Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 98
by Little PandaVolume 3: Transition
Death
Perhaps his life would have been different
The bullet shell had been polished smooth, carrying a warm metallic luster. Lu Qingshi held it in her hand for a while, undid the clasp, tied it around her neck, and tucked it neatly into her sweater. She pondered that since Gu Yanzhi had given her things, maybe she should give something in return to show her feelings, especially since this shell was the one that had nearly pierced her heart – it held great significance for her.
Gu Yanzhi put the warmed milk on the dining table: “Qingshi, ready? We need to hurry and eat before work.”
She quickly tied her hair and came out of the bathroom: “Ready, what’s for breakfast?”
“Fried eggs and avocado sandwich.” She preferred Western-style breakfast, so Gu Yanzhi had followed local customs.
Sure enough, she took a bite of the sandwich and showed a content smile.
“Is it good?”
“Mm!”
After eating, Gu Yanzhi packed a fruit box into her bag: “Remember to eat it later, I put the salad in your side pocket.”
Lu Qingshi answered in a drawn-out voice: “Got it, hurry up and change so we can leave!”
Gu Yanzhi picked up the car keys from the table, took her bag, quickly put on shoes, and pulled her out the door.
“Let’s go.”
As their car slowly left the residential area, Qin Xuan also came downstairs, still having some employment paperwork to handle – she needed to go to the hospital today.
In the early morning alley, there were scattered pedestrians. Qin Xuan bought a jianbing (traditional Chinese breakfast crepe) with egg from a familiar street vendor, eating while walking. Just as she was about to exit the narrow lane, someone suddenly grabbed her neck from behind, pressing a cold sharp object against her waist.
“Mmph…” Before she could struggle, she was knocked unconscious with a karate chop. Two or three people came out from a room and carried her to a car, all hands on deck.
A cargo van full of goods slowly drove out of the alley and onto the highway.
“Ring ring—” The phone alarm went off, and Yu Gui groggily reached out to feel for it, but instantly became alert when she looked at the phone.
“Have you missed me after being offline for so long?” It was a message from Fang Zhiyou that she hadn’t replied to yesterday, with a female game character as the profile picture.
Although she knew it was immoral, Yu Gui couldn’t help but scroll up through several pages. There was nothing special, just daily chat, game discussions, mixed with some playful teasing, but these ordinary conversations made her eyes well up.
She and Fang Zhiyou didn’t even talk this much every day, yet here she was, having pleasant conversations with a stranger.
“Mmm… are you going to work?” Fang Zhiyou rolled over, rubbing her eyes.
Yu Gui quickly picked up her phone and turned off the alarm: “Yeah, you get some more sleep.”
Qin Xuan was jolted awake, the cargo compartment giving off a musty smell. She was tied to a container, mouth sealed with tape. When she struggled slightly, someone came over and grabbed her jaw, pressing a cold knife against her neck.
“Don’t move, behave yourself.”
Qin Xuan swallowed, shrinking back. The person wore a baseball cap and their face wasn’t visible in the dim light, but they gently removed the tape from her mouth and spoke in a lowered voice.
“Miss Qin, I’m from Captain Xiang’s team, please cooperate with us.”
She had agreed to help lure Old Bao out, but who knew it would be in such an extreme way. Qin Xuan wanted to curse their ancestors for ten generations (a common Chinese expression for extreme anger): “Mmph…”
Before she could speak, her mouth was sealed again.
“Team A has reached designated position”
“Received”
“Team B has arrived”
“Team C in position”
Uniform voices came through the earpiece as Xiang Nanke put on her bulletproof vest, loaded her gun, and tucked it into the holster: “Move out!”
“Boss, we can’t go, I suspect this is a trap set by Hei Long’s people.”
In an abandoned factory in the suburbs, Bao Fengnian sat on an oil drum smoking, his brows deeply furrowed as he watched a video on his phone, while his men earnestly tried to persuade him.
Recently, Jinzhou police had intensified their anti-drug efforts, destroying several of their trading spots. The KTV that Xiang Nanke’s team had raided was their meeting point with another gang. Bao Fengnian had received advance warning and didn’t go, but the other gang’s second-in-command was caught red-handed by police. Their grudge was understandable, but using a woman was too despicable.
He had fought his way through both black and white paths (legal and illegal) since youth, and had seen plenty of these people’s ruthlessness. The thought of what might happen to Qin Xuan in their hands made him shudder.
“Boss, Fan Jiang Long from Hei Long’s group has been captured for so long, he might have already turned police informant. We only have these few ride-or-die brothers left, we absolutely can’t go!”
Days of hiding had left everyone looking ragged, many brothers bearing injuries. Bao Fengnian blew out a smoke ring, his gaze slowly sweeping over their faces, some young and fresh, others unshaven.
In the opened video, Qin Xuan was screaming, tied to an electric chair, while a tattooed burly man carrying a package of white powder walked toward her.
Bao Fengnian violently crushed his cigarette on the ground: “F*ck it, let’s do this!”
“Boss, Boss, you can’t go!” He pushed open the factory’s heavy iron door, and a group of men crawled out on their knees before him, his longest-serving brother kowtowing.
“If we just keep heading south and cross the border, no one can catch us. We can have any women we want then! Boss, don’t be foolish! That woman’s life is just a life, but we brothers have fought life and death with you for so many years!”
Bao Fengnian helped him up, his usually refined face showing a rare murderous intent.
“Bring out the stuff.”
Two large boxes of US dollars, and one box of white powder and new drugs.
He paced back and forth smoking: “You’re right, I can’t let my brothers follow me to their death. Take this money and split it. From now on, we each go our own way, fate will decide our fortunes. As for these goods, I can’t give them to you, I need them to exchange for her with Hei Long’s group.”
“Boss!!!” The tough-as-nails man (idiom meaning strong and unyielding) broke down crying.
Bao Fengnian loaded his gun and fired a shot into the air: “Anyone who says another word dies!”
“What’s wrong, feeling hesitant?”
Even knowing it was just ordinary flour, Xiang Nanke’s hand trembled as she held onto the table. She shook her head, forcing herself to stay focused.
Chief Li personally oversaw this ambush, patting her shoulder: “Don’t worry, civilian safety comes first no matter what. Unless absolutely necessary, I won’t give the order to shoot.”
This was an abandoned fishing ground, right next to a seaside dock. Salty sea breeze wafted over, dead fish floated by the shore, and not a soul was in sight. A few sailboats were moored in the dilapidated dock, with snipers lying in wait on a nearby island. Cold waves slapped against the shore as dusk approached early.
“Bao Fengnian, you turtle’s grandson (Chinese insult), if you’ve got the guts, be a withdrawn turtle (coward) your whole life! You can’t even protect your woman, what’s the point of living! Such a shame this woman as beautiful as flowers and jade got ruined by you!” The man laughed loudly, showing his yellow teeth, taking selfies while pulling her hair as they walked onto the pier. The old wooden structure creaked, and waves lapped at her skirt.
Even knowing this was all an act, Qin Xuan felt scared, squirming uneasily. She knew many people were watching her – Xiang Nanke, Bao Fengnian. Her eyes reddened at the screen, unable to speak through the black tape on her mouth, only shaking her head desperately.
Bao Fengnian understood – she was telling him not to come. He stepped on the gas, his pickup truck breaking through the fishing ground’s gate, kicking up yellow sand before stopping on the beach.
He slammed the car door, loaded his gun, and walked over step by step carrying a leather case.
“Don’t touch her. I brought what you want, let her go.”
“Target spotted.” Xiang Nanke rolled into a small shed behind the fishing ground, while other detectives scattered around, surrounding the pier.
The man restraining her knew if he didn’t play this part well, his life was over – the police wouldn’t let him go, and the underworld even less so. So he acted with extra force, waving his blade.
“Tell us, did you conspire with the police to harm our boss! Pah! After all our boss’s trust in you, you ungrateful dog-birthed thing!”
Bao Fengnian pulled his lips into a smile, removed his sunglasses, and casually looked around. An eerie silence hung in the air, without even seagull cries. When his gaze returned to Qin Xuan, it carried extra meaning.
Qin Xuan both hoped he would come and hoped he wouldn’t – this contradictory feeling made her eyes redden, and she could no longer suppress the sob rising from deep in her throat.
“If I wasn’t being chased everywhere by cops, I’ve already shown up today, brought my sincerity, there’s US dollars in the case too – consider it an apology to your boss. Courtesy before force (idiom meaning to try peaceful methods before using force), if you still won’t release her—”
His hand secretly reached behind him, but before he could draw his gun, a loud gunshot split the sea’s horizon, someone screamed hoarsely: “Boss, run! That woman deceived you! This is a police trap!”
He turned hastily, blood sprayed everywhere – his longest-serving brother had wounded a detective but was shot full of holes, falling into a pool of blood.
“Big Head!” Bao Fengnian’s eyes nearly popped out, but there was no time for grief. More and more armed police rushed out – the men he brought were either dead or wounded. This was a trap set for him – what a perfect net to catch everyone at once!
Bao Fengnian whipped out his gun, eyes bloodshot, looking at Qin Xuan like he wanted to eat her alive (Chinese idiom meaning extreme hatred), the black gun barrel aimed at her.
Qin Xuan shook her head slightly, watching the human tragedy unfold before her, tears falling continuously.
Xiang Nanke finished subduing an armed drug dealer, cuffing him securely and pulling him up from the ground. She turned back hurriedly, just as a gunshot rang out.
It came from the pier, pain instantly seized her heart.
“Qin Xuan!” She sprinted forward, seeing the police undercover agent standing beside her swaying, blood blooming on his chest, falling backward into the sea.
The hot gun barrel pressed against her temple as Bao Fengnian, like a madman, choked her neck: “You ruined me, you ruined me! I was so good to you and you actually ruined me!”
Qin Xuan’s face turned deathly pale from the torture, feet off the ground, clawing at his hand while coughing continuously.
“Stop!” A sharp command rang out as Xiang Nanke raised her gun, aiming at his head.
“Release her, live. Don’t release, die.”
The sniper pulled back the bolt, slightly tightening their finger on the trigger.
He was waiting for a chance to take a fatal shot without harming the hostage.
Qin Xuan never imagined she’d face such a situation – on one side was the woman who had been intimate with her, on the other was the man she had once deeply loved.
She didn’t want either of them to get hurt, but this was destined to be a lose-lose deadlock.
Both raised their guns at each other’s heads from a distance.
Bao Fengnian’s hand tightly gripped her neck as he hid behind her, knowing that only Qin Xuan could save him now – this woman who could both ruin and save him.
“Sniper team, hold your fire,” Xiang Nanke commanded softly, taking another step forward on the wet pier where seawater had soaked her boots.
“Don’t come closer, or I’ll kill her!” The black gun barrel pressed against her temple again, and Qin Xuan felt utterly hopeless.
That despair made her heart ache too. Xiang Nanke began to regret dragging her into this trap. Without much hesitation, she lowered her gun and raised both hands, showing she was giving up any attack.
“Let her go, take me as your hostage instead. A chief detective is worth much more than her – you can negotiate with the city bureau…”
Chief Li’s furious roar came through the earpiece: “Xiang Nanke, are you crazy?!”
She yanked it out and threw it into the sea, her face calm.
“You came here because you’re someone who values relationships and loyalty,” she looked deeply at Qin Xuan, saying softly: “She didn’t love the wrong person.”
“Like you, I don’t want anything to happen to her, so take me as your hostage instead. Let her go.”
She took another step forward, and Bao Fengnian got agitated, pressing the gun harder against her temple until her fair forehead quickly turned red from the friction.
“Don’t try anything! Throw away all your weapons! Take off your bulletproof vest too!”
Xiang Nanke removed her helmet, casually tossing it aside, her short hair floating in the sea breeze. Then she undid her tactical vest and threw it into the sea, placed her combat knife on the ground, and turned around to show she had no protection left, wearing only a thin standard-issue shirt.
“Is this okay now?”
Bao Fengnian smiled, his eyes reddening slightly. He suddenly remembered seeing this woman at Qin Xuan’s home long ago. From that moment on, he and Qin Xuan had gradually grown apart. He never expected Qin Xuan would help the police lure him out, nor that this police officer would go to such lengths for her.
The pain of betrayal gripped his heart tightly, his internal organs beginning to twist in agony. Bao Fengnian choked her neck, grinding his teeth: “I gave you all the money I earned from licking blood from a knife’s edge (meaning: risking life), and this is how you repay me?!”
Xiang Nanke became agitated too: “Don’t hurt her, she had no choice! This has nothing to do with her. If you want to kill someone, kill me!”
“I’ll release her on one condition,” Bao Fengnian looked back at the endless sea, seagulls skimming the surface, the sunset enveloping them like a layer of blood.
“Get me a boat, plus diesel, water, and food.”
With these, he could escape to international waters, where Chinese police would be powerless against him.
But Xiang Nanke didn’t hesitate much, seeing Qin Xuan’s deathly pale face and weakening breath.
“Alright,” she nodded. “I’ll send someone to arrange it.”
Soon, a white sail rose on the horizon, and a speedboat appeared at the dock.
Bao Fengnian tapped her face with the gun barrel, smiling with satisfaction: “Looks like I didn’t choose the wrong mistress, you’re still somewhat useful.”
Seeing her struggling to breathe, he finally ripped off the tape from her mouth. Qin Xuan coughed desperately.
Bao Fengnian forced her head up, pressing the gun under her chin: “I don’t trust you as a hostage. Break your own arm first.”
Xiang Nanke looked at the gun on the ground, then at her face, taking a deep breath: “I hope you’ll keep your word.”
“No… don’t…” Watching her slowly raise the gun to her arm, Qin Xuan shook her head desperately, tears falling.
Was she crying for her?
Xiang Nanke smiled slightly, tightening her finger on the trigger: “Don’t let her watch.”
“No! Xiang Nanke, stop! You bastard, you scoundrel! Who asked you to save me! Just f*cking get lost!” Qin Xuan struggled as someone covered her eyes. A gunshot rang out, and her world went dark for a moment.
When she opened her eyes again, Xiang Nanke was kneeling on the ground, covered in blood, large beads of sweat on her forehead, lips bloodless, her whole body shaking.
“Is this… enough now?”
Bao Fengnian laughed loudly to the sky three times: “Very good, you’ve got guts! Come here.”
She stumbled to her feet, dropping the bloodied gun, each step scattering blood drops like blooming red spider lilies (flowers associated with death and parting in Asian culture).
Qin Xuan bit her lip and cried, struggling desperately, cursing with a choked voice: “You’re always so full of yourself, who the f*ck asked you to save me! Xiang Nanke, get lost! Get lost!!!! Don’t come here! Don’t come over…”
Seeing her tear-streaked face, Xiang Nanke gave a cold smile: “Don’t flatter yourself either. I told you protecting civilians is our police duty. I would do the same for anyone else today.”
The sailboat waited at the shore, loaded with diesel and fresh water. Bao Fengnian was satisfied. He looked deeply at the woman in his arms – even though he hated her to the bone, he never pulled the trigger.
He watched the police officer slowly approaching from a distance, gently undid the bindings on her wrists, his tone becoming unusually calm.
He said: “Go back, we’re not from the same world.”
Back to that glamorous world, while he would forever fall into the Avici Hell (Buddhist term for the deepest level of hell).
He pushed Qin Xuan away, and she stumbled forward a step, but suddenly grabbed his wrist and threw herself into his embrace.
“Old Bao…” she choked up: “Stop running, let’s turn ourselves in, okay? They’ll be lenient if we surrender. Think about your parents, and me… I’ll wait for you until you come out…”
Bao Fengnian raised his hand to gently stroke her hair, his eyes softening for a moment, but he knew there was no turning back now.
After Qin Xuan went to university in Beijing, he had thought about quitting this line of work, finding a stable job, saving money, and marrying her after she graduated.
But as an uneducated, older village boy, he hit walls everywhere looking for work. He realized he was good for nothing except eating, drinking, whoring, and gambling, and moreover, his old bosses came looking for him – someone who knew too many secrets either had to join them or be silenced.
He was knocked unconscious in a rainy alley one night, and one of his former underlings secretly came back to save him. Later, that person became his most capable subordinate. Until his death, he never knew his real name, only that he was called Big Head.
Part of why he sponsored Qin Xuan’s education was because he saw his past self in her – a pitiful background, the same unwilling-to-admit-defeat look in her eyes. The shame was that when he ended up on the streets due to poverty, he never met another version of himself.
If someone had sponsored his education back then, led him toward the light, perhaps his life would have been different.
But it was too late for all that now. Bao Fengnian gently cupped her face, wiping away her tears.
“Silly child, don’t cry. Go back and work hard, don’t waste your education. If you meet someone who needs help in the future, help them, okay?”
Qin Xuan nodded, her hot tears falling into the crook of his neck. Bao Fengnian’s heart softened for a moment, and in that split second of distraction, someone pushed him back a step, waves lapping at his trouser legs, as Qin Xuan held onto his arm.
He didn’t know where she got such strength from – he couldn’t push her away. Xiang Nanke also noticed something was wrong and stood up from the ground, gritting her teeth.
“Qin Xuan, come here quickly, don’t be foolish!”
In that split second (literally: ‘speaking of slowness but happening quickly’ – a Chinese idiom meaning things happened in an instant), the hard gun barrel pressed against her chest. Bao Fengnian gently held the trigger, grinding his teeth: “I don’t want to do this. Let me go.”
Seeing the dangerous situation, Xiang Nanke pulled out her backup gun from her combat boot, loaded it, and rushed forward.
Qin Xuan looked back once, her lips curling slightly, her pure white dress floating in the wind. She became one with the entire sea, waves and blood color rushing into her vision.
A piercing gunshot split the sky, seagulls circled above the sea surface, unwilling to leave for a long time.
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