Intimacy
Stolen
Only when she is asleep does one dare to express love.
Lu Yinxi, gazing at Jian Qing’s serene sleeping face for a moment, then lowers her head to kiss her forehead.
Inside her chest, her heart beats fiercely; she fears waking her, so she holds her breath, lightly touching.
One touch, then immediately leaving, observing her facial expression to confirm she hasn’t woken, only then daring to turn around, back facing her, adjusting her emotions.
Finally, the words of love are spoken, even though it is when she is in a deep sleep that they are uttered, yet the seeds of joy still sprout one by one, blooming into a field of flowers in her heart.
Inhale, exhale, and with a simple adjustment of her breathing rhythm, Lu Yinxi turned her body back, now face-to-face with Jian Qing, and secretly, lightly nudged her nose tip.
All the long theoretical analyses about love she had learned were thrown to the back of her mind; at this moment, her heart and eyes are filled only with intimate touch.
Not wanting to wear the eye mask, Lu Yinxi slightly lowered her head, burying it by her shoulder, breathing in her scent, clinging to her as she falls asleep.
Even such brief and tentative touches feel stolen.
Lu Yinxi feels like a truly despicable, shameless thief, clearly unable to promise to be together, not daring to respond to her affection, yet she has unauthorizedly stolen this intimate time.
Not only despicable, but also cowardly.
She doesn’t even dare to think about the future, like a turtle shrinking into its shell, pretending not to know about those future plots, letting those endings all perish in a sea of fire, pretending that the real-world “Lu Yinxi” also perishes in the sea of fire, leaving behind only the Lu Yinxi who longs to stay by Jian Qing’s side.
With bitter and sweet feelings accompanying her, she gradually falls asleep.
The next day, Lu Yinxi wakes up before Jian Qing and prepares breakfast.
Jian Qing, as usual, quietly eats breakfast, occasionally glancing at Lu Yinxi.
After finishing the meal, as she was preparing to go to work, she asked Lu Yinxi: “What are your plans next?”
Lu Yinxi smiled: “The film crew has resumed work. I came early to Ward One to scout locations. These days, I am filming at Ward One. We can have lunch or dinner together when free, and you can come see how we film if you have time.”
Compared to her exposed joy, Jian Qing nodded, expressionless, only twitching her ears slightly, calmly saying: “Then you stay here.”
Lu Yinxi suddenly reached out her hand and pinched Jian Qing’s ear.
Caught off guard by the attack, Jian Qing stepped back, covered her ear, and raised an eyebrow while looking at Lu Yinxi.
Lu Yinxi pointed at her ear and smiled: “It’s greeting me, I saw it.”
“Childish.” Jian Qing lightly flicked Lu Yinxi’s forehead, expressionless, shifted her gaze, blinked twice, and then, as her gaze returned to her, she invited: “Want to go to work together?”
Lu Yinxi shook her head: “That’s not possible. The film crew told us to gather at the hospital’s back door by nine o’clock on a bus. It’s only seven-thirty now, so I don’t go to work that early.”
Jian Qing made an “oh” sound, tied her hair up, and picked up her bag: “Then I’m off to work.”
“Wait—” Lu Yinxi grabbed the corner of her clothing, “I don’t need to work that early, but I need to first go to Ward Two to visit a patient.”
So, we can still go to the hospital together.
Jian Qing responded with a neutral sound, her emotions indistinguishable, simply holding Lu Yinxi’s hand, interlocking their fingers.
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The cause of the fire in the film crew was investigated but not publicly announced; it was caused by a child under 14 playing with an oil gun.
The producer scolded the props team for not managing the props well, but couldn’t hold the child responsible, so they just accepted the misfortune.
To avoid delaying the filming schedule, the scene scouting at Ward One, originally set for mid-April, was moved to early April.
Ward One cleared out one floor of an old building for the film crew to shoot.
This floor was originally an office storing files and other miscellaneous items. The staff is still setting up the scene, while actors who haven’t started filming yet gather together, chatting noisily.
In the corner, some materials that haven’t been cleared out in time are still piled up. Someone picked one up and casually leafed through it: “Did they originally keep personnel files here? There are so many resumes of doctors and nurses.”
Others also picked them up to look, exclaiming: “Wow, so many doctors with PhDs, and even the nurses are graduate school graduates.”
“Not surprising, in this hospital, if you drop a brick, you could hit a bunch of elite university-educated PhDs and graduate students.”
“With such high education, how much can they earn in a year?”
“Maybe just ten to twenty thousand, which is considered a lot. I have a cousin doing training in this hospital who only earns three to four thousand a month, with no rest all year.”
A male actor shook his head, laughing: “That’s still not as much as I make from acting. I only graduated from vocational high school. What’s the use of studying so much?”
Lan Zhou was reading the script and, upon hearing this, raised her head and said: “You’re being narrow-minded. If studying is useless, then when you or your family gets sick, who will treat you? During earthquakes or during the SARS outbreak, if doctors were useless, would sending you, an actor, to the front line be useful?”
The male actor continued winking and laughing: “Sister Lan Zhou, defending doctors so much, have you taken a liking to a doctor? Is it that Doctor Chu?”
Lan Zhou doesn’t put on airs on set, has a good temper, and can get along with everyone; everyone also loves to joke with her.
These days, Lan Zhou and Chu Yan have been getting closer, and during leisure time, everyone plays board games together. They often get paired up, and everyone jokes about their talent and beauty as a perfect match.
When teased about relationships, Lan Zhou doesn’t get angry; she only smiles and advises: “You say studying is useless, but when you submitted resumes to film crews before, didn’t you encounter situations where your resume was discarded? Like me, not coming from a formal background, when I initially sent resumes to film crews, those directors choosing newcomers only cared if they graduated from performance majors. Non-traditional resumes were directly thrown into the trash, missing so many opportunities. Some of you are still in school, so don’t believe studying is useless. Study hard, and don’t abandon your education before becoming famous.”
Sitting next to her, Lu Yinxi silently agrees with her statement.
For ordinary people, education can change a lifetime.
For example, Gu Mingyu, in that era, was a woman with no education from a mountain village, whose life’s outcome could be seen at a glance
— in childhood, supporting and caring for siblings, at ten to twenty years old, marrying a man from the same or a neighboring village, marrying, having children, serving her husband and mother-in-law, with her whole life carelessly written like this.
But Gu Mingyu walked out from that mountain valley, studied from undergraduate all the way to a PhD, crossed from the bottom of society to the middle class, and even influenced future generations.
Lu Yinxi always holds a respect for her.
She was just still thinking about Sangsang’s matter, unwilling to speak more.
Lan Zhou suddenly patted her shoulder: “What’s wrong, not in a good mood today? I haven’t heard you speak.”
Lu Yinxi hesitated for a moment, then answered: “A friend is sick. I went to visit her this morning, and the situation isn’t too good…”
Lan Zhou asked with concern: “What illness? Can I help?”
Lu Yinxi shook her head: “Bone cancer, not many days left.”
Unless there are gods in this world, otherwise, it’s difficult to cure with medicine and stone.
Lan Zhou thought for a moment and said: “I can’t treat illnesses, but our company has established a children’s serious illness relief charity foundation, and I can help families with financial difficulties.”
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In the Oncology Ward Two office, Jian Qing sat by the computer, opened a patient’s imaging examination results, and displayed the lesion while teaching and explaining to Wei Mingming.
After the brief teaching session, she instructed Wei Mingming: “The digestive endoscopy room wants to hire a guiding temp worker. I spoke with the director of the endoscopy room, and Sangsang’s mother can go there. She only needs to work from 8 AM to 12 PM every day. You go and tell her, ask if she is willing to go. Sangsang will next be transferred to the palliative care ward in Ward Three, the cost won’t be high, and the salary will be enough for them to stay here for one or two months.”
Wei Mingming, after taking notes in a small notebook, looked up and asked: “Has the transfer to another ward been communicated, or should I go tell them now?”
Some patients and families have bad tempers and can readily scold or be fierce with people. Persuading patients to be discharged or transferred to another ward can easily cause disputes and arguments, so Jian Qing generally hands these tasks over to Zhang Yue.
“Zhang Yue asked, and they don’t want to return to their hometown; they want to continue staying in our hospital. By the way, you’ve been in the oncology department for a while. Starting next week, it’s your turn to handle those communication tasks.”
Wei Mingming naturally has a baby face, looks youthful, is quite amiable, and is kind to patients and their families. Often, people give her fruits, candies, local specialties, and other small gifts, even red envelopes. Her only flaw is being too soft-hearted, not willing to directly tell patients and their families bad test results. She needs to hesitate and organize her wording for a long time before daring to communicate.
“Okay.” With a superior’s order, Wei Mingming could only nod in agreement, “Then I’ll first go ask Sangsang’s mother if she’s willing to work in the digestive endoscopy room. If she is willing, she won’t need to go out and do odd jobs anymore. Working in the hospital is convenient, and the digestive endoscopy room is close to Ward Three.”
Jian Qing acknowledged with a sound and let her go.
Not long after, Wei Mingming returned with red eyes and softly asked Jian Qing: “Boss, she is willing to go. She said she can work as long as needed, but can she stay in Ward Two for treatment?”
Jian Qing raised her head and refused: “No, that bed will be needed by another patient tonight. Complete the department transfer procedures today, and write the transfer medical record.”
Wei Mingming acknowledged with a sound, turned, and left the office again to go to the ward for communication work.
After prescribing medicine for a patient, Jian Qing hesitated for a moment and also went to Sangsang’s ward to see the situation.
In the ward, the little girl was skinny and bony, lying on the bed, with two lines of clear tears on her face.
Jian Qing walked in, stood at the foot of the bed, and looked at her with a cold gaze.
Sangsang was too weak to speak, only continuously shedding tears, and when she saw Jian Qing come in, her eyes filled with more tears.
Sangsang’s mother, sitting at the bedside, was also wiping her tears. Upon seeing Jian Qing, she knelt in front of her with a thud, kowtowing, tears and snot flowing: “Doctor, please save my daughter! Please save my daughter, don’t give up on her! I will be your ox and horse! If the money isn’t enough, I’ll beg on the streets to get it for you…”
In the ward, other patients and their families, hearing the crying, all looked over. Some old patients, accustomed to it, had numb expressions, while some newly admitted patients saw their own future and couldn’t bear to look.
Wei Mingming turned away to secretly wipe her tears. Jian Qing bent down, helped Sangsang’s mother up, and calmly explained: “It’s not a money problem. We have already done our best, and she has done her best too. Further chemotherapy cannot be endured by her body, and any side effect could be fatal. The palliative care ward in Ward Three is more professional in palliative treatment, with specialized psychological counseling and social worker volunteers. Transferring to Ward Three will provide better humanitarian care.”
Originally, during treatment at the county hospital, the doctor there had only given Sangsang six months of expected survival.
Now, she has far exceeded the survival period and her own expectations.
In the Oncology Ward One and Ward Two of the affiliated hospital, the admitted patients are mostly those who currently cannot undergo surgical treatment but still have hope for treatment and can have their lives prolonged. Beds must be reserved for those with hope. Patients who truly cannot continue treatment can only be advised to return to local hospitals, go home, or transfer to the palliative care ward.
Jian Qing offered a choice: “Now, what can be done is either to transfer to Ward Three or to be discharged.”
These two choices were like a cold and ruthless death sentence. Sangsang’s mother lay on the bedside, holding her daughter, crying until she was out of breath.
Jian Qing thought that, at this moment, she should be resented.
She turned and left the ward. In the corridor, she encountered the daughter of the patient who died after the failed rescue last night, and she stopped.
The family member saw her, and with tears and a trembling voice accused: “I shouldn’t have sent my dad to your hospital for treatment. Maybe at home, he could have lived a few more years, but in your hands, he was gone in just a few months…”
The tone was not very polite, but Jian Qing could not refute anything.
Compared to those causing trouble, disputes can be handled according to rules and regulations. However, when facing hopeless patients’ disappointed accusations, there are no rules to follow, leaving her helpless and only able to silently endure.
She cannot guarantee to cure all cancers, cannot guarantee there will be no adverse reactions after treatment, and she also does not have the time to explain the difficulties of cancer treatment to the families, as there are still patients in the ward waiting for her to attend to.
Busy until noon, Jian Qing withdrew from work, thought of Sangsang, thought of the family’s accusations, and expressionlessly looked out the window, silently processing those negative emotions.
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She didn’t want to carry the negative emotions from work when facing the person she likes, planning to digest all the negativity on her own before going to find Lu Yinxi.
After spending five minutes sorting out her emotions, Jian Qing sent a message to ask Lu Yinxi: 【Where are you?】
Two minutes later, Lu Yinxi replied: 【I’m right in Sangsang’s ward, I’ll come to the office to find you later.】
Jian Qing didn’t reply further, directly got up to go to Sangsang’s ward to meet.
Walking to the doorway, she faintly heard several voices of conversation coming from the ward, mentioning something about a charity foundation and serious illness relief. As she approached the doorway, a female voice said: “Isn’t the doctor too indifferent, driving people away when there’s no treatment value?”
Then a male voice commented: “You’ll get used to it, she’s relatively aloof, even during her internship she had no warmth. But you can’t blame her, there are probably other patients in the group waiting to be admitted for treatment.”
In the ward, most patients and their families had gone to the canteen for lunch, and Sangsang’s mother had taken Sangsang to the restroom.
Chu Yan and Lan Zhou had finished talking about the fund relief matters and suddenly started discussing the doctor’s attitude.
Lu Yinxi heard Chu Yan evaluating Jian Qing like this and couldn’t help but want to refute. Just as she opened her mouth, Jian Qing walked in from outside the door, her cold gaze passed over her, passed over Lan Zhou, and stopped on Chu Yan, calmly saying: “Doctor Chu, gossiping about colleagues behind their backs is not a behavior to be encouraged.”
The author has something to say:
Sorry, I typed about 2000 words early in the morning, fell asleep and forgot to send them out. Took a nap in the afternoon, slept until evening, and then typed another 2000 words. Ahem, you see, combining yesterday and today, on average, it’s still a daily update of 3000~~~