Tumor
This is the oncology department
By 2:00 PM, Jian Qing hadn’t spoken to her for four hours.
At 10 AM, Jian Qing carried a bag of tangerines and went to the piano room to find her.
Lu Yinxi was certain that Jian Qing had come to see her and that the bag of tangerines was for her.
Because just a few days ago, she had mentioned wanting to eat small tangerines, the kind you can eat one after another, and she could eat thirty in one go.
But in the end, Jian Qing gave that bag of tangerines to Granny Zhou and left without even saying goodbye to her, just leaving her with her slender back.
Today, Jian Qing was on second-line duty and didn’t go home for lunch. The duty nurse ordered meals, and the canteen delivered them directly.
The duty staff gathered in the office to eat, and Jian Qing would exchange a few words with others, but she completely ignored Lu Yinxi, not even making eye contact.
Lu Yinxi buried her head in her food, occasionally looking up at Jian Qing.
Jian Qing was not talkative, but she always had plenty of eye contact with her.
In the past, whenever she looked at Jian Qing, she would always intuitively sense her gaze, turn around, and quietly stare at her.
Without saying a word, just quietly looking at each other, she could give her a unique sense of peace.
Now, she was deliberately ignoring her.
She must be angry…
Lu Yinxi vaguely guessed it was because of her own words.
But why should she care about her words?
She dared not think deeply, nor did she want to.
If she had decided to leave, she should restrain all curiosity and the desire to pry, and not overthink her actions and motives.
The more she probed, the more she understood.
The distance between them was just right, no need to go further.
Just assume she was angry because this canary said something she shouldn’t have, offending her dignity, rather than due to some deeper, subtle emotions.
Lu Yinxi lowered her head and sighed softly.
She didn’t want to think deeply, but she wanted to soothe Jian Qing’s emotions.
Just like yesterday, Jian Qing stayed by her side all the time, silently accompanying her, silently comforting her.
During the lunch break, Jian Qing lay on the desk for a nap. Lu Yinxi, like a cat that had done something wrong, obediently stayed by her side, watching her sleep. Eventually, she yawned a few times herself, played a small trick, and used her index finger to hook onto Jian Qing’s sleeve, lying on the desk to nap alongside her.
When they woke up, it was exactly 2 PM, half an hour before they officially started work again.
Lu Yinxi had her coat draped over her.
Jian Qing sat beside her, leisurely peeling an orange.
She lay on the desk, not getting up, inhaling the fresh citrus scent, her eyes fixed on Jian Qing’s slender, fair fingers, unable to look away.
The orange was peeled, and the white threads on the segments were meticulously removed by Jian Qing, making it as clean and smooth as a shelled egg.
The orange segment was brought to her lips, her red lips parted slightly, and it slipped into her mouth.
The faint sound of chewing reached her ears. Lu Yinxi stared at Jian Qing’s red lips, unable to help herself, and mimicked a swallowing motion.
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Noticing that she was awake, Jian Qing lowered her gaze, casting a cold glance in her direction.
Lu Yinxi quickly got up from the desk and hurried to the kitchenette, pouring a large glass of cold water and gulping it down, quenching the heat on her face and the restlessness in her heart.
It’s just an orange, why couldn’t she take her eyes off her?
After drinking two large glasses of cold water, Lu Yinxi walked out of the kitchenette and returned to the office, only to find that Jian Qing was no longer there.
On her desk, there was a plate of peeled tangerines.
The white threads had been meticulously removed, and the segments were neatly arranged on the round plastic plate.
It was obvious who had peeled them.
Lu Yinxi washed her hands, walked over, picked up a segment, and put it in her mouth. The refreshing sweetness of the tangerine spread through her mouth, and her mind replayed the image of Jian Qing sitting beside her, head lowered, carefully peeling the tangerine.
Her heart felt both sweet and bitter.
It felt like stepping onto a floating glass bridge, eating a piece of candy, with sweetness filling the heart and mind. But inadvertently looking down, there was an abyss beneath, causing the heart to start racing again.
At 2:30 PM, doctors, medical students, and patients began to pour into the office, initiating another round of busy and complex tasks.
Jian Qing had not yet returned from her outing, and Lu Yinxi noticed the figure of Old Zhou lingering at the door.
She went out to greet her, “Hello, Teacher Zhou.”
Old Zhou, trying to restrain her anxious emotions, asked, “Dr. Lu, good afternoon. I wanted to ask if Old Zhao’s test results are out?”
Jian Qing had asked her to come to the office in the afternoon. She hadn’t rested at all during lunchtime and came straight to the office as soon as work resumed to wait for the results.
Periodically, doctors need to evaluate the effectiveness of treatment for tumor patients. Based on test results, they measure the size of the tumor and assess whether the disease is progressing, stable, partially remitted, or completely remitted.
Understanding the family’s anxiety at this moment, Lu Yinxi calmly said, “I’ll check it for you.”
She logged into the doctor’s workstation using Jian Qing’s account and began to review the test reports for Old Zhao in bed 24 one by one.
Two years ago, The First Affiliated Hospital of Jiangzhou implemented an electronic signature system, fully digitizing medical records. All diagnostic and treatment processes are managed in a closed-loop, paperless workflow. Doctors no longer carry medical record folders during rounds; instead, they carry iPads.
“The routine test results for blood count, blood biochemistry, and tumor markers are out, but the chest CT results are still pending. The closed-loop management system shows that it has reached the senior doctor’s review stage. At most…” Lu Yinxi estimated based on her experience, “at most, it will take another hour to get the report.”
“Another hour…” Old Zhou stared intently at the computer screen, her eyes filled with anxiety. “So, can we tell if the results are good or bad now?”
Lu Yinxi saw that the tumor marker test sheet showed significant increases in the CEA and CA125 levels. After hesitating for a moment, she shook her head. “No, we need to rely on the imaging results. The doctor needs to view the scans to determine if the tumor has grown or shrunk.”
(LP: CEA (Carcinoembryonic Antigen) and CA125 (Cancer Antigen 125) are common tumor markers used in diagnosing and monitoring certain types of cancer.)
“These past few nights, Old Zhao has been sleeping poorly, constantly feeling dizzy and vomiting… I’m just afraid, afraid that the tumor has metastasized to other parts… It’s been two years… we’ve held on for two years… I’m scared of what might happen next, what bad news might come…”
Lu Yinxi was slightly taken aback.
In her impression, the elderly lady in front of her had always been the epitome of grace and composure, not as exuberant as Old Zhao, always courteous and calmly accompanying the treatment and check-ups.
To see her so panicked was unexpected.
Lu Yinxi looked at the computer screen and saw that, in addition to the chest CT, Jian Qing had also ordered a brain MRI.
Is she suspecting brain metastasis?
Brain metastasis from lung cancer is common in late-stage lung cancer patients, typically presenting as dizziness, headaches, and projectile vomiting.
Lu Yinxi tried not to reveal too much emotion and comforted the elderly lady, “Teacher Zhou, we will only know everything once we have all the test results. Teacher Zhao is in good physical condition and has a positive mindset. We need to have faith in her.”
“Thank you. I’ll come back later…” Old Zhou forced a smile and left with her head lowered.
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Lu Yinxi watched her leave, her steps unsteady.
Cancer torments not only the patient but an entire family, especially those closest to the patient.
In the hospital, one can witness the warmth and coldness of human relationships, the fickleness of the world, and genuine affection in times of hardship.
Lu Yinxi recalled her visit to bed 24, where she practiced asking Old Zhao about her medical history, only to be drawn into a long conversation about Old Zhao’s family matters.
Old Zhao mentioned that she was a local from Jiangzhou, had a second husband and a stepson in a neighboring city, neither of whom had visited her since she fell ill. Accompanying her were only her old colleague and neighbor, Old Zhou, who had been by her side for decades. Sometimes, so-called romantic love and family bonds are not as reliable as a sincere friendship with a neighbor.
When she was young, her parents and elders always warned her that a woman must marry and have children, so she would have someone to rely on in old age and sickness.
Little did they know, devoted parents have always been common, but who has seen truly filial children and grandchildren?
Jian Qing returned from a consultation in the thoracic surgery department and encountered a classmate from medical school, now working in pediatrics, while in the elevator.
The two greeted each other, and Jian Qing stared at her pocket, asking, “Do you still have candy?”
Pediatricians always keep candies in their pockets to comfort children. They are the most good-tempered and gentle doctors in the hospital—those who lack patience either switch careers or get harassed by patients’ families.
“Yes, I do.” The pediatrician smiled and pulled out a handful of candies. “Who would have thought that you like candies? Is this what they call an unexpected charm? We have plenty in our department, feel free to come by anytime if you like.”
Jian Qing politely thanked her.
She didn’t actually like candies.
Only snot-nosed kids like candies.
Back in the office, Jian Qing opened Old Zhao’s brain MRI results and clearly saw the lesion in the temporal lobe.
Her team of doctors gathered around to look. “Brain metastasis?”
Jian Qing was silent for a moment, then nodded and said, “She has been with me for two years…”
The air grew heavy; no one wanted to see this outcome.
Stepping into the oncology department, not only do the patients have psychological expectations, but the doctors and nurses are also aware of the reality. There is rarely a cure here; more often, they witness patients’ slow struggles and eventual passing.
Zhang Yue lowered his head and said, “Yes, she’s been treated here for two years. Just the day before yesterday, she was talking about finding me a wife.”
Wei Mingming looked a bit dejected, “Sigh, it feels like we can’t save anyone…”
Zhao Wenqian pointed to the red slogan on the wall, “See that? ‘Sometimes to cure, often to help, always to comfort.’ That’s what oncology is all about.”
Zhang Yue said, “Her family is quite heartless; they haven’t visited her even once.”
Zhao Wenqian replied, “My mom keeps urging me to get married and have kids, saying that I’ll need someone to take care of me when I’m old. Tsk, marriage isn’t necessarily a safe haven. It’s better to maintain good relationships with friends; they might be the ones to help you out in critical times.”
Jian Qing shook her head, “It’s better to earn more money.”
The ability to withstand risks can only be provided by oneself; it can’t be relied upon through any personal relationships.
Before anyone else could speak, Jian Qing calmly said, “Wei Mingming, go call Teacher Zhou over.”
Old Zhou was called to the doctor’s office while Lu Yinxi sat by Old Zhao’s bedside, continuing to listen to her introduce potential matches for her.
After a bit of joking around, Old Zhao suddenly said, “Xiao Lu, I want to die.”
Lu Yinxi was startled, and she held Old Zhao’s hand in return, gently comforting her, “Don’t think like that. Teacher Zhou would be very upset.”
“It’s because I’m afraid she’d be upset that I don’t say it in front of her. Please don’t tell her…”
Lu Yinxi held her hand tighter, “Alright, I won’t say anything. You can tell me anything that’s on your mind if it makes you feel better.”
Old Zhao smiled, her wrinkles bunching up, “Let’s continue talking about my student. He’s really young and promising, with a good character. It would be a pity if you missed out on him…”
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Lu Yinxi couldn’t tell if the elderly woman in front of her was genuinely optimistic or just putting on a brave face because others didn’t want her to be downcast.
When Teacher Zhou returned, Lu Yinxi gave them some space and got up to go back to the office.
Jian Qing must have returned as well.
She wanted to see Jian Qing but was also afraid to see her. Walking along the wall, she moved very slowly.
Walking through the oncology ward, one could see a lot of sorrow.
In the ward, there were patients with stomach cancer who had their entire stomachs removed. They couldn’t eat a thing, lying there feeling heartburn and acid reflux, and could only sit on the hospital bed all night; there were patients with advanced liver cancer, their faces sallow, legs swollen, emaciated to the point of being skin and bones, no longer looking human but like skeletons draped in human skin; there were patients with lung cancer, full of tubes, with no hope of treatment, and doctors were already discussing with family members whether to give up resuscitation during the next emergency…
All those petty emotions vanished into thin air at this moment.
In the face of life and death, all human emotions become incredibly insignificant and incredibly precious.
Even throwing a tantrum is a sign of life’s vitality.
Eating, walking, breathing fresh air—these most ordinary things are unattainable luxuries in the eyes of some.
At the corner of the corridor, she suddenly bumped into a soft embrace.
Lu Yinxi took a step back and looked up, seeing that indifferent face. Her body reacted faster than her mind, immediately moving closer, shamelessly wrapping her arms around her waist, and softly speaking, “Dr. Jian, please don’t be mad at me anymore.”
