Fish Meat – Chapter 262
by Little PandaThe Fifth Year of Guangxing
Unofficial Histories (5)
“How would I know.”
Li Rong knelt seated behind a low table, in the most standard posture of a court official of a previous dynasty meeting their monarch. However, the wine and meat before her remained untouched. Li Rong showed none of the etiquette due to the Crown Prince of a nation, not even glancing at Xiao Xiao, and responded coolly after hearing her doubts.
Xiao Xiao, who had her back to her, immediately turned around. Her gaze swept over Li Rong three times, and she let out a “Sss—” sound, then dismissed everyone else in the hall, leaving only herself and Li Rong.
“What’s wrong, are you still angry?” Xiao Xiao asked her.
Li Rong: “How would this commoner dare to be angry with Your Highness the Crown Prince.”
She said she wasn’t angry, but Li Rong hadn’t looked her properly in the eye from beginning to end. If this wasn’t anger, what was?
With the attendants dismissed, Xiao Xiao couldn’t be bothered to maintain the posture of a Crown Prince any longer. She sat down opposite Li Rong, cupping her chin in her palms like a pitiful little puppy. “Is Gong’er still angry that I left without saying goodbye that day? I know, that night was very important for us. I should have stayed to accompany you. But my Mother Emperor she…”
Li Rong covered her face. “Can we please not mention that matter again? I never intended to take it to heart, and I don’t need you to accompany me. Just don’t mention it again, that’s all.”
“What?” The emotion Xiao Xiao sensed from her was somewhat unexpected. The matter that had been like a fishbone stuck in her throat1 and for which she felt incredibly guilty, Gong’er apparently didn’t care about it at all, even showing considerable disdain when it was mentioned.
Xiao Xiao sat up straight again. “So, to you, that night meant nothing at all, and what’s between us means nothing, right?”
Over a month ago, Zhen Wenjun hadn’t yet gone to Boling, and Xiao Xiao didn’t yet have to oversee the state. It was still very convenient for her to sneak out of the palace to find Li Rong while her mother was busy with state affairs.
At that time, Li Rong had been quite enthusiastic when she saw Xiao Xiao, bustling about to cook for her, accompanying her to the lantern festival, and even having already made a winter mian’ao2 to give her.
“I know you don’t lack for anything, and I know it’s only just summer, but… I was idle and sewed a jacket, originally intending it for myself. I accidentally made it too big. Looking around, none of my acquaintances could fill it out. You’re the only tall one around,” Li Rong had said nonchalantly, as if it were true. “It’s a waste to just leave it lying around, so just take it, Your Highness the Crown Prince.”
Xiao Xiao had wanted nothing more than to put on the mian’ao right then and there under the scorching sun. Li Rong tried to persuade her for a long time, finding her so embarrassing that she almost ran off and pretended not to know her, before Xiao Xiao finally relented.
There probably hadn’t been a more romantic night.
Lotus flowers filled the entire pond. Li Rong poured her wine. That cup of pepper wine3 made her grimace; it was the most unique and potent wine she had ever drunk. The person pouring her wine was just as unique and potent.
Li Rong was very beautiful. This beauty, accompanied by a pitiable life story and her own stubbornness, carried with it a layer of tenderness-inducing desire, a desire to conquer.
Xiao Xiao had long reached the age of exploring all the wonderful things in this world.
The two of them drank some wine, though not very much. The passion they displayed afterwards didn’t quite match those few shallow sips.
From being full of caution to finally surrendering to pleasure, they were, like all young people in their prime, passionate and curious animals, dismantling and pleasing each other.
That night was wonderful, at least Xiao Xiao felt it was exceedingly wonderful.
She wanted to make Li Rong her Crown Princess Consort. She wanted Li Rong to walk steadily in glory and wealth for the rest of her life, never to suffer even the slightest hardship again.
Xiao Xiao held her, swearing an oath to the first ray of light in the sky.
Unfortunately, before this oath could be personally conveyed to Li Rong upon her waking, Xiao Xiao was summoned by the Eastern Palace4 guards, who said the Monarch was looking for her everywhere and ordered her immediate return to the palace.
Only by being obedient now would she have more opportunities to go out and play later. Xiao Xiao knew this well; she had to return at this moment.
She had originally wanted to wake Li Rong to bid her farewell, but seeing Li Rong’s peaceful sleeping face, she couldn’t bear to. In the end, she only squatted by the bed and watched her quietly for a while before reluctantly departing.
Zhen Wenjun was about to set off for Da Cang. Last month, Wei Tingxu had just returned to her country from Changge; this month, Zhen Wenjun couldn’t wait to go find her. It seemed the distance between Boling and Xuzhou hadn’t dampened their passion in the slightest; on the contrary, it made the two of them even more like glue and lacquer5, yearning for each other day and night6.
Zhen Wenjun said that Xiao Xiao already had sufficient ability to manage the Changge Kingdom and that it was precisely the time when she needed to accumulate experience in matters of state. During the days she was away, Xiao Xiao would oversee the state.
Xiao Xiao was long used to it. Her Ah Mu’s traveling palace within Da Cang’s imperial palace was already set up; it clearly signified an intention to reside there permanently. This country would eventually be passed onto her shoulders. For now, Ah Mu could still manage things, and she could occasionally enjoy some leisure. In a few more years, if Ah Mu truly let go and handed everything over to her, that would be when she’d be truly busy.
To avoid being flustered and ruining the kingdom her Ah Mu had single-handedly established when that time came, it was right to learn more now.
“Mother Emperor, please go without worry. Imperial Grandmother and Chancellor Bu are here to guide me. Your child-subject7 will be fine.”
Zhen Wenjun thus departed with such ease. Xiao Xiao, busy for over a month, had constantly wanted to see Li Rong but truly had no time.
She sent people to deliver a letter to her, asking her to come to the palace. The messengers went, but no news came back.
This time, it was Xiao Xiao herself who went and dragged her here. She had thought they could exchange some touching words of longing, but instead, she received a heart-chilling coldness.
Li Rong slowly crawled out from behind the low table, prostrating herself fully8, and said calmly, “Your Highness saved this commoner’s life. This commoner now receives Your Highness’s stipend and is under Your Highness’s protection; this is precisely a master-servant relationship. Whatever Your Highness desires from this commoner, as long as this commoner possesses it, it will surely be given to Your Highness. I only fear that what Your Highness desires is something this commoner does not possess.”
As the last child of the Gulun Grassland, Xiao Xiao had an extreme talent for military campaigns and warfare. However, the environment she grew up in was all about fighting, so it was understandable that she was somewhat slow in matters of affection. But at this moment, she quickly and clearly deciphered the underlying meaning of Li Rong’s words.
“What do I want from you that you don’t have?” Xiao Xiao grabbed her by the back of her collar and lifted her up, her eyes blazing with anger, pointing at Li Rong’s chest. “You have it, you just don’t want to give it!”
Li Rong’s arms hung limply at her sides; she offered no resistance. “Does Your Highness know why Emperor Yumin9 failed?”
This question stunned Xiao Xiao.
“Because her heart was warm. She gave her heart to someone, and with it, she gave away her life. Your Highness understands the peculiarity of this commoner’s status. This commoner still wants to live, even if it’s just a wretched existence.”
Xiao Xiao’s eyes turned red with anger. Reason and the years of training as a Crown Prince forced her to suppress the urge to fly into a rage. “When did you become such a timid10 person? So, that night, you and I…”
“This commoner has said, this commoner owes Your Highness a life. If Your Highness wants it, this commoner will give it.”
With one sweep of her arm, Xiao Xiao sent everything on the low table crashing to the floor. The tremendous impact and shattering sounds made even the beams in the hall tremble.
Li Rong’s sleeves were stained with a lot of soup, yet she remained prostrated in the same spot, without raising her head, without making any movement.
“Get out,” Xiao Xiao said.
Li Rong left. Xiao Xiao remained alone for a long time, until Ah Qiong came to find her.
“Ah Po,” Xiao Xiao still liked to call her this, affectionately. “Ah Po, you’ve lived in this world for so many years, can you tell me, what should one do to forget a person?”
Ah Qiong picked up a handkerchief, moistened it in a jade basin, and gently pressed it onto her swollen eyes.
“I’ve fallen for someone who makes me dislike them. I don’t want to like her anymore. I want to forget her.”
Ah Qiong smiled. “If you don’t truly like her, you’ll cast her to the back of your mind by tomorrow, without needing anyone’s guidance. If you do, then no one’s guidance will work. You can only rely on yourself to slowly digest it, to slowly move away.”
Ah Qiong’s words, rather than helping, made Xiao Xiao even more upset. She lay her head on Ah Qiong’s lap, just like when she was little, snuggling together.
“Has Ah Po also liked someone before?” Xiao Xiao asked her.
Ah Qiong chuckled. “Naturally. Ah Po was young once too.”
“Was it Ah Mu’s birth father?”
With almost no hesitation, Ah Qiong naturally replied, “En.”
Xie Fuchen had been gone from her life for a very, very long time; even the days of her subsequent house arrest were many years ago. She thought she would hate Xie Fuchen for a lifetime, but unexpectedly, when mentioning him again, she could recall more of the little things from their youth in Runing. What came to mind were all his good qualities, his prime of youth and talent11. She lamented that his peerless talent ultimately did not meet a good end.
Back then, she felt he got what he deserved12. But having seen the turn of the years, spring passing and autumn coming, recalling him now, her heart was much calmer and more composed.
Did she have a choice? Never. Not when the Ruan Clan was exterminated, and even less so when she was schemed against later. Did Xie Fuchen have one? Why was he so loyal to Emperor Ming? Besides gratitude for recognizing his talent, were there other hidden reasons? She had no time to understand back then, and now there was no way to know.
“Ah Po, tell me your story from back then, please,” Xiao Xiao said sweetly. “I’ve already finished approving all the memorials.”
When Ah Qiong smiled, two deep wrinkles appeared on either side of her eyes. The faint lines between her brows, however, had become lighter over the years. “When will the memorials ever be finished? Tomorrow, another large pile will be stacked in front of you.”
“Then let’s talk about it tomorrow,” Xiao Xiao pouted. “It’s a breakup, just let me indulge myself a bit.”
Ah Qiong had told countless stories, but the story of her and Xie Fuchen was told the least.
She hadn’t even told Ah Lai.
But never mind. If she didn’t speak of it, after she departed this world, who would remember this past love? Whether good or bad, whether it made one feel like bathing in a spring breeze13 or like licking blood from a knife’s edge14, it was all part of her real past experiences.
While Ah Qiong and Xiao Xiao were immersed in their grandmother-granddaughter affection, Ah Liao was about to go bald from anxiety.
Twenty days. It had already been twenty days, and the two ancestors still hadn’t come out.
The maidservant who delivered food and wine said that after entering, she heard the Empress’s voice telling her to place the food on the table by the door and not to let her enter. Even if she had the guts of three men15, she wouldn’t dare disobey, so she couldn’t see the situation inside the hall at all. Having gone in so many times, she had also heard Her Majesty’s voice. A few times, Her Majesty instructed her to bring some qi-replenishing16 wine next time.
It was quiet inside the hall, neither cold nor hot, but every time she went in, she could feel a bone-deep, scorching heat, which was exceedingly strange.
“Scorching… scorching heat?” Ah Liao’s little face turned deathly pale. She grabbed the young maidservant and questioned her relentlessly.
“Yes, it’s like…” The maidservant hesitated. Ah Liao pulled her to a secluded spot, calling her “good sister, dear sister” repeatedly, before finally prying her mouth open.
“It’s like there’s a demon hidden inside.”
Ah Liao was scared to death.
Could the Yulu Wan have some other unexpected effect, like transforming people into demons?
Ah Liao, along with Ah Qin and Ah Zheng, went to the temple overnight and donated tens of thousands of taels in incense money17, praying to the Bodhisattvas18 to bless Tingxu, to ensure she could turn ill luck into good fortune, and at the very least, not actually turn into a snake demon. Otherwise… what kind of mess would this be? Even if written into unofficial histories, no one would believe it.
The Bodhisattvas indeed seemed to answer prayers very quickly.
Ah Liao had just returned when she heard that Her Majesty had come out.
Ah Liao scrambled and ran to find Wei Tingxu. She found the two ancestors in the Imperial Garden. With one glance, she saw Wei Tingxu standing on her own among the flowers, not needing anyone to hold or support her. A huge sigh of relief finally escaped her—ancestors be praised, ancestors be praised!
“Tingxu!” Ah Liao called out cheerfully, about to fly over and throw a playful tantrum, hoping Tingxu would be lenient when punishing her. A woeful expression was already plastered on her face, and she was about to prostrate herself in a kowtow, but Wei Tingxu caught her midway.
“What are you kneeling for? Aren’t you afraid of hurting your knees?” Not only did Wei Tingxu help her up, but she also personally patted the dust off her long robe, tilted her head slightly, and gave her a radiant and charming smile.
Ah Liao quickly retreated two steps, nearly scared out of her wits. The last time she saw that expression on Wei Tingxu, it was followed by the extermination of the other party’s entire clan.
“Your Majesty…” Tears streamed down Ah Liao’s face. “Even if Ah Liao is a thousand times wrong, ten thousand times wrong, please, for the sake of the Zhangsun family’s many years of assisting Your Majesty, spare them! This matter truly has nothing to do with the Zhangsun family; it’s all my fault. And, and the Qingyuan ladies, they are even more innocent, they know nothing! How can you bear to kill so many peerless beauties… forget it, you’ve always had the heart to. If I die, they probably won’t live either. I only have one small wish, that is to let me and the ladies willing to die with me be buried together in a place with beautiful mountains and clear waters…”
Wei Tingxu really couldn’t stand her rambling any longer and once again lifted her up. “Had enough of your acting?”
Ah Liao hunched her shoulders, feeling that Wei Tingxu’s strength seemed to have increased; she could actually lift her. She nodded dazedly.
“Then Zhen19 will tell you something.” Wei Tingxu whispered something in Ah Liao’s ear. Ah Liao’s expression changed from terror to delight, then to ecstasy, her eyes practically exploding with joy.
“Re-really? Is this true?!” Ah Liao gripped Wei Tingxu’s hand tightly, completely unable to believe it.
“The Imperial Physician just diagnosed it. How would he dare to deceive Zhen?”
So this time, Wei Tingxu was smiling from the heart, not thinking of killing anyone. Quite the opposite!
Ah Liao wished she could immediately set off ten thousand fireworks into the sky to tell the whole world she had succeeded!
She was exceptionally excited and wanted to know all the details. The two close friends, who shared everything, walked deeper into the Imperial Garden.
Zhen Wenjun, limping with a hand on her waist, stared blankly. Who could imagine how she had spent these past twenty days… Zizhuo, on the other hand, was full of vigor after enjoying herself and emerging from seclusion, and now she had just walked off with her best friend!
Hearing bursts of exclamations coming from the depths of the garden, Zhen Wenjun’s face burned—No, some things even Ah Liao cannot know! No one can know, otherwise, where would her lifelong reputation be!
She had to stop Wei Tingxu immediately!
LP: Tingxu was a demon within those days
Footnotes
- 如鲠在喉 | rúgěngzàihóu | Lit. “like a fishbone stuck in the throat”; an idiom describing a feeling of unease, something one wishes to say but cannot, or a persistent annoyance.
- 棉襖 | mián’ǎo | A traditional Chinese cotton-padded jacket, worn for warmth.
- 椒酒 | jiāojiǔ | Lit. “pepper wine.” A type of spiced wine, often infused with Sichuan peppercorns or other spices, known for its strong and unique flavor.
- 東宮 | Dōnggōng | Lit. “Eastern Palace.” The traditional residence of the Crown Prince in imperial China; by extension, refers to the Crown Prince himself or his household.
- 如膠似漆 | rújiāosìqī | Lit. “like glue and lacquer”; an idiom describing people who are deeply attached to each other, inseparable.
- 朝思暮想 | zhāosīmùxiǎng | Lit. “think in the morning, long for in the evening”; an idiom meaning to yearn for someone or something day and night.
- 兒臣 | érchén | Lit. “child-subject/minister.” A self-referential pronoun used by a son or daughter of the emperor, or by a high minister, when addressing the emperor/empress, signifying their role as both kin and subject.
- 五體伏地 | wǔtǐ fúdì | Lit. “five limbs prostrate on the ground.” A full prostration where the forehead, both hands, and both knees touch the ground, signifying deep respect or submission.
- 聿愍帝 | Yùmǐn Dì | Emperor Yumin. Yumin is a posthumous title or name, Di (帝) means Emperor.
- 畏首畏尾 | wèishǒuwèiwěi | Lit. “fearing the head and fearing the tail”; an idiom describing someone who is overly cautious, timid, and indecisive.
- 風華正茂 | fēnghuá zhèngmào | Lit. “elegance and talent at their peak”; an idiom describing someone in their prime, full of youthful vigor and talent.
- 罪有應得 | zuìyǒuyīngdé | Lit. “crime has its deserved (punishment)”; to get what one deserves, to reap what one sows (for a crime).
- 如沐春風 | rúmùchūnfēng | Lit. “like bathing in a spring breeze”; an idiom describing a feeling of pleasure, comfort, and refreshment, often from kind words or a good teacher.
- 刀尖舔血 | dāojiān tiǎnxuè | Lit. “licking blood from the tip of a knife”; an idiom describing a life of extreme danger and risk.
- Original: 她有仨膽子 (tā yǒu sā dǎnzi) | Lit. “she has three gallbladders.” Gallbladders were associated with courage, so having three implies being extremely bold.
- 補氣 | bǔqì | To replenish/tonify Qi (vital energy in Traditional Chinese Medicine).
- 香火錢 | xiānghuǒqián | Lit. “incense and fire money.” Donations made to temples, ostensibly for incense and offerings, but generally for temple upkeep and prayers.
- 菩薩 | Púsà | Bodhisattva; an enlightened being in Buddhism who delays their own nirvana to help others achieve enlightenment. Often prayed to for blessings and protection.
- 朕 | zhèn | The royal “I,” used exclusively by the Emperor. Its use immediately establishes supreme authority.
0 Comments