We’re going home
After returning from Baiwu Ancient City, Xiao Wanqing informed her neighbor who helped her get into the school in advance. She told him that she was preparing to leave the city and submitted her resignation letter.
Since Xiao Wanqing started working, her neighbor, the old principal, could clearly see the outstanding academic performance of the class she substituted for. Although he was deeply reluctant to see her leave, he realized that he couldn’t persuade her to stay and expressed his regret before readily agreeing. He did not want to make things difficult for Xiao Wanqing.
In the days leading up to her departure, Lin Xian and this neighbor had encountered each other a few times, exchanging polite nods. Before she left, Lin Xian took the initiative to suggest formally visiting them, just in time for the upcoming Spring Festival to bring some gifts and thank them for taking care of Xiao Wanqing these past few years. Xiao Wanqing had also prepared some gifts as a formal expression of gratitude and farewell, but she hadn’t expected Lin Xian to anticipate this level of thoughtfulness. In the past, Lin Xian would never have thought of doing so.
During the visit, Lin Xian was polite, generous, and composed in her speech and demeanor. Learning that Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing worked at the same school and both pursued work related to writing, they even had seen the TV drama adapted from her written work, which the old principal highly praised. Xiao Wanqing watched Lin Xian reveal a mature side she had never seen before to others, feeling a mix of contentment, pride, and admiration.
During her stay in Yiping, the neighbor’s family would prepare dumplings and snacks and always send a portion over. Their grandson, a chubby and clean boy of about five or six years old, was quite fond of Xiao Wanqing. Whenever they brought something over, he would seek out Xiao Wanqing, hugging her legs and asking her to pat his head before finally playing for a while and then reluctantly returning home.
Every time Lin Xian saw the sticky little appearance of the boy, she couldn’t help but feel jealous. In order to protect her wife, she had to step forward to divert the child’s attention and play with him.
Lin Xian was quite skillful in dealing with children. Through some interaction, the child became familiar with her and obediently called her “sister.” However, Lin Xian was not satisfied with this and playfully made the child call her “aunt” instead. Xiao Wanqing watched on the side, feeling helpless yet indulgent. She had never heard of someone being satisfied with being called “aunt” before, let alone being unsatisfied with being called “sister.”
Occasionally, Lin Xian would play games with the child – one big and one small, sitting cross-legged on the carpet, knees facing each other, heads leaning together, engrossed in building puzzles and stacking blocks. Xiao Wanqing would quietly watch nearby, her eyes gentle and calm like water.
After playing for a while, Lin Xian couldn’t help but glance at Xiao Wanqing to feel at ease. Occasionally, when the child successfully completed a puzzle and sought praise from Xiao Wanqing, Lin Xian would childishly show jealousy, prompting Xiao Wanqing to also praise her. As Xiao Panpan watched their playful interactions, a different kind of longing seemed to surface in her warm and gentle eyes, exuding an excessive tenderness. Lin Xian’s whole heart was devoted to Xiao Wanqing, slowly realizing her feelings and secretly cherishing them.
Preschool holidays were earlier than those of middle and high schools. The parents of the children took time off work and planned to take their children on a trip abroad during this pre-New Year period. By the time they returned, Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian should have already returned to Anjiang City.
For their final meeting, Xiao Wanqing bought the child many toys and stationery, personally seeing him off with great solemnity. She ruffled his soft hair, advising him to listen to his grandparents in the future, not to come home early after school, to eat well, and to grow up properly.
At night, after Xiao Wanqing had finished showering and returned to the room with her hair half-dry, Lin Xian was flipping through something on her tablet. Seeing Xiao Wanqing come in, she smiled, lifted the covers, got off the bed to get a hairdryer, and then sat next to Xiao Wanqing, kneeling behind her. As they chatted, Lin Xian gently and meticulously blow-dried Xiao Wanqing’s hair.
Once the hair was dry, Xiao Wanqing, feeling tired from sitting, unconsciously leaned back into Lin Xian’s embrace. Lin Xian’s lips curved into a smile, she set aside the hairdryer, sat up straight, hugged Xiao Wanqing’s waist, making her more comfortable.
With the warmth and fragrance in her arms, Lin Xian’s heart was overflowing with something. She affectionately rubbed her nose against Xiao Wanqing’s soft and fragrant hair, then suddenly whispered to Xiao Wanqing, “Panpan, let’s have a child.”
It came out of nowhere, and Xiao Wanqing was taken aback. But the girl’s embrace was too gentle, the pleading tone too tender, and Xiao Wanqing couldn’t help but feel soft-hearted.
She turned her body, nestling affectionately in the girl’s embrace, resting on her delicate shoulders, and gently asked Lin Xian, “Why did you suddenly bring this up?”
Lin Xian touched Xiao Wanqing’s cheek and softly said, “Panpan, you really like children, don’t you?”
Xiao Wanqing’s eyes shimmered for a moment, but she remained silent.
In truth, rather than saying she really liked children, it would be more accurate to say she enjoyed watching Lin Xian play with children. Those scenes were so heartwarming and beautiful. She could sense that Lin Xian actually liked children as well. Although she loved amusing the kids, she also unexpectedly displayed patience and gentleness. Thus, she sometimes couldn’t help feeling guilty and regretful.
Seeing Xiao Wanqing’s silence, Lin Xian took it as her consent.
A smile graced Lin Xian’s lips as she continued, “Actually, I used to not like children before. Whether or not to have children was not important to me. But I enjoy seeing the soft side you reveal when interacting with children, it melts my heart too.”
“Panpan, I used to always think that women sacrificing to have children for men was too great, and why some girls willingly and foolishly choose to have children early, tying up the best years of their lives for men. But now that I have this desire to give birth to a baby Xiaowan for you, I understand that when it comes to love, one willingly gives themselves up. Children are not born for the other person, but for oneself, out of sincere love and desire for the one they love.”
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The girl’s face seemed to be enveloped in a soft, mature glow, exuding tenderness and charm. Xiao Wanqing’s heart was moved and touched. She lifted her head to kiss Lin Xian’s lips and emotionally murmured, “Xianxian, I know your intentions, I understand. Actually, I don’t like children that much either, but because of you, I have fantasies, regrets, and I think it would be nice to have a cute and beautiful child like you.”
She bit her lip shyly, “Xianxian, can we discuss this matter slowly and make plans after we return and settle down? Besides, you are still young, even if we decide to have a child, let me take the lead.”
This was a big decision, and Lin Xian was still young. Xiao Wanqing didn’t know if she was impulsive or really prepared to have a child and raise one. Moreover, Lin Xian was currently in the rising period of her career and somewhat a public figure. Xiao Wanqing didn’t want Lin Xian to sacrifice her career, nor did she want Lin Xian to potentially face criticism from others in the future.
Lin Xian knew that this was a serious matter, and Xiao Panpan was accustomed to being thoughtful and considerate. It was impossible to make a decision based on just a few words. She just wanted Xiao Panpan to know that she had this idea, this desire, and this determination. Details could be discussed thoroughly in the future.
She turned her head and kissed Xiao Wanqing tenderly, causing Xiao Wanqing to gradually relax and moan softly as she leaned back. She released her hold, allowing Xiao Wanqing to fall weakly onto the soft bed.
She lovingly gazed at the charming and shy Xiao Wanqing, leaning over to gently kiss her cheek and whisper, “No, Xiao Panpan, I will bear the child. I don’t want you to go through so much trouble. And I want a daughter just like you, to pamper her and accompany her as she grows up. I really, really want that.”
With that, she straightened up, grabbed the hem of her pajamas, and effortlessly removed the oversized t-shirt that reached down to her legs. The dim, warm light shone on her exquisite, fair-skinned body, causing Xiao Wanqing’s throat to tighten and her face to blush in an instant.
Lin Xian once again leaned over, looking at her lover with eyes filled with tenderness as if they were about to drip with water, yet also filled with heat and a wave of emotion. She licked Xiao Wanqing’s ear and teasingly whispered with a seductive tone, “Moreover, Panpan, where do you think I’m lacking?”
Xiao Wanqing shivered as Lin Xian licked and nibbled on her, her long lashes fluttering like small fans, filled with shyness and affection as she softly murmured, “I don’t…”
Lin Xian chuckled lightly, then leaned beside Xiao Wanqing, her slender arm wrapping around Xiao Wanqing’s waist, holding her tightly as she kissed her again and continued, “So, I’m not lacking in any way? Then let me take charge. Panpan, from the decision to have a child to the settlement of the child after birth, even to education in the future, I have thought it all through. Don’t worry, this isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. I have considered and reflected on it for a long time. In our country, our family setup may be considered unusual, but with you as a great mother and our love as two moms, I am confident and determined to raise our child to be healthy and happy just like any other child.”
Lin Xian’s expression was sincere, calm, and every word was precious, showing that she had carefully thought and considered this decision. Xiao Wanqing’s heart felt warm and bittersweet, as she hugged Lin Xian back, feeling warm and secure.
She didn’t argue with her anymore, half-praising and half-admiringly murmuring, “Xianxian, you think so far ahead.”
Lin Xian noticed Xiao Wanqing’s wavering emotions, her relaxation, and the return of a bit of childlike innocence. She chuckled softly, “Of course, I’ve even thought of a name.”
“Hmm?”
“Surname Lin, named…” Lin Xian proudly shook her head.
Before Lin Xian could finish her sentence, Xiao Wanqing interrupted her, laughing, “Clearly, you married me, so why should the child take your surname?” She wasn’t actually concerned about this issue, as the child’s surname didn’t matter to her; they were both her precious babies. She just couldn’t resist teasing Lin Xian when she saw her looking so pleased and cute.
Upon hearing this, Lin Xian’s bright eyes flickered, slightly squinting as a mischievous smile appeared on her lips. She got up, propped herself up with her hands, half-kneeling and pressing Xiao Wanqing beneath her, slipping her leg between Xiao Wanqing’s thighs, playfully asking, “Why do you say that?”
Xiao Wanqing gazed at Lin Xian, attentive and affectionate, as if Lin Xian was her entire world. She reached out, using her thumb to caress Lin Xian’s enticing lips, a faint smile playing on her lips as she pretended innocence, “I don’t know.”
Lin Xian held onto Xiao Wanqing’s finger and gently nibbled on it with her pearly white teeth. She lowered herself, her long hair brushing against Xiao Wanqing’s beautiful face, their lips and tongues intertwining as she smiled seductively, “Tell me to tell you why.”
Her heart was filled with tender affection, wanting to make Xiao Wanqing happy, wanting to tell Xiao Wanqing: Xiao Panpan, you deserve all the best. And I will strive to grow into a towering tree, giving you everything you desire – the most obedient child, the most stable life, the most comfortable home.
One week before the Spring Festival, Xiao Wanqing packed up everything in Yiping’s area, estimated the delivery time, and sent it back to Anjiang City. Then, she didn’t bother about the extra rent and penalties, terminated the lease, and flew back to her hometown with Lin Xian.
For a full six years, Xiao Wanqing hadn’t set foot in this city, and everything was no longer as she remembered.
The airport had expanded, and as Xiao Wanqing disembarked the plane, she walked around, taking in the drastically changed surroundings. She looked at the completely different constructions all around and felt a sudden wave of sadness, remarking, “Everything here has changed.”
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Lin Xian held the suitcase with one hand and held Xiao Wanqing’s hand with the other. Seeing Xiao Wanqing feeling a bit low, she gently touched the back of her hand and said warmly, “But nothing has changed about you.”
Turning her head to look at Xiao Wanqing, she placed their intertwined hands over her heart, her eyes sparkling like stars, and teasingly reassured her, “Your Lin Xian, our home, have not changed.”
Xiao Wanqing locked eyes with Lin Xian, feeling the subtle heartbeat of the girl beneath her hand, and finally, she smiled gently. Before she could say anything more, a familiar yet magnetic female voice sounded from nearby, “Xiao Xiaowan…”
Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian turned towards the voice and saw Wen Tong wearing a wool coat, one hand resting on the railing, the other in the pocket of her suit trousers, smiling slightly at them.
She had matured even further, her figure still upright and commanding, but with a deeper sense of grace and calmness, reminiscent of the elegance and composure seen on Shi Jinglan’s body. Yet, within the deep and sharp features, there was still the familiar soft and playful look that Xiao Wanqing remembered when Wen Tong treated her friends.
Xiao Wanqing looked at her, her eyes suddenly moist. She and Lin Xian quickened their pace to greet Wen Tong, and for the first time, they stood in front of Wen Tong with such warmth, opening her arms.
Wen Tong’s gaze met Xiao Wanqing’s, her eyes still smiling, but a hint of glistening tears suddenly appeared. She reached out, embracing Xiao Wanqing, unable to hide her excitement and longing any longer, somewhat choked up as she complained, “I waited for you both, and the first thing I see is you two being all lovey-dovey. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you? Stop dawdling like this.”
Xiao Wanqing chuckled sheepishly, patting her back in apology, “My bad, I made you wait too long.”
Wen Tong let out a light “hmph,” smelling the comforting familiar scent emanating from her friend. Her lips slowly curved into a smile as she finally said, “All the bad is in the past, Xiao.”
Lin Xian pouted, watching Wen Tong holding onto Xiao Wanqing and not letting go, couldn’t help but tease, “Aunt Wen, how long do you plan to occupy my lover? I might get jealous.”
Xiao Wanqing and Wen Tong both laughed, then released each other’s hands. Wen Tong squinted her eyes playfully and teasingly threatened, “You, Lin Xiaoxian, planning to sabotage the bridge after crossing it? Do you want to walk back by yourself?”
Lin Xian, seemingly afraid, latched onto Xiao Wanqing’s arm, looking pitiful as she coquettishly pleaded, “Panpan, you wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”
Xiao Wanqing boldly pinched Lin Xian’s nose and affectionately said, “I wouldn’t, don’t worry.”
Wen Tong, pretending to be exasperated, shook her head, her tough words betraying a soft heart. She grabbed Lin Xian’s luggage from her hand, turned around, and grumbled, “Hurry up, we’ll hit traffic if we’re late.”
Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian followed with smiles on their faces.
Because Wen Tong felt that Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian had just returned home after a long absence, there must be a lot to talk about and many things to do. Therefore, after Wen Tong accompanied them to Xiao Wanqing’s building entrance, she politely declined Xiao Wanqing’s invitation and tactfully chose not to go upstairs with them.
Understanding her friend’s intentions, Xiao Wanqing did not insist, and Wen Tong, even more straightforward, made plans to come over for a meal in two days. She specifically instructed Xiao Wanqing to personally cook for the occasion, to which Xiao Wanqing agreed with a smile.
Standing at the doorstep of their long-lost home, Lin Xian handed over the key and gently signaled Xiao Wanqing to open the door. Xiao Wanqing took the key, and her hand inexplicably trembled slightly. Pinching the key with her fingertips, she inserted it into the lock, and in a moment of reverie, it almost felt like she was holding the key to unlocking her own destiny.
Seeing her hesitate, Lin Xian reached out and lightly grasped her delicate hand, applying a bit of pressure together.
The gears meshed and turned gently, silently rotating, moving the icy metal block and the indifferent passage of time.
The door clicked open with a crisp sound, and Xiao Wanqing tilted her head to look at the girl’s gentle face, as if she could hear the shackles of fate that had bound her finally falling with a resounding clang…
Everything in the house was indeed as Lin Xian had said, unchanged, just like when she had left. Lin Xian had kept it well.
She had lived alone in this house for nearly ten years, while Lin Xian had lived alone for six years. It witnessed their youthful years, their journey from innocence to maturity, and also witnessed their meeting and parting.
Xiao Wanqing lovingly touched the countertops, sofa, paintings, and the phonograph in the house, standing by the French window and gazing at the gradually descending red sunset between the buildings outside, her eyes turning slightly red.
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The evening breeze lifted the white curtains on either side, ruffling Xiao Wanqing’s seaweed-like long hair. She faced the warm red light, her lips forming a gentle curve. Lin Xian watched as Xiao Wanqing stood enveloped in the crimson light, her long hair swaying in the breeze, her graceful figure captivating under the setting sun, her eyes unwavering.
Xiao Wanqing seemed to sense something and turned towards her, smiling back.
As if transcending time and space, like a dream…
This scene, this one smile, she had waited for it for so long, so long… So long that she was afraid she might never see it again in this lifetime.
It felt like something was flowing in her heart, making it moist. Unable to hold back, she embraced Xiao Wanqing from behind, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist, squeezing tighter as if wanting to ardently feel the presence of the warmth in her embrace.
After enduring bitterness, she rested her chin on Xiao Wanqing’s shoulder and suddenly felt both aggrieved and happy. Crystal tears streamed down her cheeks as she choked up and whispered, “Panpan, we’re home.”
Tears welled up in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes and spilled over in an instant.
She turned around, embracing the girl’s frail yet warm and dependable body, gently kissing away the tears on her face, whispering softly, “Yes, we’re home now.”
“Xianxian, I finally have a home.”