Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 12
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is Terrifying
Yao Xi felt that Daxing was doomed.
In this enormous Imperial Palace, they couldn’t even be bothered to light a few streetlamps in the uninhabited sections. The area she’d gotten lost in last time was pitch-black, and tonight’s Jingling Palace was no different. It wasn’t like they were collecting any less in taxes from the common people, and there hadn’t been any wars in recent years. So where was the money! Where was the money! Was the imperial family so poor they couldn’t even afford lamp oil?
Yao Xi wiped away her tears and pushed herself up, steadying herself against the palace wall. Looking in from the palace gate, the stone lanterns in the front courtyard had long since gone out. The only light in the entire Jingling Palace came from the West Wing Room.
Yao Xi patted her violently trembling legs, took a deep breath while holding the doorframe, and prepared to go back inside and not leave until she found that painting. It was true that she was afraid of ghosts, but she was even more afraid of the woman in Ning’an Palace.
Having already been tricked twice by that patch of soft ground at the entrance, Yao Xi was not so reckless this time. She held onto the palace gate and first stretched out a foot to test the way. Forcing herself to endure the hair-raising sensation, she waited until her probing foot had packed the soft ground solid, then gave a hard push off, scrambling over to the firm stone bricks.
Yao Xi tried her best to stay clear-headed. No matter what other supernatural things happened, as long as she remained focused on her goal, she could be fearless. She had a plan: first, go to the West Wing Room and get a lamp, then search each room one by one. She told herself that she had never done anything to offend heaven and reason,1 and she had no grievances with any of the deceased consorts in the palace. There was nothing to be afraid of.
Every injustice has its perpetrator, every debt has its debtor.2 Even ghosts had to be reasonable, right?
Groping her way to the entrance of the Main Hall in the dark, Yao Xi accidentally bumped the half-open door. The sound of bells rang out from above her head, and a jolt of terror shot through her entire body. She let out a scream and bolted straight for the lighted West Wing Room.
“Ahhhhhhhh—!”
Yao Xi shrieked as she ran, as if a horde of vengeful ghosts was chasing her.
Inside the West Wing Room was a bronze oil lamp, placed before a brass mirror that was half the height of a person. Finally seeing light again, Yao Xi’s heart, which had been stretched to its breaking point, calmed slightly. She walked to the brass mirror, about to pick up the oil lamp…
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—!”
Yao Xi’s scream was loud enough to shake the heavens. She stumbled back several steps and fell heavily to the ground.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She couldn’t believe it. She had clearly seen herself in the mirror, her face covered in streaming blood. The lamplight illuminated her gory features, and the world behind her was a pool of blackness.
Yao Xi completely broke down. “Waaaaah—!”
She felt like her heart was about to explode. Her whole body was limp and wouldn’t obey her. She kept her head down, not daring to look at anything in the room.
Emperor Ming Cheng was startled by the sudden, blood-curdling scream. He had just been raising a cup of wine to his lips, but his hand shook, spilling wine all over himself.
Wan Bi handed a handkerchief to Emperor Ming Cheng, letting him wipe it himself.
“It seems something has happened over at the Cold Palace.” Emperor Ming Cheng never came near Jingling Palace. He felt a measure of guilt toward the women in the Cold Palace. Although they all deserved to be there, the old saying went that even one day as husband and wife meant a hundred days of grace. He simply treated the women in the Cold Palace as if they were dead, not wanting to know how those who had once shared love and affection with him were faring.
Wan Bi was somewhat pleased to hear Yao Xi’s miserable shriek. This was different from the detached amusement she’d felt earlier; it was more like the happiness of a mother whose newborn child wouldn’t cry, who anxiously pats the baby’s bottom until finally hearing its first wail.
A joy mixed with reassurance.
While she had been speaking with Emperor Ming Cheng, her thoughts had remained in Jingling Palace. When she hadn’t heard any sound for a long time, Wan Bi had genuinely worried that the little castrated donkey had been scared to death. Hearing the familiar scream naturally set her mind at ease. The person was still alive, and judging by the sound, that little castrated donkey was still in high spirits.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m punishing a little eunuch by making him stand guard at the Cold Palace. He was probably frightened by something,” Wan Bi said with a smile.
“Oh? How did that eunuch offend the Empress Dowager?” Emperor Ming Cheng asked nonchalantly, using Wan Bi’s handkerchief to wipe the wine from his clothes.
Wan Bi couldn’t very well say it was because the little eunuch despised her.. So she said, “He was late for his shift. I’m teaching him to have a better memory.”
The upward curve of Wan Bi’s lips suddenly froze, because the miserable scream from Jingling Palace had turned into sobs.
“That eunuch is quite the coward. Just guarding the Cold Palace, and he’s scared to tears.” Emperor Ming Cheng shook his head in dissatisfaction. He disliked overly spineless servants. It was understandable for a palace maid to be timid, but a eunuch, even if he’d been cut, was still a man at his root. A man ought to have a man’s fortitude.
Wan Bi really wanted to tell Emperor Ming Cheng: It’s not that the eunuch is a coward. If you went, you’d cry too. You’d probably cry even more miserably than he did.
At that moment, Wan Bi didn’t realize that she was mentally defending a little eunuch. She only felt that her mood had been ruined. She had gone to all this trouble for a bit of entertainment, but listening to the sniffling sobs coming from Jingling Palace, Wan Bi found she couldn’t feel happy at all.
Guanhe Pavilion was right next to Jingling Palace, so Wan Bi could hear Yao Xi’s cries clearly, from agonized wails to soft, whimpering sobs. That little castrated donkey looked like a girl, acted like a girl, and even his crying sounded like a wronged little wench.3
Wan Bi found the crying both grating and heart-wrenching. Paired with that little eunuch’s pretty and delicate face, it made her heart clench. She wasn’t a cold-blooded and heartless person; she had only wanted to tease the little eunuch for some fun and to vent a little.
“Is the Emperor not returning yet? It is so late. You still have to attend morning court tomorrow.” Wan Bi didn’t want to show weakness toward a little eunuch in front of Emperor Ming Cheng. She figured that once he left, she would go to Jingling Palace, have that Yao Xi beg her for forgiveness, and the matter would be considered over.
How could Emperor Ming Cheng not recognize Wan Bi’s attempt to send him away? It was late at night and they were by the lake, so it was already chilly. He was getting a bit sleepy too, but the more Wan Bi wanted him to leave, the more he insisted on staying a while longer.
“We will accompany the Empress Dowager and chat for a while.” Emperor Ming Cheng poured a cup of tea for Wan Bi, then poured himself another cup of wine. “The Empress Dowager has been put in perilous situations because of Our affairs. Ning’an Palace has not been peaceful these past years. Although We have ordered the palace guard to increase their patrols, it is difficult to defend against hidden arrows! This cup is a toast to the Empress Dowager for your assistance!”
Emperor Ming Cheng thought of all Wan Bi had gone through over the past two years and drank the cold wine with tears in his eyes.
Wan Bi glanced at the deeply moved Emperor Ming Cheng, feeling not a single ripple in her heart as she perfunctorily drank the tea. Emperor Ming Cheng had always believed her words after she had cut down that Speaking Official,4 thinking she had done those things for his sake.
But how could she possibly be such a selfless and great person?
The Late Emperor was gone, and Emperor Ming Cheng had ascended the throne. Although the Late Emperor had left a testamentary edict to ensure her safety, when a person leaves, the tea gets cold.5 Whether that edict was a life-saving talisman or a piece of scrap paper was really all up to Emperor Ming Cheng. And he wasn’t her biological son. The Grand Consort, when she was alive, had her share of conflicts with her, and the Eldest Princess Longyi hated her to the bone because of what happened to the Late Empress.
After the Late Emperor passed away, Wan Bi was silent for many days. There was sadness, but more than that, there was worry for the future. The Late Emperor had once deposed the Empress for her, so she had long since earned a bad reputation for bringing chaos to the court. Sure enough, just as Emperor Ming Cheng ascended the throne, a Speaking Official submitted a memorial, asking him to depose her as Empress Dowager.
Her maternal family had died at the hands of the Eunuch Faction.6 With the Late Emperor gone, she had no one left to rely on. That was why she had stormed into the throne room, killed the Speaking Official who had impeached her, and brazenly told Emperor Ming Cheng: “This bereaved one’s reputation was ruined the day I entered the palace. I might as well ruin it completely. From now on, this bereaved one will handle any difficult matters for Your Majesty. Consider it repaying the Late Emperor’s years of care.”
It was fortunate that the Speaking Official was a man who fished for fame and reputation.7 Emperor Ming Cheng believed her, and only then was she able to continue living her carefree life, able to summon the wind and call the rain,8 fearing nothing under the heavens. To solidify Emperor Ming Cheng’s gratitude toward her, Wan Bi did indeed help him solve many troubles later on. In any case, with Emperor Ming Cheng as her backer and the Late Emperor’s edict in hand, there was nothing she didn’t dare to do.
Except for that gang of eunuchs.
The grudge from the extermination of the Wan family was a sharp thorn that had long been lodged in her heart, unable to be removed! But alas, the Eunuch Faction could never be fully eradicated. The Emperor simply couldn’t do without those eunuch-knaves9 from the Directorate of Ceremonial and the Eastern Depot. Even the Late Emperor, who had loved her so deeply, would not have been foolish enough to sever his own limbs by abolishing the Eunuch Faction for a beloved woman.
“Your Majesty need not thank me; it is all part of this bereaved one’s duty. The world belongs to the Feng family. Since I married into the Feng family, I should naturally do my utmost to plan for Your Majesty.” Wan Bi could no longer hear any sound from Jingling Palace, and the heart she had just set at ease was now hanging in suspense again.
Could he really have been scared to death? She clearly hated eunuchs in her heart, yet she couldn’t help but worry about the life and death of that little castrated donkey in Jingling Palace.
Yao Xi wasn’t dead. She was lying on the floor, panting. She felt she wasn’t far from death, either. Her heart was pounding—thump, thump, thump—and she felt like the overworked little organ would give out at any second.
Mustering her courage, she began to crawl forward, stubbornly making her way toward the dressing table. Yao Xi didn’t dare look at the mirror, so she could only lie on the floor and stretch out her hand to reach for the oil lamp. After getting the lamp, she continuously chanted “Amitabha” and searched the West Wing Room.
They say it’s dark under the lamp.10 Holding the oil lamp, everywhere except the small area in front of her was even darker than before, like a puddle of thick ink. This was good, too. Even if there really was something strange in the room, she wouldn’t be able to see it. Yao Xi tried hard to suppress her imagination and focused all her attention on the painting.
A painting tied with a red tassel…
In a flash, Yao Xi had made her way to the East Secondary Room.
Not on the floor!
Not on the bed!
Not on the table!
Not under the bed!
The only place that could hide a person… no, the only place that could hide a thing that she could reach was that large wardrobe.
Yao Xi had a faint sense of unease, feeling as if something was about to jump out at any moment.
She took a deep breath. One, two, three!
The moment she opened the door, Yao Xi cowardly averted her gaze. She calmed her heart and slowly turned her head back…
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—!”
A white-robed ghost with disheveled hair was standing in the wardrobe. Although its hair covered its face, Yao Xi could still vaguely see it.
The ghost’s face was completely bare. It had no facial features! No facial features! No facial features!
“Waaaaah—!” Yao Xi lost her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to manually block out everything before her. After one scare after another, Yao Xi no longer had the strength to run. She knelt before the wardrobe, sobbing, “This slave did not mean to disturb Your Ladyship. If you have a grudge, go find the person who sent you to the Cold Palace. Please don’t take it out on this slave! Every injustice has its perpetrator, every debt has its debtor. This slave only entered Your Ladyship’s treasured land by accident and will leave right away! Right away!”
Yao Xi cried until her liver and intestines felt torn to pieces.11
Wan Bi found it a little hard to keep listening.
But the crying continued to drift over, and after a while, it turned into screams again, then screams mixed with sobs.
From Yao Xi’s reactions, Wan Bi could roughly guess where he had gotten to. He had only just finished searching the front courtyard. There was still a person hanging from the old locust tree in the rear courtyard! Wan Bi listened to the sounds with a clenched heart. What was supposed to be a punishment for that little castrated donkey had, at some point, become an ordeal for her.
The author has something to say:
You might not believe this, but the last chapter was almost four thousand characters long, yet many little angels said it was too short.
So, should I start doing double updates tomorrow?
Footnotes
- A Chinese idiom (chengyu) meaning to do something utterly immoral or wicked.
- A Chinese proverb meaning that one should seek out the responsible party for any grievance, not blame the innocent.
- A dismissive and somewhat derogatory term for a young girl, akin to “little wench” or “bratty girl.”
- Speaking Officials (Yanguan) were government officials charged with the specific duty of remonstrating the emperor and impeaching corrupt officials.
- A Chinese proverb, literally “when a person leaves, the tea gets cold,” meaning that influence and relationships fade once someone is gone from power.
- Literally “eunuch faction” or “eunuch clique,” referring to powerful political factions formed by court eunuchs.
- A Chinese idiom (chengyu) meaning to seek fame and praise through dishonest or superficial means.
- A Chinese idiom (chengyu), literally “to summon the wind and call the rain,” meaning to wield immense power and influence.
- A derogatory term for eunuchs, combining “castrate” and a character for “servant” or “knave.”
- A Chinese saying, literally “it’s dark under the lamp,” meaning that one often overlooks what is right in front of them.
- A Chinese idiom (chengyu), literally “liver and intestines torn to pieces,” describing a state of extreme grief or heartbreak.
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