Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 46
by Little PandaVolume 1: Rise
Future
Some things we do may not necessarily succeed, but not doing them will certainly lead to failure
After finishing two cigarettes and returning to the emergency observation room, Lu Qingshi was already awake, with her coat draped over her knees, and the infusion was finished. She was preparing to remove the needle herself.
Gu Yanzhi quickly rushed over and held her down: “Don’t move, let the nurse come.”
“I am a doctor, I can completely…” Lu Qingshi’s expression was still listless, with dark circles under her eyes, but the sickly flush had faded somewhat, making her look a bit better.
Gu Yanzhi was still uneasy and held her hand down to prevent her from moving, then directly pressed the bell.
The nurse quickly came over, removed the needle for her, and carefully applied tape to stop the bleeding.
“According to the doctor’s orders, there are still two days of infusion. Doctor Lu, don’t forget to come on time for the infusion tomorrow.”
Lu Qingshi nodded: “Thank you.”
After speaking, she coughed again twice, and Gu Yanzhi draped the coat over her shoulders, helping her slowly walk outside.
“I said there’s no need…”
“Give me the car keys” before the words were finished, she was interrupted, and Lu Qingshi subconsciously handed over the keys.
She opened the car door and put her into the passenger seat.
“Now you’re the patient, talk less and rest more,” Gu Yanzhi glanced at her, fastened the seat belt, engaged the gear, and set off.
Lu Qingshi watched as the streetlights slowly flowed past in front of her eyes; the night is the soul of the city, and the soul is reviving.
The red light was flashing, and Gu Yanzhi slowed down the car, subconsciously turning her head to look at her; she had been very quiet since just now.
The dim yellow car lights cast on her profile, Lu Qingshi looking outside the window, the fine lines at the corners of her eyes exposed her age, but they also added the charm of years of experience to her.
She gently said, “You don’t need to be so good to me.”
Gu Yanzhi gripped the steering wheel tightly: “When I was hospitalized, you were also very good to me.”
“That was what I should do as a doctor.”
Is it really this way?
Lu Qingshi lowered her eyes, using this reason to convince herself.
“Then being good to you is also what I should do as a friend,” she said confidently, with righteous words, yet with some confusion. Does she really just want to be friends with her?
She doesn’t know.
“Everyone who’s good to me wants to get something from me. What about you? What do you want to get?”
Her parents are good to her because they want her not to disgrace the family and become the second Lu Xucheng.
Fu Lei is good to her because her clinical data can help him complete his thesis and gain an impact factor.
Dean Meng is good to her because she is a malleable talent; in other words, she is a useful person to him and the hospital.
She doesn’t mind others using her; people must have value while living; otherwise, what’s the difference with being dead?
Gu Yanzhi was slightly stunned, then started to laugh softly.
“What are you laughing at?” The doctor was secretly annoyed.
This red light was very long, long enough that after she finished that sentence, Lu Qingshi didn’t return to her senses for a long time.
This red light was again very short, so short that when she wanted to carefully savor what the sudden burst of light in her eyes meant, she had already turned her gaze away.
That kind of gentle to the extreme look, she had only seen on Fu Lei’s face during their passionate period.
She said: “I don’t know what kind of environment Doctor Lu grew up in, nor do I know what exactly you experienced that created your somewhat extreme values, but I’m not the same as those who hurt you. I really want to be good to you purely, without any purpose, and please don’t guard against me, because you deserve it.”
After she finished this sentence, she focused on driving, leaving the lingering feeling for her to slowly chew over.
Finally, she concluded: Gu Yanzhi is a bit stubborn.
But it seems like, she’s still considered a not bad friend?
Lu Qingshi thought this way, slightly curving up her lips.
Returning home, she went to shower, and Gu Yanzhi very consciously went into her home’s kitchen, creating a burst of clanging. The shower’s warm water flowed over her body, and Lu Qingshi raised her head, suddenly having a feeling of unreality.
Her home, for the first time, had an outsider who didn’t belong to her, and it was also the first time it had the breath of human world smoke and fire.
When she finished her shower and came out drying her hair, the food was already placed on the table.
To take care of her sickness, dinner was made very light, with vegetable porridge and whole grain steamed buns. The oyster sauce lettuce emitted a fragrance, and stir-fried potato shreds were served with rice. Using chopsticks to pick open the salted duck egg, the golden yolk flowed out, looking very delicious.
Gu Yanzhi wiped her hands on the apron and sat down: “Endure for two days, no meat, let’s eat vegetarian.”
Lu Qingshi nodded, her thanks indeed very sincere: “Thank you.”
While chewing the vegetables, she only felt a lingering fragrance in her mouth, very fresh and sweet, and she was somewhat curious: “Why aren’t you married?”
Her cooking skills would absolutely be very popular in the dating market.
Gu Yanzhi added a small half bowl of porridge for her: “I am a person living on the edge, no need to add trouble for others.”
Now, although a bit stronger than before, it’s not much better, still living one day less each day, uncertain which day a mission might mean not coming back.
Lu Qingshi thought: “Makes sense, doctors are the same, uncertain which day going to an emergency scene might mean encountering danger, sitting in a clinic might also result in being stabbed to death by an ill-intentioned patient.”
Everyone is living day by day, but even so, all are living seriously. Lu Qingshi never gave up on the pursuit of ideals, and Gu Yanzhi lives cheerfully, confidently, optimistically, and positively.
Living is not difficult, life is not difficult either; what is rare is living with dreams and pursuits. Most importantly, even after seeing through life’s essence, still loving life.
In this regard, Gu Yanzhi can be a role model.
“You go home,” after the meal, Lu Qingshi moved around a little while, then lay on the bed reading a book.
Gu Yanzhi was playing with the human skeleton in her room: “I’ll leave after you fall asleep.”
Lu Qingshi smiled: “I’m not that fragile.”
The person in front raised a hand to look at the time: “Ah, you should take your medicine.”
Thud thud thud, she ran to the living room, took her big bag of medicine, and brought it in, pouring them one by one into her palm. The warm water was also placed into her palm.
Looking at this big pile of colorful tablets, the doctor innocently blinked her eyes: “Can I not take so many?”
Gu Yanzhi shook her head: “No, quickly, once you’ve finished the medicine and fallen asleep, I’ll leave.”
Lu Qingshi, helpless, had to pick up a red tablet, put it into her mouth, frowned, and repeatedly swallowed several mouthfuls of warm water.
Gu Yanzhi watched amusingly: “Is the doctor also afraid of taking medicine?”
“…Doctors aren’t gods,” Lu Qingshi quietly muttered: “That’s why I don’t like sitting in the clinic, prescribing medicine all day, it’s all so annoying to see.”
Those tablets are all so bitter and hard to swallow; if only a cold could be operated on, it would be good.
“Wait.”
Gu Yanzhi disappeared from her sight, went home to get candy, then went into her kitchen again, and after a burst of clanging, came out carrying a tray.
The tablets were ground into powder, mixed with white sugar, sorted, and placed on paper bags.
Gu Yanzhi, holding candy in hand: “Eating candy at night isn’t good for teeth, but I still want to let you have something sweet.”
Lu Qingshi laughed: “This way, there’ll be no medicinal effect, eh.”
“Eh?” The young fire instructor scratched her head, her face full of panic for doing something wrong: “Then… then what to do? You’d better not eat it, I’ll go again for you…”
Lu Qingshi took it over: “But, I think it should be useful.”
On Monday morning, the routine department summary meeting turned into a whole hospital conference. Every time sitting in such a venue, with hospital leadership high above, she could only sit next to the wall, and Yu Gui just felt some fear.
Everyone clearly knew in their hearts for whom today’s meeting was held.
First, the medical office issued the appraisal report regarding He Miaomiao’s death accident. Liu Changsheng cleared his throat and said: “After the expert group’s meticulous investigation and analysis, having reviewed He Miaomiao’s past medical records and verbally questioned all medical staff participating in the surgery, we reached the following conclusion—”
Yu Gui’s heart suddenly tightened, and Hao Renjie nudged her: “Don’t you think Sister Lu is too unlucky? No wonder she fell ill with all these investigations one after another. Who can endure that?”
Yu Gui’s eyes dimmed. Nowadays, doctors are seen as god-like beings, not tolerating the slightest mistake or negligence. However, medicine does not have standard answers; case variations are vast, and sometimes doctors are also helpless.
“Patient He Miaomiao died due to post-ischemic reperfusion injury to the heart. Chief surgeon Lu Qingshi did not engage in any illegal operations during the surgery process and twice saved the patient’s life; therefore, she is not held responsible.”
Yu Gui covered her face: Really great, Teacher Lu.
But the seat with her name in the first row was still empty.
“But…” Liu Changsheng’s gaze fell to her absent seat: “During the surgery process, Lu Qingshi contradicted colleagues many times, with an extremely arrogant and vile attitude, showing complete personal heroism! Therefore, her qualification for this year’s excellence is canceled, and I hope all department members take warning.”
As soon as his words fell, the meeting room door was “pat” pushed open by someone.
Lu Qingshi, wearing a blue-and-white striped patient gown and draped in a white coat, slowly walked in holding an infusion stand. She sat at her seat, and it was unclear how much of the harsh criticism of her attitude she had heard; anyway, her face showed no expression.
Liu Changsheng was immediately choked up a bit, took a handkerchief to wipe the imaginary sweat from his shiny forehead, and hurriedly shifted the topic: “This… next, let’s invite Dean Meng to speak.”
“Today, gathering everyone here is not for targeting someone,” Dean Meng Jihua stood up, and Hao Renjie followed everyone clapping together.
“See, one plays the red face, one plays the white face, old trick.”
Yu Gui’s mouth corner twitched a bit, then saw him take the microphone, walk to the front of the stage, not letting anyone support him, and deeply bow towards the audience.
“It is to thank everyone.”
Sparse, scattered applause fell silent, and everyone was somewhat puzzled, firmly staring at his face.
“Thank you all for maintaining a sincere heart in such a harsh medical practice environment, whether it’s Director Lu, Doctor Yu, every member of the opo team, or the emergency department, ICU, anesthesia department, operating room nurses…”
His gaze, full of hope, scanned over the audience, these young or tender faces, showing an elder’s affection for juniors.
“Everyone did their best, not giving up until the last moment. Some things we do may not necessarily succeed, but not doing them will definitely result in failure.”
“As doctors encountering difficult cases, we must dare to fight, dare to strive, and dare to proceed. We can’t let fear of failure cause us to shut patients out, and at the same time, we must be prepared to face surgical failure and even litigation.”
“To be honest, I feel facing litigation isn’t as serious as facing a surgery failure where the patient dies, because a patient’s death impacts your benevolent heart as a doctor. You’ll experience serious self-doubt, questioning if you’re really suitable for this job, and wondering if you’ll cause another death next time. Doctors who become apprehensive and leave their posts—I have seen many. Honestly, they were all very excellent, so I feel very regretful and saddened by such outcomes.”
Dean Meng’s words suddenly hit her innermost vulnerable corner, and Yu Gui pursed her lips, her palm tightly clenched into a fist.
“Training a doctor isn’t easy, and training an excellent surgeon is even more challenging. Failure shouldn’t be your excuse to retreat, but should become your driving force. At Renji Medical University, for every death case, we hold a whole hospital conference to discuss the reasons, not to criticize anyone, but to let everyone remember the lesson, to remember the sight of life vanishing before us, so that when similar cases appear next time, we can learn from each other and find better response methods. This is the cornerstone of medical progress.”
“I’m already old and can’t hold a scalpel anymore. You are the future hope of Renji Medical University, the hope of many patients, and the hope of our country’s medical and healthcare industry.”
“Finally, I again thank everyone for their hard work. Even if some patients may forget, as a dean and a doctor who has been on the frontline for forty years, I’m really, really, very touched.”
After he finished speaking, he hunched his body again and bent down, not straightening up for a long time.
Yu Gui clapped her hands vigorously, her palms painfully sore but she didn’t stop, this time truly and sincerely with eyes brimming with tears.
Perhaps in her naivety, she cannot completely understand Dean Meng’s words now, yet his words ignited a dim spark in her heart.
She wants to stay at Renji Medical University.
And what makes this spark burn more and more vigorously is Lu Qingshi.
After the meeting was dismissed, she called out to her mentor in the hallway.
Probably separated by three to five steps, Lu Qingshi turned around: “What is it?”
The young doctor hesitated for a moment but still poured out: “Teacher Lu, if you had to do it again, would you still perform the surgery for Miaomiao?”
The doctor was silent for a moment, then slowly raised her head, with the dusk light falling on her hair tips.
“I would,” she answered very firmly, the backlight made her expression unclear.
“Why, aren’t you afraid of failure?” she pursued.
“Of course I’m afraid. If I fail, the patient will die. Life is a one-way street that doesn’t give doctors a chance to regret, but compared to failure, I fear regret more.”
“That feeling of doing nothing and watching a patient die in front of you is much worse than failure.”
After she finished this sentence, she supported the infusion stand, limping to the emergency room to change medicine, leaving Yu Gui standing in the original place for a long time. The young doctor suddenly jumped up, scaring the passing Hao Renjie half to death.
“I’ve decided, after the training ends, I want to stay at Renji Medical University!!!”
Hao Renjie directly punched her on the head, pressing her down: “Wake up quickly and stop dreaming! Do you know how perverse the assessment is at Renji Medical University?! The admission rate is one in a thousand, lower than the probability of passing the civil servant exam! Someone like you getting in for training was pure luck!”
Yu Gui angrily jumped and chased him to hit him: “Good person sister, you should shut up!!! Hey! Wait a minute! How did you get in if the assessment is so perverse?!”
Hao Renjie threw a flirty glance, dodging while raising orchid fingers: “Don’t look at me like this, I’m also a top student in the nursing major at Central South University~”
Lu Qingshi pressed the closed elevator door open again: “Are you sure you didn’t give Xu Qiankun money?”
Hao Renjie lamented: “Sister Lu, in vain my infatuation and unwavering devotion to you…”
His words were not yet finished when the elevator door closed again and rapidly descended.
Yu Gui laughed holding her belly, and the two people quarreled again.
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