Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 127
by Little PandaVolume 5: Extra
Peace Dove (3)
Lu Qingshi was exhausted.
After Gu Yanzhi left, Lu Qingshi knelt alone in the sandy ground searching for a long time. Her hands, already cut by steel wires in the ruins during the day, and with blisters from rope climbing, were now bleeding as she felt inch by inch across the rough sand, her skin splitting open.
She searched countless times downstairs, and even so, she couldn’t find it even when the moon was high in the sky. Finally, the arriving guards dragged her out of the factory area and threw her at the gate.
She had never felt so helpless before – in a foreign country, an unfamiliar town, unable to communicate, in a deserted warzone town at midnight, with distant gunfire and loud dog barking echoing from afar.
There were stray dogs drooling and eyeing her menacingly, or perhaps some desert wildlife.
Lu Qingshi hugged herself tightly, curled up against the wall. As the night temperature plummeted below zero, she shivered in the cold wind, her consciousness gradually becoming unclear.
Until the gunfire ceased and distant headlights appeared, Gu Yanzhi pulled up in a Jeep at the factory gate, with several soldiers jumping down from the back seat.
“Mountain Hawk, that woman hasn’t left yet.”
She glanced over – the woman was sheltering in the darkness, leaning against the wall, head buried in her neck, quiet as if asleep.
She forced herself to shift her gaze: “Where are the medics? Attend to Vulture first.”
The iron gates of the factory area were pushed open, and several soldiers wearing desert camouflage uniforms with Red Cross armbands came running.
They moved the injured person from the back seat – an American soldier, the team’s assault specialist. This elite squad was composed of retired special forces from various countries, each one an invaluable combat asset.
The medic checked his carotid pulse and cut open his uniform – the bullet was deeply embedded in his sternum, a very tricky situation, with blood continuously flowing out.
“Sir, the bullet’s position is precarious, it may have damaged the heart muscle, we…”
Lu Qingshi heard the commotion and stood up from the darkness: “Let me try.”
She walked over without acknowledging Gu Yanzhi and crouched down to examine the wound: “I’m a surgeon.”
Everyone’s gazes instantly turned to Gu Yanzhi, and the officer pressed her lips tightly: “Take him inside.”
“I need a clean, spacious, well-ventilated room for surgery, and please prepare suture kits, curved trays, gauze, hemostats… do you have saline solution?”
Gu Yanzhi kicked open the door to the combat meeting room, sweeping everything off the table onto the floor. The medics laid down non-woven fabric and handed her the medical kit they were carrying.
Lu Qingshi opened it and briefly searched through – supplies were scarce, no plasma available. She’d have to proceed regardless.
The instruments were laid out one by one on the wide table surface, and an alcohol stove was set up with an aluminum basin of boiling water for sterilization.
Lu Qingshi put her hands in the clear water, blood mixed with sand seeping out as she scrubbed the dirt from between her fingers.
Gu Yanzhi’s gaze fell on her, and the doctor seemed somewhat embarrassed, managing a forced smile.
“All non-essential personnel please leave, keep the medics as assistants.”
Gu Yanzhi led the way out, and the room full of soldiers instantly cleared out, leaving only two medics to assist with the surgery.
Lu Qingshi breathed a sigh of relief, washed her hands clean, quickly dried them, and put on gloves.
“Alright, let’s begin.”
Basin after basin of bloody water was carried out from the room. Gu Yanzhi leaned outside the door, playing with a lighter – a gift from Spiky Head.
The striking female officer wore only a camouflage short-sleeve shirt, with beads of sweat still hanging in her hair, head lowered in thought.
Someone passed by her, and her lighter vanished. A flash of fire lit up, and smoke curled from the American soldier’s cigarette.
Without hesitation, she threw a punch, and the two became entangled in a fight. Gu Yanzhi pinned the person to the ground, snatched the cigarette from their mouth, and crushed it to powder under her combat boot.
Her anger today was reaching astronomical levels.
Sand Hawk rolled her eyes and stood up from the ground. Also a female soldier, Sand Hawk was American-born. When the war started, she was just nineteen, a second-year student at the National Defense Academy.
Her hair was even shorter than Gu Yanzhi’s, making her look no different from a man.
“Sir, want a drag? Lifted it off a N*zi, genuine American goods.”
Sand Hawk reached for another cigarette pack from her pocket, but before she could open it, Gu Yanzhi’s cold gaze fell on her.
“I advise you to put that away, unless you want a broken hand.”
Sand Hawk clicked her tongue in wonder. Young and proud, and with this unit’s special background, from the day Gu Yanzhi arrived, she had questioned why an Asian should be giving orders on American soil.
Even though military ranks were strictly hierarchical, respect still had to be earned through capability. She had challenged Gu Yanzhi, only to be defeated in just three moves.
She could have crushed her throat, but at the last moment, extended her hand instead: “Soldier, Chinese people are not the Sick Man of East Asia [dōng yà bìng fū – derogatory historical term for China], I’m here to fight terrorists, not to raise hands against allies.”
After that, Sand Hawk was genuinely convinced, though still young and proud, occasionally picking fights at times.
“Tch, didn’t you just get two cigars from Blue Hawk yesterday?”
They all used hawk-based codenames, with Blue Hawk in charge of logistics.
In a bad mood today, Gu Yanzhi couldn’t be bothered to respond. The intervention was only because the thought of her intolerance for smoke briefly crossed her mind.
Sand Hawk peered through the door crack – even with a mask on, the doctor’s beauty was evident.
Lu Qingshi extracted the bullet from the sternum and placed it in the curved tray: “Prepare for suturing.”
“Let me guess, lover? Mistress? Paramour?”
Gu Yanzhi’s fist clenched with an audible crack as she spoke through gritted teeth in a lowered voice: “Try insulting her one more f*cking time.”
Sand Hawk shrugged, readily closing her mouth, but patted her shoulder before leaving: “Sir, honestly, your taste in women is better than your taste in cigarettes.”
“Though if it were me, I wouldn’t let a beauty wait alone in the desert for half the night. We might die from a bullet any day, just like Vulture. But before that, I’d definitely want to… love her hard.”
In the dark night, the battlefield dormitory housed both men and women together. Some would sneak out or bring others in at night. As long as they fought bravely, order wasn’t necessary here.
Physically and mentally exhausted soldiers needed comfort and tenderness, and as long as it was consensual, Gu Yanzhi always turned a blind eye.
She deeply understood that this wasn’t China – there was no need to impose rigid rules and regulations.
This was the Middle East – free, open, passionate, and chaotic.
The tin-walled rooms had poor soundproofing. Shortly after Sand Hawk left, suggestive sounds came from the neighboring room.
Gu Yanzhi should have been used to it, but tonight was different. From the moment she appeared, her heart had been in chaos, to the point where hearing those sounds unconsciously brought her face to mind.
Lu Qingshi came out of the operating room and immediately saw her standing in the corridor. After several months apart, she looked even more striking.
Wearing a camouflage short-sleeve, belt cinched tight at the waist, hands in pockets, arm muscles taut, legs strong and powerful. Not bulky, but with flowing lines that caught the eye. Excess trouser legs tucked into combat boots, looking sharp and efficient.
Her short hair looked more spirited than before. Head lowered in thought, perhaps staring for too long, both came to their senses.
Lu Qingshi lowered her head. There was only one way out, and she clutched her backpack strap as she walked forward.
“Surgery successful, I’m leaving.”
Gu Yanzhi straightened up from the wall: “The city’s under martial law, where can you go?”
They had just gone out because their informant provided intelligence about a small extremist group infiltrating to carry out indiscriminate human bomb attacks in town.
They had raided the enemy’s hideout in time, seizing large quantities of supplies and ammunition. One team member was wounded, two terrorists escaped, and now roadblocks were set up for a citywide manhunt.
Leaving now would get her arrested as a spy.
Lu Qingshi pressed her lips together, following behind her and watching the back of her head as she pushed open the iron door: “You sleep here, I’ll sleep downstairs.”
This was a converted prison facility now used as their camp, with divided rooms containing several metal-frame beds or shared sleeping platforms. Downstairs had mixed-gender dormitories, storage rooms, and ammunition storage.
Lu Qingshi became anxious: “You’re not going to sleep with those men, are you?”
Gu Yanzhi wasn’t deaf to the sounds she could hear.
Her gaze swept over, carrying a rare hint of teasing: “This is how it is in wartime.”
Lu Qingshi’s face burned as she pulled out a blanket and laid it on the floor: “I’ll sleep on the floor, you take the bed.”
Gu Yanzhi picked up the blanket and threw it back to her, then pulled out a military bedroll from under the bed, took out some camouflage fabric, spread it out with a swoosh, and lay down fully clothed, using the pack as a pillow.
Lu Qingshi lay in her bed, the covers dry and warm, the pillow carrying a faint smell of smoke – not unpleasant, more like strong mint.
She liked it, but…
Something kept poking at her neck. She reached down to feel it and her heart jumped: “Gu Yanzhi…”
Her voice trembled. Though not asleep, hearing this voice made her even more restless.
“What is it?”
Seeing her wanting to lie down but afraid to, she suddenly understood, reaching under her neck to remove the cold object, her hand brushing against her skin.
Soft, delicate, warm – a woman’s temperature.
Still her former woman.
The officer pressed her lips together, stuffed the gun into her pocket, and turned to pull the hanging cord connected to the electric light.
“Do you always sleep with weapons under your pillow?”
Sharing a room, with people next door mmm…
The silence without sleep was too awkward.
Lu Qingshi tried to make conversation.
Gu Yanzhi gently pulled the cord, her face falling into darkness.
After retirement, they had lived comfortably together for a while. She had almost forgotten she was a soldier until the instructor threw her into border special training for a month before coming here. From that time, something deeply buried in her bones began to awaken.
“Mm,” she responded softly, lying back down.
Seeing her unresponsive, Lu Qingshi gave up, but as she turned away, her eyes clearly reddened.
Gu Yanzhi pretended not to notice, closing her eyes and regulating her breathing.
After a while, the sounds next door stopped.
The person lying on the floor quietly sighed in relief.
But the person on the bed started rustling around.
It had been a long time since she’d bathed, and she felt extremely uncomfortable, feeling unclean, especially lying in her bed – there was an inexplicable sense of shame.
Even a battle-hardened soldier was cleaner than her.
She remembered there was a washroom here.
Lu Qingshi sat up, gently lifted the covers and got out of bed. The person lying on the floor had closed eyes, breathing steadily, seemingly asleep.
She breathed a sigh of relief, planning to step over her.
Gu Yanzhi opened her eyes: “What are you doing?”
Lu Qingshi clutched her hem: “Uh… want to take a shower.”
Moonlight shone through the window; the woman’s face was slightly red, appearing awkward.
Unlike them who often seized supplies from terrorists, Doctors Without Borders relied solely on humanitarian donations, naturally conditions were poor.
Gu Yanzhi closed her eyes again: “No hot water.”
“It’s fine, I just want to wash my hair.”
“Light switch is on the wall.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Lu Qingshi opened the door; the washroom was right next door, less than three steps away. A greasy nylon rope hung from the wall – she pulled it, and dim electric lights came on, attracting insects.
She looked around – a row of faucets connected to metal pipes. She turned one on, and clear water flowed out, slightly cool on her palm, but with good pressure and continuous flow.
The doctor’s lips curved slightly.
It was quiet except for insect sounds.
Feeling at ease, she took off her short-sleeve shirt, then removed her jeans, reaching behind to unhook her bra.
“Tow…” Gu Yanzhi pushed the door halfway, then withdrew, only extending her arm to hand her a towel.
Lu Qingshi, like a startled rabbit, suddenly loosened her grip on the plastic water pipe, splashing water all over herself.
…
She moved closer, taking the towel from her hand: “This…”
Gu Yanzhi grew somewhat impatient: “What is it?”
“Do you have soap?”
The person opposite seemed to hold her breath for three seconds. For some reason, she sensed anger in her response.
“Wait!”
She stood by the door, arms crossed, waiting.
A small bar of soap was pressed into her palm. The soap was slippery, and their fingertips touched – the soft, delicate sensation reminiscent of somewhere else.
Gu Yanzhi withdrew her hand, touching the weapon in her pocket for self-defense. The cold sensation brought some clarity.
She meant to return to the room, but seeing the dark corridor and hearing the flowing water sounds from inside, she remained restless.
She pulled out the crumpled cigarette from her other pocket, unfolded it, and walked a bit further to stand in the breeze to light it.
The flash of fire reflected in her amber eyes, making them appear even deeper.
Some drunken soldiers passed by with girls, and Gu Yanzhi told them to get lost in Arabic.
Until the water sounds in the washroom gradually diminished to silence, followed by rustling sounds.
Gu Yanzhi returned to the room before she came back.
Lu Qingshi entered nervously but relaxed seeing her still in the same position.
The room was tiny, not even half the size of a bathroom in China. She had to pass by her to reach the bed.
Lu Qingshi slowed her steps, walking awkwardly. Her t-shirt was somewhat loose, usually tucked into her shorts, but since she’d washed the shorts too,
The shirt barely covered her bottom as she tried to silently inch past her.
For some reason, perhaps guilt, she wasn’t composed around her since their reunion, and her attitude made her even more uneasy.
Even though Gu Yanzhi had said many cold-hearted things and thrown away the ring, she still loved her.
Thinking of that ring lost in the sand, Lu Qingshi felt another wave of heartache.
Lost in thought, she stumbled on her bedroll. Before she could cry out, she lost balance, with the hard metal bed frame in front.
Instinctively reaching out to brace herself, she grabbed soft short hair. Gu Yanzhi sat up, and her lips brushed past her ear root as she fell into her arms.
Through thin clothes, her hair still carried the soap’s fragrance. Without perfume, the woman’s natural scent became more intoxicating, like a night orchid, easily catching her breath.
Soft flesh pressed against her chest, leaving Gu Yanzhi parched.
It had been so, so long since she’d touched her.
Let alone touching – from the border to the Middle East, she hadn’t seen any decent, acceptable women.
Everyone has weaknesses, and she was no exception.
For Lu Qingshi, such quiet moments were rare.
It had been so long since she’d held her, since she’d felt her lover’s warmth.
Her shoulders were broad, comfortable to rest against.
Her waist was slender yet firm.
Lu Qingshi followed her heart and tightened her arms. When Gu Yanzhi didn’t react, she grew bolder, whispering her name near her ear, wanting to kiss her.
“Gu…”
She knew exactly where she was sensitive.
An uncontrollable fire rose from within.
She had provoked her.
The next moment, she was thrown onto the bed, the movement far from gentle, even carrying a hint of excitement.
She was dazed from the impact, her clothes wrinkled in the struggle, revealing her flat stomach as moonlight filtered through the window lattice.
Gu Yanzhi saw only one color: white.
She was definitely the whitest woman she’d seen in the desert. Exposed areas might have darkened, but…
She swallowed, glancing downward at her straight, slender legs…
Blood rushed to her head.
The look in her eyes couldn’t be more obvious.
She wanted her.
Even if this person claimed not to love her anymore and told her to stay away, how could her body’s reactions lie?
Just like before, she was always awkward about these things.
Lu Qingshi reached for her shirt collar, pulling her down. Gu Yanzhi didn’t refuse. She thought she wanted it too, not knowing this person wanted far more than just that.
She wouldn’t give her any control.
The more she called her name, the more frenzied she became. Not making a sound wasn’t acceptable either – she forced her to speak, to beg. She wanted to hear it.
When she begged, she took her even more fiercely.
Lu Qingshi was exhausted.
Her tears had soaked a large patch of the pillow.
Gu Yanzhi released her, finally feeling somewhat satisfied. This prolonged confrontation had drained her energy too.
It also slightly dispersed the gloom that had long been compressed in her heart.
But that was all.
No passionate words of love.
No tender embraces.
Not even a single exchange of words.
She got off her, tossed her tissues, sat down on the floor, and accidentally caught her gaze.
Red-rimmed eyes, biting her lip on the verge of tears, face still flushed, sweat-dampened hair clinging to her forehead, wearing the bullet shell necklace she had given her around her neck.
She hadn’t taken it off even while bathing.
While she was looking at her, she was looking back.
Their eyes met, and suddenly hot tears rolled down. It was bearable when apart, but seeing her made her heart ache to the point of suffocation.
As passion cooled, she felt chilled all over.
Just a simple meeting of eyes, and Lu Qingshi quickly looked away, staring unfocused at nothing in particular, lost and directionless.
She instinctively reached out to brush away the sweat-dampened hair from her forehead.
The person lying on the bed recoiled like a frightened rabbit, and her hand met empty air.
She was afraid.
The person who had been composed and calm facing her was now afraid.
Was this what she wanted?
Gu Yanzhi didn’t know, only feeling a tightness in her nose and heat in her eyes.
She lay down and didn’t look at her again.
Lu Qingshi turned over, the metal bed frame creaking.
The next morning, the room was empty.
The bedroll and military pack were gone.
Her washed undergarments were neatly hung on the chair.
The desert was dry.
She reached out to touch them – already completely dry.
Blushing, Lu Qingshi got dressed and stood up. On the table was a bottle of mineral water and nang bread [náng bǐng – flatbread] wrapped in oiled paper.
Wind blew in through the open window, bringing warmth to the air. She checked her watch – it was already late morning.
She hadn’t returned for a day and night, and there had been unrest in the city last night. She wondered how Doctors Without Borders was doing.
Akai Ryo must be worried.
Without further delay, she rushed next door to quickly wash her face and rinse her mouth, stuffed the water bottle in her bag, and ate the flatbread while walking.
The military camp at night was completely different from daytime. Having witnessed last night’s absurdity, she thought the day would be equally casual.
But after just a few steps, she encountered patrolling sentries, fully armed with stern expressions.
Her heart tightened, preparing for questioning.
But they walked past without a glance.
Gu Yanzhi must have spoken to them.
She relaxed and went down the stairs. A small squad of soldiers guarded the armory, all tall and strong, their muscles stretching their camouflage uniforms.
Seeing her come from Gu Yanzhi’s room, no one questioned her. The same white boy from yesterday came to escort her out.
It seemed bringing people in or going out late at night was commonplace here. As for Gu Yanzhi, had she…
Her mind was in chaos, and she quickly dismissed the thought.
Sand Hawk was training a small squad of soldiers. Seeing her come from the compound, she snapped her fingers at her adjutant and walked over.
“Sir…” the white boy began, but Sand Hawk cut him off: “Go train, baby.”
“Yes, sir,” he saluted and ran back to formation.
Lu Qingshi studied her as she examined her in return.
What was so good about such a delicate woman?
She could crush her throat with one hand.
Sand Hawk felt mischievous: “She must be fierce in bed.”
Lu Qingshi’s face turned red with anger. Used to being respected in China, no one dared speak to her like this.
She’d been in the Middle East for a while but only dealt with doctors, patients, and polite government military officers – she’d never encountered such a crude soldier.
It was dark last night when she hadn’t recognized her, but now she realized this was the officer who had stopped her.
Looking closer, how could a doctor mistake gender?
Lu Qingshi was furious, but controlled her expression and smiled coolly: “Yes, quite fierce, but she prefers gentle women.”
“How do you know fierce women don’t want to be conquered by someone fiercer? Besides, a change of taste occasionally isn’t bad.”
She winked. As an American, she had a naturally high bridge nose and deep-set eyes with distinct features. Even with her crew cut, her curvy figure made her an attractive woman.
The doctor bit her lower lip, eyes reddening. Sand Hawk noticed this and grew more smug, leaning forward to whisper in her ear.
“You know, there’s not much entertainment in the battlefield. My people don’t mind. Feel free to come often – we could play together.”
Play with your ghost!
She cursed internally but stepped back, looking at her calmly: “Ma’am, you’d better pray you don’t get injured during missions. Within fifty kilometers, we’re the only Doctors Without Borders hospital.”
Was that a threat or intimidation?
Interesting.
Before she could savor the moment longer, the stubborn Asian woman had turned and left.
The white boy followed, feeling uneasy: “Sir, aren’t you afraid when Mountain Hawk returns…”
Sand Hawk gave him a look: “She’s gone to headquarters – won’t be back for ten days or half a month.”
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