Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 35
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Sheltered by a palace maid’s umbrella, Yao Xi reached the covered corridor before the main hall. At the entrance, she patted the rainwater from her clothes, straightened the official’s hat the wind had knocked askew, and scraped the soles of her shoes clean on the steps. Only after tidying herself from head to toe did she bow her body and enter the hall.
The Empress Dowager was seated at the writing desk directly opposite the main doors. Hearing the sound, she glanced up, swept her eyes over Yao Xi, then coldly retracted her gaze.
“What are Your Majesty’s orders?” Yao Xi asked, kneeling in salute. She completely failed to notice Yuanqian-gugu standing beside the Empress Dowager, staring at her with simmering resentment, nor did she smell the thick scent of jealousy that saturated the air.
Hmph. So he really does have some looks.
For the first time, Yuanqian took a careful look at Yao Xi. Not only were his features exquisitely crafted, but he also possessed a rare, fine complexionβskin so fair and tender, with a rosy blush, that it looked like you could squeeze water from it. His figure was slender and delicate, cutting a pitiable figure that inspired affection. It wasn’t that Yuanqian had never imagined that she and Tang Huaili might one day part ways. After all, given his position, he was surrounded by power and temptation.
She just never, ever thought she would end up losing to a eunuch!
Wan Bi was holding a brush, making entries in a ledger.
She had three ledgers. One for the profits and losses of businesses like the Wanfu Silk Manor; one for the deposits and withdrawals of her private treasury; and the most important one, her Yama’s Ledger,1 which recorded how much silver every civil and military official in the court had taken from her. Why was it Yama’s Ledger? Because those who took her silver were all expected to pay it backβand pay it back double, pay it back until their families were ruined.
She had people outside the palace managing the business accounts and people in Ning’an Palace managing her private treasury. But as for that Yama’s Ledger, Wan Bi trusted no one. She had always managed it herself. Not even Yuanqian knew the full contents of that book.
Just a moment ago, Wan Bi had been chatting with Emperor Ming Cheng. As they talked, she had somehow been reminded of her deceased family, and her mood had soured. She had a peculiar habit: whenever she felt down, she would find something to do. Diverting her attention to other matters seemed to keep the sadness at bay. That was why she had taken out the ledgers to check them, entry by entry. She also had to add supplementary notes on who had been sent silver in the fourth month.
Wan Bi glanced over and saw that Yao Xi had returned, but she did not put down her brush. “How good of Gonggong to return so early. Did Princess Longyi not keep you for supper?”
The moment Yao Xi heard this, she knew this old ancestor was furious. She gave a placating smile. “This slave is always thinking of Your Majesty. Seeing the wind and rain, I feared there might be some task at Ning’an Palace, so I dared not linger at Her Highness the Eldest Princess’s palace.”
“Always thinking of this bereaved one? I doubt it.” Wan Bi set down her brush and picked up a nearby silk paddle fan to wave at the still-wet ink on the ledger. “I hear,” she said, her tone laced with acid, “that Gonggong presented Princess Longyi with a gift.”
The fact that the little castrated donkey had given Longyi a gift left a sour taste in Wan Bi’s mouth. Who was it that had saved the little castrated donkey from Beauty Yu? Who had brought the little castrated donkey back to the palace and away from that tyrannical eunuch Liao in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens? And Longyi? What had she done? Given him a bit of wine to drink?
Fine! The little castrated donkey loves to drink, doesn’t he? In that case, Wan Bi snorted inwardly, this bereaved one will reward you by the vat! Let’s see if you don’t drink yourself to death, you little castrated donkey!
“This slave was grateful to Her Highness the Eldest Princess for the wine she bestowed upon me at Wangyue Pavilion that day, so I sent her a small item to express my thanks. But this slave is even more grateful for the Empress Dowager’s immense grace and virtue⦔ Yao Xi’s heart ached as she spoke. “Actually, this slave also prepared a humble gift for Your Majesty, but I feared you would disdain it and have not dared to present it.”
Farewell, my pure gold paperweights! Yao Xi was truly loath to part with them.
That little bit of gold was nothing to the Empress Dowager, but to her, it was a fortune! Now all she had to her name were the ten taels of silver Princess Longyi had given her.
Sob, sob, sob⦠Saving up silver to leave the palace is so hard!
With great reluctance, Yao Xi took the carefully wrapped pair of paperweights from her robes and presented them with both hands. When Yuanqian-gugu came to take them, Yao Xi’s hand, as if possessed, tightened its grip, unwilling to let go. Yuanqian-gugu mercilessly snatched the item away, unwrapped the paperweights from the handkerchief, and passed them to the Empress Dowager.
This pair of paperweights was for appreciation and handling, not for actually holding down paper. They were crafted from pure gold and were only the size of an index finger. When Wan Bi took the little things, she didn’t even consider that they might be paperweights. She had pure gold paperweights of her own, but they were the size of folding fans.
And so, her imagination limited by her wealth, Wan Bi asked innocently, “Why are you giving this bereaved one a pair of chopstick rests?”
They weren’t chopstick rests! “Replying to Master,” Yao Xi explained, “this is a pair of ornamental paperweights. This slave heard that Your Majesty is skilled in calligraphy and painting, and I figured you must already possess paperweights of every material. I thought this little pair was rather unique, which is why I had the idea to present them to you.”
“Mm.” Wan Bi’s expression softened slightly. The little castrated donkey had put some thought into it. And while the gold used to cast this pair might be nothing in her eyes, for a slave like him, it was a considerable sum. For him to be willing to give her something so valuable, he must be truly grateful to her.
Satisfied, Wan Bi toyed with the paperweights. She vaguely saw something engraved on them. Pulling the candle closer for a better look, she saw a line of poetry carved into each one.
The left one read: In this world, there is a love that makes one foolish
The right one read: A sorrow that has no cause in wind or moon2
It was one thing for the little castrated donkey to give her a gift. But what was the meaning of these two lines of poetry? Could it be that the little castrated donkey was secretly in love with her?
A flicker of anger, of being offended, rose in Wan Bi, but then she felt that it was only natural for the little castrated donkey to have such thoughts.
She could only blame herself for being so devastatingly beautiful.
Besides, although the little castrated donkey was a eunuch, he didn’t look like one in the slightest. He was handsome, with clear eyes. Being admired by someone with such looks wasn’t a bad feeling at all. And so, Wan Bi’s small bit of anger slowly dissipated.
Yao Xi, kneeling on the floor with her head down, was still mourning the two lumps of gold that the Empress Dowager had suddenly snatched away. She abruptly remembered the two lines of ambiguously suggestive poetry that Zheng Dayun had carved on them. Yao Xi’s head shot up. “This slave bought these paperweights ready-made from a gold and silver shop,” she said, trying to salvage the situation. “They had all sorts of poems carved on them. This slave is unlettered and just picked a pair at random. If I have offended Your Majesty, I beg you not to hold it against this slave.”
Yao Xi was so frightened she forgot all about the pain of losing the gold. Her Majesty must not misunderstand and think I have other intentions!
Wan Bi’s expression was one of perfect understanding. Yo! Dares to do it but not to admit it? On second thought, it made sense. A mere little eunuch, daring to harbor feelings for the reigning Empress Dowager? He must be tired of living. Wan Bi had no desire to expose Yao Xi’s youthful crush. A person’s feelings weren’t something they could control, after all. In the end, the little castrated donkey had not offended her in either word or deed; he was merely admiring her secretly in his heart. Wan Bi couldn’t be bothered to make an issue of it. Plenty of people admired her; one more little castrated donkey made no difference.
In fact, a little castrated donkey who admired her would be even more fun to tease. A smile touched Wan Bi’s lips. She had just thought of some more amusing tricks.
“That pile over there is what some eunuch from the Directorate of Ceremonial had someone bring for you. Go take a look,” Wan Bi said, smiling as she watched Yao Xi’s every move. She wondered what reaction her adoring little castrated donkey would have when he saw that other eunuch’s confession of love.
A eunuch from the Directorate of Ceremonial? Who else could it be but Zheng Dayun? “Yes.” Yao Xi rose and walked over to the pile of gifts. She gave them a cursory glance and picked up the letter.
Wan Bi wore the expression of someone watching a play. Seeing Yao Xi pick up the letter, she couldn’t help but think: If the little castrated donkey knew this letter had been licked by me, he would probably treasure it in his robes for the rest of his life. Poor little castrated donkey, poor eunuch from the Directorate of Ceremonial, poor palace maid from Zhongling Palaceβ¦ Wan Bi shook her head in schadenfreude. This feeling of being at the top of the chain of affection really wasn’t bad.
Just like in the past, when countless women had loved the Late Emperor, but the Late Emperor had loved only her. And she⦠she had loved no one.
Yao Xi had no desire to know what Zheng Dayun had to say after what he had done. She was even more afraid that the Empress Dowager might, out of a whim, order her to present the letter. Yao Xi took the letter, tore it to shreds, and tossed the pieces into the nearby charcoal brazier.
Thank goodness it was a stormy day. The air in the room was damp, and the Empress Dowager had ordered the braziers to be lit.
Yuanqian watched as Yao Xi tore up Tang Huaili’s letter with a look of disgust, and the bitterness in her heart intensified. So it was Tang Huaili who was making unrequited advances. A sense of injustice was now mixed in with her sorrow and pain. The man she had cared about for half her life was nothing in someone else’s eyes. Yuanqian felt that Tang Huaili had not only debased himself, but had debased her along with him.
Yao Xi truly wasn’t afraid of death. Not only had she repeatedly caused great trouble in front of the Empress Dowager, but she treated Tang Huaili with this attitude as well. Perhaps this was what it meant to be spoiled by favor. Yuanqian stared hatefully at Yao Xi, who had torn Tang Huaili’s heart to pieces and thrown it into the fire.
“Why didn’t you read it?” Wan Bi was convinced the little castrated donkey’s action was a deliberate show of loyalty to her. A pity. Since he hadn’t read the letter, he wouldn’t know that the eunuch from the Directorate of Ceremonial would be waiting for him in the peach grove tonight. And she would miss out on a good show.
“Replying to Your Majesty, there was nothing worth reading.” Yao Xi glanced at the pile of gifts on the floor. She had to return them to Zheng Dayun. To accept someone’s things while feigning ignorance of their intentions would be too shameless. But she was afraid to go to the Directorate of Ceremonial alone, afraid that Zheng Dayun would try something again. She didn’t hate Zheng Dayun, but she was scared of him. She had thought that with his scholarly upbringing, he would be a man of self-control.
She never expected that even without his lower body, a eunuch still couldn’t control himself.
I’ll deal with it later, Yao Xi sighed internally. With this storm, there was no way she was going out today anyway.
“Yuanqian, set out the wine. It’s chilly today. Yao Gonggong has such a high tolerance for alcohol, have him accompany this bereaved one for a couple of pots!” Wan Bi said with a smile.
Yao Xi came back to herself just in time to hear “a couple of pots.” Two pots? Her tolerance was terrible! She passed out after a single cup!
“Your Majesty, this slave tends to speak nonsense after drinking. I’m afraid I might unintentionally offend you.” She was afraid that if she got drunk, she might accidentally reveal all her secrets. Yao Xi had never been blackout drunk in either of her lives. She didn’t know what she would do if she drank too much. Would she run her mouth? Or would she act out? Either one would be a death sentence in front of the Empress Dowager.
Wan Bi smiled smugly. Nonsense? The little castrated donkey is afraid he’ll speak the truth in his cups, isn’t he? “Doesn’t Gonggong love choosing between the task and death? Then this bereaved one asks you: will you drink, or will you die?”
“Drink,” Yao Xi said weakly, moving to stand by the table. Without Her Majesty’s command, she dared not sit.
Yuanqian-gugu, as if she had a personal vendetta against her, placed a tiny, thumb-sized wine cup in front of the Empress Dowager, and a large, rice-serving porcelain bowl in front of her. A very large one. What was even more outrageous was that Yuanqian-gugu poured for Her Majesty from a small pot of pale liquor that smelled like water, but for her, she poured from a large vat of strong spirits that smelled pungent even from a distance.
Judging by the way Yuanqian-gugu was pouring her wine, Yao Xi felt for a fleeting moment that she wasn’t in Ning’an Palace, but on Mount Liang with the heroes of the Water Margin.3
Wan Bi also glanced at Yuanqian with satisfaction. This was truly the tacit understanding of a master and servant of ten years. She hadn’t even given an order, and Yuanqian had already done exactly as she wished.
“Please, Gonggong,” Wan Bi said with a smile, raising the tiny cup between her fingertips.
“Your Majesty, please!” Yao Xi cried internally as she lifted the great porcelain bowl, wider than her own face.
Footnotes
- Yama (ιη YΓ‘nwΓ‘ng) is the king of the underworld in Chinese mythology. His ledger is said to record the sins of every soul. Here, it refers to a blackmail book.
- These two lines are from a famous poem, βTo the Tune of Yulou Chun,β by the Song dynasty poet Ouyang Xiu. They speak of a deep, intrinsic love or sorrow that is not caused by external circumstances, often interpreted as a lament for unrequited love.
- An allusion to the classic Chinese novel βWater Marginβ (ShuΗhΗ ZhuΓ n), which features a band of 108 heroic outlaws on Mount Liang (LiΓ‘ngshΔn) who are famous for their camaraderie and prodigious drinking, often from large bowls rather than small cups.
0 Comments