Top-Tier Omega: Chasing Alpha to the Crematorium – Chapter 22
by Little PandaShe Seemed to Have Feelings for Song Qingpei
After she struck, Song Qingpei herself was startled.
Given Ming Yu’s status and position, it would be as easy for her to crush Song Qingpei in a fit of rage as it would be to crush an ant.
She was well aware of the gap between them and had told herself again and again to endure it, but in the end, she couldn’t hold back. Perhaps, deep down, she still saw them as equals and instinctively resisted the disparity.
Watching the clear, five-fingered red mark slowly emerge on Ming Yu’s face, Song Qingpei’s expression grew complicated. She wanted to say something, but the grip on her shoulders suddenly tightened, making her suck in a sharp breath of pain.
Ming Yu, having come to her senses, stared at her, spitting out each word. “You. Hit. Me!”
Her tone was exceedingly dangerous, as if squeezed from between her teeth.
It was that same high-and-mighty tone, that same stunned attitude, which only served to highlight her arrogance, as if being slapped was an earth-shattering event.
And what about her? Did she just deserve to be slapped for no reason?
Song Qingpei was forced to tilt her head up to meet the other woman’s gaze. “You can hit me,” she asked calmly, “so why can’t I hit you?”
“You…” Ming Yu started to speak, then stopped.
She seemed to be stunned by Song Qingpei’s attitude. The fury in her eyes flickered, flaring and dying, as if she were caught in some kind of internal conflict.
“What about me?”
At Song Qingpei’s prompting, Ming Yu fell silent.
Song Qingpei was truly tired of this baffling behavior. If possible, she would much rather they have a serious discussion. It would be best if they could resolve things; if not, she would give up on communication entirely.
So this time, she didn’t run. Instead, she looked directly into Ming Yu’s eyes and said earnestly, “Ming Yu, don’t wake Songsong. Let go of me. Let’s go talk outside.”
Ming Yu stared at her, not releasing her grip.
Song Qingpei frowned slightly, her expression disapproving.
They were locked in a silent struggle.
Finally, Ming Yu looked away. She slowly let go of Song Qingpei’s shoulders, rose wearily to her feet, and turned toward the door.
Song Qingpei got up and followed.
They went downstairs, one after the other. Ming Yu went straight to the living room and sat on the sofa.
Song Qingpei sat down opposite her, lowered her gaze, and said in a low voice, “Do you want to speak first, or should I?”
“…” Ming Yu looked up, her gaze complex.
Song Qingpei truly hated her silence. “If you’re not going to talk,” she said impatiently, “then I will.”
“…”
Ming Yu was silent again.
Song Qingpei organized her thoughts, then began slowly, “Ming Yu, I know you look down on me. I know you feel my existence is an insult to you. But what’s done is done, and I hope you can look at this matter fairly.”
“This wasn’t my fault. You can only say that fate plays tricks on people1.”
“Whether you believe me or not, I can only promise that I will never use Songsong to achieve some goal, much less covet your power and status. I just want to be with Songsong as she grows up. That’s all.”
Every word was sincere and frank.
It was as if she had cut open her heart, crushed it to pieces, and laid it all bare before her, hoping only that Ming Yu would listen, that for Songsong’s sake, they could coexist in relative peace.
Ming Yu pressed her lips together, her expression complicated as she seemed to weigh the truth in Song Qingpei’s words.
Seeing her prolonged silence, Song Qingpei felt a pang of disappointment, assuming she still didn’t believe her.
After a moment, Song Qingpei said dejectedly, “If you don’t believe me…”
“I believe you.”
Ming Yu suddenly cut her off. After a pause, she said in a low voice, “I’m just wondering why you’ve suddenly become so… bold? You weren’t like this before.”
She hesitated before using the word “bold,” and after saying it, felt it wasn’t quite right, but she couldn’t find a better word. After all, when she had first found Song Qingpei, the woman had been meek and submissive, easily controlled. Why had she changed so much in such a short time?
The question had plagued her for too long. She thought about it every day but could never find an answer.
That was why she kept suspecting it was because of that Murong Ruixue, why she couldn’t stop herself from doing so many things that were out of control. Of course, she couldn’t explain the reasons to Song Qingpei, so she could only ask in this vague way.
“Because I’m a person, too. I can’t just be obedient like a dog.”
Song Qingpei lowered her eyes, a derisive smile on her face. “I once thought I could set aside my dignity for Songsong, to swallow my pride and compromise2, to obey your every word3 like a dog. But… I found I can’t do it. I’m a person. I have self-respect. I can feel my heart go cold, and I can feel anger and resentment.”
She wasn’t lying. Saying it aloud made her feel much better, but a dull ache remained.
“…”
Ming Yu was silent, her expression unreadable.
Song Qingpei looked at her and chuckled softly. “If you want me to obey you like a dog, I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.”
Ming Yu froze, staring at her blankly, as if she couldn’t believe her ears.
Her heart suddenly clenched. Her voice trembled. “…That’s not what I meant.”
A mocking curve appeared on Song Qingpei’s lips. “…Then please, tell me, have you ever shown me the slightest bit of respect? Have you not treated our past as a disgrace?”
“I…” Ming Yu was at a loss for words.
She wanted to deny it, but she disdained lying, so she could only remain silent.
Even though she had known it all along, Ming Yu’s tacit admission still made Song Qingpei’s heart constrict violently, as if she’d been viciously stabbed.
She gave a bitter laugh. “Ming Yu, I can understand you wanting to erase our past because of your status. I know we are worlds apart4, that I’m not worthy of you. But I’ve truly been trying my best, trying to make Songsong proud of me. I hope you can understand that, and please, don’t push me any further.”
“…”
Ming Yu continued her silence. A dull pain bloomed in her chest, nearly suffocating her.
Enough had been said. Song Qingpei was unwilling to be humbled any further, nor did she want to argue with Ming Yu anymore. She stood up. “Ming Yu, I don’t expect us to be friends. As long as we can be civil on the surface, for Songsong’s sake, that’s enough.”
“Fine.” After a long time, Ming Yu forced out the single word.
Song Qingpei let out a breath of relief. “Thank you.”
With that, she stood and turned to leave.
Halfway there, she stopped and looked back at Ming Yu. “I’m sorry. I was impulsive today. I shouldn’t have resorted to violence. It won’t happen again.”
Then she turned and walked away.
Ming Yu sat alone on the sofa, not moving for a long time.
Just as Song Qingpei reached the end of the staircase and was about to turn the corner, Ming Yu suddenly stood up and said in a hoarse voice, a phrase she hadn’t used in a long time, “I’m sorry. We’re even.”
Hearing this, Song Qingpei paused. She found it both infuriating and amusing.
That was Ming Yu for you. Even her apologies were grating.
She didn’t dwell on the incident. Believing they had reached an agreement, Song Qingpei felt a great weight lift from her shoulders. She went to bed and slept soundly, holding Songsong in her arms.
Ming Yu, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep at all.
Song Qingpei’s words replayed in her mind like a curse, stirring up an undeniable sense of defeat.
She didn’t know how to describe the feeling. It was a sour, unbearable ache, as if something had been slowly fermenting in her chest over time, growing ever more potent.
She was unwilling, and afraid, to think about it.
She tossed and turned almost the entire night, her mind filled with Song Qingpei’s disappointed accusations.
The next day.
Ming Yu came downstairs, listless, and once again heard the familiar sounds of laughter.
Mother and daughter were sitting at the dining table. Song Qingpei was feeding Songsong porridge. The moment they saw her, the laughter died.
“Mommy’s here! Quick, put it down, I’ll eat by myself.”
Songsong whispered to Song Qingpei while winking. Song Qingpei didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but she played along, placing the bowl in front of her daughter.
Once their clumsy ‘disguise’ was in place, Songsong called out sweetly, “Mommy~”
“Good morning, Songsong.”
Ming Yu forced a smile and sat down opposite them.
A maid immediately served her breakfast. Ming Yu had no appetite. She merely glanced at it before her gaze fell on Songsong, watching her eat.
Songsong, who was obediently eating her porridge, noticed her gaze and looked up. She was about to speak when she saw the distinct red handprint on her mother’s face. Her little face froze, and she asked with concern, “Mommy, did someone bully you?”
Ming Yu didn’t register the question at first. “What?”
Songsong reached out a small hand to touch her face. “Mommy, does it hurt?” she asked, her voice full of sympathy.
Ming Yu reached up and gently stroked Songsong’s little head. “It doesn’t hurt.”
“Mommy, let me blow on it for you.”
“Okay.”
Ming Yu closed her eyes, letting Songsong’s fingers brush against her cheek. A strange feeling welled up inside her, a warmth she had never known fermenting in her chest.
Song Qingpei watched their affectionate display with very mixed feelings.
Then Songsong cupped Ming Yu’s face and asked in her milky voice, “Mommy, who hit you? I’ll have Mama get revenge for you! Mama is super strong.”
At this, Ming Yu said nothing, only shooting a cool, sidelong glance at Song Qingpei.
Song Qingpei felt a wave of embarrassment. She could only clear her throat. “Songsong, hurry and finish your porridge. You have class later.”
“Oh!”
As Songsong picked up her spoon, Song Qingpei added, “Eat slowly, don’t choke.”
“Okay.” Songsong nodded obediently and wiped her mouth with a napkin.
Song Qingpei put down her chopsticks and glanced at Ming Yu sitting opposite her. “I’m finished. I’m heading to work now.”
“Wait,” Ming Yu said.
Song Qingpei stopped. “Is there something else?”
Ming Yu looked at her and explained, “Songsong starts school tomorrow. There’s a welcome ceremony. Are you going?”
Remembering her ‘promise,’ Song Qingpei felt conflicted. Of course she wanted to go.
But Ming Yu didn’t want anyone to know about her existence. Songsong was still young; she would definitely call her ‘Mama’ there. Her presence would likely cause a lot of trouble.
Seeing her silence, Ming Yu assumed she didn’t want to go, and her expression visibly darkened.
“Are you so busy you can’t even spare that much time?”
“Of course I have time,” Song Qingpei retorted instinctively. “I’m just worried that Songsong will call me Mama and it’ll be difficult to explain.”
Her words made Ming Yu’s breath catch. Remembering her previous warnings to Song Qingpei, her face flushed red, then went pale.
She pressed her lips together and said, rather awkwardly, “You can go. There’s no need to worry about such trivial things.”
Song Qingpei looked at her in complete surprise. “Really?” she repeated, unable to believe it.
Ming Yu didn’t answer.
Seeing that she was conceding, Song Qingpei immediately said, “Alright then, I’ll take the day off tomorrow and take Songsong to school.”
“…Whatever.”
Ming Yu disliked her distrustful expression. “If you want to go, then go. It has nothing to do with me,” she said, displeased. “I’ll be there tomorrow too if I have time.”
“Fine, I know.”
“Mm.”
“Then I’m off to work.”
Watching her retreating back, Ming Yu felt an inexplicable emptiness in her heart.
Was this how they were going to interact from now on?
Strangely, dead memories began to stir…
When they were together before, Song Qingpei would cook for her, would chatter on and on, tireless even when she rarely responded. Not like now, where she avoided her like the plague, wearing a false mask, her pretense so perfunctory.
But now, everything had changed…
Ming Yu shook her head and took a deep breath, suppressing the strange emotion in her heart.
She spooned up the porridge and brought it to her mouth, but she couldn’t taste a thing. It was like chewing wax5, and her mood instantly plummeted.
A strong sense of unwillingness rose from her heart, growing more and more intense, searing her.
She wanted to hold on.
Ming Yu froze.
Hold on? What did she want to hold on to?
A truth she was unwilling to admit became increasingly obvious, making it impossible for her to keep running from it.
It seemed… she had feelings for Song Qingpei.
The author has something to say:
Three thousand words for today, I’ll aim for ten thousand tomorrow.
Footnotes
- A Chinese idiom, tiānyì nòng rén, meaning that destiny is fickle and often works against people's wishes.
- A Chinese idiom, wěiqūqiúquán, meaning to make concessions and compromises, often at the expense of one's own principles or dignity, to achieve a greater goal.
- A Chinese idiom, yántīngjìcóng, describing absolute obedience, where one listens to every word and follows every plan without question.
- A Chinese idiom, yún ní zhī bié, literally 'the difference between clouds and mud.' It describes a vast, insurmountable gap in status, ability, or quality between two things or people.
- A Chinese idiom, wèi tóng jiáo là, meaning that food is completely tasteless, usually due to anxiety, sadness, or illness.
- Nézhā is a famous protective deity in Chinese mythology and folk religion, and the titular character of a highly popular 2019 Chinese animated film.
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