Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 61
by Little PandaSummer Vacation (Part 2)
Yan Xi pulled her gaze away from Anzhi and glanced at Liu Yiyi with a smile. As was tradition, no matter what topic Liu Yiyi started on, it would eventually turn to Yan Yixi.
Sure enough, she said, “The bashfulness of young love is rare, but Yan Yixi is even rarer. He…”
“I know, I know,” Yan Xi laughed. “Yes, my second brother is the best in the whole world.”
Liu Yiyi laughed too, leaning closer. “We went on a date last week. I think I misjudged Yan Yixi before.”
“Oh?”
“I used to think he had low emotional intelligence, that he was clueless about everything except his studies! I’d originally asked him out for French food, and I figured he’d just show up in his usual T-shirt and slacks. But guess what? He came in a proper suit—the one from Gucci’s Spring/Summer collection this year, the double-breasted, dark blue plaid jacket with a tiger head on the back! Oh my god!”
“He paired it with a white shirt, ironed perfectly straight. The whole outfit just stunned me, left me speechless. I asked if Yan Yinan had picked it out for him.”
“He said no, he chose it himself.”
“I was floored. I asked him what he liked about it, because Gucci suits can be so flashy. I thought he’d prefer something more understated, a solid color. Who would’ve thought he’d go for this one, with the dark blue, the plaid, and a tiger head with roses and letters on the back.”
“And guess what he said!” Liu Yiyi’s face flushed red.
“What did he say?” Yan Xi played along, smiling.
“He said when he saw the suit, it reminded him of the line, ‘In me, the tiger sniffs the rose.’1 And then he just… smiled at me. I nearly fainted right then and there!”
Liu Yiyi cupped her face, looking like she still wanted to scream.
“So romantic! So this is the real Yan Yixi! Hehehe…” Liu Yiyi smiled so broadly her eyes disappeared.2
Yan Xi covered her mouth and laughed along.
Watching Liu Yiyi, she thought, this must be what it’s like to be immersed in love. This state of being anxious over every little thing,3 of taking his joy as your joy and his sorrow as your sorrow, of being able to savor a single piece of candy from him for days on end—what did that actually feel like?
It seemed she’d had a similar feeling many years ago. But what was that feeling now?
The two kids in the living room seemed to be arguing.
“Hey, Anzhi, can you explain it to me again?”
“This problem is exactly the same as the one I just explained! I practically read the question to you. Were you even listening?”
“I was, I was…”
“Yan Xiao Pang, be serious!”
“I’m not Xiao Pang anymore. Look, my stomach is all muscle!” Yan Xiao Pang declared with utmost seriousness, lifting the hem of his shirt to show off the results of his workouts.
Anzhi was speechless.
The conversation drew the attention of the two adults. Liu Yiyi let out a “pfft” of laughter. “So that’s what Xiao Pang’s been focused on…”
Yan Xi pressed her fingers to her forehead again.
Over on the couch, Anzhi shot him a glare. “I don’t want to see. Just hurry up and do these two problems!”
Yan Xiao Pang put on a cheeky grin.4 “Alright, alright, I’ll do them. Don’t be mad.”
Just then, Junjun came running over on unsteady little legs, calling out softly, “Jiejie, An… jiejie…”
Anzhi stood up and walked over to him, bending down with her arms outstretched to catch him. As she moved, her two legs, fair as white lotus roots,5 were exposed beneath her skirt. Behind her, Yan Xiao Pang snuck a furtive glance under her skirt.
Liu Yiyi chuckled. “My, my, a man’s tricks start when he’s just a little tyke, don’t they… Anything to get a girl’s attention.”
Yan Xi let out a slow breath and shook her head.
Anzhi picked Junjun up and sat him on her lap.
Junjun’s cheeks were chubby. He wore tiny clothes and a bib around his neck. His round eyes stared at Anzhi, his little mouth half-open and glistening as if he wanted to speak.
“Sit tight.” Anzhi smiled at him. “Look at me, look at me…” She covered her face with her hands and cried, “Meow, meow, meow!” Then, keeping her hands in place, she suddenly peeked out from the left.
Junjun let out an “Oh!” and burst into laughter.
Anzhi covered her face again, this time barking, “Woof, woof, woof!” and peeked out from the right. Junjun giggled.
The big one and the little one kept making funny faces at each other. The sound of their soft, crisp, innocent laughter was ceaseless, seeming to ripple through the air with echoes that made you feel as if all the world’s troubles could be forgiven.
Liu Yiyi rested her chin on her hand, unable to stop herself from smiling along with them. “…Ah, kids are so much fun… so cute…”
“Hey, can you imagine what my and Yan Yixi’s future kid will look like? Hehe,” she said, lost in her own happy thoughts.
“Hm?” Hearing no reply, Liu Yiyi turned to glance at her.
Yan Xi was watching the two of them playing, a smile on her lips.
Liu Yiyi didn’t think much of it at first. She took a sip of water and laughed. “See? Aren’t kids adorable?”
“…” Yan Xi seemed to let out a soft hum.
Liu Yiyi glanced at her again, a little puzzled. Yan Xi’s gaze was still fixed in that direction, only… she suddenly realized. Yan Xi’s eyes weren’t on Yan Junjun. They were on… Anzhi.
That night, Yan Xi went to check on Anzhi in her room. Now that she was older, she needed her own room at the Yan Family Old Residence.
When she reached the door, she found Yan Xiao Pang hovering there, talking to Anzhi.
“Hey, add me on WeChat.”
“Anzhi, let’s play Honor of Kings together.”6
Yan Xi walked over and twisted his ear.
“Ah! Ow, ow, ow, Little Aunt.”
“Go back to your room.”
“Little Aunt!”
“Do you want your dad to confiscate your phone?”
After shooing Yan Xiao Pang away, Yan Xi knocked on the door. “Taotao.”
Anzhi ran to open it. She was wearing a set of pink and blue plaid pajamas—a camisole and shorts. The camisole’s shoulder straps were tied in butterfly bows, and the shorts were loose and comfortable.
She had been piling pillows onto her bed.
Yan Xi came in, saw the scene, and laughed. “How many pillows are you planning to use…”
“My plush dolls aren’t here.”
Yan Xi smiled. She took the air conditioner remote, set the temperature, and watched as Anzhi jumped onto the bed, nearly disappearing into the mountain of pillows.
“Sleep early,” Yan Xi said. “We’re going for a morning run tomorrow.”
“Huh?” Anzhi’s face emerged from the pile, utterly shocked.
A mischievous smile played on Yan Xi’s lips. She went over and ruffled Anzhi’s hair. “What ‘huh’? We’re just running around the neighborhood. It’s settled.”
Anzhi was about to protest, but from her perspective looking up, she saw the slight curve of Yan Xi’s lips, felt the touch of her smooth, warm palm, and met her gentle, smiling eyes.
She instantly forgot how to object.
It wasn’t until Yan Xi had left the room and the matter was decided that Anzhi covered her face with her hands. “Aww…”
Although Yan Xi had told her not to stay up too late on her phone, Anzhi was a little too excited tonight. With some free time these past few days, she had discovered a novel online. She didn’t know where it was originally serialized, but after reading a one-sentence summary, she had downloaded it through less-than-honorable means.
The novel was called The Edge.
Anzhi switched on her desk lamp and held her phone, starting to read. At first, she didn’t have high hopes, assuming it would be another one of those books with prose she couldn’t quite grasp. But as she read on, her heart began to clench.
Then she grew puzzled. How did the protagonist, Chang Shan, know that she had fallen for her classmate’s mother? How did she know it was love?
With this question in mind, Anzhi kept reading, growing more and more awake. She read until she reached the lines: “She didn’t let go of my hand. Instead, she slowly wrapped her arms around me from behind… Then I felt her press a deep kiss to my back. I can’t describe the feeling; nothing I had ever experienced could compare. I still didn’t dare to move, but my heart was pounding wildly…”
Anzhi was so nervous she kept clutching the pillow in her arms.
“My T-shirt was taken off, leaving me in just my camisole…”
“She pushed me down onto the bed, kissing my cheeks, my lips, my neck. She was so domineering, completely unlike her usual self. I had always thought a first kiss would be tentative, gentle, and shy. I never imagined my first time being kissed would be like this. She kissed me feverishly, sometimes even biting me…”
Anzhi rolled over, took a shaky breath, unconsciously swallowed, and hugged the pillow tighter.
“Her hand slid inside my camisole, and my whole body trembled…”
Anzhi gasped. Just then, her arm, which had been holding up the phone for so long, gave out, and it fell.
Only then did she realize how tense she was. Her heart was beating so fast it hurt.
So… so it can be like that?
You can be kissed like that?
It can be like that between women?
Before this, Anzhi had only ever seen heterosexual couples at school kissing.
Anzhi bit her lip, her face burning hot. It took a long time for her to calm down enough to continue reading the book. At one point, her eyes grew moist with tears.
The ending was a happy one.
Under the orange glow of the lamp, Anzhi lay with her head pillowed on her arm, lost in thought. She felt as though she had taken a huge leap forward from her state of hazy understanding, and now understood some things she hadn’t before.
She didn’t know how long she thought. In a daze, ashamed to admit it, with a hint of torment, she fantasized. She imagined that hand, the one that only ever ruffled her hair, sliding down her cheek to untie the butterfly bow on her shoulder. Then she seemed to hear the voice of the hand’s owner, calling her name gently: “Taotao…” That familiar face slowly leaned down.
“Ah!” Anzhi suddenly snapped awake and covered her face. After a moment, she peeked out from under the covers, her cheeks flushed.
A strange sense of disappointment settled in her heart.
Because Yan Xi had never kissed her. Just that one time, and it was on the forehead. It had been so long ago she could barely remember it anymore.
She tossed and turned for a long time in this mix of shame, frustration, and disappointment, and had no idea when she finally fell asleep.
The next day, when Yan Xi entered the room, Anzhi was fast asleep. She was nestled in a fortress of pillows, sleeping on her side. Her shorts had ridden up, exposing the full length of one slender, fair leg, her foot resting against the duvet. The butterfly bow on her exposed shoulder was loose and askew, revealing the delicate skin from her shoulder to her collarbone.
Yan Xi watched her in silence for a moment, abandoning the thought of waking her for their morning run.
She turned and took a few steps toward the door, then turned back. Reaching out, she retied the butterfly bow. Her hand brushed over Anzhi’s body, then paused suddenly, her knuckles caressing her skin for a moment.
After she had done this, Yan Xi smiled silently to herself and finally left the room.
The author has something to say:
I read the book The Edge five years ago, and it’s a book that has left a deep impression on me to this day. I don’t know where it was serialized, or when it was from.
I don’t even know who the author is. I suppose I read a pirated copy, and I don’t know where I can go to show my appreciation.
I really love this book.
Footnotes
- Original: xīn yǒu měnghǔ, xì xiù qiángwēi. This is a very famous Chinese translation of a line from the English poet Siegfried Sassoon’s poem ‘In Me, Past, Present, Future Meet.’ It evokes the idea of a powerful or fierce person having a gentle, sensitive side.
- Original: jiàn yá bù jiàn yǎn, literally ‘to see teeth but not eyes.’ A vivid idiom for a huge, happy smile that makes one’s eyes crinkle up.
- Original: huàndéhuànshī, an idiom meaning to be preoccupied with personal gains and losses; to be insecure and anxious.
- Original: xīpíxiàoliǎn, an idiom literally meaning ‘playful skin, smiling face.’ It describes a playful, sometimes flippant or goofy, expression.
- The white, smooth, and segmented appearance of a peeled lotus root (bái ǒu) is often used in Chinese literature as a flattering comparison for a woman’s fair arms or legs.
- The name used here is Wángzhě Nóngyào (王者农药), a common pun on the game’s official title, Wángzhě Róngyào (王者荣耀). The character for ‘honor’ (róngyào) is replaced with the homophone for ‘pesticide’ (nóngyào).
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