Fish Meat – Chapter 183

The Fourth Year of Zhao Wu

Secrets in the Sleeve (3)

After finally combing out her tangled hair, Ah Wen was in such pain that tears streamed down her face.

            

The black mud and grime had seeped into her nails and skin, impossible to clean with ordinary soapwort. She noticed a row of wooden boxes by the pool, elegant containers holding sachets of different bath powders and medicinal herbs, each with its own fragrance. Ah Wen smelled them one by one – the scents were subtle and refined, seemingly carefully selected to match Ah Xin’s temperament. Next to the boxes were three short and two long pumice stones for scrubbing, along with various bathing implements arranged neatly by the poolside.

Though Ah Wen grew up in the North and hadn’t seen many luxury items from wealthy households, she wasn’t blind. She could tell these items were exquisite and expensive, barely used – likely gifts that someone had arranged here, but Ah Xin had never touched them.

Certainly, Ah Xin disliked these things.

            

Ah Wen gave a cold laugh.

Although Ah Xin grew up in Runing, this place didn’t feel like her homeland at all.

She was like a stone – one that had been hardened by the cold winds of the Northern Frontier, completely unsoftened. After all these years, if she could truly be with that “remarkable person” she loved, why would she stay alone in the North?

            

It must have been an unrequited love.

Just like her own feelings for Ah Xin.

Ah Wen poured all the fragrant medicinal herbs into the steaming pool, grabbed a large handful of bath powder and scrubbed herself vigorously. She scraped herself again and again with the pumice stone, trimmed her nails, until she finally looked like a proper person.

            

Her swollen ankle felt less painful after soaking in the hot water. She stepped out of the pool and walked to the large bronze mirror.

In the mirror was a young woman coming of age, with a slim waist and long legs, her wet hair still dripping with water. The droplets gathered on her body, forming small streams flowing downward.

Despite having participated in great battles and living in a cold region, Ah Wen was very young. Both her skin and her gaze were full of youthful vitality, an alluring life force.

            

She studied herself in the mirror for a moment, glanced at the clothes discarded by the pool, and walked out wearing nothing.

Ah Xin sat in the room still continuing to account for the whereabouts of missing soldiers when she heard the sound of bare feet on the wooden floor. In her peripheral vision, she saw a naked figure slowly approaching.

Ah Xin’s chest rose and fell slightly as she averted her eyes.

            

Ah Wen sat down in front of her and embraced her.

“Forget about that person,” Ah Wen rested her head on Ah Xin’s shoulder. “I’ve waited for you for so long.”

With her left hand at her side and her right hand gripping her sword hilt, Ah Xin’s martial skill meant that with just a turn of her wrist, Ah Wen’s life would be forfeit.

            

“Take your things and leave before I kill you,” Ah Xin said expressionlessly, staring at the charmingly pruned begonia pot in the corner.

“You and she are impossible,” Ah Wen embraced her tighter.

Ah Xin drew her sword from its scabbard, and at that moment came the sound of the courtyard gate being pushed open.

            

Ah Wen startled, lifting her head.

“Qingqing!” It was Li Yanyi’s voice.

Ah Wen looked at Ah Xin in astonishment.

            

Ah Xin said: “She is the current Emperor.”

Ah Wen, panicked, mouthed the word “What!” and immediately stood up, frantically searching for clothes.

Ah Xin helplessly took off her outer garment and threw it to her, standing up to say: “Go through that back window, climb over the wall and you can get out.”

            

Ah Wen hastily wrapped herself in the garment and, enduring her foot pain, climbed out of the courtyard.

Li Yanyi looked around the courtyard but didn’t see Ah Xin, assuming she must be inside. Her male attire allowed her to move extremely freely, and in a few quick steps she reached the inner courtyard. Just as she was about to knock, Ah Xin opened the door herself.

Not having seen Ah Xin for several days, when their eyes met, Li Yanyi couldn’t help but smile. If not for the two Zhuiyue Army soldiers following behind her, she would have immediately embraced her Ah Xin.

            

“Wait for Your Sovereign here,” Li Yanyi said, turning back.

“Yes!” The two soldiers responded in unison.

As Li Yanyi entered the room with Ah Xin, the moment the door closed, her smile rapidly disappeared. She scanned every corner of the room before turning to Ah Xin: “Who was here?”

            

Ah Xin truthfully told her about Ah Wen’s visit.

Ah Wen, that person again. When Ah Xin was still at the Northern Frontier, Li Yanyi knew this person followed Ah Xin everywhere. Now that Ah Xin had returned to Runing, she actually dared to follow her back?

“Your expression is terrifying,” Ah Xin picked up the bamboo scroll.

            

“It will be even more terrifying when I have her executed by slow slicing. Fortunate that she fled quickly.”

Ah Xin smiled slightly, paying no more attention to the matter. She held up the bamboo scroll and began explaining to Li Yanyi about Wei Lun’s secret appropriation of central military forces. Li Yanyi listened intently, her gaze falling on the mat below, imagining how the unclothed Ah Wen had embraced Ah Xin earlier, the thought making her stomach churn with disgust.

“Your Majesty?” Ah Xin noticed her blank stare and couldn’t help but prompt her.

            

“Wei Lun and Wei Zizhuo, this father-daughter pair truly work in perfect harmony,” Li Yanyi said. “Initially, Wei Zizhuo operated in the shadows while Wei Lun provided cover. Now that Wei Zizhuo has stepped into the spotlight, Wei Lun has retreated backstage, quietly amassing military power in unknown places. The traceable military force has decreased by 60,000 – the untraceable numbers must be even more substantial.”

Ah Xin said: “Conservatively speaking, at least 80,000 or more.”

“But 80,000 troops is no small number. Where could Wei Lun be hiding them? It’s impossible to conceal them in Runing – perhaps in his hometown of Pingcang?” Li Yanyi puzzled. “No matter where they’re hidden, it would be obvious. Once discovered, it’s unmistakably treason – a crime punishable by death for the entire clan. How could Wei Lun be so bold?”

            

“Your Majesty, if I were Wei Lun, never mind 80,000 – even with 800,000 troops under my command, I could conceal them without leaving a trace. Your Majesty wouldn’t be able to find them even if you tried.”

“Oh?”

“Having control of a large army doesn’t mean keeping them all in one place. The Wei clan is the largest aristocratic family in Pingcang – their traceable direct lineage alone owns over ten thousand qing of land, not to mention their numerous branch families. They could scatter the soldiers among different households as servants, or even give them land to become ordinary farmers. This way, they can cultivate their own provisions while effectively avoiding central government investigation.”

            

Ah Xin’s reasoning made sense. Li Yanyi became lost in heavy thoughts, instantly losing the lighthearted pleasure of her private visit.

“However, Your Majesty need not worry,” Ah Xin reassured her. “Currently, there are over 20,000 Zhuiyue soldiers in the imperial palace, and I will continue to expand this force. Within two years, I can present Your Majesty with an elite army capable of defeating ten times their number. Combined with other forces available to the central government, there are over 300,000 troops. It won’t be easy for the Wei and Zhangsun clans to rebel.”

Li Yanyi showed no joy after hearing Ah Xin’s words.

            

“Is the Zhuiyue Army your final gift to me before you leave?” Li Yanyi pushed open the door to the garden and walked out, hands behind her back.

Ah Xin followed, arriving at the pond’s edge.

“I don’t like you calling me ‘Your Majesty.’ Even when you used to grit your teeth and call my name directly, it was better – at least it let me know you still cared, that there was still a path forward for us to discuss. Now with every utterance of ‘Your Majesty,’ are you mocking me or hating me? The execution of the Xie family was indeed my doing, but it was the result of political struggle – it was either their death or mine. I thought you had understood this long ago. I wonder, if your father had won back then, how would you remember me now? Whenever I think of this, I somehow feel…”

            

Ah Xin interrupted: “With wolves and jackals before us, this is not the time to discuss such matters. What’s done cannot be undone – there are no ‘what ifs’ or ‘if onlys.’ I have long accepted everything. It’s Your Majesty who hasn’t accepted it.”

Li Yanyi suddenly turned around. Ah Xin wanted to say more, but seeing Li Yanyi’s reddened eyes, the thousands of words stuck in her throat, and she said nothing more.

Li Yanyi knew that no matter how strained their relationship became, whenever she shed tears, Ah Xin had no choice but to surrender.

            

Without another word, Li Yanyi wrapped her arms around Ah Xin’s waist and kissed her.

“Only you can be my Empress, the Empress of Da Yu. It’s about to become reality. Only when you ascend to this position can we join hands to grasp the empire. So many happy days await us, Ah Xin, please don’t be stubborn anymore.”

Ah Xin just closed her eyes, immersing herself in the sweetness of her soft lips.

            

What should have been a joyful private meeting began in a strange way and ended in an even stranger atmosphere. Li Yanyi knew she hadn’t even managed to bring Ah Xin to the height of pleasure.

When they finished, both were exhausted and covered in sweat.

Ah Xin buried her face in Li Yanyi’s embrace, her arms holding her very tightly.

            

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When Li Yanyi left Ji Xue Mansion, Ah Xin bent low at the entrance, performing the imperial ceremonial bow.

After Li Yanyi left, still feeling unsatisfied, she sat in her carriage thinking that something felt wrong. Runing city was so large – how could Ah Wen, unfamiliar with the place, find Ah Xin’s residence so precisely just by asking around?

Could someone have deliberately guided her?

            

Ah Lie, who had been secretly protecting Ah Xin, was now in Li Yanyi’s carriage, reporting to her about what had happened earlier. Indeed, it matched exactly what Ah Xin had told her.

Besides feeling relieved about Ah Xin’s honesty, Ah Lie’s report brought a cold glint to Li Yanyi’s eyes and a slight upturn to her lips:

“She cares about this Ah Wen.”

            

Although Li Yanyi was quite certain that this Ah Wen wouldn’t become a threat to her, she knew Ah Xin too well. Others might think her heart was made of iron and stone, but she was actually the most soft-hearted. It was this Ah Wen who fought alongside Ah Xin at Mengliang, and it was she who accompanied her in the Northern Frontier afterward. When the Wei family would be completely uprooted, Ah Xin might very well leave her. At that time, this Ah Wen could remain by her side constantly, in whatever capacity – something that Li Yanyi, as Emperor, could never have.

Li Yanyi’s hand gripping the bamboo scroll showed bulging veins as she stared at Ah Lie for a long time. The word “kill” turned over in her mouth countless times, finally dissolving into a sigh.

“That Ah Wen has nowhere else to go, she will certainly return to Ji Xue Mansion. You continue to stay at the residence and watch Ah Wen for me. Don’t let her harm Ah Xin, and also keep track of her movements and whom she contacts.”

            

“Yes!”

“Also, tear up and replace all the mats in Ah Xin’s room. Burn all the clothes she wore today.”

“Yes…”

            

Ah Lie descended from the carriage, vanishing into the night with a single roll.

Sure enough, Ah Wen returned, shamelessly begging for a place to sleep. Ah Xin gave up her bedroom, sleeping in the study herself.

For several days, Ah Wen hadn’t noticed Ah Lie’s presence. Worried that Ah Lie might be lonely staying in the tree alone for so many days, Ah Xin chatted with her.

            

“Did the Emperor send you to kill Ah Wen?”

Ah Lie didn’t answer. With a flutter of movement, the tree where she had been hiding swayed gently, and she disappeared.

Ah Wen limped out of the house and asked, “Who were you talking to?”

            

“Leave Runing now,” Ah Xin said, “if you don’t want to die.”

“The Empress wants to kill me?”

Ah Xin ignored her.

            

“If she wants to kill me, would you save me, Sister?”

Ah Xin drew her sword and carefully wiped it.

“So you really don’t care whether I live or die. Sister, you’re so cruel.”

            

“I already warned you, but you refused to leave.”

“Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be. You don’t like Runing, you’re bound to leave eventually. You don’t belong in the Imperial Palace either – you belong to somewhere broader, more free. Your identity destines you to never enter the Palace, never be accepted by those currently in court. More importantly, you can’t get past this barrier in your own heart. You’re certain to leave, and Li Yanyi won’t go with you. In the end, I’m the only one who can accompany you.”

Ah Xin sighed, turning back to look at the tear-streaked face of Ah Wen and said:

            

“I want to forget her but I can’t. So many times I’ve wanted to leave but couldn’t. Even if I really did leave, I could never forget her in this lifetime.”

“How is that not possible! The human heart is best at forgetting! Five years! Ten years! You will eventually forget her!”

“I won’t,” Ah Xin said. “She is my heart.”

            

After brooding for three days, Ah Wen came to Ah Xin with a cloth bundle: “I’m leaving.”

Ah Xin was writing something and merely responded with a “hmm,” without looking up.

Ah Wen kept crying: “If I really die at the Empress’s hands, will you feel even a trace of resentment towards her?”

            

Ah Xin sighed: “My entire Xie clan died by her hands. I urge you to leave only because I feel life is precious and hope you can cherish it. I’ve already prepared a carriage for you and asked Uncle Chen to take you home.”

“I haven’t had a home for a long time.”

Ah Xin’s writing hand paused as she said: “There’s enough silver in the carriage for you to go anywhere you want.”

            

Ah Wen left. Ah Xin finally breathed a sigh of relief – her life would be spared.

Ah Xin rolled up the newly written Zhuiyue Army recruitment document. Everything around was deathly silent.

She knelt in place for a moment, then walked out to the courtyard.

            

The courtyard remained quiet, without any wind or human sounds. There was no one in the tree either.

Ah Lie, who had always been following her in secret, was gone.

Under the scorching sun, Ah Xin broke into a cold sweat. She immediately pulled her horse from the stable and galloped towards the city gates.

            

Outside the city, the official road was covered in numerous wheel tracks, confusing her judgment.

She followed the official road forward and discovered a patch of trampled grass in disarray. Following the grass deeper, a sudden cliff made her heart thunder, and she quickly pulled back on the reins.

At the bottom of the cliff was Ah Wen’s carriage.

            

When Ah Xin, covered in injuries, took the long route to reach the bottom of the cliff, the sky had completely darkened. She found the bodies of Ah Wen and the coachman.

Ah Wen’s distorted face still showed traces of terror. Ah Xin closed her eyes and quietly kept her company for a while.

Dust returns to dust, earth returns to earth, wandering souls must return to their native soil.

            

Ah Xin took Ah Wen’s body back to her hometown in Mengliang, and was gone for three months.

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