Ever since, life harbors long-lasting regrets like the waters flowing endlessly east.
Jiang Huaixi sat up straight, her expression calmly looking at Lian Xuan, giving her a slight nod to show politeness, her lips tightly pressed together, not uttering a single word.
Lian Xuan didn’t mind her indifference, a subtle and appropriate smile still on her lips, as she naturally sat down beside Jiang Huaixi.
Jiang Huaixi sat properly, her gaze quietly fixed on the office door opposite, silent and not speaking, waiting for Lian Xuan to speak again.
As expected, it wasn’t long before Lian Xuan lost in this silent battle, gently sighing and turning her head to look at Jiang Huaixi, saying warmly, “Miss Jiang, I know you definitely have contact with Zizheng.”
Jiang Huaixi withdrew her gaze from the door, turned her head to look lightly at Lian Xuan, and asked in a soft voice, “So?”
Lian Xuan looked at her cold expression, not minding much, her expression still amiable: “I would like to ask Miss Jiang to help me convey to Zizheng that I want to arrange a meeting with her.”
Jiang Huaixi turned her head back, withdrew her gaze, and lightly refused, saying: “I think for Zizheng, some people, perhaps meeting them is not as good as remembering them.”
Lian Xuan finally could not help furrowing her brows, her voice carrying some urgency as she said: “Miss Jiang, I know Zizheng certainly does not want to see me now. But that’s because there are misunderstandings caused by a third person between us. I confess, I once hurt Zizheng, but at that time, I was compelled by circumstances, and I have regretted it for many years. But today, I have already given up everything for this, and if misunderstandings caused by a third person make it so that Zizheng and I never interact again, how can I accept that? I still ask Miss Jiang to fulfill this beautiful thing.”
Jiang Huaixi suddenly turned her face, her eyes sharply glancing at Lian Xuan, and said seriously: “President Lian, your efforts for Zizheng are your personal actions, and it does not mean that just because you exerted effort, Zizheng must be moved and return the favor. I hope President Lian you can clearly understand this principle.”
Lian Xuan was stunned, looked at Jiang Huaixi, bit her lips, the smile on her face stiffening, and after a long time, she lowered her voice and said: “I misspoke.”
Jiang Huaixi gazed deeply at the polished floor beneath her feet, where her and Lian Xuan’s reflections were clearly visible. She suddenly asked Lian Xuan, “President Lian, have you ever raised flowers?”
Lian Xuan was naturally taken aback, and after a moment of silence, she gently shook her head and responded, “I don’t have time.”
Jiang Huaixi wasn’t truly inquiring of Lian Xuan, indifferent to her answer, she just pondered for a moment and continued, “When I was young, I raised a pot of flowers. Initially, when I was idle at home and bored, I naturally took great care of this pot of flowers, watching it slowly grow, budding, anticipating the day it would bloom. But later, before I could see it bloom, I became busy, and so I began to miss its blooming, missed the time to water it, and gradually, I completely forgot about it. A long time later, when I was idle again and remembered to water it, I discovered that the pot of flowers had already wilted and decayed, and no matter how much I wanted to recover it, no matter how much effort I put in, it could never bloom for me again.”
At this point, Jiang Huaixi paused, glancing at Lian Xuan, her expression indifferent yet faintly severe: “I realized then that some missed opportunities are destined to become regrets, irreparable. After all, not everyone has the time, the need, or the willingness to wait in place for you to realize, for you to regret. No one is obligated to pay for your regrets. And my lack of time to water the flowers was also due to circumstances beyond my control, but regardless, this cannot be an excuse for my mistake. Essentially, isn’t it because I did not care enough for it at the time, that in my heart there were many things more important than it?”
Lian Xuan, how could she not hear Jiang Huaixi’s implication, was momentarily frozen there, not knowing how to respond.
Jiang Huaixi clasped her hands tightly, her thumbs gently rubbing together, and said coldly, “President Lian, I am not willing to help you convey your wish to see Zizheng. She has already let go of the past, so why should I bring unnecessary trouble to her? Moreover, I believe that even today, you have not truly understood Zizheng, nor have you truly realized what your mistake was back then.”
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As she spoke, Director Wang finally arrived hurriedly, wiping sweat as he opened the office door, apologizing to Jiang Huaixi, “Sorry, Huaixi, I came late.”
Jiang Huaixi stood up, gently shook her head, and replied to Director Wang, “No, it was I who troubled you, making you come specially after work.” After speaking, she turned her body, nodded lightly to Lian Xuan, and said, “Sorry, President Lian, excuse me.” With that, she followed Director Wang toward the office.
Lian Xuan bit her lips tightly, one hand gripping the edge of the chair, slightly trembling, her eyes filled with tears. Jiang Huaixi’s questioning made her feel both guilty and aggrieved, along with a trace of indescribable anger. She stood up and couldn’t help but question Jiang Huaixi in a hoarse voice, “Miss Jiang, not everyone is as fortunate as you, receiving endless love and care, having everything go your way. If positions were switched, it’s uncertain whether you could say these words so calmly. Miss Jiang, what are you afraid of? Why are you unwilling to give me and Zizheng a chance?”
Jiang Huaixi’s steps paused slightly, her fists almost imperceptibly clenched once. She wanted to calmly reply, but when she looked at the medical record book on the office desk, her words dissipated in her throat. In the end, she just bit her lip, ultimately saying nothing, and did not respond to Lian Xuan again. She entered the office and closed the door.
Outside the office, Lian Xuan stared intently at Jiang Huaixi’s back until she entered the office and closed the door, leaving her in silence. She bit her teeth and blinked her eyes, but a crystal tear still couldn’t help but slip down from the corner of her eye…
Inside the office, Director Wang, having heard about Jiang Huaixi’s symptoms over the past few days, used a stethoscope to listen to Jiang Huaixi’s heart and other areas, his eyebrows slowly furrowing.
Jiang Huaixi, seeing Director Wang’s expression, couldn’t help but feel a thump in her heart and hesitantly asked, “Director, is it a relapse?”
Director Wang hesitated for a moment, while opening an examination order, gently shook his head, and said, “It doesn’t seem like it; I’m afraid it’s a lung issue. Don’t worry yet, I’ll first write the order, and we will go together for the check-up. Once the results are out, I can better explain.”
Jiang Huaixi slightly closed her eyes and calmly responded, “Okay, then I’ll trouble you.” However, her hands placed on her knees trembled almost imperceptibly.
Lying inside the CT machine, Jiang Huaixi listened to the machine’s cold commands of “inhale, exhale,” and couldn’t help but shiver all over, feeling somewhat nauseous.
Jiang Huaixi closed her eyes and sighed sadly in her heart: Is life perhaps just like this, where there are gains, there must be losses? Is such a frail body worth exchanging for the thousand pampering and ten thousand loves that Lian Xuan mentioned? If only there were ifs… haha, but in life, there are no ifs.
After going back and forth through many examination rooms and completing all the tests, Jiang Huaixi was already so tired that her face had turned somewhat pale. She leaned weakly against the chair, breathing rapidly.
Director Wang, sitting behind the office desk, opened the computer and waited for all the examination reports to be transmitted. Seeing Jiang Huaixi’s exhausted appearance, he couldn’t help but sigh and said, “Huaixi, your constitution is still too weak, with poor immunity, so naturally, you easily get sick.”
Upon hearing this, Jiang Huaixi bitterly smiled and nodded.
After another ten minutes, Director Wang finally collected all the reports and reviewed them one by one. Jiang Huaixi, having rested enough, sat up straight and couldn’t help but pay full attention to observing Director Wang’s expression. She saw his eyebrows furrowing tighter and tighter until he finally put down the mouse and looked at her, clearly with some reluctance to speak.
Jiang Huaixi bit her lip and pretended to be calm, saying, “Director, it’s okay, please speak directly.”
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Director Wang looked into Jiang Huaixi’s eyes, and inevitably, there was a touch of melancholy in his gaze. He sighed deeply and said, “Huaixi, this time it’s not a heart issue. It’s a lung problem; the preliminary diagnosis is pleurisy. Come and look here.”
Jiang Huaixi clenched her fists, tightening and then loosening them, as she slowly walked step by step to stand behind Director Wang and looked at the CT image he pointed to.
Director Wang said, “Huaixi, there’s so much fluid in your chest cavity that if it were all drawn out, it could fill two mineral water bottles, and it’s already completely submerged your lungs. Your previous side waist pain and rib pain were also due to this reason. Because of the pleural adhesion, it hurt initially, but as the fluid increased, it acted as a lubricant, and you instead no longer felt pain. Huaixi, you can’t delay any longer. You must be hospitalized immediately to have the fluid drawn out.”
Jiang Huaixi’s legs weakened for a moment, and after steadying her mind, she steadied her voice and asked Director Wang, “Director, so what is causing this? Is it serious?”
Director Wang sighed heavily again and said, “There are many causes for pleurisy. To diagnose the real cause, we still need to wait for the fluid to be drawn out and do a pathological analysis to determine. The worst possibility is cancer, but in young people, it’s mostly caused by tuberculosis. Huaixi, don’t think too much. If it’s caused by tuberculosis, as long as you take medicine regularly, it can be cured.”
However, at the moment she heard “cancer, tuberculosis,” Jiang Huaixi’s body almost went weak, and she nearly couldn’t stand steadily. It’s amusing, her first thought was actually of Lin Daiyu, who died from tuberculosis coughing blood, and the next moment, she thought of Lu Zizheng, her Zizheng.
Using the table for support, she imperceptibly stepped back a few steps, creating distance from Director Wang, bit her lip, and nervously suppressed her voice to ask, “If it’s tuberculosis, will it be infectious?” If it’s infectious, what will happen, what about Zizheng, will it… she simply didn’t dare think further.
Director Wang furrowed his brows and said, “If the lungs have no lesions, then it won’t be. But right now, we can’t see the lungs, so we can’t determine if there are lesions on the lungs. We still need to wait for the fluid to be drawn out to know. If the lungs have lesions, a sputum test is needed to determine if it’s infectious.”
Jiang Huaixi’s body couldn’t help but tremble slightly, and her voice was somewhat unsteady: “So, there is still a possibility it could be infectious, right?”
Director Wang looked at her desolate appearance, which he had never seen before, and for a moment couldn’t bear to answer her. He sighed once again, advising: “So, Huaixi, you can’t delay any longer. You should be hospitalized immediately.”
Jiang Huaixi’s knuckles turned faintly blue-white from gripping the table too tightly. After a moment, she stepped back to the other side of the table, shook her head, and said: “Director, please don’t tell my parents yet. In a few days, Huaichuan and Qiao Xin are getting engaged, and I can’t affect their mood at this time. Just wait a few more days, okay?” They have already worried enough about her, and it is rare to have such a joyful event; how could she bear to tell them this news now?
She spoke softly, but Director Wang saw that her expression was serious and determined. Director Wang hesitated for a while, but in the end, he couldn’t refuse Jiang Huaixi and nodded, instructing: “After the engagement banquet, I will notify Director Jiang and the others. You must be hospitalized immediately; it’s already been delayed too long.”
Jiang Huaixi nodded heavily, forced a smile at him, and promised: “Okay, I definitely will.”
Jiang Huaixi didn’t know how she finally left the hospital or how she got to the parking lot. She only knew that when she started the car, preparing to go home, she suddenly regained consciousness and was able to think.
She leaned against the car seat, feeling as if all the strength in her body had been drawn away, leaving her frighteningly powerless. She took out her phone, watching the time pass minute by minute, and finally bit her lip and dialed that number familiar to her heart.
The phone had just connected for not even three seconds when Lu Zizheng quickly answered, obviously having waited for a long time. Thinking of this, Jiang Huaixi’s heart felt even more sour, and tears in her eyes were almost uncontrollably about to fall.
She tried hard to steady her voice, pretending nothing was wrong, and told Lu Zizheng the second lie of the day: “Zizheng, I might be quite late tonight finishing things. It’s closer from here to my apartment, so I’ll go directly there after I’m done. Don’t wait for me to come back, go to bed early.”
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She heard Lu Zizheng’s voice on the other end of the phone, with obvious disappointment, yet still considerately saying to her: “En, okay. When you drive back tonight, be careful, and send me a text when you arrive. It seems to be getting cooler tonight, so take care.”
Jiang Huaixi softly sniffled, and tears finally rolled down as she softly responded to her: “Okay, don’t worry.”
Zizheng, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
Jiang Huaixi hung up the phone, and finally could no longer hold on, leaning on the steering wheel, she cried out loud for the first time, crying so aggrievedly, so broken down, so heart-wrenchingly…
Zizheng, I’m sorry, I became afraid…
Zizheng, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
LP: Re-translated on October 04, 2024