Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 146
by Little PandaJust Like the First Meeting (3)
Precious darling in my palm, treasure in my heart
Xu… Jiao?!
When Ye Zhen heard this name, it was like “a thunderbolt splitting the sky” (an expression indicating extreme shock and disbelief).
She hadn’t completely forgotten the child’s name, but firstly, they barely communicated in the past, and secondly, those memories had too many gaps, as if they were fabricated out of thin air. She had come here to investigate her identity and the source of these memories, but now…
Going round and round in circles (describing a situation where things come full circle).
This child was actually named Xu Jiao.
Xu Jiao was so caught up in the joy of reuniting with an old acquaintance that she failed to notice the other’s astonishment. It never occurred to her to question why Ye Zhen, who should have been meeting her for the first time, seemed to instinctively know how to interact with her – speaking softly and maintaining a careful distance despite Xu Jiao’s adorable appearance, as if worried that any sudden movement might startle her.
Recalling Xu Jiao’s textbook-perfect self-introduction, a barely noticeable flash of surprise crossed Ye Zhen’s eyes. She then offered a gentle smile, appearing to want closer contact with Xu Jiao. Yet the words that came to her lips were each dismissed in turn. In the end, she remained at a distance, maintaining her crouched position to stay at eye level with Xu Jiao, smiling at her without moving.
Xu Jiao glanced toward the house behind her, a hint of complexity flickering in her eyes.
In her original timeline—
After what happened with Ye Zhen, when Xu Jiao was nearly grown, she had moved out on her own and made a living as a writer. She had rented this very house where Ye Zhen lived, and the system had simulated the space’s decorations specifically in this house.
Of course, now that Ye Zhen lived there, the furnishings would be different from when Xu Jiao moved in later. As a child, Xu Jiao had been invited countless times to that house, but she had never paid attention to or remembered much about the interior arrangements. After all, back then, she would sit silently in a corner for hours on end, lost in her own world, not even remembering what Ye Zhen had said to her.
This was something Xu Jiao deeply regretted.
Now she had mostly recovered, and although she still disliked crowds and preferred to lock herself away in familiar surroundings, Ye Zhen remained the only exception in her life.
She wanted to get closer to her.
To understand her a little more.
Fill in all those forgotten details, those memories she couldn’t retain, into the blank spaces of her recollections.
Not knowing Xu Jiao’s thoughts, Ye Zhen noticed her gaze toward the house. After a moment’s hesitation, she asked softly, “Would you like to come over to my place?”
Before Xu Jiao could respond—
A “Ding dong” came from the direction of the elevator.
Someone had arrived on their floor.
Xu Jiao recalled the system’s warning about not suddenly breaking character. Considering her surroundings, even without childhood memories of neighbors, she could deduce the current relationships based on these crowded, aging apartment buildings. As a child with autism, her family had tried to minimize taking her out. These “tube-shaped buildings” (traditional Chinese apartment blocks characterized by their narrow, corridor-style layout) were certainly “hotbeds for gossip” (an expression describing places where news travels fast), and even though neighbors rarely saw her, they definitely knew of her existence.
Having forgotten her keys, Xu Jiao hadn’t fully closed her door when she left earlier. With only her and Ye Zhen in the hallway, it would be easy for others to guess her identity.
Xu Jiao pressed her lips together, remaining motionless while watching the person emerging from the elevator from the corner of her eye.
It was a middle-aged woman carrying several colorful plastic bags in her left hand and a red leather handbag on her right wrist. She paused in surprise upon seeing Xu Jiao, then looked toward Ye Zhen standing nearby.
After her gaze shuttled back and forth several times, the middle-aged woman smiled at Ye Zhen, revealing her “crow’s feet” (wrinkles at the corners of her eyes): “You must be new here, young lady? I don’t recognize your face.”
Ye Zhen concealed her inner emotions and nodded to the woman. She was about to exchange pleasantries when she remembered that Xu Jiao’s condition probably meant she shouldn’t interact with strangers, so she remained silent.
Unexpectedly, the woman showed no signs of stopping. She took a few steps closer to them while asking, “This little one is quite fresh-faced and lovely – is she your sister?”
Ye Zhen: “…”
She bit her lip uncertainly, her gaze unconsciously drifting toward the apartment behind Xu Jiao, as if wrestling with whether to claim this unrelated “sister.”
But before she could respond, the middle-aged woman followed her gaze and seemed to realize something. Her voice immediately rose: “What are the Xu’s thinking? Isn’t this their autistic child? How could they just let her out like this?”
Her voice carried an exaggerated terror, as if what had been let out wasn’t a four or five-year-old child, but rather a weapon of mass destruction that could blow up the entire building.
Hearing the sharp rise in her voice, Xu Jiao suddenly turned to face her. When the woman met those bottomless dark eyes, she was instinctively frozen by the unsettling gaze. Just as she was stunned, Ye Zhen spoke in a deliberately slow manner:
“Auntie, please lower your voice. Your volume could wake every child in the building—”
“Her parents just stepped out briefly and asked me to watch her. There’s no need for making a big fuss over nothing.”
Though Ye Zhen used respectful terms of address, anyone could hear how her tone irritated the middle-aged woman. Just as she widened her eyes to say something, an even more piercing scream crashed into their eardrums at close range!
Ye Zhen watched helplessly as the girl who had been sweet and adorable just minutes ago, even capable of introducing herself, suddenly reverted to that sharp, sensitive state. She screamed at the woman as if suffering some terrible harm.
Several nearby households opened their doors to peek out at the commotion. Even though the woman was known for being quite “combative” (having a strong presence) in the apartment complex, she couldn’t possibly argue with a child having an episode. She immediately wore an expression of disgust as if she’d stepped in dirty water, deliberately moving away from Xu Jiao toward her own home:
“The Xu family really did raise a little lunatic. I’d better stay clear!”
By announcing this loudly, she was making it clear that Xu Jiao’s scream had nothing to do with her.
Ye Zhen didn’t want Xu Jiao to hear the idle gossip or face those judgmental stares. She knew what a kind child Xu Jiao was – she was just ill, that’s all.
Fearing Xu Jiao might become more distressed, she had to gather her courage to approach – a truly dangerous action, as this was their first meeting. Setting aside their earlier friendly interaction, approaching an autistic child during an emotional episode could put her in a risky situation.
Getting headbutted in the stomach might be the least of her concerns.
But Ye Zhen couldn’t worry about all that now. Before she knew it, she was already beside Xu Jiao, gently pressing the child’s head against her chest and covering her ears, shielding her from the neighbors’ strange looks. Meanwhile, she boldly guided Xu Jiao toward her home, knowing it would be the most familiar environment for the child.
The little one in her arms grew surprisingly quiet.
Only after entering the house did Ye Zhen realize her back was covered in cold sweat. She instinctively breathed a sigh of relief and looked down to give the child positive reinforcement: “You’re doing great, Jiaojiao is being so good.”
Xu Jiao: “…”
From the perspective of a normal adult, hearing such patronizing praise made her feelings rather complicated.
Especially since it came from someone she admired.
While she didn’t know how to react, Ye Zhen remained unconcerned. After checking the time, though she wanted to stay longer to better understand Xu Jiao’s situation, she knew she couldn’t “startle the snake in the grass” (an idiom meaning to act rashly and alert others). It wasn’t the right time to expose herself to Xu Jiao’s stepfather.
Finally, Ye Zhen crouched down again, patted Xu Jiao’s head, and spoke in a coaxing tone:
“Be good and stay at home. Would you like it if big sister came to play with you tomorrow?”
Xu Jiao: “…”
The obvious age gap of over ten years with Ye Zhen made her, now appearing so very young and small, feel particularly frustrated. She could only express her thoughts with a gloomy nod.
Seeing this nodding gesture, Ye Zhen couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows in interest.
The door finally closed.
Xu Jiao stood inside, silently staring at the door, as if watching the “wheel of life and death” (Buddhist concept of reincarnation) that had separated her from Ye Zhen in her memories. She remained motionless for a long time.
Meanwhile, outside, Ye Zhen took a step away, then suddenly turned back to look at the solid wooden door—
A flash of deep contemplation crossed her features.
Xu Jiao.
She quietly rolled those two syllables around in her mouth, then pressed her left fingers against her temple. This name had accompanied her through many worlds. She had uttered it during countless moments of ” entangled to death” (passionate intimacy), spoken of its owner’s heartlessness and cruelty, and also experienced their deep love and devotion. Yet she had never connected this mentally strong deity with that pitiful girl from her strange memories.
After all, they were worlds apart.
Who could have imagined?
The thoughts she had hastily suppressed earlier now resurfaced like “pressing down the gourd, up floats the ladle” (an idiom meaning when you solve one problem, another appears). Ye Zhen stared at the door, thinking about how Xu Jiao hadn’t shown any shyness upon seeing her, and those impossibly coherent responses. After a while, she asked the system in her mind:
“Tell me, is this Xu Jiao truly autistic, or is she pretending?”
“If she is pretending, what kind of soul lies within this ‘shell’?”
System: “…”
It calmly replied: “You already have the answer.”
Ye Zhen withdrew her gaze and gave a soft laugh.
“Yes.”
She indeed had the answer.
Regardless of what this child might be, she would protect her well. After all, she was her precious darling in one’s palm, the treasure of her heart.
She was the one Ye Zhen had yearned for across the long flow of time.
Ye Zhen didn’t want to see Xu Jiao suffer even the slightest harm.
Is this an infinite loop or something?? Ye Zhen is Yu Ye anyways and in the real world is Ye Zhen a real person or what