Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 62
by Little PandaVolume 2: Inheritance
Self-Discipline
I was once naive and reckless to the point of viewing death as going home, until I met you, only then did I begin to long for a long life of a hundred years.
Just as Fang Zhiyou was about to bring a small pot of porridge she had cooked for Yu Gui to the hospital dormitory, the young doctor was doing rounds with the department head. Lu Qingshi walked in front, while Yu Gui, wearing a brand new white coat, followed beside her. She held a medical record folder in her hand and wore a green badge on her chest. If not answering Lu Qingshi’s every question perfectly, she at least managed to respond to each one.
After a while, Lu Qingshi nodded with satisfaction. The accompanying group felt relieved, and Yu Gui quietly let out a breath.
“Xiao⦔ She (Fang Zhiyou) stepped forward with the thermos, when suddenly a stretcher rushed past her.
“Make way, a drowning patient just brought in by 120”
Yu Gui didn’t notice her, casually tossing the medical record folder into the arms of a passing nurse: “Quick, quick, send to rescue room number one”
The door of the rescue room closed before her eyes. Lu Qingshi put on her gloves and began clearing the patient’s airway of foreign objects, while Yu Gui quickly established intravenous access.
“Prepare for endotracheal intubation”
“Teacher Lu, let me do it”
Lu Qingshi paused her chest compressions. Yu Gui leaned over the head of the bed and swiftly inserted the laryngoscope and endotracheal tube into the patient’s throat, then removed the stylet and secured it in place.
The sequence of actions was performed smoothly and beautifully, clearly the result of many practice sessions. Even her bedhead was covered with surgical knots of various sizes. Her Xiaogui was truly working hard.
Fang Zhiyou stood outside the door, watching from afar through a small glass pane.
“Excuse me, please make way. This is a critical rescue area, unauthorized personnel cannot linger”
The medical staff rushing back and forth were all neatly dressed, uniformly wearing work badges. Even in the hospital, there was no clamor or noise. The corridors and passageways were bright and clean, and even the voice advising her to leave was polite yet distant.
Fang Zhiyou took a step back, suddenly feeling out of place here.
This was Yu Gui’s world, one completely unfamiliar to her.
Her mental image of hospitals was still stuck on the night before the college entrance exam ten years ago, in that cramped and stuffy township health clinic filled with the smell of disinfectant and the odor of human excrement.
“Oh, alright,” she turned and took a few steps, then suddenly seemed to remember something: “Oh, right, could you please help me give this to Yu Gui, Dr. Yu from the Emergency Department?”
Thinking it was just another patient coming to show appreciation, the young nurse was unfazed: “Sure, no problem. Dr. Yu is quite popular, huh?”
Fang Zhiyou paused in her steps: “Do people often bring her things?”
“Not too often, but every now and then there are patients who come to give flowers, gifts, or honorary banners. After all, she’s our Director Lu’s disciple. If you don’t look at the monk’s face, look at the Buddha’s face, right? Besides, apart from sometimes being a bit scatterbrained, Dr. Yu is quite attentive to patients.”
Seeing that although her attire wasn’t particularly fashionable, her manner of speaking was quite pleasant, the young nurse was happy to chat a bit more.
“Alright, you’d better go now, or security will come to chase people away soon.”
“Okay,” Fang Zhiyou nodded in gratitude, “Thank you for your trouble.”
She couldn’t remember how she finally left the hospital. In her mind, there was only a vague, muddled thought that made her both sad and heartbroken.
The person who used to follow closely behind her now had another direction to pursue.
Her Xiaogui had finally grown up.
“Oh my, which admirer sent this food? Come on, share a bite with your good sister here,” Hao Renjie shamelessly approached, lifting the lid of her thermos in one swift motion.
“Wow, eight-treasure porridge! Today’s a lucky day⦔ Yu Gui angrily chased after him, pounding his head, and only after much persuasion did she manage to snatch the porridge back.
“This was made by my partner, why should I give you any? Hmph!”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, the sour stench of love,” Hao Renjie smacked his lips as he walked to the water dispenser to get a cup of hot water for his dry bread.
“Alright, alright, bring your lunch box here.”
Even though they bickered and argued every day, Yu Gui still gave him half of the nutritious porridge, and she had extra baozi, so she gave him two.
Hao Renjie slapped her shoulder forcefully: “Brother hasn’t wasted his love on you!”
If she let that mountain-toppling, sea-overturning slap land, it would be the end of her. Yu Gui quickly slid her chair away: “Did you break up with that one from last time?”
“Which one from last time? Do you mean Sora Aoi, Matsushima Kaede, Maria Ozawa, or Yui Hatano?” (LP: For research purposes, I searched who these people are and ahh… they’re Japanese p*rnstars)
Yu Gui gave him a sidelong glance while drinking her porridge: “You dead gay, can you stop pretending to be straight?”
“What gay or not gay,” Hao Renjie sat on the sofa armrest, pointing at her with his orchid finger: “Your daddy here is what you call a face-sexual, understand? I like all the good-looking ones.”
Yu Gui’s face was expressionless: “Oh, Teacher Lu is good-looking too.”
Hao Renjie thought of her cold face and suddenly felt out of character, a chill running through him: “She’sβ¦ just average, I tell you. Women should be as gentle as water to be beautiful⦔
“Oh, am I not beautiful?”
“If you could be a bit gentler, smile more, and lower your voice a bit in the operating room⦔ Halfway through his sentence, he suddenly realized something was wrong. He sprang up in an instant, his face turning pale, his whole body trembling.
“Siβ¦ Sisβ¦ Sister Lu, hello!”
“Hello, very good,” Lu Qingshi’s expression remained unchanged as she handed him the medical record folder: “Go change the medication for bed thirteen.”
Hao Renjie took it as if granted amnesty, fleeing the scene like the wind. A light, floating sentence followed him from behind.
“I remember you don’t have any night shifts this month, right? Switch with Xiaowang, she’s not feeling well due to her recent pregnancy, be considerate.”
Hao Renjie’s movements froze, nearly falling flat on his face like a dog eating dirt. He turned around with a mournful expression: “Sister Lu⦔
“I’ve already reported it to the medical affairs office for you. Go on, get busy.”
“What about my night shift allowance?”
“It’ll be counted under Xiaowang’s name.”
Hao Renjie ran away crying, clutching his chest.
Yu Gui was as silent as a cicada in winter, curling herself into a ball, praying, “Don’t see me, don’t see me.”
Lu Qingshi still tapped on her desk: “Come to my office for a moment.”
Department heads and above had their own independent offices. For Yu Gui, it was a place of doom. She had stood there countless times, being scolded until she was covered in dog’s blood. As soon as she entered, she felt the cold wind blowing, thinking, “My life won’t last much longer.”
Lu Qingshi sat down in the chair, her white coat hanging loosely on her body. She made herself a cup of tea, calm and composed.
“Will you confess yourself, or should I ask the public security organs to investigate?”
Yu Gui wanted to cry but had no tears left. Most likely, the cat was out of the bag. Fearing Lu Qingshi might hit her, she put her hands together above her head, just short of kneeling down before her.
I told you it wouldn’t work!
Captain Gu, you’ve really done me in!
“Iβ¦ Iβ¦ I’ll tell! It’s just thatβ¦ ah⦔ She spoke for a long time, stumbling and stuttering, her tongue tied in knots, unable to utter a single complete sentence.
Lu Qingshi rubbed her brow, seeming a bit impatient: “Alright, get out of here.”
“Oh⦔ Yu Gui shuffled slowly to the door, suddenly turning around to give her a deep bow.
“I’m sorry, Teacher Lu. I know I was wrong.”
“What was wrong?” Lu Qingshi was editing something on her phone, not looking up at her.
“I shouldn’t have altered the medical records.”
“This is an illegal act. I don’t want to see it happen a second time,” Lu Qingshi put down her phone, her expression a bit cold, a bit sharp.
Yu Gui knew she was in the wrong, but Gu Yanzhi’s original intention wasn’t bad either.
“Then, about Captain Gu’s injury⦔
“I’ve known about it for a long time,” Lu Qingshi’s tone was indifferent, her gaze shifting to empty space.
“But medical care is medical care, there’s no room for even the slightest fabrication. No matter who the patient is or what reasons there might be, it’s not an excuse for a doctor to alter medical records due to personal feelings.”
Yu Gui became serious: “Thank you, Teacher Lu.”
She seemed extremely tired, the recent overwork had made her even thinner. Curled up in the chair, she had a delicate beauty that seemed as if she could be blown away by the wind.
But Yu Gui knew that her inner strength was not as fragile as her outward appearance.
So as she turned to leave, she thought for a moment and still said something that a student shouldn’t say.
“Teacher Lu, I think Captain Gu is really good to youβ”
Before she could finish, a hefty γSurgeryγ textbook flew out of the office and hit her on the back of her head.
Yu Gui let out a painful cry, falling into the arms of a passing nurse sister, and ran away crying as well.
“One hundred, one hundred and one, one hundred and two, one hundred and threeβ¦ two hundred⦔ She continued doing push-ups until she reached over two hundred, but Gu Yanzhi still didn’t get up. Not until the phone placed beside her rang, with Lu Qingshi’s name lighting up on the screen.
She had sent a text message: “Off work? Meet at Hongru Archery Hall.”
Gu Yanzhi rolled over and got up quickly, hurriedly typing: “Coming right away!”
It had been a long time since she’d done archery. Lu Qingshi was warming up outside the range. The attendant brought her exclusive bow and arrows, along with a drink.
“Please enjoy, Miss Lu.”
She took the bow and arrow, aligned the three points, and hit the bullseye on her first shot, earning a round of cheers.
Gu Yanzhi stood at the doorway with her sports bag, perking up: “I’ll join too.”
Lu Qingshi handed her own bow to her: “Use mine.”
Her custom recurve bow was a bit longer than usual, with a body made of heavy metal, painted in a striking and domineering black and red. It felt weighty in hand, causing Gu Yanzhi’s eyes to flicker.
“Alright.”
Her movements were smooth, but the result wasn’t as good as expected – nine rings.
Lu Qingshi didn’t say much, just rang for an attendant to bring another recurve bow. The two of them didn’t compete, just casually shooting arrows.
This scene reminded her of their first meeting. Back then, they weren’t very familiar, but Lu Qingshi’s archery skills were already honed to perfection. Perhaps her strength was still lacking, but that unwavering determination to win had truly moved her.
Another round of fifty arrows passed. Gu Yanzhi put down the bow and arrow, a thin layer of sweat on her forehead, her arms aching.
“Your injury hasn’t healed yet, take a rest.”
“Alright,” Lu Qingshi also put down her bow and arrow, picking up her drink and taking a sip.
Gu Yanzhi wiped her short hair with a towel, and seeing Lu Qingshi put down her drink, didn’t hesitate to take it and gulp it down in one go.
Lu Qingshi’s lips moved, but she ultimately said nothing.
The archery hall was quiet on a weekday. In the spacious shower room, only two showerheads were running noisily. The frosted glass reflected her beautiful figure, with water droplets sliding down the glass and her arms.
Separated by just a pane of glass, Gu Yanzhi saw her pick up the body wash and scrub her entire body. The places her fingertips brushed seemed to have a magical allure, drawing her gaze to linger. Her eyes followed the movements, from the slender neck to the flat, toned abdomen, and the straight, long legs.
Lu Qingshi’s extreme self-discipline was not only reflected in her work but also in her control over her body posture, which made it impossible for her to look away.
Gu Yanzhi swallowed hard, her hand propped against the wall, allowing the water to flow over her wounds, bringing waves of dull pain.
The sound of water next door stopped, and Lu Qingshi asked softly, “What’s wrong?”
“Uhβ¦ can’t reach my back.” The injured right hand still couldn’t be fully raised, and Gu Yanzhi made up an excuse.
After a rustle, the curtain was lifted, and suddenly two adult women squeezed into the narrow space, making it cramped at once. The air stagnated, and almost instantly, Gu Yanzhi tensed up, trembling uncontrollably for some reason.
This change became particularly evident when her fingertips brushed against her own shoulder, to the extent that Lu Qingshi asked, “Cold?”
Gu Yanzhi, with her back to her, shook her head, then nodded.
So the bath heater was turned on, and the warm yellow light made everything seem a bit ambiguous.
Unnamed emotions were fermenting.
Her skin wasn’t as fair as that of ordinary girls, but had a healthy tanned quality. When touched, it would immediately bounce back, with muscles firm and strong. Scars crisscrossed her entire body, and in those places, the flesh was rough and inelastic.
Lu Qingshi’s fingertips traced over them one by one, one knife wound, two knife woundsβ¦
Three bullet scars, eight impact injuries, two surgical incisions, whoever did the stitching, their technique was worse than hers, that’s for sure.
The most fatal one, she knew, was in the heart.
Gu Yanzhi tilted her head back, biting her lower lip, every pore on her body trembling from this excessive stimulation. Although she was merely scrubbing her back, Gu Yanzhi shamefully developed thoughts she shouldn’t have, and even had a physical reaction to her movements.
The firefighting instructor swallowed hard, her hand against the wall clenched into a fist. Water droplets slid from her chest, falling into deeper valleys.
“I⦔ She imagined her appearance, every frown and smile, angry outbursts, or cold indifference – all were the most vivid stories in her mind.
She imagined her standing half-naked behind her, her fingers with distinct knuckles brushing over her body, imagined her stuffing her hands – more precious than life to a surgeon – into the gap of a bulletproof door.
She remembered many, many more things: her standing in the rain with reddened eyes while rescuing that pregnant woman.
Her refusing to evacuate when the Loutai Apartments caught fire, her standing on the podium giving a speech.
Her dressed up as Minnie Mouse to cheer up He Miaomiao.
Her crying in the locker room because of He Miaomiao’s death.
Various emotions rolled and intertwined, ironing out a person’s name: Lu Qingshi.
“Don’t speak, and don’t turn around.”
This wasn’t the first time she had interrupted her speaking, but it might be the last. The sensitive doctor had sensed what she wanted to say as early as when she was pinned under the bulletproof door.
It wasn’t appropriate then, and it’s even less so now.
As a friend and work partner in emergency rescue scenes, she greatly admired Gu Yanzhi’s way of handling matters and also liked her cheerful and open-minded personality.
But that was all, there wouldn’t be even a bit more.
She was a divorced woman who had given birth to a child, struggling under the weight of a heavy past. Gu Yanzhi was a person of great integrity and nobility (ε ι£ιζ, guΔng fΔng jΓ¬ yuΓ¨), equally deserving of a future just as bright and clear.
She hadn’t actually realized that in dealing with her feelings for Gu Yanzhi, her heart harbored a small sense of inferiority.
She said, “Gu Yanzhi, you must live on.”
“I will, I still have⦔
“Not for someone else, but for yourself. I know living is too tiring, so sometimes people find themselves a spiritual pillar, be it family, a lover, or an idol celebrity⦔
“But have you ever thought about whether those chosen people are truly happy? Carrying the weight of others on top of their own lives⦔ Lu Qingshi paused her movements, her gaze passing over the wound on her shoulder, seeing her hand against the wall clenched into a fist.
Gu Yanzhi knew she was politely and gracefully rejecting her.
“At least, I’m very unwilling to do so. You’re still young, go find someone willing to bear the weight of your life, and share the rest of your life together.”
In the silence of the room, the shower stopped, the temperature dropped, and the ambiguous atmosphere disappeared without a trace.
“There are fifteen scars of various sizes on my back, which you should have already seen. Whether it’s family, lovers, idols, or celebrities you mentioned, I really don’t mind at all if they respond or not. The mere existence of some people is a kind of strength in itself.”
Lu Qingshi was speechless, turning to lift the curtain. Gu Yanzhi still didn’t look back; she had told her not to turn around, and she had truly obeyed.
No matter what, as long as she said it, she would do it.
“Qingshi, have you ever heard Lin Xi’s lyrics?”
Her footsteps paused.
“I was once naive and reckless to the point of viewing death as going home, until I met you, only then did I begin to long for a long life of a hundred years.”
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