Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 100

Volume 3: Transition

Daily Life

I will always remember you, and I will live well in your place

Lu Qingshi came out after changing clothes, and Gu Yanzhi had been waiting in the hallway for a long time. Seeing how thinly she was dressed, she immediately wrapped her scarf around her.

            

“How is it going?”

“They sent her to the ICU. The follow-up anti-infection treatment is still an issue.” The warm scarf around her neck made her whole body feel cozy, and Lu Qingshi smiled slightly.

“You’ve waited long. Let’s go home.”

            

“Okay.” As she was about to go get the car, Lu Qingshi held her back: “It’s been a while since I rode your motorcycle. I want to ride it today.”

Gu Yanzhi initially wanted to refuse because the weather was cold and the wind would be strong on the motorcycle, worried she might get cold. But thinking again, it was rare for her to make a request, so she agreed, handed her the helmet, and took off her coat to wrap her up thoroughly.

“Hey… no need… I’m not cold…” Despite her words, her breath instantly turned into white mist. Gu Yanzhi patted the back seat.

            

“That’s enough, get on quickly. You’re tired today too, let’s go home and rest early.”

Lu Qingshi gently wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder, not saying anything more. The motorcycle started moving, silently joining the river of traffic and lights.

She remembered long ago when she deliberately sped up just to make her hug tighter, which now seemed incredibly childish. But thanks to that childishness, she managed to achieve ‘sincerity that can pierce through stone’ (suggesting that genuine dedication can overcome any obstacle).

            

“It’s snowing.” A cool sensation fell on her forehead. Lu Qingshi looked up to see snowflakes falling all around.

“What’s wrong? You seem to be in a bad mood today?” Gu Yanzhi observed her expression through the rearview mirror while driving.

“Is it because of Qin Xuan? I think she’ll definitely get better…”

            

Lu Qingshi tightened her arms around her slightly, her voice lowering: “It’s not entirely because of her. I just feel that maybe… I’ve been too selfish…”

Yu Gui was right. Gu Yanzhi loved her so much, yet she couldn’t accompany her through the rest of her life. She fulfilled her own desire for companionship but dragged her into an irredeemable situation. This was both cruel and unfair to her.

Gu Yanzhi gripped the handlebars without looking back: “Let’s not talk about this now.”

            

“Hm?” Lu Qingshi was puzzled.

“I’m driving. I’m afraid I might drive into a ditch. Let’s talk properly when we get home.”

No matter when, she could always make her gloomy mood better. Lu Qingshi’s lips curved slightly as she leaned against her back.

            

“Okay.”

In the deep night when people are quiet, Xiang Nanke pulled out her IV and got down from the hospital bed. She quietly pushed open the door and stumbled to the ICU entrance, following her memories from earlier that day. Qin Xuan lay inside, covered in tubes but appearing as if she was just sleeping.

The usually straight-backed police officer slightly hunched over, using her good hand to gently trace Qin Xuan’s silhouette on the glass.

            

On that cold winter night, she had stood for a long time in her hospital gown and came to understand some things. When she gets better, she has something she wants to tell her.

Qin Xuan, you must get better.

“Here, this month’s salary,” Shangshanruishui handed over the game currency in a face-to-face transaction. “Go exchange it yourself. I’ll be logging off soon.”

            

Recently, she’s often offline, appearing and disappearing mysteriously, and has transferred guild affairs to her.

Fang Zhiyou hesitated with the money: “Nothing’s wrong with you, right?”

That person smiled faintly. It was the first time she heard her speak – her voice was clear and pleasant, with a hint of frailty.

            

“No… it’s just a shame I can’t join you all in the national championship.”

“Is that so? Don’t worry, we’ll definitely win the national championship.”

The young person typed these words with determination, backed by teammates wearing the same guild name, ready for battle.

            

“An Ran, it’s time for your injection and medicine.” In a high-end care facility in the suburbs of Jinzhou, a nurse gently opened the door. The young girl sitting up in bed closed her laptop.

“Okay.”

“Is there really no way?” Outside the door, the girl’s parents were discussing her condition with the doctor. An Ran’s mother leaned on her husband, tears streaming down her face.

            

The doctor shook his head: “Renji’s neurosurgery department is very good. I suggest you try there, but ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) is a challenging problem worldwide. I still suggest you prepare yourselves mentally.”

Gu Yanzhi came out after showering, drying her hair with a towel. She shuffled over in slippers and lay down on her lap, imitating French Fries.

Lu Qingshi turned a page in her book and naturally took the towel to massage her curly hair, fingers gently cushioning the back of her head with just the right pressure. Someone contentedly narrowed their eyes.

            

“Qingshi.”

“Hmm?”

She paused her movements to look at her. Their eyes met, and tender love flowed between their gazes. Gu Yanzhi reached up to caress her cheek and spoke with a slightly sighing tone.

            

“Which do you think is more painful – having once possessed something or never having it at all?”

The doctor frowned unconsciously while pondering the question. After a long while, she silently shook her head.

“Both are painful.”

            

“No… you’ve said it yourself, the time spent with Lele was irreplaceable. Without Lele, you wouldn’t have experienced that later pain, but you also wouldn’t have known the joy of being a mother.”

Whenever this topic came up, the doctor’s eyes would slightly redden. Gu Yanzhi grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers.

“It’s the same for me. You are also an irreplaceable time in my life. No matter how difficult the days ahead might be, just thinking that you once vibrantly appeared in my life gives me strength to move forward. I will always remember you, and I will live well in your place, fulfilling those dreams we didn’t have time to complete.”

            

“If… if that day really comes…” Those amber pupils filled with tears. Somehow, the fire instructor who was always strong in front of others became as vulnerable as a child before her.

But Lu Qingshi loved this softness, loved her occasional childishness, though that didn’t mean she liked her tears.

“Don’t say more…” The doctor covered her eyelids with her hand, feeling warmth against her palm. That warm flow converged in her heart, nourishing the dried land.

            

How fortunate to have met you.

She slowly bent down, gently offering her lips.

Actually, she wasn’t very experienced with kissing, and had never dated a girl before, so her first impression upon kissing was: so soft.

            

The mint-like fragrance was intoxicating. Lu Qingshi slightly closed her eyes, eyelashes fluttering, ear tips turning red.

The person beneath seemed to freeze, not daring to move. Her long hair fell down, brushing against her collarbone, causing a tingling sensation.

It felt like a cat’s paw scratching inside her heart. In Lu Qingshi’s brief life so far, she had never experienced such an unbearable yearning. Instinct prompted her to gently suck once, and Gu Yanzhi reflexively extended her tongue.

            

The doctor suddenly came to her senses, her face burning red as she hastily got up, practically wanting to dump a bucket of cold water on herself to cool down.

Heavens! What was she doing?! This was… too embarrassing!

But Gu Yanzhi didn’t give her a chance to escape, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down, turning over to successfully switch from defense to offense.

            

French Fries ran away from her embrace, Lu Qingshi’s book fell to the ground, and only the TV’s sound continued buzzing until a healthy-colored arm reached out from the sofa to turn it off.

The room fell into silence, amplifying those muffled wet sounds. Lu Qingshi barely escaped from under her lips, clutching at her clothes, eyes moist like a startled deer in the forest.

The spaghetti strap dress was already disheveled, straps sliding down to her arms, revealing thin collarbones and rounded shoulders.

            

She slightly furrowed her brows, speaking softly to her, unknowingly seductive.

“I’m very tired today…”

“Tomorrow’s a rest day, I’ll stay home with you,” Gu Yanzhi leaned down.

            

Lu Qingshi pushed her head up again: “But…”

The fire instructor’s lips curled into a playful smile, eyes gleaming in the darkness, as if saying ‘I’d like to see what excuse you have to refuse me now.’

Lu Qingshi carefully said: “My period hasn’t ended yet…”

            

The fire instructor wailed dramatically and fell back on the sofa, whimpering that this was too cruel – after 29 years of abstinence, just when she was about to ‘eat meat’, the ready-to-eat Qingshi flew away. Ahhhhhhh!!!!

“Hey—” Even after lying in bed, that person still looked sulky. Lu Qingshi poked her shoulder, no response, then poked again.

“Hey— don’t be angry anymore.”

            

That person simply turned over to sleep, burying her fluffy head into the covers. Lu Qingshi couldn’t help but imagine her biting the pillowcase saying “I hate this!” and burst out laughing.

Gu Yanzhi turned back and tickled her: “You’re still laughing! No laughing allowed! Take my Nine Yin White Bone Claw!” (Note: “九陰白骨爪” is a playful reference to a martial arts move from Chinese wuxia fiction)

“Ah~ Okay, I’ll stop laughing, I’ll stop~” Lu Qingshi surrendered first, curling up in her embrace and finding a comfortable position before closing her eyes.

            

“Gu Yanzhi”

“Hmm?”

“Sleepy,” she let out a small yawn.

            

Gu Yanzhi held her tighter, gently placing a kiss on her forehead: “Sleep then.”

“Good night”

“Good night”

            

“Finally found you! Aiya, what’s up with that roommate of yours? We could clearly hear gaming sounds, but she wouldn’t open the door no matter how much we knocked.”

Yu Gui, returning late at night, met the landlady downstairs and immediately put on an awkward smile: “She might not have heard. Sorry for making you come all the way here. Is something wrong?”

“This month’s rent is due, right? Oh, and I forgot to tell you, starting this month, rent is increasing by 200 yuan. Everyone else has paid, you’re the only ones left. Get on it quickly.”

            

“Increase? But when we signed the contract…” Before she could finish, the chubby-faced landlady impatiently waved her hand.

“Yeah yeah yeah, don’t give me all that talk. Pay if you want to stay, pack up and get out if you don’t! I haven’t even complained about you guys disturbing everyone with your gaming all day!”

Yu Gui quickly offered up the fruit she was carrying: “Don’t be angry, just give us two more days. I’ll pay as soon as I get my salary…”

            

Click—

Yu Gui turned on the living room light. Fang Zhiyou was curled up in a chair gaming, with unfinished instant noodles beside her. Dirty clothes were messily piled on the sofa, the ashtray was full of cigarette butts, and breakfast bowls still soaked in the sink. Anger rose in her heart.

“Fang Zhiyou, can you wash the breakfast bowls right after eating?! Leaving them so long will breed bacteria!”

            

Fang Zhiyou barely heard what she said, just glancing up briefly: “Ah, you’re back. Let me finish this game and I’ll cook.”

“Left side, mage back up, yes, yes, healer heal!”

“Good, well done!”

            

The keyboard clatter mixed with her somewhat excited voice. Yu Gui clenched her fists, walked over and slammed the table, accidentally unplugging the power cord. The computer screen went black with a snap.

“I’m talking to you, can you hear me?!”

The headphones suddenly went silent, and what could have been a winning match was completely lost due to this interruption. Fang Zhiyou jumped up: “Are you crazy?! Coming home just to get angry!”

            

“Don’t you know why I’m angry?! Dirty clothes left unwashed! Empty noodle bowls not thrown away! We can barely afford food and you’re still smoking! All you do is play this stupid game all day. This is our home, not a pigsty, can you care a little more?!”

“Did I ask you to wash them when I didn’t?” Fang Zhiyou sneered with a twisted lip: “You’re so busy with work, what right do you have to criticize me? Every time you come home at 11 or 12, I still cook for you, do laundry. Why do you think I play games? It’s because I want to earn more money!”

It was worse bringing up the game – it reminded her of that ambiguous female character, making her feel both wronged and angry. Her eyes reddened as she shouted: “If you don’t want to do it, then don’t! Nobody’s forcing you. You love gaming so much, why don’t you just spend your life with games!”

            

After saying this, she cried, tears flooding out like opened floodgates. Fang Zhiyou froze, seeming about to say something when Yu Gui’s phone vibrated – it was a call from the hospital. She wiped her tears and answered.

“Hello? Yes, I understand. I’ll come right away.”

She had never been so grateful for work, which could temporarily let her escape from this suffocating home.

            

Watching her unhesitatingly turn and leave, Fang Zhiyou sat in her chair, tugging at her hair before taking a deep breath and reopening the computer, ready to try again.

Winning this national competition would not only provide a chance to join a professional esports club’s youth training program but also came with a 50,000 yuan prize. It wasn’t just about her promise to Shangshanruishui, but also for herself and Yu Gui – she wanted a better future with her.

Opening the curtains in the morning, Lu Qingshi exclaimed: “It’s snowing!”

            

Soon after, the corridor door opened, and person and dog rushed out. Gu Yanzhi, holding French Fries, shouted from behind: “Wait, put your hat on properly!”

Hamburger buried its head in the snow, then shook it out vigorously, splashing snow all over Lu Qingshi as they played together.

Gu Yanzhi made a snowball to throw at her: “Didn’t you used to live in Beijing? Doesn’t it snow there in winter too?”

            

Lu Qingshi dodged while throwing back: “That’s different. Beijing’s snow always mixes with ice pellets, it’s dirty and doesn’t pile up this thick. It usually melts away by morning.”

“Is that so?” She threw another snowball that landed right in her neck, making Lu Qingshi’s face contort from the cold.

“Hamburger, get her!” The obedient big dog climbed out of the snow pile and pounced on her with snow-covered fur, making Gu Yanzhi squeal and run.

            

“Ahhhhhhh Hamburger whose dog are you really?!!!!”

Lu Qingshi held French Fries, laughing until tears came out.

This winter saw many snowfalls, but she never felt cold. Every morning she woke up in her embrace, they went to work together, came home together, spent free time reading books and newspapers, petting the cat and dog, occasionally watching movies while holding a big bucket of popcorn and getting sleepy in the theater. Gu Yanzhi won her many, many plush toys from claw machines, gradually filling half the study.

            

Lu Qingshi would buy fresh flowers from the flower shop, trim the stems and put them in vases, and even tried cooking for her, though she was banned after burning her hand once.

On days without shifts, she would drive to the fire station to pick her up. Spiky Head had recovered but could no longer work on the frontline. He would quickly slide open the guard booth’s window, showing his big white teeth in a smile: “Oh, sister-in-law is here to pick up the boss again.”

Lu Qingshi opened the car door, taking out gifts for him from the trunk – some health supplements and food: “You sweet talker, remember to come for your check-ups regularly.”

            

Spiky Head was still a bit unsteady on his feet but accepted the gifts with shining eyes: “Wow! Sister-in-law always treats us the best. There’s a big competition at the station today, want to watch?”

Lu Qingshi’s eyes lit up.

The sunset spread like a salted egg yolk (Note: A common Chinese metaphor for the orange-yellow sunset) across the buildings, with snow still piled on distant eaves. Her silhouette was blurred by the twilight.

            

On the training field, several people were wrestling. The fire instructor in her camouflage short-sleeves stood tall, her movements graceful and fluid. With each motion, her arm muscles flexed – powerful but not bulky, showing beautiful feminine strength.

Sweat fell from her hair as Gu Yanzhi threw down a trainee several dozen jin (1 jin ≈ 0.5 kg) heavier than herself. Amidst the applause, she saw her.

The doctor stood at the edge of the field in a light trench coat, smiling at her. Gu Yanzhi dropped her towel and ran over.

            

“Captain, are we still competing?”

“No more!” She put on her jacket and walked out with an arm around her shoulders.

Laughter erupted behind them as Lu Qingshi handed her tissue paper with disapproval: “Wipe yourself, you’re all sweaty.”

            

“I’ll shower when we get home, shower when we get home.”

Days flowed by silently like clouds on the horizon. She almost felt time had stopped, and the pain that troubled her had lessened considerably. Both she and Gu Yanzhi were still alive and well. She thought this would be forever, but never imagined Qin Xuan would be the first to leave.

“Here, the last can of coffee. Dr. Lu, now I’ve repaid all my debts to you.”

            

Lu Qingshi paused her writing and looked up along that fair, slender hand to see Qin Xuan, who had grown much thinner. Today was her discharge day, and also her departure day.

“I’ll see you off,” she stood up.

“No need, I’m afraid I might cry, so better not.”

            

She had few possessions, her curly hair loose, carrying just a simple travel bag, wearing an oversized down jacket that made her look somewhat empty inside.

Lu Qingshi gripped her pen tightly: “I never thought you’d be the first to go.”

Qin Xuan stuck out her tongue: “The boss has already waited for me for over a month. If I don’t get back to work, they’ll kill me.”

            

“Alright, then… take care,” she almost struggled to get those two words out.

“Take care,” Qin Xuan opened her arms for a simple hug, and Lu Qingshi hugged her back slowly for the first time.

Today was the day to pick up Qin Xuan from discharge. She woke up very early, went to the flower shop to collect the lilies ordered yesterday, almost skipping on her way to the ward, until she pushed open the door and the uniformed police officer froze for a moment.

            

“Where’s bed fifteen?” The cleaning staff, changing bed sheets without looking up, replied: “Discharged last night, didn’t you know?”

Xiang Nanke’s fresh flowers fell to the ground. She ran frantically like a madwoman, searching everywhere but finding no one, until she stood in the surging crowd with tears streaming down her face.

The plane landed in the early hours, and Qin Xuan removed her SIM card and threw it in the trash. As soon as she walked out of the cabin, she took a deep breath of Shanghai’s humid air and stretched.

            

Million-yuan annual salary, here she comes!

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