Fish Meat – Chapter 154
by Little PandaThe Second Year of Zhao Wu
The Lamp Behind the Curtain, the Sword in its Case (13)
Xiao Xiao bit down with fierce force. Though it didn’t draw blood, the ring of teeth marks around Wei Tingxu’s palm near the little finger had turned purple and was unmistakable, looking quite frightening.
Zhen Wenjun carefully sprinkled medicine powder on her wound and bandaged it.
“It might still hurt a bit tomorrow, but after another day it will be fine.”
Wei Tingxu didn’t speak, lying on the bed.
Zhen Wenjun followed and found the bed was somewhat cold.
The weather was getting colder, and they should have already replaced the summer bedding with warm wool blankets. Wei Tingxu had always been sensitive to cold, which Zhen Wenjun knew well. Most people could endure the winter with little discomfort, and Zhen Wenjun herself didn’t need to change to wool blankets. But Wei Tingxu was different – even weather changes in summer could make her ill, let alone now in late autumn. Without proper warmth, she might become seriously ill.
Previously, Xiaohua had handled all these things, never letting Wei Tingxu worry about what to eat or use in different seasons. Unexpectedly, these things were often forgotten under her care.
After laying out the warm blanket and lighting a fire, Zhen Wenjun turned with a smile: “Come rest, Zizhuo.”
Wei Tingxu stood waiting nearby expressionlessly, head slightly lowered, seeming tired.
Sitting on the bed, Zhen Wenjun crouched down to help remove her shoes and socks.
“Are your back and legs still sore these days?”
Wei Tingxu nodded.
“The cold compress is used up. Tomorrow I’ll go to the Wei Mansion to get more from Zhong Ji to continue massaging you. How could I be so careless to forget such important things? You should have reminded me. And these blankets shouldn’t be stored so high where they’re hard to reach. Tomorrow I’ll reorganize everything in the residence.”
“Wenjun’s mind is elsewhere, so reminders from others would be futile. What’s remembered is only what one wishes to remember,” Wei Tingxu said in a very soft, fine voice. If one didn’t listen carefully to the content, it might have been mistaken for gentle words of affection.
Zhen Wenjun put away the shoes and sat beside Wei Tingxu.
Wei Tingxu had already laid down wrapped tightly in the blanket, and only after feeling the comforting warmth for a moment did she slowly open her eyes to gaze at Zhen Wenjun. Zhen Wenjun looked back at her pupils, which the gauze lamp had cast in amber color, and remembering her earlier words “I can’t live without you,” felt as if someone had forcefully twisted something in her heart.
Zhen Wenjun wanted to say something nice, but strangely, these past few days she had become especially tongue-tied, unable to find a single word of playful banter or comforting sweet talk despite searching her intestines and scraping her belly [wracking her brains]. Wei Tingxu was watching her, waiting for her to speak, yet she didn’t know what to say.
Wei Tingxu suddenly let out a “puchi” laugh [onomatopoeia for soft laughter], raising her hand to tap Zhen Wenjun’s chin: “Why make such an expression? I know you’ve been practicing martial arts and boxing, not neglecting any of the skills Xiaohua taught you. You’ve also read quite a few books from my study, haven’t you? I naturally have no complaints about you focusing on these things. The Emperor wants you to enter official service, wanting to use you to check my power, I understand. Our Wenjun is someone meant to achieve great things, you can’t possibly spend your whole life hiding in a residence growing flowers and trimming grass – that would be wasting your talents.”
Zhen Wenjun had her own thoughts, and since Wei Tingxu spoke frankly about this matter, she wanted to hear Wei Tingxu’s view on it, so she made a questioning “mm?” sound.
“The Emperor is wary of our Wei family, fearing our merits might overshadow the throne, which is understandable. All meritorious officials face suspicion. I blame myself for not realizing sooner – I still thought of her as the Princess, still thought she would treat us differently considering how diligently our Wei family helped establish her empire. As rulers bear heavy responsibilities, every step is crucial, hence their suspicion; though officials may have loyal hearts to assist, they cannot cut open their hearts to show their true loyalty, so they must work hard to reduce the ruler’s suspicions and put them at ease. Now our Wei family hasn’t done enough. The Emperor wants to get close to you and promote you, preferably to use you for her purposes, and our eventual marriage would be one way to keep me in check. If I’m not mistaken, the Emperor will likely give you a position in the Forbidden Garden or even by her side.”
“Use me to check your power?”
“How could such a usually astute Wenjun not have thought of this? This isn’t like you. Keeping you by her side firstly allows for promoting another female official to strengthen the foundation of the Haina reforms, which can only benefit her imperial position. Secondly, the Emperor naturally knows of our deep feelings – with you as a threat, I certainly wouldn’t dare act rashly. If one day our Wei family were to do anything harmful to Da Yu, she could immediately seize you to force my compliance.”
“Truly, the ruler’s heart is hard to fathom. In that case, I should find a good excuse to decline,” said Zhen Wenjun. “Sima Yi feigned illness to avoid Cao Cao’s summons, and I too can make up some illness to avoid entering official service.”
“Foolish child, the Emperor has already told you personally – even without an official imperial edict, it’s still the Emperor’s command. The Emperor’s one word is worth nine tripods’ [absolute], defying it would be a capital offense. No one knows what the Emperor truly thinks of our Wei family now, and it’s possible she might use your defiance as an excuse to move against the Wei family directly. Whatever illness you fake, the imperial physicians will discover the truth with one pulse check.”
“Then…”
“Don’t be afraid, Wenjun. What I spoke of is merely the Emperor’s art of rulership. Our Wei family is wholeheartedly devoted to Da Yu, how could we have thoughts of rebellion? Since the Emperor wants a pill for settling the heart [reassurance], we can only trouble you to help stabilize Da Yu’s seas. As long as our Wei family remains loyal in protecting the sovereign, the Emperor won’t make things difficult for you.” Wei Tingxu stroked Zhen Wenjun’s face and said, “You and I have always been of one mind [hearts linked by supernatural understanding]. Wenjun, you already saw through the Emperor’s intentions and knew what I would do, thinking I would push you away again and put you in danger, so you were angry with me, weren’t you?”
Zhen Wenjun hadn’t expected Wei Tingxu to think this way.
“These past days you’ve been avoiding me. I felt sad watching this but was helpless. The Emperor sees through our thoughts as clearly as watching fire [completely transparent], knowing that you are my greatest weakness. She believes that by controlling you, she can keep the entire Wei family in check, so I…”
“No need to say more, Zizhuo.” Zhen Wenjun interrupted her, “I understand the importance of this matter. Moreover, it’s not that I don’t want to enter official service. Being able to enter the court’s inner circle to display one’s ambitions, to assist in imperial affairs and maintain balance [黼黻皇猷燮理陰陽: formal literary expression for serving in government], is a great opportunity and also a subject’s duty. Currently, there’s still a severe shortage of both central officials and frontier military commanders. Furthermore, being able to assist the Emperor alongside Zizhuo in creating a prosperous age is truly something I couldn’t ask for more.”
At this moment, Zhen Wenjun was willing to believe Wei Tingxu.
On one hand, she definitely needed to uncover all doubts and clear Wei Tingxu’s name; on the other hand, she was also prepared to face the cruelest truth—that Wei Tingxu had indeed schemed against her, indeed used her to take revenge on Xie Fuchen.
Before finding the truth, any worrying would be pointless anxiety [literally: ordinary people troubling themselves needlessly].
She needed evidence, needed clear and explicit evidence that could explain all doubts.
Wei Tingxu’s words made perfect sense, and Zhen Wenjun’s agreement to enter official service was indeed also to stabilize Li Yanyi’s suspicions of the Wei family. Yet in her heart’s depths, there was another worry.
The solid fortress she and Wei Tingxu had once shared suddenly showed a crack, with evil winds rushing in through the fissure. What made Zhen Wenjun uneasy was that this inconspicuous crack was the seed of doubt. Perhaps one day it would suddenly grow uncontrollably larger, and when cracks covered the entire fortress, if she didn’t have the ability to escape in time, she would surely die in the collapsed ruins.
So she needed a life-saving vehicle [an escape plan].
If her life was in danger, at least she could raise a long whip and flee this place, saving her own life.
Li Yanyi was now offering this long whip, and Zhen Wenjun’s current inclination toward the whip was almost instinctual.
Rationally, Zhen Wenjun knew this was absolutely correct, but seeing Wei Tingxu still holding her hand while sleeping peacefully, she felt extremely sad that they would suddenly walk down a path of suspicion.
She had once spent so much effort to finally reach Wei Tingxu’s side and enter her heart. She didn’t want to step out of this happiness; she only wished all this was just her wild imagination, and Wei Tingxu was still that lover who stood united with her against the outside world.
After laying the wool blanket, Zhen Wenjun was too hot to sleep. She lifted a corner of the quilt to breathe, wiped her forehead, and found she was sweating.
Zhen Wenjun was almost twenty, in her prime years, with her vitality at its peak. Being a martial artist who often drank alcohol, she didn’t need Furong Powder and could leap across roofs and walls in thin clothes during the coldest winter without feeling cold. She was robust and couldn’t stand Wei Tingxu’s thick, heavy bedding, so she got off the bed quietly, afraid of waking Wei Tingxu.
To prevent Wei Tingxu from risking catching a cold, all the doors and windows in the room were closed, not letting in even a hint of wind. Zhen Wenjun felt hot and stuffy, so she poured a cup of water and went out. Since she couldn’t sleep anyway, she might as well get some fresh air.
Walking along the corridor, she saw that the light in Xiao Xiao’s room was still on – could she still be awake?
Zhen Wenjun suddenly remembered several days ago when Xiao Xiao told her that Da Yu was scarier than the grasslands. The grasslands were open and unobstructed, where you could see anything at a glance. But Da Yu was different – walk two steps and there were flowers, trees, and artificial mountains; another two steps and there were pillars, screens, and decorative walls. Whenever night fell, Xiao Xiao felt that life-seeking ghosts and spirits from the netherworld hid behind these things, waiting to pounce and bite people when they weren’t paying attention. On the grasslands, she could see them and run away immediately, but in Da Yu she couldn’t – she would be eaten before she even noticed.
“Can you not think so much? Where would you find such things in this world? There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Zhen Wenjun had casually dismissed her after hearing this long speech, and afterward, Xiao Xiao never mentioned it again.
The adult Zhen Wenjun naturally wasn’t afraid, but thinking back, when she was Xiao Xiao’s age, she wouldn’t dare turn off the lights when her mother wasn’t home, and could only fall asleep while touching her mother’s earlobe.
When she was ten years old, she was clingy just like Xiao Xiao.
Taking a blanket and the All-encompassing, she walked to Xiao Xiao’s room and stood at her door, knocking gently.
There was no response.
“Are you asleep?” Zhen Wenjun asked.
Still no one answered.
“Then I’m coming in directly.”
Zhen Wenjun pushed open the door and entered the room, seeing that the oil lamp was almost burnt out, its flame flickering, making it look like a haunted house. Xiao Xiao was facing away from her, tightly hugging her blanket. She sat on the edge of the bed and patted Xiao Xiao’s shoulder, but Xiao Xiao still didn’t move.
Zhen Wenjun leaned forward to see clearly, pursed her lips and said: “Is your neck sore from where I squeezed it? Let me take a look. If it’s serious, I need to get medicine for you.”
Xiao Xiao still remained silent, so Zhen Wenjun had no choice but to pull back her collar to examine it.
“Don’t touch me.” Xiao Xiao pushed her away with her hand, and in the lamplight, one could see her face full of tears and eyes filled with unwilling resentment.
“You’re injured, you need treatment.”
“I’m not in pain.”
“Even if it doesn’t hurt, it still needs treatment, otherwise it won’t heal easily. Come here.”
Xiao Xiao shook her head.
“Won’t you listen to me?” Zhen Wenjun imitated her mother’s manner by putting on a stern face, pretending to be angry.
Xiao Xiao was indeed intimidated. After looking at Zhen Wenjun for a while, she said: “Will you really listen to that bad woman and send me back to the Gulun Grasslands?”
“You cannot speak about Zizhuo like that.” This time Zhen Wenjun was truly angry, “She is my most important person. If you continue like this, I’m afraid I won’t pay attention to you anymore.”
Xiao Xiao didn’t dare speak further, and could only hold back tears while admitting her mistake.
Zhen Wenjun originally had anger in her heart – this unrestrained little child needed to be given the cold shoulder to learn what should and shouldn’t be said.
But seeing how quickly she yielded and admitted her mistake, Zhen Wenjun couldn’t be stern anymore. Putting herself in the child’s shoes [literally: comparing heart to heart], as an orphan she would naturally be a bit mischievous to seek attention. Back then, she herself was only twelve when forced to leave her mother’s side, barely surviving [literally: nine deaths and one life]. With a child who had similar experiences, Zhen Wenjun couldn’t truly be hardhearted.
Having been angry enough, Zhen Wenjun still decided to have a serious talk with her. She didn’t want to treat Xiao Xiao like an ignorant child to either scold or coax; she planned to reason with her.
Zhen Wenjun asked Xiao Xiao why she was so disrespectful to Wei Tingxu, who was not only an elder but also the owner of this residence. If not for Wei Tingxu, the two of them probably wouldn’t even have a place to stay in Runing.
“I don’t like her,” Xiao Xiao said, “She doesn’t like me either.”
“How do you know she doesn’t like you?”
“I can tell.”
Being young doesn’t mean she knows nothing. They might be inexperienced in worldly matters, but their intuition is very sharp.
Zhen Wenjun comforted her: “Your Aunt Zizhuo doesn’t dislike you, she just doesn’t like to smile and appears somewhat stern. Xiao Xiao, you’re an orphan like me with a similar background, I understand your anxiety and fear. Although I’m only ten years older than you, if you want to call me ‘Ah Mu’, that’s fine too. I will raise you as my daughter, take good care of you and guide you. But there’s one thing: you must respect Zizhuo.”
Xiao Xiao hung her head, picking at the gaps in the wooden bed frame.
Zhen Wenjun stroked her head and said: “You are important to me, and the other important person in this world is Zizhuo. Though she’s stern, she wouldn’t dislike you without reason. You’ve wrongly accused and offended her, so you should apologize to her.”
Xiao Xiao felt somewhat uncomfortable, using her hand to rub her swollen eyes, but was stopped by Zhen Wenjun. Zhen Wenjun returned with an oiled paper bag filled with cool well water to help reduce the swelling, and after a while, the redness and swelling subsided a bit.
While Zhen Wenjun was examining the injury on the back of her neck, Xiao Xiao suddenly said: “Ah Mu, tomorrow morning, I’ll apologize.”
Zhen Wenjun’s face lit up with joy: “Good, you’re a kindhearted child. Go to sleep now, I’ll wake you up tomorrow morning. This All-encompassing will stay in your room. It’s very beautiful, and when you’re scared, just open it – no demons or monsters will dare approach you.”
Xiao Xiao nodded.
The next day, before breakfast, Xiao Xiao knelt before Wei Tingxu with a tea cup, apologizing for being rash and impulsive, hoping Wei Tingxu would forgive her this time, and promising never to do it again.
Wei Tingxu was also magnanimous, stepping forward to take the tea cup and helping her up: “Since you call Wenjun mother, you’re also my child. From now on, we three will be a family united in purpose, moving forward and backward together, with no more barriers.”
Zhen Wenjun finally felt relieved. At this moment, Ah Zhu came to find her, saying two potted plants in the courtyard had fallen over, asking how to handle it.
As soon as Zhen Wenjun left with Ah Zhu, Xiao Xiao immediately distanced herself from Wei Tingxu.
Xiao Xiao’s Da Yu language wasn’t particularly good, but her meaning was very clear:
“I did this all for Ah Mu’s sake. Don’t think I don’t know – you’re not sincere towards Ah Mu. I saw everything.”
Wei Tingxu’s smile disappeared at the same moment. She sat back down composedly in the main seat of the hall and continued drinking tea.
“You can think of me however you want. As long as you keep your mother happy and don’t make things difficult for her, I can play along with this act. But if you show ingratitude and make her sad,” Wei Tingxu put down her tea cup, her gaze shifting as clear killing intent surged in the corner of her eye, “I will surely turn you into a patch of flower soil in this courtyard.”
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