Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 106

Volume 3: Transition

Snow Stops

She wore nothing except underwear

Lu Qingshi was awakened by nightmares in the middle of the night, with a ring of fine sweat around her neck. She turned on the light and sat up in bed. French Fries ran away from her arms, and the other side of the bed was empty.

            

The doctor pressed her lips together, picked up her phone to check the time – 4:30 AM. In winter, daylight comes late, and it was still pitch black outside. She mindlessly scrolled through the screen when a message caught her eye.

“Breaking news: At the Jinghang line train accident site, a crane suddenly collapsed during lifting operations, several firefighters injured—”

She only read the first half of the sentence before her head buzzed, feeling as if her whole body was submerged in cold water, unable to breathe.

            

The news was posted an hour ago.

Lu Qingshi steadied her forehead for three seconds, quickly threw off the covers and got out of bed, gathering things while making a hands-free call to the hospital.

The on-duty staff answered.

            

Her voice carried a barely noticeable anxiety: “Have any injured firefighters been brought in?”

The staff member, checking the records of all patients admitted to Renji Medical University, flipped through some papers: “No, Director Lu, just some regular patients.”

Lu Qingshi’s brow remained furrowed: “Alright, understood.”

            

Not bothering to put on shoes, barefoot on the cold floor, Lu Qingshi stood on tiptoe to take down the medical kit from the top of the study room cabinet. Inside were various syringes, needles, and life-saving medicines.

She also took the stethoscope from the human skeleton and stuffed it in. Because her movements were so rushed and hurried, the skeleton model shook a couple times and almost fell apart.

“What else… what else?” Lu Qingshi ran around the house with the medical kit like a headless fly [frantically/aimlessly]. Usually composed, she bit her lower lip tightly, breaking into a fine sweat even in winter.

            

“Car… car keys… and… AED… where’s the AED! [Automated External Defibrillator]” She started rummaging through cabinets again, finally pulling it out from the space under the wardrobe, carried it to the living room in one go, grabbed the keys from the entryway, then pitter-pattered back to the bedroom to get her phone.

Lu Qingshi took a deep breath and pushed open the door. A tall figure stood in the dim hallway, stepping back a few steps when she opened the door. Fear instantly crept up her heart, and a scream rolled in her throat several times, but just as it was about to escape, Gu Yanzhi covered her mouth.

“It’s me, I’m back.” The slightly tired voice and warm breath fell near her ear, her hands still carrying the unpleasant smell of mud, sand, and machine oil.

            

Lu Qingshi’s suspended heart finally settled, and her eyes secretly grew moist in the damp, cold air.

Seeing her calm down, Gu Yanzhi stepped forward, pushed her inside, and gently closed the door with her right hand, shutting out the cold air.

The heating inside was strong. In the alternating cold and heat, her face mask developed a layer of white fog. Gu Yanzhi took it off, smoothed her messy hair: “Where were you going so late at night?”

            

Lu Qingshi choked up, quietly moving her hands holding the first-aid kit behind her. She couldn’t possibly say she thought she was injured and was running to save her.

That would be… losing face.

So the doctor turned her face away, biting her lip in silence, and after a while said: “Why were you standing at the door without knocking so late at night?”

            

She had returned the house key to her before leaving. Gu Yanzhi just smiled, those eyes that were firm and determined at rescue scenes were gentle and soft before her.

“Afraid of waking you, thought I’d wait a bit, since you usually wake up around six anyway.”

Her heart felt suddenly struck by something both sour and bitter [complex emotions]. Lu Qingshi raised her hand to shield her eyes, still unable to shake off the panic of thinking something had happened to her.

            

She felt she had become unlike herself.

Since getting sick, she had become sensitive, fragile, and prone to crying.

Though Gu Yanzhi was clearly younger than her, she was always taking care of her, concerning herself with her, considering her feelings, and understanding her difficulties.

            

That thread of guilt and the indescribable joy of seeing her standing before her again, the happiness of losing and regaining, intertwined together, making the doctor’s throat tighten and eyes grow warm.

Gu Yanzhi took off her dirty coat and came to hug her, pulling her into her embrace, gently patting her back to comfort her: “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m fine now, be good~ I was just worried you’d be anxious if you saw the news, so after sending my teammate to the hospital, I rushed back to find you, but you still…”

“Still what…” Lu Qingshi choked up, lightly hitting her shoulder: “You didn’t even call me.”

            

“The mountain area had unstable signal, couldn’t get a call out,” Gu Yanzhi pressed her forehead against hers, slightly bending down to accommodate her height, nose touching nose, in a very intimate posture.

Her breath still carried the scent of ice, snow, and tobacco.

“Were you planning to look for me dressed like this?”

            

Lu Qingshi belatedly looked at herself and instantly blushed.

Her pajamas were still wet from washing, so after her shower she had casually grabbed one of Gu Yanzhi’s T-shirts to sleep in, its long hem barely covering her bottom, faintly revealing black narrow fabric [underwear].

The fullness of a mature woman made two pink points [nipples] visible through the white shirt, her straight and long legs stood on the ground, toes curling slightly self-consciously when her gaze fell on them, her ankles small and rounded.

            

She wore nothing except underwear.

Gu Yanzhi’s throat went dry, her hands around her waist tightened. Lu Qingshi propped her hands on her shoulders, slightly turned her face away, biting her lower lip: “Too… too rushed…”

The person buried in her neck laughed softly, and in the next moment she was lifted into the air. She didn’t carry her horizontally, but lifted her directly, hands parting her thighs, pushing upward, forcing Lu Qingshi to wrap her arms tightly around her neck.

            

Soft met rough, her clothes were damp and cold, her thighs were warm and tender.

Between their moving steps, something was fermenting and warming up. Lu Qingshi squeezed her slim waist tightly, burying her head in her neck like a shy quail.

Until she pressed her into the soft bed, Lu Qingshi raised her hand to press against her forehead: “Go shower…”

            

Gu Yanzhi pulled her hand away: “One kiss first, then I’ll go.”

“Or else—” she smiled, her eyes curving like crescent moons, like a clever and lively fox.

Lu Qingshi held down her restless hands, tightly closed her eyes, offered her lips, quickly brushing against the corner of her mouth.

            

The greedy fire instructor naturally couldn’t be satisfied with such small play: “Two kisses.”

“You… mmph… too much!” Amidst the subtle rustling of fabric, her delicate wrists suddenly gripped the sheets tightly. Lu Qingshi tilted her head back, broken breaths escaping between her lips.

Those eyes in the darkness were black and bright, still wet with a watery shine, like a startled deer in the forest.

            

She tried to kick her, but she caught her ankle.

She tried to hit her, but she pinned her arms.

Everything was both gentle and intense.

            

Gu Yanzhi needed a long kiss to fill the emptiness inside and comfort her travel weariness.

She kissed her patiently, from light touches to gradually deepening, she didn’t know any techniques, just traced her contours over and over again, tasting her sweetness, consuming all tenderness.

Clothes rustled softly together, fingers intertwined, legs overlapped, sheets wrinkled, body temperature gradually rising.

            

Her increasingly heavy breathing, her disordered breaths, whimpers that became difficult to suppress.

But Gu Yanzhi was ultimately a gentle and restrained person. Even with reddened eyes, she reluctantly got up, tucking in the blanket for her.

“I’m going to shower.”

            

Lu Qingshi’s face wasn’t the only thing that was red, her neck was also pink and white. She curled herself into a ball, not daring to look at her.

“We’ll continue when I come back,” she kissed her forehead before leaving.

A pillow hit her back.

            

The doctor’s weak roar: “In your dreams!”

When news of Xu Qiankun’s death arrived, Meng Jihua could no longer get out of bed. As if he had already foreseen his own future, he closed his eyes slightly, fog rising on his oxygen mask.

Liu Changsheng gently removed it for him: “Old Meng… you can’t have anything happen to you too…”

            

Even at this time, he was still concerned about the emergency department without its leader [literally: ‘dragons without a head’]. Meng Jihua breathed with difficulty, his nasal voice heavy.

“If I… pass away… the hospital… I leave to you… Emergency Department… give to… Lu Qingshi…”

Liu Changsheng shook his head, holding his friend’s hand: “That child… won’t agree…”

            

Meng Jihua closed his eyes briefly, let out a long breath, his chest rising and falling, already so thin he barely looked human.

“How’s that matter with Changsheng Biology going?”

“It’s settled, but they say about this surgery…” he paused, hesitating: “Lu Qingshi must be the lead surgeon.”

            

This was a surgery that could change the course of human medicine, unprecedented in history.

Meng Jihua gripped his hand tightly: “No matter what… persuade her to accept the surgery… if not for herself… then for Lele…”

It was a sleepless night.

            

The snow had stopped.

The winter morning air was crisp and fresh, the sun hadn’t yet shown its head, the rosy dawn glow hidden in clouds, pale blue mist floating between tall buildings, street lights not yet extinguished, starlight already fading.

Her girlfriend was accompanying someone else.

            

Yu Gui carried a can of cola up to the rooftop. Even though she was sad and upset, she still remembered the rules – no alcohol during work hours.

Hao Renjie clinked drinks with her lightly, everyone avoided talking about relationships, instead discussing Xu Qiankun.

Yu Gui only now learned that his wife had been in a car accident years ago, hit by a drunk driver and became a vegetative patient, lying unconscious in a high-end care facility in Beijing to this day.

            

He never remarried, lived with his mother, and raised his daughter alone. The money he earned was partly spent on his wife’s medical bills, and partly saved for his daughter, sending her to the best kindergarten, giving her the best education, ensuring the best in food, clothing, housing, and transportation.

Under his worldly, jaded exterior lay a heart of responsibility that, while not deeply romantic, was very dutiful.

Hao Renjie asked: “Can you forgive him?”

            

Yu Gui thought for a while, shook her head: “Still can’t forgive.”

Those things he did to her had deeply impacted her life. She had suffered, struggled, and given up because of them. She thought, she couldn’t forgive him.

But this pain also sparked her competitive spirit, making her stronger.

            

Sometimes right and wrong, cause and effect, are hard to distinguish clearly.

Yu Gui thought, but what does it matter? Her dislike of him didn’t prevent her from respecting his identity as a doctor.

He was an admirable doctor, but not an admirable person.

            

After a while, the young person finished the last sip of cola, shook her head and smiled.

Actually, what did it matter how she viewed him?

As long as Xu Qiankun’s mother and his daughter respected him, loved him, and considered their son and father a respectable hero, that was enough.

            

Yu Gui understood some things, stood up, stretched: “Let’s go, it’s dawn, time to get to work.”

The burdens on both their shoulders were heavy, they weren’t people who could rest, so after a brief nap, they went their separate ways. This time Gu Yanzhi didn’t have time to make her breakfast, each took a piece of bread to eat while walking.

Gu Yanzhi went to the fire station, Lu Qingshi to the hospital, but when passing a small street stall, the doctor rolled down her car window.

            

Soon, the craftsman handed her the duplicated keys. Lu Qingshi passed over some change, put the two identical sets of keys in her bag, shifted gears and set off again.

Yu Gui had already informed her by phone about Xu Qiankun’s unfortunate sacrifice. She had expected the Emergency Department to be somewhat depressed today, but surprisingly found it running smoothly and orderly.

Interns were busy at their posts, nurses at the triage desk were busy receiving patients. She arrived a bit late, attending physicians had already started rounds. Lu Qingshi walked over, they automatically made way for her, she stood on the patient’s right side, others lined up in order.

            

The observation room was still overcrowded with patients. Lu Qingshi checked each one, examining the medical records and attending physician’s rounds notes, occasionally asking questions. Those called upon all answered fluently. The head nurse reported the night shift situation, she removed her stethoscope and nodded.

“Well done.”

The accident had caused everyone in the Emergency Department to grow up quickly.

            

She glanced at the photo posted on the corridor wall, one of the few department group photos. She stood next to Xu Qiankun, her expression a bit arrogant, while Xu Qiankun smiled sleazily [in a way typical of middle-aged men].

No matter how sleazy, now it couldn’t be seen anymore.

The doctor exhaled: “Alright, today’s rounds end here. Those with outpatient duties go to clinics, those with surgeries do surgeries, interns help in emergency observation, report problems immediately, dismissed!”

            

Lu Qingshi’s days were always busy. There was much follow-up work after the disaster. Besides routine outpatient surgeries, mountains of records, forms, and lists piled up on her desk.

As an intern, Yu Gui was even busier, her busyness showing in physical labor – often running from building to building fetching things, doing surgery in one building, attending classes in another, following Lu Qingshi to outpatient clinics to gain experience, improving surgical skills, occasionally comforting patients, and helping other doctors with errands and assistance.

As for An Ran’s condition, after she was admitted to the hospital and received by the neurosurgery department, she stopped inquiring about it, but couldn’t stop people from asking repeatedly.

            

The usually gentle person finally lost her temper after writing another medical record wrong: “Go ask the neurosurgery doctors! Why ask me?! I’m just an intern!!!!”

Fang Zhiyou suddenly fell silent, it wasn’t that she really wanted to ask about it, mainly she wanted to see her a few more times, wanted to talk with her. They hadn’t shared a bed for a while, she missed her.

“Sorry…”

            

“Stop,” Yu Gui cut her off: “If you mention An Ran to me again, I’ll move out.”

Fang Zhiyou suddenly became anxious: “What did I do?! I didn’t do anything! You’re really wronging me about this, Xiaogui, listen to my explanation!”

No matter how much she argued, Yu Gui just silently shook her head: “It has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do, it’s that I can’t get past this in my heart.”

            

Fang Zhiyou’s eyes suddenly became soft and sad, quietly looking at her, lips moving several times but saying nothing.

Yu Gui smiled: “Give me time, after a while… it’ll be fine.”

Let time solve all things that can’t be resolved, someday she would forget An Ran, start over with her, return to how they were before.

            

But what she didn’t expect was that An Ran wouldn’t give her time.

“Come in,” Yu Gui knocked twice on the door, heard the response, and pushed it open.

Lu Qingshi closed the folder in her hand: “What is it?”

            

“Oh, nothing much, just wanted to tell you, Director Xu’s memorial service will be held tomorrow at 2 PM at the Jinzhou Funeral Home.”

“Alright,” Lu Qingshi nodded, unusually wearing black-framed glasses on her nose bridge, holding a 2B pencil, the sleeve of her white coat somewhat dirty, seemingly having been sketching.

Yu Gui stood on tiptoes trying to peek.

            

Lu Qingshi expressionlessly: “Have you finished copying 《Surgery》?”

Someone fled with rolling buttocks and leaking urine [an idiom meaning to flee in great haste].

The doctor’s lips curved into a smile in the warm winter sun of late December.

            

Opening the sketchbook revealed a pencil drawing.

As a medical student, her drawing foundation was very solid. Besides anatomical drawings of human organs, she could draw anything lifelike.

The teacher who taught her drawing once said: “If one day you stop being a doctor, you could make a living with this skill.”

            

Lu Qingshi had just smiled it off.

What she really wanted to draw was just that one person, one cat, and one dog.

On the day of the memorial service, Gu Yanzhi specially took leave to attend with her. Both wore all black – she in a black coat and trousers, dress shirt underneath, black leather shoes. The tie was tied by Lu Qingshi. She rarely wore formal clothes and felt somewhat awkward.

            

Lu Qingshi adjusted her shoulders: “Very handsome.”

The fire instructor’s eyes narrowed in a smile at this praise, kissed her hand’s back: “You too.”

Lu Qingshi wore a simple black suit and black pencil pants. Though she usually disliked high heels, she wore them today. She wore no accessories, only a white flower pinned to her chest, elegant and clean.

            

Gu Yanzhi took her hand: “Let’s go.”

When soldiers die in service, their coffins are covered with the national flag, while doctors’ are covered with the Red Cross flag symbolizing humanity, universal love, dedication, and sacrifice.

In some sense, these two professions have different paths to the same goal.

            

Lu Qingshi stepped forward to offer a bouquet of chrysanthemums.

The wind carried the fragrance of chrysanthemums across the hills, snow on branches melting, the winter sky high and distant. Though far from the season of revival, winter was finally coming to an end.

Yu Gui bowed along with everyone else. The little girl held by Mother Xu remained well-behaved throughout, not crying or making a fuss during the entire funeral. Only when her grandmother’s eyes turned red did she take tissues from her small pocket to wipe her grandmother’s tears.

            

Only when the coffin lid was sealed did grandmother and granddaughter finally cry silently.

After the funeral, Yu Gui went over and gave this well-behaved little girl a lollipop. It was given to her by the child Xu Qiankun had saved. She had carried it for a very long time; when she took it from her pocket, the wrapper was wrinkled.

She stroked the little girl’s soft hair, saying softly: “Your father is a hero.”

            

The little girl, holding the candy, ran a few steps after her: “Sister Yu.”

She stopped her steps, looked back.

The little girl smiled brightly at her, eyes still red: “Thank you.”

            

Yu Gui waved her hand, turned and strode away.

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