Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 34

by Little Panda

The Empress Dowager is So Wicked

“You’re crying?” Wan Bi watched Emperor Ming Cheng cover his face. Through the roar of the thunderstorm, she could faintly make out what sounded like sobs. She had seen the Emperor cry countless times, but usually only after drinking. This was the first time he’d cried sober. Wan Bi’s heart instantly softened. The miserable sight of him awakened something called maternal instinct, and she regretted having been so cold just now. She knew perfectly well that she was the only one he could talk to about his troubles, yet she always treated him with a look of disdain and impatience.

Wan Bi reached out to take his hand, wanting to comfort him. But as soon as he felt her touch, Emperor Ming Cheng flinched back violently. “Empress Dowager, maintain your decorum!”

He wasn’t crying. He was covering his face simply because he was too ashamed to face her, too ashamed to face his imperial father and all his ancestors.

But what was done was done. He had to face it, whether he wanted to or not, and figure out what to do next. To be honest, Wan Bi’s calm reaction had greatly surprised him. For something so terrible to have happened, yet for her to still seem so carefree… Wasn’t a young, unmarried virgin¹ supposed to feel sad or angry after being violated? From what she had said, it had happened more than once, and she had kept it from him all this time.

Emperor Ming Cheng was suspicious. Perhaps Wan Bi didn’t understand the implications of what had happened. The girl had, after all, never experienced relations between a man and a woman.

“Wan Bi,” Emperor Ming Cheng said, composing himself. He felt there were some things he needed to make clear to her. “In terms of age, We could be your older brother. Your family met with tragedy when you were young, and you entered the palace so early. There are some things no one may have ever told you. We are a few years your senior, so We have no choice but to speak with you about them.”

“Older Brother?” Wan Bi’s expression was frigid. She treated the Emperor as if he were her own son,² and he had the nerve to see her as a younger sister?

Emperor Ming Cheng nodded. He had watched Wan Bi grow up and truly thought of her as one of his own. That was why he felt so guilty and helpless about what had happened. It wasn’t that he lacked for women—even if every woman in the world died, he would rather make a move on a man, even on Tang Huaili, than touch Wan Bi.

To him, Wan Bi wasn’t a woman. She was family.

“There are some things you are old enough to know…” Emperor Ming Cheng found it difficult to broach the subject. How was he supposed to say this? Matters between men and women were either learned on one’s own or taught before marriage. But if he didn’t teach Wan Bi, no one else would tell this foolish girl. He gritted his teeth. “Relations between a man and a woman… you understand what that is, don’t you?”

“…” A sudden unease flickered in Wan Bi. She shifted her chair back half a step and watched the Emperor’s strange expression with wary eyes. Why is he suddenly talking about this? That bastard isn’t getting ideas about me, is he? A chill ran through Wan Bi. She narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you trying to say?”

“It’s just that while relations are between a man and a woman, the Empress Dowager and We cannot engage in them…” Emperor Ming Cheng said, his heart aching. “For that sort of thing to happen, it is of course Our fault first. We have wronged you. But you should also reflect on your own attitude. Why didn’t you tell Us sooner? And how can you be so nonchalant about it? We understand you must feel lonely and empty, and We are the only man in the palace…”

Emperor Ming Cheng paused, then said, “Empress Dowager, you should take a male favorite!”³

What the hell? Wan Bi had no idea what was going on. “Your Majesty, are you saying that this bereaved one, in her loneliness, should not get any ideas about you?”

How big was the Emperor’s face!⁴ She would get ideas about anyone before she got ideas about the Emperor. He was the son she had practically raised! And he even had the gall to suggest she take a male favorite. The Emperor was truly a model of filial piety.

“Let us both forget about the matter of Us offending the Empress Dowager while drunk…” Emperor Ming Cheng decided to give up drinking from this day forward. The mere thought of it now gave him chills.

“Offending this bereaved one?” Wan Bi was thoroughly confused. “You just pour out your troubles to this one. It’s annoying, yes, but it hardly counts as an offense!”

“Pouring out my troubles? You’re saying the thing We always do when drunk is pour out Our troubles to you?” Only then did Emperor Ming Cheng understand. They had been talking back and forth for ages, but they hadn’t been talking about the same thing at all.

“What did you think it was?” Wan Bi recalled what he had just said, and her expression suddenly turned uglier than ever before. “His Majesty truly underestimates this bereaved one. If you dared to act improperly towards this one while drunk, this one would not be afraid to commit treason!”

Emperor Ming Cheng nodded, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Yes, yes. As long as nothing happened, all is well.” He had nearly been scared to death. But Wan Bi was really something else, always speaking in riddles. He had assumed it was that kind of thing, which couldn’t be spoken of plainly. What was so hard about just saying she was tired of his nagging? She usually cursed him out like he was her grandson, so why was she being so polite now?

“When Your Majesty first arrived, you said something was troubling you. What is it?” Wan Bi wanted to see if she could help.

Emperor Ming Cheng’s mood had been on such a rollercoaster that he had completely forgotten his original troubles. He thought for a moment before saying, “It’s about silver again. The funds for the river embankments were just allocated, and now the civil and military officials, like dogs who’ve smelled meat, are submitting all sorts of memorials asking for more silver.”

“Oh.” Wan Bi picked up her teacup and toyed with it, saying lightly, “Leave this matter to this bereaved one.”

“The Empress Dowager is going to extort…” Emperor Ming Cheng felt that “extort” wasn’t quite the right word, but he couldn’t think of another one. He could only ask, “Who are you going to get the silver from this time?”

“From no one,” Wan Bi said. “The silver obtained from the officials is just claimed by them again under various pretexts. It just goes in a circle, and in the end, the silver falls back into their hands. Your Majesty must remember, if you want to fill the national treasury, you must abide by one rule: easy to get in, hard to get out. As for matters that truly require funding, don’t be vague about how much is needed. If it’s not enough, ask the State Uncle for it. The Zhu family is far wealthier than you or I imagine.”

The thought of the Zhu family made Wan Bi’s hands itch. It wasn’t that she wanted their silver so much as she was intensely curious about just how much they had. She had demanded two hundred thousand taels from the Zai County Magistrate and five hundred thousand from two merchant families. The magistrate had been bled dry and had to risk his life falsifying reports, while the two merchant families had barely scraped the amount together with jewelry and jade.

Only Lord State Uncle had prepared three million taels of silver overnight. Wan Bi didn’t want to blackmail him again. She wanted to raid the Zhu family home, just to see for herself how deep their coffers really were.

“Right,” Wan Bi said, her expression suddenly shifting from serious to smiling. “Was Your Majesty serious about letting this bereaved one take a male favorite?”

“You may. But We must approve him. The palace is a restricted area where men are not allowed to enter or leave. If you truly wish to keep one, it can only be at a Temporary Imperial Palace. The Empress Dowager can visit every few days.” Emperor Ming Cheng’s seemingly absurd suggestion wasn’t meant to humiliate the Late Emperor, nor was it out of disregard for the Feng family’s reputation. With Wan Bi’s notoriety, nothing she did would surprise the ministers or the common people. He genuinely felt for her; it would be good for the young woman to find a suitable man and experience life.

After all, isn’t the point of living to experience all the states and flavors the world has to offer?

“This one thanks Your Majesty for your kind intentions. However, in life and in death, this bereaved one belongs to the Late Emperor. This one will not do a single thing to wrong him.” Wan Bi said this because she truly had no interest in keeping a male favorite. More than that, she feared it was a trap. Perhaps the moment she agreed, Emperor Ming Cheng would slap her with a litany of accusations—for not abiding by the wifely way,⁵ for being unfaithful to the Late Emperor, for defiling and bringing chaos to the imperial court⁶—and she would be completely duped.

Belongs to the Late Emperor? You can lie to a ghost,⁷ but you can’t lie to me. The disbelief was written all over Emperor Ming Cheng’s face.

It was just past noon, but the rain outside was falling harder and harder, making the sky as dark as night. Emperor Ming Cheng gazed at the downpour, which fell in sheets outside the palace doors, and sighed. “The rainy season has arrived just like that. I wonder if there will be enough time to build the river embankments.”

Wan Bi stared at Emperor Ming Cheng’s profile, at his face full of worry about the country and its people,⁸ and at the fine lines between his brows from constant frowning. She said, lost in thought, “It is the people’s great fortune to have a monarch such as Your Majesty.”

Emperor Ming Cheng turned his head and smiled at her. “And it is Our great fortune to have a relative such as the Empress Dowager.”

“Your Majesty, could you call this bereaved one ‘Mother Empress’ for me? Just once,” Wan Bi said earnestly.

“Why?” Emperor Ming Cheng asked with a faint smile. He never understood why Wan Bi was so fixated on this, always wanting to hear him call her Mother Empress. How could he bring himself to say it to a girl younger than him?

“Empress Dowager is just a title. Mother Empress is what you call family,” Wan Bi said, her expression suddenly crestfallen as she lowered her gaze. “Your Majesty is the only family this bereaved one has left.”

“Nonsense. You also have a whole flock of grandsons and granddaughters who call you Imperial Grandmother!” For some reason, seeing Wan Bi like this made Emperor Ming Cheng’s heart ache. He rarely saw her this way. She shouldered so many burdens for him, and in front of others, she was always so willful and carefree, as if she feared nothing and cared for nothing.

“But I must first be Your Majesty’s Mother Empress before I can be their Imperial Grandmother!” Wan Bi sighed deeply.

Emperor Ming Cheng opened his mouth, thought for a moment, and swallowed the two words back down. “We must get back to Our work.”

“Mm,” Wan Bi said, looking down, lost in thought, and didn’t watch him leave.

After a thoroughly refreshing bath, Yao Xi came out only to discover that the weather had turned. At high noon, thunder was rolling and rain was pouring down. The wind was so strong it nearly knocked her off her feet.

Princess Longyi saw that she was still a little drunk and looked as if she were so weak she could not withstand the wind,⁹ so she ordered someone to hold an umbrella and escort her back to Ning’an Palace.

Yao Xi had only been drinking at Princess Longyi’s; she hadn’t eaten much of anything substantial to line her stomach. Back at Ning’an Palace, seeing that it was still mealtime, she decided to head to the Dining Hall to see if there were any leftovers she could make do with. The food at Ning’an Palace was far better than at the Bureau of Imperial Gardens. Yao Xi had eaten her fill during the food tasting the previous night, and this morning she’d had to eat the food from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens’ Dining Hall. Of course, it couldn’t compare to the masters’ exquisite delicacies, but it was still a great deal better than what she was used to.

But before she could even make it to the Dining Hall, she was stopped by one of the Empress Dowager’s personal palace maids.

“HER MAJESTY COMMANDS THE EUNUCH TO ATTEND HER IN THE HALL!!!!” the palace maid yelled, holding an umbrella. The thunder was too loud; it was impossible to converse at a normal volume.

Yao Xi used all her strength to yell back, “I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!!!!”

Footnotes

Original: huánghuā dà guīnü (黄花大闺女). An idiom for a young, unmarried virgin. The ‘yellow flower’ refers to a cosmetic style from the Southern Dynasties period where women would apply yellow powder to their foreheads, a fashion associated with unmarried girls.
Original: shì rú jǐ chū (视如己出). An idiom describing a deep, parental-like affection and care for someone who is not one’s biological child.
Original: nánchǒng (男宠). A male lover, often of a lower social status, kept by a powerful individual, male or female. The term can be translated as ‘male favorite’ or ‘catamite’.
Original: duō dà liǎn (多大脸). A colloquial expression literally meaning ‘how big is your face,’ used to question someone’s audacity or shamelessness.
Original: bù shǒu fùdào (不守妇道). A traditional concept of proper female conduct, encompassing chastity, modesty, and obedience. To violate it was a serious social transgression.
Original: huìluàn gōngtíng (秽乱宫廷). A very serious accusation, implying a moral failing that threatens the stability and sanctity of the imperial court.
Original: piàn guǐ (骗鬼). An expression for telling a lie so blatant that not even a ghost would believe it.
Original: yōu guó yōu mín (忧国忧民). An idiom for being patriotic and deeply concerned with the welfare of the nation and its populace.
Original: ruò bù jìn fēng (弱不禁风). An idiom describing someone who is extremely delicate or frail.

Footnotes

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