Amusing Ourselves to Death Arc
Agent 18
“Show me this scene as if I were X,”
“Alright.”
Qin Yuyan nodded, closed her eyes, and prepared her emotions.
When she opened her eyes again, she had transformed into a different person.
A woman stood at the entrance of the shop, casting a brief glance at the sun, which was about to set. It was now late afternoon, and closing time was approaching.
She lazily yawned, reached for a cigarette from the counter inside, placed it between her lips, but didn’t light it. Instead, she stared into the empty distance, her eyes filled with emptiness.
Footsteps approached from a distance, and she glanced over to see an unfamiliar guest. Quickly, she set aside the unlit cigarette and swayed her hips, mustering a seductive smile as she went to greet him.
“Sir, you seem unfamiliar. Is it your first time here? Foot massage or full-body massage?”
She threw a flirtatious glance at the man, carrying a suggestive undertone.
The man looked at her with a complex expression, and finally let out a sigh, calling her name in a hushed tone.
Her smiling face froze as she recognized the person before her. In an instant, a glimmer of light surged in her eyes, but it was fleeting, extinguished almost immediately.
It was unbearable, too unbearable.
She wished she could dig a hole and hide herself in it right away, never to appear in front of people again.
The moment of panic and confusion was fleeting, and her joy was immediately suppressed by hatred.
She blamed him for leaving without a word, blamed herself for needing him not to be by her side. But no matter how much she blamed, so many years had already passed.
Though only a minute had passed, it felt as if half a century had gone by.
All emotions had faded into indifference. She raised a hand to adjust her hair, then turned and walked back into the shop.
Qin Yuyan completed her turning motion, shook her head to break character, turned around, and looked at Xin Lan.
“Is it not quite right?”
Actually, today was one of her better performances, where she could find that feeling.
“The expression you recognized was played quite well, but it was a bit too intense, no big deal, as long as you can maintain that feeling. As for the smile earlier, it was just too beautiful.”
(Originally translated on littlepandatranslations.com, let's go!)
“Too beautiful?”
“Look at me now; you’re X.”
Xin Lan stood up, placing the script on the sofa.
Originally, she had her head tilted, but when she heard someone approaching, she immediately turned her head.
The originally hollow and indifferent demeanor disappeared, replaced by a seductive smile directed at the newcomer.
However, anyone could see the fatigue on her face. While she smiled, there was a momentary flash of impatience and disgust in her eyes, so quick that it was hard to catch.
“Sir, you seem unfamiliar. Is it your first time here? Foot massage or full-body massage?”
She said these words naturally, as if she had said them a million times.
Her voice carried a sickening sweetness, like sugar that had melted into a nauseating form under the sunlight.
Women in places like this are considered the lowest in the pecking order.
With dirty alleys, pink lights emitting a cheap aura, and a crooked, worn-out sign hanging overhead, a few women sat on small sofas inside. This had been her life for so many years.
You look at her while she’s smiling, but you feel dirtiness and hopelessness.
Qin Yuyan understood and realized why Xin Lan had said her smile was too beautiful.
“I understand now. I’ll practice it again later.”
Qin Yuyan nodded and suddenly had a question.
“Ah Lan, with your excellent acting skills and good looks, why didn’t you become a celebrity and instead chose to be a manager?”
Qin Yuyan could easily perceive Xin Lan’s seasoned acting skills, which were on par with the industry’s veterans. She was also attractive. If she pursued a career as an actress, she would have become famous long ago.
“I’m not interested in acting.”
Xin Lan’s acting skills were, of course, honed over time, and she could handle any role effortlessly. It just depended on whether she was willing to maintain her public image.
As long as it doesn’t collapse and affect the world order, it doesn’t matter much.
Xin Lan said so, and Qin Yuyan naturally didn’t need to inquire further.
In fact, being a celebrity might not necessarily be better than being a manager. Everyone has different pursuits.
With a script in her mind and ideas forming, Qin Yuyan’s tense nerves relaxed a bit. She suddenly felt hungry.
She had been immersed in the script since the morning, and without realizing it, it was already three in the afternoon, and she had only eaten a bit of bread to stave off her hunger.
“I’m going to prepare some food. Ah Lan, would you like to eat?”
“I’ve already eaten. Haven’t you had lunch?”
Qin Yuyan shook her head.
“That won’t do. You should remember to eat on time next time. Speaking of which, I’m preparing to arrange some assistant work for you. I’ll start with one, and when you become too busy to handle it all, we’ll add more. Is that okay?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll go along with however you arrange it.”
“Do you have any specific requirements for the assistant?”
“Not really, just someone safe and reliable.”
“Alright, I’ll pick someone and have them meet you tomorrow.”
With that, it seemed there was nothing more to discuss.
The air fell silent for a moment, and Xin Lan remained quiet as Qin Yuyan silently observed her.
The sunlight bathed the room, and the flow of time suddenly slowed down.
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Qin Yuyan’s gaze added a touch of warmth and ambiguity to the atmosphere.
In that moment, Xin Lan didn’t think of anything else; she just silently locked eyes with Qin Yuyan.
Perhaps after a minute had passed, Qin Yuyan was the first to break the silence.
“Do you have something to attend to later?”
“There shouldn’t be much going on.”
It was a rare and leisurely afternoon for Xin Lan, as all the necessary arrangements had been made, and she didn’t have anyone to worry about under her supervision. She had contacted everyone she needed to. It was a time she could freely enjoy.
“How about staying here for afternoon tea?”
“Sure.”
After all, it wasn’t far from her home, just a few steps away. Having afternoon tea here and then going back would be very convenient.
Seeing Xin Lan’s agreement, Qin Yuyan cheerfully went to arrange the ingredients.
“You can freely explore my house if you’re interested.”
Qin Yuyan poked her head out from the kitchen, wearing a radiant smile directed at Xin Lan.
Xin Lan nodded and glanced at the house’s decor.
Qin Yuyan’s house had the same layout as hers, just mirrored, but due to different interior decorations, it appeared distinctly different.
The previous owner’s house had a more common European design, grand and beautiful but somewhat cold.
Qin Yuyan’s home was clearly meticulously decorated, with a forest theme that exuded a cozy and warm ambiance.
Xin Lan went to the balcony, which was filled with potted plants, including flowers, greenery, and succulents, giving it a lively appearance.
Xin Lan found herself quite fond of it. People who were good at creating a pleasant living environment always gave off a good vibe.
She walked to the other side from the balcony, and the door to one of the rooms was open. Through the open doorway, Xin Lan could see a corner of a bookshelf, indicating that it was likely a study.
The study wasn’t very large, but what made it unique was that one of its exterior walls had been removed and replaced with glass, providing a view of the outside scenery bustling with the hustle and bustle of city life.
The other three walls were lined with bookshelves. The bookshelf on the side where the door was narrower, and in the center, there was a large comfortable armchair. It was easy to imagine that Qin Yuyan usually sat in that armchair, basking in the sun while reading a book. Just thinking about it felt comfortable.
Xin Lan left the study after a while and took a tour of Qin Yuyan’s home. She only ventured into the study and didn’t intrude into the other rooms.
After her inspection, she could only say that Qin Yuyan knew how to make herself comfortable. Finally, as she passed by the kitchen, she found Qin Yuyan busy inside, wearing an apron, and the air was filled with the aroma of cream.
Good-looking, talented, from a good family, and able to cook – it seemed there was nothing to fault in Qin Yuyan, like a true goddess.
Thinking about how a person like this had been let go by Shen Yun in the original plot, she couldn’t help but feel a bit of regret.
But this time, she was the one she liked.
Xin Lan thought, feeling strangely pleased for a moment, but that pleasure was fleeting and quickly vanished.
In the original plot, Qin Yuyan and Shen Yun ended up together, but liking her didn’t yield any results.
Xin Lan gazed out the window, momentarily lost in thought.
Zero Nine: Host, what’s wrong?
Zero Nine inexplicably sensed that Xin Lan seemed a bit down, and with a hint of concern, she asked while sitting with her legs crossed.
Xin Lan: Huh? Nothing.
It was just some emotions that were not well-known and not meant to be shared with outsiders.
As for whether anyone pursued her in the villain’s world, Xin Lan couldn’t actually remember anymore. Even her original world felt a bit blurry.
She had long forgotten the faces of her comrades, and even her mother’s face had become blurry during her constant journey.
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Sometimes, she would be puzzled, not sure who she was in which period of time.
The continuous fading of her memories during her travels was not just because those memories were unpleasant reminders of the villain’s world that could affect her personality. It was also because she wanted to remember who she was.
Amidst the constant jumping, the initial novelty had faded away completely. It wasn’t that she found it uninteresting, but occasionally, when lying on the so-called bed in the real world, she would contemplate the meaning of the actions she was taking.
Was it for the sake of eternal life, to live on forever?
Was it for the sake of experiencing different worlds, different lives, and meeting different people?
Or was it for the sake of those original hosts?
It was probably a combination of all three.
At least Xin Lan felt that facing off against the protagonists was more interesting than being in the antagonist’s role. Occasionally changing her environment was also quite nice.
She had heard about the Destiny Department, a department specifically for being the main character… Xin Lan’s thoughts drifted further and further until Qin Yuyan’s voice brought her back.
“I suddenly remembered that I made frozen yogurt cheesecake this morning. Have some now, and I’ll bring you the pudding once it’s done baking.”
“Don’t you want to have something to eat first?”
Xin Lan noticed the cheesecake on the dining table and thought about how Qin Yuyan hadn’t eaten lunch yet.
“I’m making pasta; it will be ready soon.”
Qin Yuyan picked up Xin Lan’s coffee cup and placed it next to the cheesecake.
Xin Lan took her seat, looking at the delicate and petite cheesecake in front of her. The thick layer of yogurt cheese on top appeared exceptionally delicious. On this sunny afternoon, it exuded a unique charm.
Using a small silver spoon, Xin Lan scooped up a small piece and savored it, squinting her eyes in enjoyment.
Qin Yuyan was busy in the kitchen, like a diligent little bee.
In the past, when she cooked for herself and made desserts, it was always a pleasant and relaxing experience. But now, her mood was even better, tinged with anticipation.
She gazed at Xin Lan seated at the dining table, and the curve of her smile grew larger.
Cooking for someone you love is simply too blissful.
Even if that person is unaware of your feelings, it feels like floating on a cloud, weightless.
She unconsciously hummed a song, a cheerful English one.
The song reached Xin Lan’s ears, and she turned her head.
Qin Yuyan was busy cutting something and soon brought a plate.
It was a plate of coconut milk pudding, a white cuboid enveloped in coconut flakes, swaying in the plate, much like the owner carrying it—sweet and tender.
I’m so hungry rn