Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 51
by Little PandaVolume 1: Rise
Suicide
You are my patient, I will not let you die
Xiang Nanke’s hand touched the holster: “Dr. Lu, you are obstructing our official duties.”
Lu Qingshi put both hands in her white coat pockets, standing idly, yet effectively blocking the group’s path: “How does Captain Xiang intend to arrest me, and on what charges?”
She is Qin Xuan’s friend.
She is Qin Xuan’s friend.
She is Qin Xuan’s friend.
After silently repeating this three times, Xiang Nanke’s cold, hard expression softened: “Drug users are potential criminal suspects, and we, the public security organs, will take them into custody according to law. As for the autopsy, Dr. Lu is right, even criminals have human rights. Have the family members arrived?”
The latter half of the sentence was directed at her subordinate. A crew-cut criminal investigator standing beside her quickly stepped forward and said: “They’re on the way, and will arrive in Jinzhou by evening.”
“Good,” Xiang Nanke nodded, putting the gun back in its holster. “In that case, is Dr. Lu satisfied? We must take the person away today.”
Lu Qingshi stepped aside: “Please proceed.”
“Sister, I bought soy milk and steamed buns. Would you like to eat something?” Early in the morning, Wu Xinyu’s complexion wasn’t good, excessively haggard, and her expression was also listless.
Wu Xinwan shook her head. Due to her severe illness, she had become emaciated beyond recognition, with a sallow complexion. She hadn’t eaten for several days and relied solely on nutritional injections to maintain the necessary daily energy.
“No appetite… Where did you go last night?” She spoke haltingly, somewhat out of breath.
Wu Xinyu’s expression became evasive for a moment: “Nowhere… You should eat quickly.”
Wu Xinwan suddenly became agitated, a flush of color rushing to her sallow face: “Did you… cough cough…”
She covered her chest, coughing violently, which also triggered a sharp pain in her abdomen. She bent over in pain, rolling on the bed. Wu Xinyu rushed over but was pushed away.
With reddened eyes, she shouted: “Did you go out and fool around with some random man again?”
The eyes of everyone in the ward suddenly became somewhat peculiar as they looked at her. Wu Xinyu felt as if she had pins and needles in her back: “Sister! What are you saying? I didn’t…”
She tried hard to defend herself, but the other party deeply misunderstood her, and due to her illness, her mood was volatile. She couldn’t help but curse loudly: “You didn’t?! If it weren’t for you, would I have ended up like this?! If I had known you would be so unambitious and unrepentant, it would have been better to let him stab you to death!”
Wu Xinyu remained silent for a while, then ran out crying, forgetting her phone on the bed.
An unknown number called. Wu Xinwan hesitated for a moment but still answered. Before she could speak, the other party started cursing: “F*ck your mother, you b*tch, do you know you’re famous on TV now?! Someone like you still wants to borrow money? I’m telling you, no way! Unless you come play with us for a couple of days…”
Her face turned ashen with anger, unable to speak, she quickly hung up the phone.
However, the other party’s text messages popped up again, still filled with abusive language mixed with provocations towards Wu Xinyu. Wu Xinwan felt her heart being cut to pieces as she read them, even having thoughts of killing that man.
The abdominal pain intensified in waves, she bit her lower lip, large beads of sweat sliding down her forehead.
Her fingertip continued to scroll down, and an ordinary message caught her eye.
「Brother Long, I really have no money left. I’ve sold everything of value at home. My sister is still in the intensive care unit with stage four pancreatic cancer. I can’t abandon her. Please, lend me some more money. I’ll write you an IOU and will definitely pay you back in the future!」
The words “stage four pancreatic cancer” hit her like a dull hammer, plunging her into an endless hell. Wu Xinwan began to shake uncontrollably, her lips trembling. She bit her lower lip hard to keep from crying out loud, but her face felt ice-cold, and tears fell onto the bedsheet.
When Wu Xinyu returned after composing herself, Wu Xinwan’s attitude had improved considerably. She even actively expressed that she was hungry and wanted to drink some porridge. Wu Xinyu quickly ran to the hospital cafeteria to get food. Wu Xinwan only managed to drink less than half a bowl of porridge before she couldn’t eat anymore, but even so, she felt much happier, her fatigue swept away.
“Sister, after taking medicine for two more days, you can have the surgery. After the surgery, we can be discharged. Then, I’ll listen to you and find a proper job or learn a skill like hairdressing or beauty treatment. You can focus on your studies…”
Wu Xinwan looked at her sister, born from the same mother, the same age as herself, yet bearing the burden of life too early, to the extent that silver strands had already appeared among her thick black hair.
She smiled and waved at her sister: “Xinyu, you have white hair. Come, let me pluck it for you.”
Wu Xinyu somewhat embarrassedly gathered her hair ends: “Never mind, it’s nothing…”
In the end, unable to resist her sister’s insistence, she obediently sat on the edge of the bed. Wu Xinwan held that strand of silver hair in her palm.
“Done.”
Wu Xinwan raised her eyes to look at the bright sunny day outside the window, the bustling traffic, and softly spoke: “The weather is nice today. Push me out for a stroll, will you?”
“Alright,” Wu Xinyu found a wheelchair and pushed her along the corridor for a walk. Sunlight fell on the mottled corridor, but as it entered her eyes, she couldn’t feel any warmth.
“Xinyu, you’ve had it tough these years.”
If we speak of hardship, it was the food ready and warm in the rice cooker every morning when she woke up.
The hot water prepared when she returned late, and the floor lamp still on in the living room.
The pills and hot water brought to her bedside when her stomach hurt from excessive drinking.
Even standing up for her to deal with those relentless men.
Between the two sisters, it’s hard to say who had it tougher. Having such an unambitious sister must have been quite a headache for her as the older one.
“Xinyu, I often think, if only I had been the one to decide to drop out of school back then, how much better it would have been. Maybe you wouldn’t have…”
Wu Xinyu crouched down to look at her: “The year I dropped out, I was sixteen, old enough to make my own decisions. So I don’t blame anyone. No matter how turbulent life has been since then, it was ultimately my own choice.”
Wu Xinwan looked at her, silently weeping: “I’m useless…”
“Sister,” she pressed her face against her knee, “When you get better, will you teach me math? And English too… I was worst at those subjects back then… I want to try the university entrance exam again…”
“Alright,” Wu Xinwan stroked her face, which had become rough due to years of staying up late, excessive drinking, and using poor-quality cosmetics.
“What major do you want to study?”
“I want to be a teacher, to educate people. It should be very fulfilling, right?”
Wu Xinwan smiled slightly, patting her back gently: “Then you need to work hard, Teacher Wu.”
Wu Xinyu fell onto her lap, giggling: “Sister will get married in the future, have children. Maybe I’ll even teach sister’s children someday. Then I can get my revenge for all the times you bullied me back then.”
Would that day really come?
Wu Xinwan’s gaze fell into emptiness. The world beyond the glass curtain wall was still bustling, everyone rushing towards a bright future. But for her, with pancreatic cancer, there was no future to speak of.
“Xinyu, it’s a bit cold. Can you go back to the ward and get me a jacket?”
Wu Xinyu touched her arm: “Sister, the air conditioning isn’t cold.”
“Just go quickly, I’ll wait for you here.”
“Okay.”
Thinking her sister was weak from illness, Wu Xinyu agreed. She pushed the wheelchair to the side of the corridor and set it in place: “Then you wait here, I’ll be back in three minutes.”
Yu Gui came out of the simulated operating room carrying half a bag of broken eggshells, threw them into the trash can, and rubbed her somewhat stiff wrists, preparing to return to the office to eat instant noodles for lunch.
From afar, she saw a wheelchair placed in the corridor with no one in it. It was lunchtime now, and this floor was all operating rooms, so there were very few people around. Yu Gui looked around and walked a few steps forward. Suddenly, her pupils constricted, and she broke into a run, dashing over with lightning speed to grab Wu Xinwan around the waist just as she was about to jump from the windowsill.
A gust of wind rushed in through the wide-open window. The height of nineteen floors was enough to make anyone dizzy. Yu Gui gritted her teeth, her hand scraping against the window frame, slowly drawing blood.
“Wu Xinwan, what are you doing?! Quickly, grab my hand and come up!”
Wu Xinwan was upside down, the city’s skyscrapers reduced to ants in her eyes, yet a smile of relief spread across her face.
“Dr. Yu, let go. I don’t want to live anymore.”
Every day she lived was adding to Xinyu’s burden. She couldn’t bear to saddle her only sister with a lifetime of debt.
She deserved a better life, to save some money to fulfill her own dreams, not to spend all her savings on her, ending up with nothing to show for it.
“Bullshit!!!” Swearing at patients in Renji Medical University would result in a major demerit. Even Yu Gui, typically timid in character, couldn’t help but curse at this moment, bracing her foot against the wall to prevent sliding down.
She remembered the image of Wang Youshi’s wife kneeling on the ground, begging Lu Qingshi.
She thought of the people who perished in the big fire at Loutai Apartments.
She recalled five-year-old Miaomiao, who endured so many major surgeries, suffered so much pain, all to stay alive.
Tears fell, drop by drop.
“Bullshit… As long as you’re alive… there’s hope…” Yu Gui sniffled. Gravity pulled the two of them down relentlessly. The sharp window frame had cut a large gash on the back of her hand. Her arm was gradually losing strength, and her upper body was now suspended in the air, teetering on the brink.
“So many people are struggling to stay alive. Wu Xinwan, if you die, you’ll have nothing left!!! You’ll never see your sister again! You’ll never see tomorrow’s sun…”
The doctor’s eyes were red, her young face streaked with tears. She bit her lip and refused to let go, blood dripping from the back of her hand, falling drop by drop from the great height.
Wu Xinwan slowly reached out, touching her wrist, prying her fingers open one by one, shaking her head: “The living have their reasons to live, the dying have their excuses to die. Dr. Yu, you’re a good person. Thank you, but—”
Her body suddenly dropped, pulling Yu Gui out of the window, with only her feet still hooked on the windowsill.
Wu Xinwan had pried open one of her hands. The pain of torn muscles from supporting the weight of two people with one hand made Yu Gui scream. Large beads of cold sweat slid down her forehead.
Even more terrifying was the sense of vertigo. Falling from the nineteenth floor would turn them into a pulp, the kind that couldn’t even be scraped off the ground.
A smile spread across Wu Xinwan’s face, just like when she was ten years old, when her parents were still alive, before disaster struck.
“Goodbye, Dr. Yu.”
Goodbye, Xinyu.
She silently recited in her heart, then pried off the last finger clinging to her body.
Yu Gui’s palm suddenly felt empty, a blue and white shadow slipping from her sight: “No!!!”
Before her brain could react, her foot hooked on the windowsill suddenly loosened. The sensation of weightlessness caused a momentary palpitation. The young doctor’s white coat fluttered in the wind, her ID badge blown off by the strong gust, floating towards the vast and boundless world.
Until she grabbed her ankle back into her hand, her heart pounding like a drum. She panted heavily, hanging alone in mid-air, her lips bitten bloody.
The anticipated pain didn’t come. Wu Xinwan opened her eyes to meet her reddened gaze.
“You’re my patient. I won’t let you die.”
She gripped her ankle tighter bit by bit, using her other hand to hold onto her calf.
Hao Renjie was also gradually sliding out of the window frame above, shouting hoarsely: “Damn it!!! Yu Gui, hold on tight!”
His shrill voice was shattered by the wind. Behind him, another figure suddenly lunged forward, grabbing his waist and crying out: “Sister, you big liar, I won’t let you die!!!”
Yu Gui let out a sigh of relief, her eyes sparkling: “You see, even if life isn’t going well, there are still people who sincerely hope you’ll stay alive.”
More and more medical staff rushed to the scene upon hearing the news. The fire department also urgently set up an air cushion below. After thirty minutes, they finally managed to rescue everyone.
Wu Xinwan was sent to the emergency room for a full-body examination. Yu Gui collapsed onto the ground, both hands hanging by her sides, unable to lift them. Her entire shoulders were trembling slightly, with blood soaking half of her sleeve.
Lu Qingshi hung her stethoscope around her neck and entered the emergency treatment room, pulling aside the curtain. She pressed on her shoulder, then gently pushed her arm back, causing Yu Gui to immediately let out a howl of pain.
Lu Qingshi let go: “Now you know it hurts.”
Yu Gui looked up pitifully: “Teacher Lu…”
Lu Qingshi dipped a cotton swab in iodine and disinfected her wound: “Your hand is ruined. You almost couldn’t be a surgeon anymore.”
Yu Gui bit her lip, only now realizing how close it had been: “I didn’t think that much at the time.”
Lu Qingshi said nothing, throwing the used cotton swab into the trash bin and wrapping her wound with a bandage.
Yu Gui watched her movements and murmured, “Teacher Lu… I didn’t do wrong, did I?”
“A patient dying in the hospital, especially by suicide, would be very troublesome. As a doctor, you didn’t do wrong.”
Her delicate hand was wrapped up like a zongzi. Yu Gui waited to hear the rest.
Lu Qingshi looked up at her, her eyes still calm and unruffled, but she glimpsed a ripple beneath the tranquil lake surface.
“As Yu Gui, you also have people who sincerely hope you stay alive. You should never put yourself in danger at any time. So, you were wrong.”
0 Comments