Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 112
by Little PandaVolume 3: Transition
The End
From today on, my career as a doctor has ended.
Hospital-wide meeting.
A seat was empty among the associate chief physicians of the Emergency Department.
Yu Gui was scratching her head with a pen, still thinking about the neuroblastoma case, when the meeting chair began speaking.
“For today’s meeting, we’ve specially invited President Fu from Changsheng Biological Pharmaceuticals. Not only is he the patient’s family member, but he’s also an excellent cardiac surgeon. Everyone, please welcome him with applause.”
Hao Renjie clapped lazily and nudged Yu Gui: “Though I come from a nursing background, even I know this disease is incurable. Why do you think he came all this way?”
“Could it be that he wants to talk to the boss…”
Yu Gui gave him a stern look: “Don’t talk nonsense.”
The patient’s test results and CT scans were enlarged on the screen. Fu Lei, wearing a white coat over his suit and shirt, held a presentation remote with a serious expression as he made his introduction.
“Patient Fu Peiqi, two and a half years old, terminal stage neuroblastoma. The tumor is wrapped around the heart, liver, kidneys, large intestine, small intestine, pancreas, affecting the abdominal aorta, superior mesenteric artery, including retroperitoneal involvement…”
A wave of murmurs spread below. The chief physicians in the front row whispered among themselves, quietly exchanging views.
Liu Changsheng sat in the first position on the right, his brows furrowed into a “ๅท” shape, raised his teacup to drink but put it down halfway, letting out a long sigh.
Yu Gui gripped her pen tightly as Fu Lei’s voice on stage suddenly became heavy with grief.
“Chemotherapy, radiation therapy, targeted drugs… all ineffective. If this continues, Peipei won’t live past a month.”
Someone raised their hand to respond: “Such a complex tumor cannot be removed through conventional surgery.”
“Yes,” Fu Lei pressed the presentation remote, leaning on the podium: “That’s why Changsheng Biologicals has pooled the efforts of medical scientists worldwide to develop this.”
“This is…” someone gasped, and Yu Gui’s eyes widened too.
The massive object on the screen was… the Da Vinci surgical robot!
“We must thank the professors at the University of Toronto Medical School in Canada for their strong support. We’ve improved upon the American version of Da Vinci, adapting the mechanical arms to better suit Asian heights and body types. We’ve also added advanced computer navigation systems and 3D imaging cameras. While regular surgical navigation can magnify the view tenfold, Da Vinci achieves a hundredfold magnification.”
Yu Gui knew that laparoscopy and thoracoscopy commonly used in surgery provided only 2D vision, yet their precision already exceeded open surgery. With a skilled surgeon, the minimally invasive approach could allow patients to get out of bed just one day after surgery.
If 2D vision was already this powerful, then 3D would be like having a complete 360-degree view of the tumor from all angles. Combined with precise surgical navigation that could even detect cancer cells, the error rate would be…
Yu Gui’s hand clenched into a fist on her notebook, crumpling the paper with a crisp sound.
One in ten million.
The room fell silent, the large auditorium completely quiet. Someone swallowed hard, and a grey-haired professor stood up.
“Even with Da Vinci’s ultra-high precision and super-fast surgical speed, it’s impossible to remove all tumors and reconstruct blood vessels within 15 hours. Beyond 15 hours, with organs exposed to air for too long, death is inevitable.”
The Russian doctor sitting below Fu Lei opened his blue eyes and spoke in fluent English: “Therefore, we need highly skilled surgeons to form a team. Each surgical group will be responsible for removing organs from the patient’s body, excising the tumors, and returning them, while the Da Vinci robot will handle vascular reconstruction, lymph node clearance, and retroperitoneal tumor removal.”
“Arabian Nights!” [meaning: to express something impossible or far-fetched]
“Such an extreme surgical approach cannot possibly succeed!”
“If it fails, the patient will die on the operating table!”
โฆ
After a moment of dead silence, the crowd became agitated, with some loudly objecting in English.
A white cargo van slowly stopped at the hospital entrance. Lu Qingshi parked her car in the parking lot, with Gu Yanzhi protectively walking beside her.
The van doors opened, and several doctors in white radiation protection suits jumped out. The van was marked with a red cross and Changsheng Biological’s initials. The cargo door was sealed with steel bars and bore a small intertwined red and black symbol.
Prohibited medical materials.
Lu Qingshi glanced at it.
“What’s wrong?” came the question beside her ear.
She shook her head and took her bag from her hand: “I’m heading to work then.”
“Alright.” Gu Yanzhi gave her a hug: “Don’t push yourself. Go home and rest if you’re not feeling well. If he comes looking for you again, call me. Don’t get angry with them yourself.”
“You know…”
Lu Qingshi nodded: “I know.”
Any intense emotional fluctuation would trigger her splitting headaches, Lu Qingshi knew this well.
But seeing the worried look in the other’s eyes, she still smiled: “Don’t worry, I’m not a child anymore.”
They both wore matching diamond rings on their pinky fingers, reflecting rainbow colors in the sunlight.
How could she truly not worry? What needed to be said still had to be said.
“Remember to eat lunch.”
“Okay.”
“I put Vitamin C in your bag. Take it to boost your blood sugar if you feel tired.”
“Okay.”
“Also…”
Lu Qingshi laughed: “Enough, you’ll be late if you don’t leave now.”
Gu Yanzhi also smiled: “I’m off then. I’ll pick you up after work this afternoon.”
Lu Qingshi waved and turned around: “Come early, don’t make me wait too long.”
“Okay.”
Only after her figure disappeared did Gu Yanzhi turn back with the motorcycle keys. Just as she stepped down from the stairs, a drop of water fell on her forehead.
She looked up at the sky, which had been sunny just moments ago but was now covered in dark clouds.
A flash of lightning cut across the grey-black sky.
A storm was brewing.
Liu Changsheng stood up. As the acting hospital director, his steady voice carried through the microphone across the auditorium.
“The incidence rate of neuroblastoma is one in ten million. Only one child in ten million gets this disease. Let’s not even talk about worldwide numbers – just in China’s population of 1.3 billion, statistically speaking, that’s still a significant number, but…”
He paused: “The mortality rate is one hundred percent. So far, internationally, there are no effective medical means to cure it completely. Its pathogenesis remains unclear. We’re like walking in darkness, but the emergence of Da Vinci brings new hope for curing neuroblastoma.”
“I remember long ago, after He Miaomiao’s death, at the hospital-wide meeting, Dean Meng said: some things might not succeed even if we try, but will definitely fail if we don’t try at all. Children are the future of our nation. Any one of them could become who we are today – you, me, him. Why are we facing these challenges head-on today, pushing through difficulties?”
He patted his white coat: “We are doctors. The Hippocratic Oath we memorized on our first day of medical school isn’t just a slogan.”
“It carries the hope of every family, the future of every child.”
“Our Renji Medical University First Affiliated Hospital stands alongside Xiehe Hospital as the nation’s top teaching hospitals, renowned worldwide. If we can’t accomplish something even by working together, other hospitals won’t stand a chance!”
His gaze swept across the audience. Today’s meeting included not only Renji doctors but also Xiehe doctors in the front row, wearing the same white coats but different badges.
Green and red intertwined, and every face showed the same solemn expression.
“For patients, we and Da Vinci are their last hope. This surgery isn’t just for Peipei, but for other sick children, and for… all of humanity.”
Fu Lei put down the presentation remote, lowered his head, and bent deeply at the waist: “Finally, I’m not standing here as a doctor, but as an ordinary father of a sick child. As Fu Peiqi’s father, I beg everyone…”
He placed his hands at his sides, his back bending into a deep bow [an act of extreme respect and humility in Chinese culture]: “Please save my child.”
Yu Gui saw large wet spots appear by his feet as scattered applause broke out.
After the meeting, Yu Gui was gathering scattered papers from the table while Fu Lei shook hands with experts and professors from various hospitals, bowing to each one: “Thank you, thank you.”
His red-rimmed eyes seemed genuine. Liu Changsheng sighed: “Let’s set another time to finalize the personnel list for each surgical team.”
Fu Lei’s gaze turned towards them, and Yu Gui sensed it and looked back, seeing the man smile gently at her: “Add her to the surgical team too.”
Liu Changsheng nearly spat out his tea: “Her? Are you sure?”
Yu Gui pressed her lips together as Fu Lei walked over and extended his hand: “Would you like to join my surgical team, Dr. Yu?”
The word “doctor” gave Yu Gui a moment’s pause. Her hand gripping the papers tightened briefly before quickly relaxing.
She exhaled deeply and returned his handshake.
“It’s my honor, Dr. Fu.”
The Da Vinci surgical robot was already in position, undergoing intense testing. The list of surgical team members was being drafted. Today was Peipei’s last day in the regular ward; she would soon enter the sterile chamber [a specialized isolation room] for final surgical preparations.
When the first strand of hair fell, Peipei began to sob quietly. The electric clippers buzzed by her ear as hair continuously fell, piling up at her feet. The medical staff held her scalp, gently comforting her: “Be good, Peipei, don’t cry. It will grow back later.”
“But… being bald… is ugly,” she bit her finger, and even though tears and mucus ran down to her clothes, she remained still, cooperating obediently with the doctor.
“Let me do it,” Jiang Jing took the clippers from the nurse and grabbed a tissue to wipe her nose.
“Mama…” Peipei cried even harder.
“Peipei,” she touched her shiny forehead, then removed her own wig and placed the child’s hand on her head.
“Mama is just like you. No matter how you look, you’ll always be the most beautiful child in Mama’s heart.”
Fu Peiqi touched her mother’s head, then her own, feeling the same prickly sensation on both.
She looked at her mother with wide eyes, gradually stopping her cries. With pursed lips, she made an expression between crying and laughing. A bubble of mucus popped on her face with a “pa” sound, and she finally smiled, sweetly hugging her mother’s neck.
Jiang Jing held her, wiping tears on the child’s soft back. When she turned around, she saw Fu Lei standing at the door, and only went out after the child had calmed down.
Fu Lei pointed at her head: “When did you shave it?”
Jiang Jing smiled somewhat embarrassedly: “She’s entering the chamber today. I was worried she’d cry when getting her hair cut, so I went to the salon to shave mine. It’s like keeping her company.”
“Give it to me.”
“What?”
The wig in her hand was taken away as Fu Lei stepped closer to put it on her head, adjusting its position.
He examined her appearance: “Hmm, this looks better.”
Jiang Jing’s face reddened: “Get out of here.”
He touched the thin layer of stubble on his own head and smiled: “Maybe I should go get a shaved head too.”
“Aren’t two bald heads enough? We’ll look awful.”
“Hahahahaha, not enough. We’re a family of three after all.”
Yu Gui stood at the corridor corner, leaning against the wall with her eyes slightly closed, the can in her hand slightly dented from her tight grip.
She threw it into the trash bin with a clang and walked into the darkness.
When the oncologist sent the test results, Lu Qingshi was sitting in her chair, resting with closed eyes. Even when alone, her back remained unconsciously straight, hands placed on the desk – the posture of someone ready to rush out for emergency patient care at any moment.
Until a soft “ding dong” broke her brief rest. Lu Qingshi’s fingertips slid across the screen, enlarging the scanned document. The tumor marker hemoglobin [a protein that indicates tumor progression]… had risen again.
The doctor closed her eyes as the winter rain arrived as expected, leaving winding trails of water on the glass.
Someone knocked.
She sat up straighter: “Come in.”
Yu Gui: “Teacher Lu, department-wide meeting.”
Lu Qingshi picked up her white coat and stood up: “Let’s go.”
She pushed open the door and surveyed the conference room, her lips curling into a sneer: “Since when did our Emergency Department meetings require outsiders?”
Fu Lei and Jiang Jing sat at the lower end, silent.
Someone else occupied the main seat, which had originally been Xu Qiankun’s position, then hers, and now…
Meng Jihua sat in a wheelchair wearing hospital clothes. He began coughing violently, and no one paid attention to her sarcasm. Yu Gui ran to get a cup of hot water and placed it in front of him, while Liu Changsheng patted his back to help him breathe.
Meng Jihua waved at her, his eyes clouded, clearly in the terminal stages of illness: “Sit down, child.”
Lu Qingshi had no intention of sharing a room with those two “people,” and maintained her position at the door, ready to close it.
Meng Jihua looked at her. With oxygen tubes in his nose, speaking was difficult, and he started coughing after just a few words.
“Qingshi, I have some final words for you.”
Lu Qingshi’s hand froze on the door handle.
“This is the appointment letter for Department Chief…” Liu Changsheng pushed forward a thin piece of paper as Meng Jihua spoke between heavy breaths.
“Sign it… and you’ll become both Administrative Chief and Ward Director of Emergency… I know you had many disagreements with Old Xu when he was here. At that time, I had to compromise your position for long-term planning and the hospital’s overall situation.”
“But now…” he clutched his chest, his voice weakening, “you can make your own decisions.”
The thin paper showed a salary beyond her expectations. Lu Qingshi smiled slightly and adjusted her position to sit more comfortably.
Liu Changsheng, seeing her inscrutable expression still carrying traces of mockery, continued: “Dr. Lu, you’re still young, with many possibilities ahead. You’ll certainly go much further than Old Meng and me, so please accept this. It’s Old Meng’s sincere intention.”
Lu Qingshi’s fingertips tapped the thin paper, a cold smile on her lips. Yu Gui had never seen Teacher Lu like this before.
Cold, sharp, bristling with thorns.
“I think you’re using money to insult me, wanting me to save their child.”
She laughed coldly, shaking her head: “I’d rather watch that child die and see their agonized expressions.”
Yu Gui pressed her lips together, but looking up, she saw Fu Lei and Jiang Jing sitting in the corner, unexpectedly calm.
Just the head-shaking motion sent Meng Jihua into violent coughing. He covered his lips, his hand’s back textured like orange peel.
Lu Qingshi’s gaze flickered.
“No… we want you to… save yourself.”
“I said long ago… training a surgeon isn’t easy… training an excellent surgeon is even more difficult,” he hunched in the wheelchair, skeletal, coughing, reminding her of a lecture from long, long ago.
Back then, he had been full of energy, wearing a crisp white coat with his Deanโs badge, speaking passionately from the auditorium podium, showing genuine emotion.
“Failure shouldn’t be an excuse to retreat, but a reason to push forward… Qingshi,” he seemed to sigh, with regret: “You’ve already gone further than me, your grandfather, and most doctors in this world, but that’s not the end… as long as you’re alive… nothing is the end…”
“You should live… to… to save… more people,” he coughed violently, dark red blood seeping through his fingers.
“More… people who need help… more incurable people…”
“Old Meng!” Liu Changsheng noticed something wrong and rushed to support him, pulling his hands away to reveal bright red blood, instantly breaking into tears.
Fu Lei stood up, and Jiang Jing also rose: “First, please allow us to apologize for what happened before, and for the unpleasantness that day.”
They both bowed deeply.
Lu Qingshi clenched her fists as her head began to throb.
“But we’re not here about Peipei’s condition, but about your own brain tumor. Qing…” he paused, switching to a title she might find more acceptable.
“Dr. Lu, your grandfather is very worried about your condition. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have sent the Da Vinci all the way to Renji Medical University.”
“Let our team perform your surgery. Only by living can you save more people.”
She remembered long, long ago, during her school days, not long after meeting Fu Lei. She sat on the library steps reading, sunlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows, creating dappled shadows on the floor.
The young man, holding a heavy ใAnatomyใ textbook, nudged her arm: “Qingshi, why did you choose to study medicine?”
The young woman closed her book and smiled at him: “Because I want to save more people.”
“What a coincidence! Me too!”
The young man scratched the back of his head, smiling.
Lu Qingshi closed her eyes, a cold smile appearing on her lips, laughing uncontrollably, her body slightly trembling. Her ice-cold gaze, like a snake’s, stabbed at everyone in the room like knives.
“All that talk about wanting to save more people, to help every patient in need – it’s really just about wanting to save your own daughter. You know your fancy machine can’t prevent all bleeding, so you need a surgeon experienced in ex vivo tumor organ resection. But my current condition prevents me from performing major surgeries lasting over six hours, so you want to operate on me first. If successful, you get two wins – I’ll be gratefully obliged to operate on that little bastard, and if unsuccessful, I’ll just be a human experiment.”
She gritted her teeth: “That’s it, isn’t it?! Am I wrong?!”
Fu Lei slowly shook his head, stepping forward: “No, I want to save both you and Peipei.”
“I won’t deny wanting you to be Peipei’s lead surgeon. You’re the world’s first person with experience in this type of surgery, and Peipei isn’t RH negative [a blood type factor], which increases the success rate by at least 5%…”
Lu Qingshi violently interrupted: “Enough! Do you know how I gained my experience?! It came from our son’s death…”
At some point, her eyes had reddened, and she held her forehead to fight off waves of pain.
“Fu Lei, do you have any heart left? He was your son too…”
Fu Lei was even more heartbroken, a tall man crying in front of so many people, while Jiang Jing clung to his arm, silently weeping.
“Peipei is my daughter too.”
“Do you understand what it feels like to have two children struck by the same disease?”
“Lu Qingshi, you don’t understand.”
He covered his face with his hands: “If someone must be punished, punish me! Why target my child? Why, why, WHY!!!”
Lu Qingshi watched this dramatic scene.
The winter rain finally turned to light snow, the last green plant on the windowsill collapsing under the frost and snow.
It was time to make a final break.
She slowly stood up, taking the appointment letter. Yu Gui watched as she tore it into pieces bit by bit, casually tossing them into the air, creating an indoor blizzard.
Standing at the center of this storm, she gently removed her badge and pressed it on the table. When her palm lifted, beneath it was an expressionless face.
Yu Gui had often felt that face was smiling, but not at this moment.
“From today on, my career at Renji Medical University is over.”
“I will no longer be a doctor, nor will I ever pick up a surgical knife to save anyone again.”
“After all, I’m also someone who’s about to die, aren’t I?”
With the soft sound of her closing the door as she left, the young person’s eyes suddenly reddened, but another man rushed out after her before they could.
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