STT – Chapter 72

The most beautiful is not the rainy day, but the eaves under which I once sheltered from the rain with you.

On Saturday, Lu Zizheng got up early, finished washing up, simply heated a cup of milk and ate two slices of bread, then according to the time agreed with Lian Xuan, left home five minutes early, preparing to wait at the entrance for Lian Xuan to come out.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Lu Zizheng opened the door, she saw that Lian Xuan was already waiting by the door, looking fully prepared, with one hand holding a shoulder bag, and the other hand holding… a bag of breakfast?

Seeing Lu Zizheng come out, Lian Xuan immediately stood up straight, tilted her head slightly, her black hair falling over one shoulder, and smiled gently, saying: “Good morning, have you had breakfast?” As she spoke, she slightly lifted the soy milk and steamed buns she was holding in one hand, explaining: “I bought breakfast on my way back from morning exercise, and brought a portion for you. I was worried it was too early and you hadn’t gotten up yet, so I didn’t dare knock on the door. I’ve been waiting here to see if I might happen to catch you coming out to buy breakfast.”

Lu Zizheng gently closed the door, looked at her, bit her lip, and said somewhat embarrassedly: “I’ve already eaten…”

Hearing this, Lian Xuan paused slightly, then shook her head, smiling as if it didn’t matter much: “It’s okay, I was just worried it was too early and different from your usual routine, afraid you might not have time to eat.” After saying this, she turned to open her door while requesting: “Then please wait a moment, I’ll put this away and come right out.”

Lu Zizheng softly “hmm”-ed, watching Lian Xuan’s figure as she turned to enter the door, furrowing her brow thoughtfully.

So, how early had she started waiting at the door?

As it was still quite early, the morning light was gentle, and a cool breeze was blowing. The street was unusually empty. Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan walked side by side, neither too close nor too far apart. She carefully looked around at her surroundings and said softly, “It seems that even though I’ve been here for so long, this is the first time I’ve really observed the scenery along this road.”

Lian Xuan tilted her head to look at Lu Zizheng, seemingly interested, and smiled, “Since I came here, I’ve been jogging around this area every morning, so I’m quite familiar with the surroundings of this road.” She pointed her hand towards the front of the road and casually introduced, “Look, you see that flower bed? There’s a small path there. If you turn there, it leads to a park. Every morning, there are many grandpas and grandmas dancing and practicing Tai Chi inside. Their energy is much better than most sleepy-eyed young people in the morning. Then, after leaving the park, a little further ahead, there’s a former residence of a famous person. It looks very ancient, with an architectural style quite distinctive from its surroundings. I’ve always wanted to find an opportunity to go inside and have a look. Then a bit further ahead…”

As Lian Xuan spoke about these things, she was orderly and thorough, as if reciting treasured possessions. Lu Zizheng turned her head to look at her, with an interested expression, listening very attentively.

As Lian Xuan continued her introduction along the way, by the time she finished, X University was already in sight.

Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but smile, jokingly saying to Lian Xuan: “It seems that, compared to me, you’re more suited for the role of a tour guide. Morning jogging is a good habit, not only does it exercise the body, but it also broadens one’s horizons.”

Lian Xuan also gently curved her lips, revealing two shallow dimples. After hesitating for a moment, she invited: “Jogging is indeed nice. Would you be interested in exercising with me in the morning? It’s a bit hard for me to persist alone.”

She looked at Lu Zizheng, her face full of smiles, her gaze natural and open, as if this was really just a casual, joking suggestion. Only Lian Xuan herself knew how rapidly her heart was beating with anticipation after asking this question, and how her palms were damp with sweat.

However, Lu Zizheng seemed completely unaware, just casually smiled lightly, and shook her head, politely declining: “I’m lazy, how could I possibly get up? Let me sleep a bit more.” As she spoke, she strode quickly towards X University, calling out: “Let’s hurry, the sun will be getting hot soon.”

Lian Xuan watched her figure, nodded, her expression imperceptibly dimming. She let out a long sigh and followed.

Thanks to Lu Zizheng’s campus card, the two of them easily entered X University. Lu Zizheng had prepared in advance, planning out the sightseeing route. Holding a map, she led Lian Xuan from the east gate, circling westward along the way, introducing places as they walked, and even helping to take photos. Except for refusing to pose for photos with Lian Xuan, which disappointed her, Lu Zizheng was a dedicated and sincere tour guide.

As noon approached, the sun gradually became scorching. Both Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan were wearing sleeveless, leg-baring dresses. After a short time in the sun, both of them were starting to struggle.

Lu Zizheng found a spot shaded by trees, stopped, and took an umbrella out of her bag. She turned her head slightly and saw Lian Xuan looking at her umbrella with bright eyes full of expectation, somewhat pitifully. Lu Zizheng guessed correctly and asked, pretending not to know: “You didn’t bring an umbrella?”

Lian Xuan nodded embarrassedly.

Lu Zizheng opened the umbrella and said with a faint smile, “Then let’s share it.”

Lian Xuan’s eyes curved into a smile as she nodded, moving closer to Lu Zizheng and sheltering under the umbrella. As they were about to start walking again, leaving the shade of the trees, Lian Xuan naturally moved even closer to Lu Zizheng, gently hooking her right arm through Lu Zizheng’s arm that was holding the umbrella handle.

Because Lu Zizheng liked girls and, apart from Jiang Huaixi and Xu Baihan, didn’t have any other close friends, she was particularly sensitive and aware of excessively intimate physical contact.

The moment Lian Xuan drew close and linked arms with her, Lu Zizheng involuntarily stiffened, her expression becoming somewhat unnatural. In the next second, Lu Zizheng pretended as if nothing had happened and switched hands to hold the umbrella, saying, “It seems more convenient to hold it with this hand…” As she spoke, she inconspicuously moved away from Lian Xuan, with nearly half of her body exposed to the sunlight outside the umbrella.

How could Lian Xuan truly not notice Lu Zizheng’s deliberate distancing? The smile on her face inevitably faded a little. Her eyes dimmed slightly as she took the umbrella from Lu Zizheng’s hand, pretending not to have noticed anything, and said in her usual gentle tone, “Let me hold it.” As she spoke, she tilted the umbrella towards Lu Zizheng, enveloping her entire body in the shade. Then, she moved her own body slightly outside the umbrella, actively creating distance between herself and Lu Zizheng, neither too far nor too close, just right.

Lu Zizheng couldn’t tell if Lian Xuan had noticed her deliberate action, but neither of them said anything more, maintaining this distance as they walked towards the East Garden Cafeteria.

After having lunch at the East Garden Cafeteria, they rested there briefly before going to the library to enjoy the air conditioning, avoiding the most scorching afternoon sun while waiting for the right time to set out again.

After 2 PM, the sky suddenly began to darken, and the sunlight gradually disappeared. Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but smile inwardly: Jiang Huaixi rarely checks the weather forecast, but it seems to be quite accurate this time. It really looks like it’s going to rain.

So the two immediately left the library, taking advantage of the rare cloudy weather to begin their afternoon sightseeing. Along the way, they passed the Science and Technology Building, the historic Finance and Economics Teaching Building, the Maritime Dormitory, various uniquely flavored bookstore cafes, and the famous Egret Island Conservation Area. To Lian Xuan’s surprise, Lu Zizheng spoke knowledgeably about the history of these places… Little did she know that Lu Zizheng had put in great effort, treating this opportunity to guide her as a rehearsal, hoping that the next time she came with Jiang Huaixi, she could impress her and make her see her in a new light.

By evening, as they were coming out of the specialty bookstore outside the Overseas Education College, preparing to exit through the west gate of the campus, Lu Zizheng suddenly felt something cool hitting her face.

Beside her, Lian Xuan’s consistently gentle and steady voice suddenly carried a hint of excitement as she said, “It’s about to rain…”

As she spoke, a few more large raindrops hit Lu Zizheng’s body. Without thinking, Lu Zizheng tilted her head, lowered her shoulder, and was about to take out the umbrella she had just put away in her bag.

Unexpectedly, Lian Xuan was a step faster. She quickly took out a cardigan from her bag, moved close to Lu Zizheng, raised her hand, and spread the garment over both their heads. She anxiously said to Lu Zizheng, “There’s a small pavilion ahead, let’s quickly run there to take shelter from the rain.”

Lu Zizheng, with one hand still holding the umbrella she had just taken out of her bag, was slightly surprised and softly uttered an “Ah,” feeling bewildered and confused. Before she could react, Lian Xuan gently pushed her body with her arm, prompting her to start running.

The rain intensified a bit more. Lian Xuan couldn’t hold up the cardigan alone, and raindrops sprinkled onto both Lu Zizheng’s and Lian Xuan’s faces. To avoid the rain, Lu Zizheng reflexively reached out to help hold up one corner of the cardigan. As she ran, panting, she turned her head to look at Lian Xuan, who was running and smiling beside her. Lu Zizheng’s face was full of confusion and incomprehension: We have an umbrella, don’t we?

Finally reaching the Forget-Me-Not Pavilion that could shelter them from the rain, Lu Zizheng’s body went limp with exhaustion as she leaned against a pillar, breathing heavily. As her breath slightly steadied, she wanted to ask Lian Xuan why they didn’t use the umbrella. However, as she turned her head, she saw Lian Xuan holding that cardigan, her eyes gentle, gazing at her without blinking, the tender smile in her dimples almost overflowing.

Lu Zizheng’s heart inexplicably sank, and she turned her gaze away, not daring to meet Lian Xuan’s eyes. She heard Lian Xuan’s mellow voice, asking with a gentle tone and a smile, “Are you wondering why I didn’t use the umbrella when we had one?”

Lu Zizheng nodded lightly.

Lian Xuan blinked, her eyes gentle, and explained, “Actually, it was just a spur of the moment thing. That cardigan was originally prepared in case the sun was too strong, to wear for shade.” She paused, then continued with a rare hint of shyness in her smile, “When I used to watch movies, every time I saw those seemingly romantic scenes, like the main characters running in the rain to seek shelter and such, I would think it was childish and unrealistic, but deep down I was quite envious. If one could find someone they’re willing to be childish and crazy with regardless of everything, and the feeling is mutual, it would be a rare fortune.”

After saying this, she looked at Lu Zizheng, her eyes showing a hint of mischievous smile, and added, “So today, with the perfect timing, location, and company, I couldn’t help but indulge in being willful and childish, acting foolishly. Although from my usual perspective, it’s really childish and foolish to the point of being hard to look at, but, haha, it feels quite nice.”

Lu Zizheng was struck by the gentle, open smile and pure longing in Lian Xuan’s eyes. Lian Xuan, who had taken off her mask to be herself, was unexpectedly childishly cute, contrary to her elegant and gentle appearance. Lu Zizheng looked at her, pressed her lips into a slight smile, and teased, “So, are you saying that there’s actually a romantic little girl living in your heart?”

Lian Xuan somewhat embarrassedly smoothed her hair near her ear, smiling without denying it. She saw that Lu Zizheng’s bangs were wet from the rain, limp and a bit messy on her forehead, so she took out a tissue from her bag and naturally raised her hand to wipe Lu Zizheng’s forehead, her gaze gentle.

Lu Zizheng, like a startled fawn, hurriedly jumped back a step. Then, as if realizing her reaction was a bit too strong, she avoided Lian Xuan’s gaze as a way of recovery, took the tissue from her hand, and explained somewhat awkwardly, “I can do it myself.”

After hastily wiping a few times, she looked at the gradually lessening rain outside and jokingly asked, pretending to be casual, “Romantic little girl, the rain has lightened. Shall we go back? Do you want to try walking in the light rain without an umbrella?”

When Lu Zizheng had hurriedly backed away, Lian Xuan’s raised hand awkwardly hung in the air for a moment before slowly closing her fingers and dropping it dejectedly. Her gaze was deep, her expression faint as she looked at the drizzling rain outside the pavilion, appearing lost in thought. Hearing Lu Zizheng’s question, Lian Xuan gathered her thoughts, revealed a smile, and answered with a faint laugh, “Sure, but if you catch a cold because of this, I won’t be responsible, you know.”

Lu Zizheng just smiled faintly and shook her head, saying, “Of course I won’t.” After speaking, she strode out, taking the lead in leaving the Forget-Me-Not Pavilion and stepping into the misty drizzle.

Lian Xuan stood outside the pavilion, watching Lu Zizheng’s long hair spread behind her, swaying in the wind. In this light rain and mundane world, she was as beautiful as a painting, inevitably stirring Lian Xuan’s heart. She turned back, slightly raised her head to look at the plaque of the pavilion, her expression becoming solemn and somewhat melancholic. “Forget-Me-Not Pavilion, forget not, forget not, who else is still remembering…”

On the street gradually moving away from X University, in the rain curtain getting closer and closer to the apartment, Lian Xuan finally couldn’t suppress the bitterness that had been building up along the way. With some expectation and wistfulness, she asked, “Zizheng, if, if back then I hadn’t been so selfish and cowardly, if there hadn’t been so many twists of fate, would we, between us, be more than just friends?”

Lu Zizheng, walking not far from her side, slightly faltered in her steps, letting out a soft sigh, but responded coolly and calmly, “But, Lian Xuan, life has no ‘ifs’, only results.”

Past emotions, the sincerity once given, truly existed, undeniable and needn’t be denied. If there were ‘ifs’, removing those obstacles that caused their separation, they would certainly have continued loving each other. As long as the hearts that once loved were true, which pair of lovers wouldn’t have thought about staying together forever, growing old together.

However, making such assumptions now, no matter how many, is nothing more than flowers in a mirror or the moon in the water, impossible to retrieve. In the past, she loved Lian Xuan, this was true. Now, she no longer loves Lian Xuan, this is also true.

Why do both Jiang Huaixi and Lian Xuan ask her such questions? Or rather, what kind of proof do they hope she can give them?

Lu Zizheng’s voice was soft and faint, floating: “Actually, isn’t it quite good like this now? We’re still friends.”

Lian Xuan’s thin lips were tightly pressed into a line, she just lowered her head, not responding to Lu Zizheng.

In fact, for many years, Lu Zizheng believed that it was impossible to become friends after breaking up, because, if they had truly loved each other, facing each other would be too cruel. And now, because of Jiang Huaixi, because of Lian Xuan, she suddenly understood that the inability to become friends after breaking up is probably due to mutual resentment, or lingering love. In any case, it all comes down to that saying: still not having let go.

Now, her ability to face Lian Xuan so openly and without reservations simply proves that she has truly and thoroughly let go, without any lingering concerns.

However, at this moment, looking at the silent Lian Xuan beside her, recalling Jiang Huaixi’s obscure expression that night, and Jiang Huaixi’s inexplicable silence recently when mentioning Lian Xuan, Lu Zizheng seemed to suddenly understand.

It seems Lian Xuan hasn’t realized that for her, everything has long become the past, irretrievable; and Jiang Huaixi, perhaps isn’t as confident as she had imagined? About her, or about herself?

Lu Zizheng’s steps gradually became heavier, her brows slightly furrowing. Perhaps, this kind of distance isn’t actually suitable for her and Lian Xuan?

Lian Xuan won’t give up, Huaixi won’t be at ease.

Lu Zizheng inwardly let out a long sigh. Huaixi, even if I wholeheartedly focus on understanding your Zen, there are some things I can’t comprehend unless you point them out. To know and stay with each other in love, perhaps we still have much to learn.

LP: Re-translated on October 13, 2024