moment before looking up at Zuo Jingyou. “Why me?”
She didn’t understand what there was about her for Zuo Jingyou to like.
She didn’t understand what reason Zuo Jingyou could have for risking the end of their friendship to change their relationship.
Did Zuo Jingyou not cherish their friendship at all?
Zuo Jingyou tilted her head, propping her chin on her hand as she gazed quietly at Yin Bai, her eyes filled with a soft light. “Why can’t it be you?”
Yin Bai frowned, her lips pressed together, looking utterly troubled. “I don’t understand.”
Zuo Jingyou was silent for a moment before looking at Yin Bai and saying, word by word, “You are wonderful, Yin Bai.”
“To me, you are not just an ordinary friend. I need you. You are a unique existence in my life. In my rational judgment, I do not believe that letting a person like you slip away would be the best choice.”
“It’s like I said before—grey-blue used to be just one color among many to me. But after getting to know you, the grey-blue sky, the grey-blue sea, and everything else that’s grey-blue… they all took on a special meaning for me.”
“Because seeing those things makes me think of your eyes. It has become a color unique to my life.”
No one could remain unmoved by such a confession, especially when spoken by someone as sincere as Zuo Jingyou. The words carried an even greater weight.
The power of language was immense. Just like with the kiss earlier, Yin Bai could now directly feel the hidden affection Zuo Jingyou held for her.
But how long could this affection last? How deep could it be?
Love wasn’t always eternal.
Unsure how to respond, Yin Bai pressed her lips together, clutching the oxygen tank in her hands as she fell silent for a long while. She looked up, her eyes shimmering with a faint glisten of tears as she met Zuo Jingyou’s gaze. “We can’t be friends forever anymore, can we?”
Zuo Jingyou gazed into her eyes and spoke softly, “I’ve thought about this for a long time. This isn’t a question of whether we can be friends… It’s that I can’t deny that I like you.”
Zuo Jingyou sighed, her gaze softening as she looked at Yin Bai. “If you choose to reject me, we can, of course, continue to be friends. But I would need you to give me some time to process these sudden feelings.”
Zuo Jingyou was a mature person. Long before this feeling had blossomed, she had already considered all the possible ways her relationship with Yin Bai could develop.
But whether as a close friend or a lover, she didn’t want to lose contact with Yin Bai. And she believed that someone like Yin Bai, who was so devoted to her relationships, wouldn’t choose to leave her either.
Hearing this answer, Yin Bai calmed down considerably. She held the oxygen tank, thought for a moment, and looked at Zuo Jingyou. “I’m glad to hear that. But… if that’s the case, it would be too unfair to you.”
Yin Bai paused, then looked at Zuo Jingyou. “I also…”
Her gaze dropped, and her voice grew softer. “I thought I was different from Xiao Nian, but… it turns out I can be…”
She couldn’t bring herself to say the word to Zuo Jingyou, so she could only respond with such a vague statement.
Zuo Jingyou’s gaze suddenly softened. She reached out and took Yin Bai’s hand, looking into her eyes as she coaxed gently, “I understand, Yin Bai. I understand…”
“Taking the first step is actually very difficult.”
Zuo Jingyou patted her hand, soothing her softly, “You don’t need to think about so many things. Just follow your heart… Don’t be in a hurry to give me an answer. I won’t pressure you…”
“Let’s just let things happen naturally, okay?”
Yin Bai looked up at Zuo Jingyou, her gaze as frightened and uneasy as a small animal’s. “Will you leave me in the future?”
Zuo Jingyou smiled and gently squeezed her hand. “I said I’d be your good friend for life, so I will be your good friend for life. I won’t leave you.”
In truth, a promise of “a lifetime” from an adult wasn’t very believable. Especially since Zuo Jingyou had a track record of offering so many sugar-coated bullets. Logically, Yin Bai should have been even more skeptical.
But when Zuo Jingyou said those words, Yin Bai believed her.
Yin Bai pursed her lips, looking at Zuo Jingyou, momentarily at a loss for words.
When she didn’t get a response, Zuo Jingyou lowered her eyes, a bitter smile on her face. “But if you reject me, my heart will probably ache every time I see you for the rest of my life.”
Seeing her crestfallen expression, Yin Bai’s heart suddenly clenched. She quickly grabbed Zuo Jingyou’s hand and stammered out reassurances, “Don’t… don’t be sad. It’s not worth it… Zuo Jingyou… it’s not worth it…”
“I’m not… not a very good person… I’m not worthy of you being so…”
Zuo Jingyou leaned in, resting against her. “Whether you’re good or not isn’t for you to judge,” she said in a low voice. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“Even if you think you’re not good, and others think you’re not good, as long as I know you’re good to me, that’s enough.”
Zuo Jingyou held her hand, resting her head on her shoulder and chuckling softly. “Didn’t you tell me you were biased toward me?”
“You’re biased toward me. That’s more than enough.”
Yin Bai didn’t know how to respond. She pulled her hand out of Zuo Jingyou’s grasp, wrapped her arm around Zuo Jingyou’s shoulders, and drew her into an embrace.
Holding Zuo Jingyou, she dug her nails into her own palm, taking a long time to calm down before she said in a low voice, “I need some time…”
“Zuo Jingyou, this is a very important decision for me. I may have never made a decision this seriously or carefully in my entire life…”
“I need some time to think about how I should live the second half of my life.”
If she chose Zuo Jingyou, she would never love another person for the rest of her life.
But she was afraid… afraid that Zuo Jingyou, like Xiao Nian, would eventually leave her.
She was also afraid that in five years, or ten… she would forget Zuo Jingyou just as she had forgotten Xiao Nian, and fall in love with someone else all over again.
Why was love a poison1 coated in honey?
The sweeter it was, the more fatal.
Yin Bai released Zuo Jingyou and placed both hands on her shoulders, looking at her earnestly with those shimmering, grey-blue eyes. “Wait for me a little longer. I will give you a serious reply.”
“Okay.”
Afterward, Zuo Jingyou picked up her phone and called Yang Yi, asking her to bring over the keycard Yin Bai had left with Zhang Yu. Once the keycard arrived, Zuo Jingyou stood up and walked Yin Bai back to her room.
Standing at the doorway once more, Zuo Jingyou looked at Yin Bai leaning on her cane and smiled faintly. “I’m an impatient person, so you must give me an answer as soon as possible.”
Yin Bai nodded emphatically. “Okay.”
That night, after watching Zuo Jingyou leave, Yin Bai, leaning on her cane and holding the oxygen tank, sat motionless on the sofa by the window for the entire night.
At the break of dawn, Yin Bai called her assistant, Xiang Qiu, and had her book a ticket. After grabbing all her documents, Yin Bai had a car take her to the airport. She flew back to Haicheng alone, then took a connecting flight overnight to her private island in the Southern Hemisphere.
She didn’t bring Zhang Yu, nor did she bring her luggage. She simply left Zuo Jingyou’s side in a hurried, disheveled mess.
It was, simply put, a desperate escape.
LP: Re-translated on June 27, 2025
i love it when confessions are handled maturely
i love it when confessions are handled maturely
very mature confession, fitting for these characters
very mature confession, fitting for these characters