Peerless Beauty – Chapter 109
by Little PandaReturn
Real world
Goose feather-like snow, falling in flurries.
A vast expanse of white fills her vision as she wanders aimlessly in this frozen world, her mind blank.
Where is this place? Where should she go? Who is she?
She sees a woman walking towards her in the morning light.
A beautiful woman, wearing a black coat, her feet in a pair of soaked black cotton slippers. Snow clings to her hair and eyebrows, and her temples are damp with sweat. She looks somewhat disheveled, with traces of tears on her face, calling out a name loudly.
She floats closer, straining to hear the name.
“Yinxi– Yinxi–“
Yinxi, this name sounds familiarβ¦
She shakes her head and reaches out, wanting to pat the woman’s shoulder, to ask for more details, to see if she can help search.
Her hand extends, her palm descends, but there’s no expected sensation of touch.
She freezes in shock.
The next moment, the woman collides with her.
There’s no sensation of touch or resistance, as if passing through a layer of transparent air, directly through her body.
She withdraws her arm, fingers pointing upward, staring blankly at her palm.
It⦠it looks human⦠with skin, blood vessels, and palm lines.
The line representing longevity is very long; a fortune teller once said she would live to be a hundred years old.
Huh? When did she have her fortune told?
She tries to recall something, but her mind is as blank as the vast white landscape before her.
She looks down at her own body.
She’s wearing a white nightgown and a pair of cotton slippers on her feet.
The same style of slippers as the woman from earlier.
Except hers are white.
Why did she come out wearing fluffy pajamas? Isn’t it cold?
It seems she really isn’t cold.
Nor is she hot.
She pinches herself hard.
She can’t feel pain either.
She’s completely lost all sensation.
She doesn’t know what’s going on.
She looks at the tall figure ahead of her and, instinctively, follows.
She follows all the way, watching the woman search all the way.
The snow makes the road slippery, and the woman, wearing slippers, falls several times. She instinctively wants to help her up, but as she bends down, her arms pass right through the woman’s body.
She can’t touch her at all.
The woman falls down once again.
Watching this is somewhat painful for her; the area where her heart is located aches with a throbbing pain.
She crouches down, looking at the woman.
The woman gets up, sits in the snow, clutching a crumpled piece of paper in her hand.
On the paper, there’s only a name and a dateβ
γLu Yinxi, 01-01 04:58.γ
She looks at the name and date, once again falling into confusion.
An inexplicable sadness washes over her, and she speaks, her voice choked with tears: “Stop searching, the snow is too heavy, go home.”
The woman can’t hear her words. She sits in the snow, staring at the smartwatch on her wrist for a while, seemingly not finding what she wants to see. She unfastens the watch strap, angrily throws it to the ground, then stands up. With uneven steps, she continues forward against the wind and snow.
After walking a few steps, she turns back, picks up the watch from the snow, and stuffs it into her coat pocket.
She follows all the way, occasionally reaching out to try and see if she can touch the other person.
Following along, they arrive in front of a villa.
Two police cars are parked at the entrance of the villa, with uniformed police officers standing by the cars, talking to the woman about something.
The woman lowers her head, silent.
Suddenly, several cats run out from the villa, lifting their little heads, looking at her, meowing.
Can cats see her?
She tries to “meow” once.
The cats squatting at the doorway immediately wag their tails and run over, circling around her feet.
She crouches down, extends her hand, making a motion as if petting the cats’ heads.
The cats meow even louder, their tails swishing back and forth vigorously.
The woman in black standing next to the police officers keenly notices the cats’ unusual behavior. She looks towards where she is standing, her expression puzzled. After a few seconds, she walks over step by step and asks, “Yinxi, you’re here, aren’t you?”
There’s a hint of pleading in her tone.
The police officers behind the woman stare, dumbfounded.
“She, hereβ” One police officer points to his own head, “Has she been shocked?”
His colleague shakes his head, also looking astonished.
She stands up, watching the woman walk towards her, and once again reaches out to caress the woman’s cheek.
The woman stands in front of her, closes her eyes, and a clear tear rolls down her cheek as she says with certainty, “You’re here, I can feel it.”
It’s the first time she’s seen this person cry.
Don’t cry, please don’t cry, don’t cryβ¦
Her heart seems to curl up into a ball, aching terribly. As her fingertips gradually approach the woman’s cheek, just about to touch, her body is suddenly pulled by a force into a patch of darkness.
In the darkness, she keeps falling.
It seems like there’s no bottom to the fall.
Memories flood in like a tide, and she remembers her name, her identityβ¦
The pain in her chest is heart-wrenching, her heart falling along with her, Lu Yinxi sinks into despair.
If she can never see Jian Qing again in this life, never touch Jian Qing, she would rather choose self-destruction.
Just keep falling like this, never to wake up againβ¦
“Ring-ring-ring-ringβ Ring-ring-ring-ringβ”
The sound of an alarm clock rings in her ears. She instinctively turns it off, throwing the clock to the floor.
The hour, minute, and second hands of the clock continue to tick “tick-tock, tick-tock.”
The next moment, consciousness suddenly awakens.
The person on the bed opens her eyesβ
A white crystal chandelier, light blue wallpaper, a mural of forests and deer.
This is her room, her home.
Lu Yinxi lies on the bed, stretches out her arm, and feels the quilt.
Soft, warm, the tangible sensation of a real object.
She turns her head to look at the pillow beside her.
The pillow is empty.
She hurriedly gets up from the bed, circling around this familiar yet strange home, desperately trying to find a certain familiar figure.
To no avail.
She glances at her phone.
Beijing time, January 1, 2020, 07:30.
This is⦠the real world she had once longed for, yearned to return to.
Lu Yinxi collapses onto the floor, unable to feel even a trace of joy.
She wants to cry, to release her emotions, but her eyes are dry, unable to squeeze out a single tear.
She closes her eyes, takes a long while to compose herself, then crawls up from the floor and walks to the computer.
She turns it on, opens the web browser, and checks the browsing history.
She searches back and forth, but can’t find the novel she had read last night.
What’s going on?
Why? Why is there no browsing history?
She closes and reopens the browser, still unable to find the browsing history.
Relying on her memory, she types the title γStarlight on the Blade’s Edgeγ into the search bar, but none of the resulting URLs are for the novel.
How is this possible?
She adds the word “novel” to her search, but still can’t find this book.
Lan Zhou, Chu Yan, Jian Qingβ¦
She searches for each name individually, but all the results are unrelated websites.
She can’t find any trace of the novel she read last night.
It’s as if it has disappeared from this world, or perhaps, it never existed at all.
Could everything have been just her imagination? Or was it all just a dream?
Did such a novel never exist, nor such a story?
How could this be possible?
How could a dream feel so real?
Lu Yinxi touches her neckβ
There’s no necklace, her neck is bare.
The deer pendant necklace that Jian Qing gave her, which she always wore, is gone.
“How can it not be here? Why? Why can’t I find it?” she mutters, almost frantic, frantically hitting the computer keyboard, switching between several search engines, but still unable to find that novel or those characters.
She collapses onto the floor again, breathing rapidly, her chest heaving.
Could it beβ¦
Could everything have been just a dream she had last night?
Her Jian Qing, was she truly just a flower in a mirror, a moon in the water? A character that never really existed?
“Ring ring ringβ” The phone rings.
Lu Yinxi answers the call.
“Sister Yinxi, I’m already downstairs. Should I come up? Or just wait for you down here?”
It’s a call from her assistant, Xiao Tan.
Having not heard Xiao Tan’s voice for a year, Lu Yinxi is slow to respond, unsure of what to say.
After not hearing her speak for a while, Xiao Tan on the other end of the phone starts to shout: “Sister Yinxi? Sis! Are you oversleeping again? Get up quickly! We have an appointment with the magazine for a cover shoot today! You can’t sleep too much, your face will be puffy if you oversleep, and that’s not good! I’m coming up, open the door for me.”
Lu Yinxi stands up and opens the door for her assistant.
She does whatever others tell her to do.
Her brain seems to have stopped thinking, numbly changing clothes, going out, putting on makeup, shooting the cover.
The day passes in a daze like this.
The assistant takes her home and says worriedly, “Sister Yinxi, you’ve been absent-minded all day. Are you feeling unwell? Should we go to the hospital for a check-up?”
Hospital⦠Does this hospital have her Dr. Jian? Would Dr. Jian still want to go to a place like a hospital?
“Sister Yinxi? Sis!” Assistant Xiao Tan waves her hand vigorously in front of her, “What’s wrong with you?”
“I⦔ Lu Yinxi’s lips move, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to say.
She can barely distinguish whether this is a dream, or if her Jian Qing was a dream.
Zhuangzi dreaming of a butterfly? Or a butterfly dreaming of Zhuangzi?
Lu Yinxi says to Xiao Tan, “Iβ¦ I’m fine, you go home and restβ¦ I had a nightmare last night, I haven’t quite recovered from it⦔
Was it a nightmare?
No, it wasn’t.
In this life, she has never had such a beautiful dream.
“Then you should rest well tonight. You don’t have any schedules for the next week, I’ll come over to cook for you.”
Cookingβ¦
Jian Qing was also a good cook, her food was deliciousβ¦
It seems she could do anything well, even things she wasn’t initially good at, after putting in effort and practice, she would become skilledβ¦
“Sis, did you hear me?” The assistant waves her hand again, “You’re making me worried. Seeing you so lost, did you secretly fall in love and then get your heart broken without telling us? The team has repeatedly stressed that you’re not allowed to date yet.”
“I’m 25 years old⦔ Lu Yinxi finally weakly protests.
She’s 25 now, how can they still not allow her to date?
She did participate in a talent show, but she’s transitioned to being an actress now.
“Okay, okay, you say you can date, you can date β so you really are in love? Who’s the guy, is he in the industry or outside? You should tell the team, in case it gets out, so we can all be prepared to respond.”
Lu Yinxi remains silent.
It’s not a man, it’s a woman, a doctorβ¦
Doctorβ¦
Lu Yinxi seems to remember something.
“Sis?” Assistant Xiao Tan looks at her worriedly.
“I need to go home for a while, to see my mother. You can take a vacation too, you don’t need to follow me.”
She packs her luggage overnight and books the earliest available flight back to her hometown.
The residential compound still has the tube-shaped apartment buildings from the end of the last century, without elevators. Many neighbors have already moved out to live in high-rise buildings.
If Gu Mingyu wanted to move, she could have moved too.
But this place holds memories of her and her husband Lu Ming, so she’s reluctant to leave.
Back at the tube-shaped building, Lu Yinxi takes out her key.
The key in her hand can still open the security door and the rosewood door at the entrance.
Pushing open the door, there’s no one at home.
Gu Mingyu is rarely home.
Lu Yinxi drags her luggage towards her small bedroom.
The floor of the bedroom is covered with a thick layer of dust.
She steps in, then hurriedly steps out.
It might be better to just sleep on the sofa for the night.
The scene of daily cleaning the daughter’s room and nightly hoping for the daughter’s early return home is not something that would happen with Gu Mingyu.
After putting away her luggage and quickly freshening up, Lu Yinxi puts on a mask and hat, then goes to the Cardiothoracic Surgery Department at the hospital to find Gu Mingyu.
As soon as she enters the department, she heads straight for the director’s office.
There’s no one in the director’s office, but someone comes out of the head nurse’s office next door and stops her: “Hey, who are you? Don’t go in there! The director is in surgery. If you need to see a doctor, go to the doctors’ office.”
Lu Yinxi looks at the head nurse and pulls down her mask: “Aunt Cheng, it’s me, Xiaolu, Lu Yinxi. There are too many people in the doctors’ office, so I came here to hide for a bit.”
This Nurse Cheng, when she was still a young nurse working night shifts, was already working in this hospital with Gu Mingyu.
Sometimes when Lu Ming was on business trips, Gu Mingyu would bring her to the department to look after her. When Gu Mingyu had to perform surgery at night, she would ask Aunt Cheng to watch over her.
After Lu Ming passed away, Gu Mingyu thought she was too young to care for properly, so she sent her back to her hometown.
It wasn’t until she was ten years old, when her grandmother passed away, that she was brought back.
After turning ten, she would run to the Cardiothoracic Surgery Department almost every week, sometimes to bring food for Gu Mingyu, sometimes to ask for pocket money.
The long-time staff in the department all watched her grow up. Remembering that she lost her father at a young age and was raised by a single mother, they took extra care of her.
Aunt Cheng recognizes Lu Yinxi and also pulls down her mask, patting her shoulder forcefully: “You naughty child! You’ve been gone for so many years, and you still remember to come back?”
Lu Yinxi is pulled into the head nurse’s office, where they chat over tea, water, and snacks. As it nears the end of the work day, the older staff who are free receive messages from Head Nurse Cheng and rush to the office.
Gu Mingyu finishes her surgery, leaving the patient’s wound for her assistant to suture, and rushes over quickly.
As she approaches the department, she slows her pace, hesitating whether to go over.
She really wants to see, but inexplicably feels a bit timid, afraid to look.
She paces back and forth at the department entrance several times, finally makes up her mind, and slowly walks over with her hands behind her back.
Lu Yinxi is surrounded by a group of directors and deputy directors, who are warmly greeting her.
Seeing Gu Mingyu walk in with her hands behind her back, Lu Yinxi stands up and actively calls out: “Momβ”
Gu Mingyu looks at her coldly, glancing sideways: “Don’t call me mom, I’m not your mom!”
Lu Yinxi stands still, fidgeting with the hem of her clothes helplessly.
The head nurse pulls Gu Mingyu over and says irritably: “The child just came back, what kind of talk is that! What’s wrong with you!” Then she pulls Lu Yinxi over and explains, “Don’t listen to your mom’s nonsense. When you weren’t here, she talked about you the most. When your first TV drama aired, she recommended your show to all the patients in the ward. At that time, when we did our rounds, from bed 1 to bed 45, we could watch a complete episode of your show! Last year when your movie was released, she even invited our department to a private screening!”
Lu Yinxi looks at Gu Mingyu, whose hair is now half white, hesitates for a moment, then musters up the courage and calls out again: “Mom.”
Gu Mingyu looks her up and down, her gaze somewhat disapproving, and asks: “Have you eaten lunch? How many meals do you eat a day? You’ve become so skinny⦔
Lu Yinxi pinches her own arm, feeling there’s still a bit of flesh.
“I haven’t had lunch yet. Should we eat at the cafeteria, or go home to eat?”
Eat at the cafeteria, or go home to eat.
This was the question she most often asked Gu Mingyu when she was little.
Gu Mingyu goes to a nearby supermarket, buys fresh shrimp and live fish, and cooks herself.
Lu Yinxi assists her on the side.
The mother and daughter put aside their differences and chat casually in the kitchen.
As they talk, Gu Mingyu asks Lu Yinxi: “Have you been mistreated out there? If the work out there isn’t good, don’t do it anymore. Come back here, I’ll arrange a job for you.”
Parents often think that children who have been away from home only come back when they’ve been wronged.
Lu Yinxi, who is peeling onions, suddenly has tears in her eyes, and her voice becomes a bit shaky: “I haven’t been mistreatedβ¦ I just wanted to come home and see⦔
She almost thought she would never see Gu Mingyu again in this life.
Gu Mingyu glances at her daughter’s reddened eyes, thinking her daughter is just being stubborn and unwilling to admit she’s been mistreated outside.
She smashes the garlic on the chopping board: “If you miss home, then stay at home. I can afford to feed one more mouth in the house.”
Lu Yinxi responds with a soft “mm-hmm.”
After a while, she asks: “Mom, you’re also involved in the lung cancer field and often participate in national academic activities. I want to ask, is there a female doctor in our country called ‘Jian Qing’ or ‘Ruan Qing’? She mainly focuses on lung cancer research, in oncology, possibly in her 20s or early 30s, probably not over 40, likely an attending physician or associate chief physician. If you don’t know, could you ask Uncle Zhao from the police station to help me look into it?”
The author has something to say:
Hand on your heart, tell me, is this angst? Clearly, I’m creating an opportunity for them to be together forever~~~
*Mini theater
Director Gu: I can afford to feed one more mouth in the house.
Dr. Jian: I can afford it too.
Lu: Outwardly touched QAQ, inwardly: I can afford to support both of you!
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