Fish Meat – Chapter 259

The Fifth Year of Guangxing

Unofficial Histories (2)

“Wenjun-meimei, where is she? Quickly have her show herself and try it!”

            

“Oh, her.” Wei Tingxu opened the bottle cap and peered inside. “These past two days at Shu Yuan, she’s been so bored she’s practically crawling out of her skin. Knowing I had morning court today, she went up the mountain to exercise first thing in the morning, and even said she wanted to hunt some game.”

“She hasn’t come back yet?”

“Since you’re here, go and find her.”

            

“Up the mountain?”

Wei Tingxu shook her head. “She definitely went to Baiwan Qiao​¹ again.”

Baiwan Qiao was a wooden bridge in the city, built in the second year of Guangxing, and named for its many twists and turns. With four entrances and four exits, it effectively alleviated the traffic pressure between the East and West markets, allowing trade caravans and postal relays​² to pass through with ease. Countless shops and taverns lined both banks, alongside street stalls selling curious wares; this place was the liveliest spot in Boling City.

            

“Huh?” Ah Liao didn’t understand. “The dignified monarch of Changge Kingdom—what would she be doing at Baiwan Qiao? Could it be that Wenjun-meimei has businesses over there?”

“Well, yes, she does. Her business acumen is very sharp; wherever there’s money to be made, you’ll find her, especially in Zhen’s capital city. But it’s not just the piles of silver that attract her to Baiwan Qiao.”

“Oh? What else is there?”

            

“You’ll know when you find her.” Wei Tingxu gave her directions. “She’s surely lingering there, completely captivated. Go find her, and if she still hasn’t had her fill, tell her the roast lamb leg is ready. If she comes back late, she’ll only get bones to gnaw on.”

The ladies of Qingyuan were very fond of Haishu Yuan​³; on hot summer days, soaking in pools covered with ‘lingering flower’ petals was both fragrant and refreshing, and they were all reluctant to get out. So, Ah Liao and Ah Zheng set off together for Baiwan Qiao.

Ah Liao hadn’t spent much time in Boling and had only heard of Baiwan Qiao’s prosperity. Witnessing firsthand the place’s bustling traffic, like a ceaseless stream of horses and carriages, and crowds so dense their sleeves brushed like curtains, she was greatly amazed.

            

Ah Zheng asked for directions along the way, and they went around in circles twice before finally finding the tavern Wei Tingxu had mentioned. While still outside, they could hear bursts of cheers erupting from within from time to time.

Curious, the two lifted the curtain and entered. They saw that the three-story gallery was packed with people; from the walkways to the private rooms, it was a sea of bobbing heads, with not an empty seat to be found. Everyone was staring intently at the main hall. In the center of the hall, a white-bearded old man took a sip of tea, cleared his throat, and continued speaking with great animation, spittle flying:

“Now, how General Zhen and Zhu Maosan came to be connected—it was all because of the Da Yu famine back then! Corpses of the starved littered the roads, and people exchanged children to eat​⁴. Within Yu’s borders, no grain could be procured, no matter what. So, what was to be done? But this couldn’t stump General Zhen! If she couldn’t get it from the Central Plains, she’d go to the resource-rich Sudu to procure it… Seeing that young lady was merely thirteen or fourteen, they thought she was an easily bullied yellow-mouthed brat​⁵. Zhu Maosan’s veteran scoundrels didn’t take her seriously at all; forget announcing her, they wouldn’t even give her a proper look… General Zhen, though young, was as cunning as a little devil​⁶ and had long made up her mind: these one hundred fifty thousand cartloads of moldy grain, she absolutely had to deliver them personally into Zhu Maosan’s hands!”

            

Someone asked curiously, “That pig butcher is so ferocious, wasn’t General Zhen afraid he’d discover the grain was moldy?”

The old storyteller chuckled. “Don’t you be impatient now, just listen as I tell it in detail!”

Ah Liao and Ah Zheng squeezed through the crowd and headed towards the central private room upstairs. Four men with unfriendly expressions stood at the entrance to the room. Dressed like ordinary men from Da Cang, each stood eight chi​⁷ tall, solemn and imposing. Seeing the two approach, they immediately became alert.

            

Ah Liao presented the token Wei Tingxu had given her. After examining it, one of the men went inside to ask, then returned and opened the door to let them in.

Zhen Wenjun was indeed inside.

“Wenjun-meimei! What kind of hobby is this!” Ah Liao exclaimed, pointing at her with her fan the moment she entered the private room. “Running here on such a hot day to listen to a storyteller praise you to the skies with all sorts of fancy talk​⁸, and for the whole day at that!”

            

The low table in front of Zhen Wenjun was fully stocked with drinks and refreshments. When Ah Liao and Ah Zheng entered, she was still holding a fruit platter, more than half of which she had already polished off. A smile she couldn’t suppress played on her lips as she beckoned for the two of them to sit beside her:

“We haven’t seen each other for so long, and you come in all loud and boisterous, making my ears hurt.”

Ah Liao was about to say more, but Zhen Wenjun stuffed a banana into her mouth, effectively gagging her. “Take a break, will you. I’ll head back after I finish listening to this part.”

            

“You stuffed me,” Ah Liao mumbled, banana in hand, and then actually started eating it with gusto.

“Shh, be quiet. He’s getting to the most exciting part.”

There were storytellers in Changge Kingdom too, but no one dared to wildly fabricate tales about their own monarch’s past to earn silver. The folks in Da Cang, however, had no such fears. They exaggerated as much as they could, praising Zhen Wenjun to the heavens, practically wishing they could bestow upon her the title of Jiang Ziya​⁹ reincarnated. Zhen Wenjun had loved listening to her mother tell stories since she was a child, and she still loved listening to stories now, hearing others recount her past. Most of the time, the storytellers were just making things up, but occasionally they’d get a few details right—things Zhen Wenjun herself barely remembered. Hearing them mentioned like this brought a unique kind of feeling.

            

The storyteller at this tavern was particularly articulate and eloquent, and knew the most gossip and unofficial histories. Whenever Zhen Wenjun came to Da Cang, she would invariably book a room here to listen to her heart’s content. This was already her third time listening to this cycle of stories, and she still found it amusing.

“Looks like you don’t want that roast lamb leg after all,” Ah Liao remarked, tossing out the sentence while eating her banana.

Sure enough, Zhen Wenjun paused and quickly looked over. “Roast lamb leg? What roast lamb leg?”

            

“The roast lamb leg Her Majesty prepared. She sent me to find you and tell you that if you’re late going back, you’ll only have bones to gnaw on.”

Zhen Wenjun immediately stood up. “You should have said so earlier!”

“Well, it’s not me who’ll be gnawing on bones.”

            

Zhen Wenjun wiped her mouth, ready to leave. Just then, the old storyteller reached the part where Zhu Maosan discovered all the grain was moldy and, wailing and howling, relentlessly pursued her carriage. Zhen Wenjun anxiously stayed rooted to the spot until that segment was finished, only then hurriedly returning to Shu Yuan.

Ah Liao just didn’t get it. Is your Changge Kingdom lacking food and drink or something? A single roast lamb leg can make you go home so obediently—and you call yourself a monarch!

In the carriage back to Shu Yuan, Zhen Wenjun shook her head vigorously at Ah Liao. “You don’t understand. This roast lamb leg might look simple, but from marinating to controlling the heat, it’s all incredibly difficult. A bit too much, and it’s too salty, too charred, too dry; a bit too little, and it’s too bland and tough to chew. Our Changge Kingdom is in the south, its territory encompassing the vast southern commanderies and counties of the former Da Yu. Almost everyone in the country is a southerner, even the imperial chefs. The south is humid and hot year-round, so they simply don’t have a passion for food like roast lamb leg, and naturally, they can’t achieve that superb texture and taste. This roast lamb leg—it absolutely has to be made by a northern chef to have that truly authentic flavor.”

            

Ah Liao giggled. “It seems Tingxu saw right through you long ago. A single roast lamb leg is enough to ensnare you.”

In front of her old friend, Zhen Wenjun wasn’t embarrassed. “When did I ever need her to ensnare me? Even without roast lamb leg, I’m very well-behaved.”

Seeing her so elated​¹⁰ and without any calculating shrewdness, Ah Liao understood that the lingering resentments from the many years of complex history with Wei Tingxu, accumulated in her heart, had dissipated along with her title as monarch. With the Da Cang imperial lodge in her past and the Changge palace now her domain, she could advance or retreat with ease, handling everything skillfully. She could now be purely excited about a roast lamb leg and obediently go home.

            

“Tingxu has always had a picky palate. That imperial chef also trained hard for many years, all to imitate Xiaohua’s technique.” Zhen Wenjun leaned back on the soft couch in the carriage. Remembering something, her brow twitched slightly as she said, “What a pity, though. No one in this world can match Xiaohua’s skill. The roast lamb leg I ate with Lingbi back then at that small courtyard at Nanya… that was probably the most exquisite taste on earth​¹¹.”

Seeing her a bit melancholic, Ah Liao knew that people tend to reminisce as they get older. Moreover, this general had campaigned far and wide​¹² for years, accumulating cartloads of past experiences. It was easy to inadvertently touch one of her ‘old lady’ nerves, sending her into deep contemplation of ages past​¹³.

Ah Liao was least accustomed to somber atmospheres, and besides, she had come to find Zhen Wenjun for another matter this time.

            

“Wenjun-meimei, I brought a fine treasure for you.” Saying this, Ah Liao took out a small porcelain bottle and smiled mysteriously. “Guess what this is.”

Zhen Wenjun’s arm shot out, and with a swoosh, the small porcelain bottle was in her grasp, her movement so fast Ah Liao didn’t even have time to react.

“Smiling so slyly, what on earth is this thing?” Zhen Wenjun said, about to open the bottle’s wooden stopper. Ah Liao yelped, “Don’t move!” startling Zhen Wenjun into a shiver.

            

“Weren’t you going to show it to me? What are you yelling about, scaring me like that.”

Ah Liao immediately snatched the small porcelain bottle back. “Don’t mess around recklessly just because you have some martial arts skills, okay? If it falls and breaks, you two will have to wait another three years! After three years, how old will you and Tingxu be? Neither of you will be able to conceive then!”

“Conceive?” Zhen Wenjun was puzzled. “Conceive what?”

            

“Babies, of course! You pig-donkey brain!”

Zhen Wenjun leaned her forearms on her knees, her mouth twisting. “Babies? Is it… the meaning I’m thinking of?”

“Yes, it’s exactly the meaning you’re thinking of!”

            

Zhen Wenjun let out a soft “Yi?” and subconsciously glanced at Ah Zheng. Ah Zheng was in the corner of the carriage, brewing tea, as if she hadn’t heard a word they were saying.

“Could it be… that there really is a secret art in this world for women to have children with other women?”

Ah Liao said, “Originally, there wasn’t. But with me around, now there is.”

            

What an extraordinary person Ah Liao was; one couldn’t equate her with her usual profligate​¹⁴ demeanor. She could create new types of ingenious devices that would leave one dumbfounded—both the Bat Wing Outfit and the Xiangyue Sheng were exceedingly brilliant. Now that this ‘old dear’ had switched her focus to this secret method for women to have children together, perhaps she really could whip up some unexpected contraptions.

Zhen Wenjun grew even more curious and asked Ah Liao to take it out for a look. With utmost care, Ah Liao rolled a pill as transparent as a dewdrop into her palm and said, in a tone fit for a dark and stormy night of murder and plunder​¹⁵:

“Any woman who takes this Yulu Wan​¹⁶, if she engages in intimacy with someone within twenty-four shichen​¹⁷, she will definitely conceive that person’s child. Regardless of whether that person is male or female.”

            

“Hold on.” Zhen Wenjun had studied some medical principles, so she harbored doubts about Ah Liao’s claims. Seeing that Ah Zheng wasn’t looking their way, she pulled Ah Liao down with her, raised two fingers between them, twirled them, and said in a voice as low as it could possibly be, “How is that possible?”

Ah Liao tutte disdainfully twice, pried Zhen Wenjun’s fingers apart into a ‘V’ shape, then made the same gesture with her own hand, gave a slight twist, and inserted her fingers into the V, so their knuckles touched between Zhen Wenjun’s fingers.

“Understand now?”

            

It dawned on Zhen Wenjun. She simultaneously snatched her hand back and vigorously wiped it with a handkerchief.

Ah Liao: “…”

By the time the carriage reached the entrance of Shu Yuan, two cups of tea had been consumed. Ah Zheng went to present their token, and Zhen Wenjun curiously asked Ah Liao, “If this Yulu Wan is so magical, why don’t you and the Qingyuan ladies take it first and have a whole brood yourselves before anything else?”

            

Ah Liao shook her head. “There are thirty-two people in Qingyuan now. Who would it be appropriate for me to give it to first? It took a lot of effort for Qingyuan to regain its balance, and I don’t want to easily disrupt it again. If we’re going to have children, we’ll all have them together.”

“So, you’re using me and Zizhuo as guinea pigs​¹⁸?”

“Even if you gave this humble one ten thousand guts, this humble one wouldn’t dare do such a thing! Rest assured, it’s non-toxic and harmless. It’s just that…”

            

“Just what?”

Ah Liao whispered something in Zhen Wenjun’s ear. Zhen Wenjun looked at her sideways. “Are you sure you didn’t do it on purpose?”

Ah Liao shook her head vehemently, even proactively confessing that Wei Tingxu had come up with the terrible idea of “presenting flowers” to maintain stability; she wouldn’t dare do something like this deliberately.

            

Zhen Wenjun pointed at Ah Liao, nodded a few times, and then burst out laughing. She flipped open the cloth curtain, landed steadily on the ground from the still-moving carriage, and headed towards Wei Tingxu’s bedchambers.

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