Okay, I’m leaving
Lin Xian took heavy steps down the stairs and, upon exiting the elevator and turning into the lobby, saw Zhou Qin bending over, struggling to catch her breath while holding on to a roadside tree not far from the building.
A sense of worry surged in Lin Xian’s heart, as she quickly hurried out. She grabbed Zhou Qin’s arm, anxiously saying, “Mom, what’s wrong? Let me take you to the hospital.”
Upon hearing Lin Xian’s voice, Zhou Qin’s heart, which had cooled along the way, finally warmed up slightly. However, she still maintained her composure, weakly pulling away the arm supported by Lin Xian, coldly saying, “What relationship do you and I have? There’s no need for you to go through the trouble.” With that, she walked away, swaying as she moved forward.
“Mom!” Lin Xian called out in frustration.
She reached out and hooked Zhou Qin’s arm, guiding her towards the parking area ahead, with a mixture of urgency and anger, “Can’t you be a bit reasonable? Are you happy to cut ties with me?”
She looked at her pale-faced mother, furrowing her brows with concern, “When did you come over? Have you been staying up late every day working on your paper? Have you had breakfast? Don’t you realize you’re not young anymore and your health isn’t as good as before?”
Zhou Qin stiffened, listening to Lin Xian’s slightly reproachful tone mixed with evident care, her heart gradually softening. She subtly glanced at Lin Xian, who was now taller than her by a lot; at some point, her youthful face had faded, replaced by maturity that was indescribably charming.
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This was her most cherished daughter, born into the family’s anticipation, nurtured with their love and efforts, the child who had been raised with so much hardship and care in her hands – how much disappointment and heartache she felt for her was matched by her love.
Could she really abandon her without concern? Zhou Qin knew it was impossible. She pursed her lips, finally ceasing her struggle, allowing Lin Xian to help her into the car in silence.
Zhou Qin was clearly not in a condition to drive now, so Lin Xian had her sit in the passenger seat. She glanced back at the building where Xiao Wanqing was barely visible, took a deep breath, clenched her teeth, got in the car, started the engine, and drove out of the residential area.
On the road, Zhou Qin rested with her eyes closed against the seat, her complexion showing a slight improvement. Lin Xian focused on driving, unintentionally replaying in her mind the moment when Xiao Wanqing unexpectedly slapped Zhou Qin, displaying shock, grievance, and sadness – it cut deep into her heart. She would rather those slaps were on her own face. Zhou Qin’s intense reaction caught her off guard. And of course, the messy outing they found themselves in was beyond her expectations.
Everything was in chaos, diverging from the path they had set.
Clutching the steering wheel tightly, Lin Xian glanced at Zhou Qin, unable to hold back her soft but stern questioning, “Mom, you went too far just now. No matter what, how could you resort to physical violence? Haven’t you always taught me that a true gentleman settles things with words, not fists? Using violence is the crudest and most incompetent behavior.”
Upon hearing Lin Xian’s straightforward questioning, Zhou Qin abruptly opened her eyes, and the previously calmed emotions began to fluctuate rapidly again. While she acknowledged her mistake in resorting to such behavior, upon some reflection, she also realized she had lost control of herself. Yet, if she were to be honest with herself, who could remain composed and rational upon seeing their daughter, whom they had entrusted to a friend’s care, ending up in bed with that friend?
Moreover, it wasn’t just the shock of Lin Xian’s homosexuality that shook her, but also the blow of betrayal from Xiao Wanqing hurt her deeply. She had treated Xiao Wanqing sincerely, believed in her wholeheartedly, how could she hurt her like this? It was a double blow, one that almost led her to lose all sense of reason.
Moments later, she realized she had misjudged people, as she had entrusted Lin Xian to Xiao Wanqing. Not knowing when Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing began their relationship, she felt completely oblivious and the thought of countless intimate encounters between them left her breathless with disgust and a reflexive urge to vomit.
“I went too far? Lin Xian, isn’t what she did with you excessive too? Tell me, how should I treat someone who seduced my underage daughter? Should I thank her, smile, and bless you two?” Zhou Qin gritted her teeth, her voice hoarse and biting.
Angrily defending herself, Lin Xian retorted, “Mom, don’t speak so harshly. What seduction? What underage? I am an adult, and our relationship is mutual and consensual. Even if there was any seduction, I initiated it. Don’t wrongly accuse her.”
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Zhou Qin, infuriated by Lin Xian’s unwavering defense of Xiao Wanqing, felt her anger rise even more. It’s like her mind was completely clouded!
“When I entrusted you to her, were you an adult? Do you really understand anything? Have you ever liked anyone from childhood to now? All those feelings and love, weren’t they all taught by her? How old are you, and how old is she? You were young and naive, does that mean she was too? She called me ‘sister,’ you called her ‘aunt.’ You are her junior; she watched you grow up. Even if she needed help, she shouldn’t have targeted you. If she dares to shamelessly do such things, why shouldn’t I call her out?” Zhou Qin struggled to breathe, speaking vehemently. Her mind felt foggy, as if she might lose consciousness the next second, unable to maintain composure or reconsider her actions.
Lin Xian is only 19 years old, not even 20 yet. How could Xiao Wanqing dare, how could she bear to cross boundaries with her, how could she act so irresponsibly and without principles or boundaries.
Upon hearing Zhou Qin’s disrespectful words towards Xiao Wanqing, the suppressed anger in Lin Xian finally erupted. She raised her voice in rebuttal, “Mom, please don’t use these dirty thoughts to judge others, can you be fair? I’ll say it again, it was me who started it, I initiated it, I liked her first, I confessed my feelings first, I forced her to accept me, even if there’s blame, all the blame falls on me!”
“Is it my dirty judgment, or her dirty deeds?” Zhou Qin retorted, her chest heaving vigorously. “Lin Xian, I’m not saying you’re blameless, but as an elder, she should have guided you correctly, instead of making mistakes with you over and over again, that’s her mistake.”
Watching Lin Xian facing her with unwavering determination, tears welled up in Zhou Qin’s eyes, and for the first time, she reached out and grasped Lin Xian’s arm in confusion. Exhausted from the argument, she spoke weakly and hoarsely, “Lin Xian, you can’t continue like this, I can’t bear to watch you head towards a dead-end. Do you know how people will gossip about you behind your back, how they will judge you and our family in the future? Next semester when you study abroad, I’ll quit my job and go with you. Let’s start fresh in a new environment. I don’t want you to blame me in the future for not helping you.”
“I’m not going!” Lin Xian firmly refused. She looked at her mother who claimed to be doing this for her own good, but never truly considered her feelings, her throat aching with pain.
The red light came on, and Lin Xian slammed on the brakes, turning her head to look at Zhou Qin with disappointment in her red eyes. She coldly remarked, “Mom, are you afraid of me being a lesbian and embarrassing you, embarrassing our family? What’s more important to you, your reputation or my happiness? Do you think what’s good for you is always good for me?”
Her mind overwhelmed with various grievances, memories of past dissatisfaction flashed through her mind like a carousel, fueling her resentment further. “From childhood to now, it’s always been the same. You only let me do what you think is right, what you think I can do. You never once thought if those things are really what I like to do, if they make me happy. I have no choice, I can only carefully navigate within the limits you set for me. From elementary school to now, all my choices were arranged by you. Can’t you give me a little freedom? Why do you have to control my life like this? I have my own path now. Even if it’s wrong, even if I fall and bleed, I accept it willingly. Rest assured, the road I choose, I will walk it, even on my knees, without regret, without shifting blame.” In the heat of the argument, words flew out, and Lin Xian only realized afterwards the hurtful words she had spoken.
“Lin Xian, is this what you think of me? Do you hold such deep resentment towards me?” Zhou Qin sniffled, as if heartbroken to the extreme, with a self-deprecating bitter smile. It’s futile. She coldly withdrew her hand from Lin Xian’s arm and said, “So be it. You can only choose between our family and Xiao Wanqing.”
“Mom, why are you forcing me like this?” The green light turned on, cars behind honked impatiently at the unmoving Lin Xian. Lin Xian, frustrated, tapped the steering wheel and drove off, her voice trembling as she questioned Zhou Qin.
“You’re the one forcing me,” Zhou Qin replied, her eyes half-closed, drained.
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Tears blurred Lin Xian’s vision. She raised a hand to wipe her eyes, then looked deeply at Zhou Qin and turned her head, insisting firmly, “I cannot leave her. Mom, she only has me, it was me who started this, I promised to be with her until the end. I’m sorry, I cannot live the life you want me to lead.”
“So you don’t want me and your father anymore, is that it?” Zhou Qin stared at Lin Xian with tear-filled eyes, her back teeth clenched tightly, squeezing out this questioning statement from her throat.
Large tears streamed down Lin Xian’s cheeks as she spoke, “It’s you who don’t want me.” She sniffled, bitterly self-deprecatingly saying, “Go ahead and have another child, maybe she will be more obedient.”
Zhou Qin was so angered by Lin Xian’s last words that her chest ached. She almost couldn’t catch her breath, her face pale, she sternly said, “Fine, Lin Xian…fine…you…go down! I don’t need you to see me off.”
Lin Xian bit her lower lip tightly, her gaze fixed on the nearby hospital, her fingers clenched tightly. After a moment of silence, she replied with a heavy tone, “Okay, I’ll leave. Let’s talk when we’ve both calmed down a bit.” With that, she accelerated the car, parked it by the hospital entrance, unbuckled her seatbelt, opened the door, left a quick “Take care of yourself,” and then got out of the car. With a click, she shut the door, walking away without looking back.
But she didn’t walk quickly, consciously listening to the sound of the cars behind her.
A few seconds later, she seemed to not hear Zhou Qin closing the car door and starting the car. Lin Xian furrowed her brow, feeling uneasy. Just as she was about to turn back, she heard a commotion from the crowd behind her, “Hey, hey, hey…”
Feeling a sudden panic, Lin Xian immediately turned around. As she looked beyond the surrounding people, she saw her mother, as if she had just opened the car door and stepped out, one hand still on the car door, but her whole body collapsed on the ground, motionless.
“Mom…” Lin Xian’s mind raced as she ran forward, shouting in alarm.