Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 18

The Empress Dowager is Terrifying

Daybreak arrived.

Yao Xi hadn’t slept a wink, tormented by fear all night. It wasn’t the fear of being discovered by Liao Bing. Rather, she had spent the entire night listening to the wooden bed creak every time he turned over. She was constantly worried that the fragile bed planks would suddenly collapse, and the dead-pig-heavy Liao Bing would fall through and crush her to death.

            

Looking on the bright side, though, there was a benefit: she was so immersed in this anxiety that she didn’t feel the least bit sleepy.

“Bing-ge, we’ve searched the entire bureau, but we can’t find the kid.” The eunuchs who had accompanied Liao Bing to her room last night returned one by one.

Liao Bing had only just woken up. He first moved his injured leg off the bed, then stood up with his crutch. “Did you ask the night-duty guards at the gate? Did they see Yao Xi leave?”

            

“We asked. The guards said only the two who were kept behind by Concubine Li to help came back in the middle of the night. No one else has entered or left.” The eunuch who spoke was still panting, clearly having spent the night searching thoroughly.

Liao Bing didn’t believe that with Yao Xi’s small frame and injured foot, he could have climbed a wall to escape. He raised his crutch and pointed at the wardrobe in the room. “Open the wardrobe. Maybe he’s hiding in the room!”

Yao Xi’s heart leaped into her throat, and her body instantly went rigid. Fortunately, this feeling of dread didn’t last long. The footstool in front of the bed was violently dragged away by Liao Bing. He bent down to look under the bed, and Yao Xi’s large, clear black-and-white eyes met his astonished gaze.

            

Both of them froze.

Liao Bing’s expression seemed to say: Are you fucking kidding me? We slept one above the other all night and I had no idea?

Yao Xi’s expression seemed to say: You can’t see me, you can’t see me, you can’t see me.

            

Liao Bing was crippled, not blind. He straightened up with a cold smile and said to the men rummaging through the wardrobe, “Stop looking. He’s under the bed.” Liao Bing sat back down in his chair and addressed the curled-up Yao Xi. “If you know what’s good for you, come out on your own. You’re not leaving this room alive. Beg this master for mercy, and maybe this master will give you a quick death.”

“If anything happens to me, Eunuch Zheng won’t let you off,” Yao Xi could only use Zheng Dayun’s name to try and scare them. Even if it didn’t deter Liao Bing, as long as the men he brought with him were wary of Zheng Dayun and didn’t help, it would be a one-on-one fight between two cripples. Who would win was anyone’s guess.

“Zheng Dayun?” Liao Bing said, gritting his teeth. “Sooner or later, this master will deal with him, too.” His leg was most likely ruined for good. A broken leg wasn’t like a broken nail or a clipped hair. He had to avenge this, no matter what.

            

He had restrained himself from attacking Yao Xi during the day for fear of implicating his uncle, Liao Yaoming. But when he went to tell his uncle about it, Liao Yaoming had looked at his crippled leg and said furiously, “Endure my ass! If anything happens, I’ll take the blame. That Zheng Dayun is just a dog at Eunuch Tang’s heel! He knew you were my nephew and still struck such a heavy blow. It was obviously intentional.”

Liao Yaoming was genuinely angry, not because of Liao Bing’s ruined leg, but because he felt Zheng Dayun had shown him no respect. Liao Bing had been beaten into a confession and dragged several other eunuchs from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens down with him. Those eunuchs were let off with a light punishment and sent back, but only Liao Bing had his leg broken. Who would believe it wasn’t intentional?

But Liao Yaoming was truly an old fox. He only encouraged Liao Bing to cause trouble for Yao Xi, unwilling to get involved himself. That way, if things really blew up and Eunuch Tang came looking for trouble with the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, he could just push Liao Bing out to take the fall. Liao Bing had caused him a lot of trouble over the years, and Liao Yaoming was always worried that one day his nephew would stir up a disaster so huge it would drag him down too.

            

Liao Yaoming was more annoyed with Liao Bing than with Yao Xi. With just a few words, he could kill three eagles with one arrow: get rid of the two troublemakers in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens and also slap Zheng Dayun in the face.

Liao Bing was ready to risk it all, but the young eunuchs he had summoned were still afraid of Zheng Dayun. “Bing-ge, why don’t we just scare the kid a little? If this gets out of hand, it’ll be hard to clean up.”

“This old man has no intention of cleaning it up!” Liao Bing shoved aside the eunuch trying to reason with him, limped to the bedside, and with a single reach of his arm, hauled Yao Xi out like a little chick.

            

Without a second thought, the moment she was dragged out, Yao Xi mustered all her strength and kicked Liao Bing squarely in the crotch.

Liao Bing cried out, clutching his groin as the hand gripping Yao Xi’s collar loosened. Yao Xi seized the opportunity and bolted for the door. But with the injury on the top of her foot, she couldn’t run fast. After struggling for what felt like an eternity, she had only made it about ten meters…

The people of the Bureau of Imperial Gardens were all awake now. Some were returning to their rooms with water to wash up, others were heading to the dining hall for breakfast in groups… They all stared strangely at Yao Xi, who was struggling to move forward slowly.

            

Liao Bing recovered, and, still clutching his groin, rushed out of the room and shouted at the crowd, “Grab that kid for me!”

The eunuchs didn’t know what was happening, but they were used to being ordered around by Liao Bing. They reflexively blocked Yao Xi’s path, their faces a mask of confusion.

“Let me go!” Yao Xi struggled futilely in the crowd.

            

Leaning on his crutch, Liao Bing also moved slowly in Yao Xi’s direction. The chase between the two cripples was, inexplicably, a little heartbreaking. Like two snails in a race, they were clearly moving as fast as they could, yet the onlookers were growing anxious just watching.

“Your bureau is certainly lively. What game is this, so early in the morning?” a man called out with a clear laugh as he entered the Bureau of Imperial Gardens’ courtyard.

A manager in the crowd of onlookers recognized the newcomer and hurried to greet him. “Imperial Physician Fu, what brings you here?”

            

The crowd instantly fell silent. Imperial Physician Fu was the Empress Dowager’s personal physician. It seemed someone had been sent over yesterday who asked a question and left. Why had he come in person today?

“Which one of you is Eunuch Yao Xi?” The Empress Dowager’s order had reached the Imperial Medical Academy after nightfall, so Fu Wenqing had delayed his visit by a day. Fortunately, the Imperial Medical Academy wasn’t far from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, just a short carriage ride away. In truth, this was a small matter that anyone could have handled; he didn’t need to come personally. But he figured he had to go to Ning’an Palace to check the Empress Dowager’s pulse anyway, so he could deliver the medicine to the Bureau and report back to Her Ladyship right after.

The crowd parted, and the space around Yao Xi, who had been completely surrounded just a moment ago, was suddenly empty.

            

“I am Yao Xi.” Hearing the manager address the newcomer as an Imperial Physician, Yao Xi bravely hobbled over to him.

Fu Wenqing ordered the attendant behind him to hand over the medicine box. He took out several small paper packets tied into a large bundle and said, “These packets are a spirit-calming and qi-soothing tonic. Brew and drink it in the morning and evening. One packet to three bowls of water.” He then produced a black porcelain bottle. “This bottle is for falls and bruises. It’s for external use, also once in the morning and once at night. Has Eunuch remembered everything clearly?”

Yao Xi took the medicine and asked in confusion, “Your Excellency, why are you giving me medicine?”

            

Fu Wenqing laughed heartily. “On the orders of Her Ladyship, the Empress Dowager.”

Everyone in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens gasped. Even Liao Bing, who had been dead set on killing Yao Xi, wore an expression of utter disbelief.

Her Ladyship, the Empress Dowager… ordered Imperial Physician Fu… to deliver medicine to Yao Xi?????

            

They had only ever heard of people dying in Ning’an Palace, never of the Empress Dowager saving anyone. And it was Imperial Physician Fu himself, who only ever treated the Empress Dowager. Had this kid Yao Xi’s ancestors’ graves started emitting green smoke or something?​¹

The young eunuch who had dropped the crate and injured Yao Xi felt his legs go weak, nearly fainting from shock. Yao Xi had just injured his foot, and the Empress Dowager immediately sent bruise medicine. Didn’t that mean Her Ladyship knew he was the one who hurt Yao Xi? The eunuch’s vision went black, and he fainted dead away.

In truth, the bruise medicine was a complete coincidence. The night before, Wan Bi had seen that there wasn’t a clean spot on Yao Xi’s body and guessed that he must have been terrified in Jingling Palace, stumbling and bumping into things. It was pitch-black and full of traps, so it was inevitable he’d get some scrapes. That was why she had Fu Wenqing send some medicine for external injuries along with the spirit-calming tonic.

            

Fu Wenqing walked toward the fainted eunuch with a helpless smile, thinking to himself: Well, then. Looks like I’m going to be late today.

But a doctor has the heart of a parent,​² so upon seeing someone collapse, he naturally had to stay and check on them. Fu Wenqing pried open the eunuch’s eyelids. “Strange. What could have scared him like this in broad daylight?” Puzzled, he ordered his attendant to help carry the man into a room to lie down.

Aside from Fu Wenqing, no one cared about the fainted eunuch. The men who had blocked Yao Xi for Liao Bing now crowded around her, asking fawningly, “Eunuch Yao, is the injury on your foot serious?”

            

Yao Xi held up the black porcelain bottle and waved it in front of everyone. “No matter how serious the injury,” she said smugly, “with this medicine, it’s no longer serious.”

The medicine Her Ladyship had bestowed upon her wasn’t for healing injuries; it was a lifesaver! Yao Xi understood that no matter how audacious the people in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens were, they wouldn’t dare offend the master of Ning’an Palace. Liao Bing might still come after her to settle the score, but no one would dare help him deal with her now.

This just showed the importance of having a powerful backer! Compared to the Empress Dowager, Zheng Dayun was nothing. If she could truly win the Empress Dowager’s favor, then forget the Bureau of Imperial Gardens—no one in the entire palace would dare bully her. But Yao Xi knew that not only had she failed to win the Empress Dowager’s favor, she had actually offended her.

            

So why did Her Ladyship give her medicine? Suddenly, Yao Xi felt that the Empress Dowager wasn’t as terrifying as the rumors claimed. She had heard that some palace servants were beaten to death on the spot for breaking one of their master’s things or misspeaking accidentally.

But she had first offended the Empress Dowager with her insolent words, and Her Ladyship had only made her stand night duty in Ning’an Palace. Later, when she was late for her shift, Her Ladyship had only made her guard the Cold Palace for a night. From beginning to end, aside from a few scares, she hadn’t broken any bones or torn any muscles. Not only had the Empress Dowager spared her, but she had even sent an Imperial Physician to personally deliver medicine.

“We little ones had eyes but failed to recognize Mount Tai.​³ We had no idea when Eunuch Yao won Her Ladyship’s favor.” The people of the Bureau had heard that Yao Xi was punished by being sent to guard Jingling Palace and was later sent back. They had all assumed he had earned the Empress Dowager’s displeasure and been kicked out.

            

“It’s good that you know you were blind. Her Ladyship the Empress Dowager likes me and dotes on me. She knew my foot was injured, so look! She immediately had the Imperial Physician personally deliver medicine. And do you know why Her Ladyship also bestowed a spirit-calming tonic on me? It’s because Her Ladyship knows I’m having a hard time in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens! Yesterday, someone was scheming against me, trying to trip me up…”

The people who had wronged Yao Xi yesterday all wore sheepish smiles. “What is Eunuch Yao saying? You are someone Her Ladyship values. We wouldn’t have enough time to curry favor with you!”

Yao Xi bragged to her heart’s content, basking in the crowd’s looks of worship, envy, and jealousy. No matter how uncertain she felt inside, she couldn’t let it show. As long as the people in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens believed she had the Empress Dowager’s favor, they wouldn’t dare touch her.

            

Liao Bing stood outside the crowd, watching coldly as Yao Xi was treated like the moon cupped by the stars.​⁴ No matter how reckless he was, he wouldn’t dare kill someone in front of Imperial Physician Fu. But he would not let this matter rest.

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